At the time, I’d believed his words as truth and did my best for him who came every night, but I realized not long after that those were simply words to appease me and lower the probability of me acting out.
My heart stirred again for no reason at the sound that what he’d said then was true.
‘Then, did he worry about me to some extent even at that time?’
I naturally had such thoughts.
Clearly, Do Ganghyun at that time had wanted to protect himself from Guides. But what if, within that, he’d actually been worrying about me a little? What if I, who had felt his wavelength welcoming Guides, hadn’t been wrong?
‘Then what does that mean?’
It was a continuation of confusion. Even though I’d said I would adapt to the given situation, I kept having doubts and wanting proof. Wondering if maybe this time would be different, if perhaps there were actually misunderstandings between us, if my choice hadn’t been wrong from the start.
“I’m sorry. I’m not adjusted yet, so I didn’t think to contact you.”
‘I’ll be careful.’ I whispered quietly.
Do Ganghyun looked down at me like that for a long while, seeming to catch his breath, then soon moved his steps forward.
“I’ll bring the car, so don’t leave the main gate and wait.”
Having said that, he gestured with his eyes at the CCTV installed at the main gate.
I obediently nodded and stood there blankly. Each of these actions made me harbor expectations just in case. And that made him feel cruel to me.
That’s why. That’s why I stared in the direction he’d disappeared for so long.
***
I returned home with Do Ganghyun in silence. I wondered if it was okay to use the expression “home” for a place I’d only been in and out of for barely half a day, but there was no other appropriate word to call it. It sounded even more awkward since it was a word that had disappeared from my life after Grandmother became hospitalized.
“You didn’t eat, right?”
Do Ganghyun opened the refrigerator door right away without even taking off his coat. It was a tone that naturally knew I’d be on an empty stomach.
It wasn’t wrong, but somehow I didn’t want to affirm it. The unsettling feeling I’d felt from his attitude of taking care of my meals hadn’t been resolved yet, and his attitude of observing me delicately, more affectionately than ever, was suspicious precisely at this moment.
“Did you eat?”
‘There’s no way you did.’ Do Ganghyun turned to look at me and added. As expected, it was difficult to fool him with his ghostly intuition.
“…I didn’t eat.”
I shook my head reluctantly.
Do Ganghyun, who had been watching that appearance closely, turned back around with a face that said “I thought so.” From his face scanning the inside of the refrigerator, I could read signs of him pondering what to make.
‘Don’t tell me he’s going to make something himself?’
However, as soon as the thought arose, I immediately erased it. I even let out a slight laugh. SS-rank Esper Do Ganghyun cooking. And for me at that. It was truly absurd.
Though he’d recently taken an interest in my meals, it was only to the extent of eating out. Not once had he directly cooked to serve me, and that would be a story that applied equally to everyone, not just me. Why would he, who was not only a high-rank Esper but also a young master from a distinguished family, get his hands wet for anything?
“Just wash your hands and come out. I’ll have it ready in no time.”
However, as if mocking such thoughts of mine, Do Ganghyun casually added. I stopped my steps heading to the bathroom and turned to look at him.
“You’re going to do it yourself?”
Have you ever cooked before? I successfully swallowed the follow-up words that were about to pop out.
There was no way he, who lived a busy life as an SS-rank Esper, had properly cooked before. Even more so since before meeting me, he’d suffered from lack of guiding.
Especially in the case of high-rank Espers, most trivial matters needed for daily life were usually resolved using attendants or money, so it was difficult to continue imagining him cooking.
“Yeah.”
“…Wouldn’t it be better to order delivery since you must be tired? I’m fine not eating anyway. I skip dinner a lot anyway—”
I cautiously opened my mouth. However, seeing Do Ganghyun’s brow immediately furrow, I trailed off.
“Don’t talk nonsense. Myeong Eunha, that’s why you keep being sickly and unwell.”
A fairly normal and reasonable scolding followed. It was words hard to believe came from Do Ganghyun’s mouth.
“And quit that damn clinical trial too.”
“The experiment already ended.”
“That bastard Research Director keeps calling you out. Under the pretext of checking if the imprint has stabilized or saying he needs to do periodic checkups because my wavelength is unstable.”
“But—”
“There’s no but. My wavelength problem will disappear anyway since we’re living together now, and imprint stabilization doesn’t need to be checked this frequently either.”
