“I’m sorry about that. But you know how guys act tough when they’re together, right? And I’m not even the one who came up with that nickname, so why are you blaming me…”
What? Jung Sijun wasn’t the one who gave that nickname?
Though interest arose at a story slightly different from what he’d heard, Yoon Kihyun soon shook his head. Just imagining guiding now made him feel sick to his stomach.
Besides, even if Jung Sijun employed him personally, it didn’t seem like he’d provide more than the salary he received at the Center. It was when Yoon Kihyun was about to leave the room in disgust.
“Salary. Even if I add much more on top of the medication cost you have to take every month, you don’t want it?”
Jung Sijun casually threw out a tremendous proposal. At that moment, Yoon Kihyun’s pupils shook finely.
‘Much more… how much specifically does he mean by adding much more?’
He wanted to ignore it, but Yoon Kihyun ended up curious about the specific amount of the monthly salary Jung Sijun was proposing.
With the Center’s salary, he could barely repay his loans each month, and with the enormous treatment costs added on top, it felt hopeless, so the conclusion to die came about.
So he decided to die. However, if income enough to resolve that was generated, the future might not be a predetermined end in the near future but might have room to change just a little.
Jung Sijun, who noticed Yoon Kihyun’s internal conflict, when their eyes met with the complicated-looking black pupils, slightly raised his fingers.
“If the monthly salary is roughly this much, would you consider being my personal guide?”
Yoon Kihyun, who was tracing with his eyes the fingers with old scars and protruding knuckles, closed his mouth without realizing it.
In the quiet hotel room, only the sound of Yoon Kihyun gulping his saliva echoed softly.
“Not annual salary?”
It was a question close to unconscious.
It wasn’t enough that he heard an unexpected proposal from an unexpected guy, but the amount Jung Sijun indicated with his hand was so revolutionary.
“I said monthly salary. You said medication alone costs twenty million won per month. Looking at the state of your medication costs, it seems like an illness insurance doesn’t cover, so how are you going to handle it?”
I wasn’t planning to handle it, just planning to die.
Yoon Kihyun hesitated and chose silence without responding.
Though he’d confessed in anger that he was sick, he didn’t want to say that instead of thinking about receiving treatment because he had no money, he was thinking of dying.
Especially if the other party was Jung Sijun.
There was nothing to be gained from telling pathetic and messy stories. At best, all he’d receive would be pity or pitying looks.
Such things were of no help to Yoon Kihyun.
The only thing that could save Yoon Kihyun from the biggest crisis he faced was a huge sum of money that even working a lifetime might or might not earn.
“I know because there’s someone around me battling illness. Besides medication, there’s examination fees and what not—fucking tons of expenses, so if you’re asking a sick person to work, you should at least give this much to be called a human being.”
“…”
“Of all things, today I became a fucking bastard under heaven who fucked someone while drunk and conversely is raising hell demanding they take responsibility.”
Yoon Kihyun, who was staring at Jung Sijun laughing self-deprecatingly, nodded without realizing it.
For once, this bastard is spouting something right? He thought that for a moment.
‘They say even a broken clock is right twice a day.’
It was certainly big money to refuse.
It would have been nice if he could indifferently ignore it, but a lingering attachment to wanting to live still remained in a corner of Yoon Kihyun’s heart.
Keywords like the lottery he couldn’t help but buy, and insurance support systems remaining in his internet search history had shabby lingering attachments stuck all over them.
‘I’d be an idiot to let that go. What do I care how annoying that bastard is? With just that money, I can pay off debts, treat my illness, and have money left over. I haven’t even decided how to die yet, so I just need to close my eyes tight and say I’ll do it.’
The emotion he wanted to shake off but couldn’t quite shake off seemed to whisper secretly in his ear.
When Yoon Kihyun was shaking powerlessly in a storm of fierce conflict, Jung Sijun’s voice settled down from above his head.
“How about it? With this much, it seems like a proposal that gets me treated like a human being instead of a bastard. What do you think, Yoon Kihyun-ssi?”
Jung Sijun asked in that usual tone of his. It was a sarcastic tone that never produced good sounds no matter when you heard it. The kind of speech that definitely doesn’t feel good when you listen to it.
‘No, I don’t know about other things, but can’t something be done about that tone? Why does he have to talk like he’s picking a fight?’
The proposal and words Jung Sijun had just given him definitely had concern melted into them.
You could tell that the reason for presenting such an enormous amount monthly was because he considered the medication costs, and it was a nuance acknowledging the bedroom accident that occurred yesterday.
Even his gaze that felt somewhat cheesy. Judging comprehensively, Jung Sijun even seemed to be concerned about him.
However, because his tone was like that, no matter what hidden meaning was in his words, to the listener it sounded like he was picking a fight or being sarcastic.
‘If that’s also a talent, it’s a talent…’
Yoon Kihyun gave up on understanding Jung Sijun’s twisted speech. He exhaled softly and scratched his head.
The feeling of wanting to die hadn’t cleanly disappeared yet. In fact, just moments ago, didn’t he shudder and feel disgusted as if dying when he saw his face?
But suddenly accepting a proposal given with a presentation of big money felt somewhat embarrassing.
Every time he drank alcohol like water to forget the pain, he’d had the delusion a few times that if he could die and be reborn, it would be nice to be born in a wealthy family.
Facing directly a guy who was living the life that someone else would have to hope for in their next life made him feel annoyed.
He didn’t even know just how much money he had to be able to boast confidently that he could give such a salary to a personally employed guide.
Because Yoon Kihyun’s complicated mind couldn’t be organized, the silence was lengthening. The more it did, the more Jung Sijun’s mouth began to dry up.
In fact, though he pretended to be nonchalant, he desperately needed Yoon Kihyun’s guiding. Though he knew it was pathetic, he also had no sharp alternatives.
‘As Team Leader Jung well knows, the Center hired a large number of guides this time. I even pulled some strings to bring guides who were about to be assigned to regional centers to headquarters, so if you wait just a little, the guides will stabilize too. Let’s just suffer a bit more until then, okay?’
Naturally, Jung Sijun didn’t believe the opaque future prediction that the Esper Headquarters Director spouted with a friendly face as if soothing him.
Among the newly hired guides assigned to work, there might certainly be someone with decent qualities, and perhaps an S-rank guide might appear.
But it was certain that there was no guide who could replace Yoon Kihyun right now.
Because he knew well that if such a guide had appeared, the Esper Center Director wouldn’t come to him with such a low posture.
‘I didn’t know the vacant position would be this noticeable.’
Jung Sijun didn’t want to wait for a guide who might appear who knows when.
When there was the right person right before his eyes, why should he? Waiting wasn’t his aptitude, and he didn’t feel the need for it to be a different guide.
‘Is it because the salary is too low?’
Jung Sijun fell into agony. Anyway, money was deposited monthly to the extent he couldn’t spend it all.
Though he was financially wealthy to the extent he’d never worried about money once since birth, when it came to guiding, he was inevitably in an impoverished position.
Living as an S-rank esper meant that instead of earning money to the extent that a large corporation executive’s salary seemed trivial, the subtle pain and unpleasant sensation of constantly suffering from guiding shortage and gnawing at one’s nerves became daily life.
It was also fucking annoying to be nervous every time about how guides who whined just by holding his hand would handle his wavelength. No matter how he thought about it, the only one whose guiding was satisfactory enough to always occupy one side of his mind even after quitting was Yoon Kihyun.
At first, he couldn’t feel the vacant position much, but as time passed, he realized. The one who missed Yoon Kihyun more than anyone else was none other than himself.
“Are you going to make me do weird things with that money…”
When Yoon Kihyun cautiously tested the waters, breaking the deep silence, Jung Sijun covered his lips with his hand without realizing it. Because it seemed like he’d laugh.
At least the fact that a rebuke like “get lost” or “not interested” didn’t come out first also meant there was room to consider it, so the first start was good enough.
Though he didn’t know well, Jung Sijun also realized that Yoon Kihyun felt unfavorable emotions toward him.
He thought he didn’t care about the nickname circulating at the Center, but that didn’t seem to be the case either, so his feelings toward espers couldn’t be good.
By the way, what did he mean by making him do weird things?
He asked back while covering his lips that were trying to twitch.
“What weird things? For example?”
“Like calling me at all hours without rhyme or reason like a slave to make me do weird things…”
Even while speaking, perhaps feeling awkward, Yoon Kihyun’s words trailed off vaguely. Jung Sijun looked down at Yoon Kihyun’s reddish lips and said.
“So what exactly are those weird things? Explain concretely. If it’s right, I’ll say it’s right, and if not, I’ll say it’s not.”
Even when told to speak concretely, Yoon Kihyun pressed his lips together tightly and couldn’t quite continue his words. Judging by the nuance of his speech, he certainly seemed to be having weird imaginations.
“Are you worried I might fuck Yoon Kihyun-ssi under the pretense of guiding?”
It was the moment when Jung Sijun’s twisted broken clock was completely right today.