Everything was correct. However, it was also difficult to carelessly add words. Because I, who was between Do Ganghyun and the Research Director, was thoroughly the weaker party to both of them.
When I couldn’t continue speaking and hesitated, Do Ganghyun, who had been looking at this with displeasure, clicked his tongue.
“I’ll talk to that bastard, so you just stay still. Don’t unnecessarily run to the research lab.”
A beat late, I realized that the “that bastard” Do Ganghyun mentioned was a word referring to the Research Director. I couldn’t bring myself to answer that I understood, so I just nodded.
“I’m not joking. The clinical trial period that bastard proposed was until clear results came out, and he gave natural imprinting as an example. We imprinted like that. Since we fulfilled the contract, that side should keep their promise too.”
Do Ganghyun, who had been watching me closely like that, tilted his chin and pointed in one direction. It was empty air, but I could instinctively know what that direction was pointing at.
Grandmother.
It was about the new medication support.
I was surprised that Do Ganghyun knew about my circumstances in more detail than expected, but my heart became troubled at the fact that he’d even read that I’d been anxiously watching the Research Director’s mood, worried he might change his words even after fulfilling the contract.
Of course, if he stepped forward, things would become easier. The Research Director had already been changing his attitude toward me while watching Do Ganghyun’s mood anyway. On top of that, if Do Ganghyun took issue with the absurdity of the contract until now, I wouldn’t have to worry about what kind of fault he’d find to change his mind.
However, for all these words to hold true, Do Ganghyun had to know my circumstances in detail, furthermore what kind of contract I’d made with the Research Director while staying by Grandmother’s side.
“I’m saying I’ll be your backing, so don’t hold hands with some random bastard.”
The appearance of knowing but pretending not to know, and trying to take care of things now. Between that sense of dissonance, I somehow felt that Do Ganghyun and I would never be able to get close.
***
When I returned after calming my troubled heart in the bathroom, the food I faced at the dining table was beef radish soup. And that with steak meat for grilling cut into chunks like radish inside it.
“Not eating?”
When I just looked at the soup placed in front of me without saying anything, Do Ganghyun asked as if puzzled.
I couldn’t bring myself to say I was afraid to eat it. I wondered if he couldn’t see the abnormally large amount of oil forming a film floating on top of the soup.
‘Esper-nim can’t cook…’
With an awkward smile, I put a piece of the soggy steak in my mouth. Meat juices that might be blood or soup, with the gamey smell of meat not properly removed, burst in my mouth. My brow almost furrowed instinctively, but I successfully held back.
“Mmm, it’s delicious.”
I held back the nausea rising sharply up my throat and praised it while making a nasal sound as if savoring the taste. Do Ganghyun kept watching me with suspicious eyes, and only after making sure to confirm the food going down my throat did he pick up his spoon.
“I’m glad it’s delicious. I’ll take care of it from now on, so don’t unnecessarily skip meals—”
Do Ganghyun stopped speaking. He closed his mouth while holding the meat that had entered his mouth along with the soup, then looked once at the soup placed on the table and once at his Guide sitting in front of him before slowly chewing and swallowing the meat. Needless to say, his expression wasn’t good. It was a form resembling an evil spirit, and from his expression, it was certain he wasn’t savoring the taste.
“Delicious? This?”
“……”
I couldn’t say it was delicious twice.
“Don’t eat it.”
Quite naturally, Do Ganghyun, seeing my reaction, took away the food bowl and all and dumped it in the sink. I was startled and followed after him like a duckling saying I could eat it, but he poured even the soup that had been bubbling on the gas stove over low heat all into the sink.
“Even if you can eat it, don’t. What’s wrong with your palate? Have you gone crazy?”
“If we just skim off a little oil, it’s plenty—”
“No, absolutely can’t eat it.”
While I was watching his mood and glancing at the food discarded in the sink, suddenly a phone flew toward me. When I inadvertently caught it, I saw a screen with a delivery app open.
“I’ll order delivery, so pick a menu. Don’t say you won’t eat.”
“Yes.”
I looked at the phone, which was a size that filled my palm and more, then calmly examined the categories.
‘First, I should avoid soup dishes and Korean food.’
While looking at the beef radish soup that had been reduced to food waste in an instant.
