In truth, I’d noticed early on that the feelings he harbored for me were unusual. In fact, hadn’t he said a few times that he liked me—though it was closer to giggling that it was fun?
However, even giving a hundred concessions, it couldn’t be seen as love. Possessiveness or monopolistic desire for a toy that only he could play with. An immature emotion that could only be interpreted to that extent.
It was recently that I began to doubt his true feelings. Was it because I poured effort into studying that wasn’t in my destiny? While wrestling with major textbooks, impulsive doubts would rise in my heated mind.
Why did he teach me so devotedly? I could roughly understand if it was because he enjoyed seeing me suffer, but no matter how much I questioned myself, there were actions I couldn’t make sense of.
“Jang Woohyun. Are you that confident?”
The card Baek Sahyun, who had been keeping silent, pulled out was an irrelevant answer. A light laugh and a flash of displeasure crossed by. I didn’t know about other things, but I could tell his mood was quite twisted at the moment.
“How much do I like you? I’m not a narcissist, why ask something like that?”
“No, it’s not that—honestly, just look at your behavior.”
Moreover, he seemed to like me more seriously than expected.
“Do you want me to like you as much as possible? Why. Because you want to date me?”
“No! Think seriously about it. The way you’re acting right now is exactly like someone who went crazy from unrequited love.”
“Want to date, then?”
“Hey, dude!”
“Let’s date. That work?”
The proof was in how he cut off the conversation and only poured out what he wanted to say. If he wanted to nitpick, he could have cursed asking if I was crazy, or warned me never to say such things again. With only pointless sarcasm and bullshit about dating continuing, I had no choice but to become even more certain.
That bastard Baek Sahyun really seemed to have set his sights on me. But I’m absolutely not gay, I’m a heterosexual, aren’t I? How should I answer to make him face this reality? Just as I was pondering.
With a knock-knock sound, the door that had been firmly closed rattled.
With instinctive crisis awareness, I tried to get out of the bed, but Baek Sahyun quickly pushed me down and locked me back in his two arms. Without time to avoid, the door opened as if in a surprise attack.
Soon two indoor shoes walked steadily inside. Since I was blocked by Baek Sahyun’s upper body, I couldn’t identify the person in my field of vision. However, judging by the long skirt, it was clearly a woman.
“Haha. You should knock. How would I know what you’re doing?”
Baek Sahyun put on airs as if mimicking lovers caught in the act. The indoor shoes stopped still at close range. I just swallowed my saliva in tension and watched the situation.
In the silence, the two seemed to face off exchanging glances. That’s when it happened.
“What else would my son be doing? Probably smearing shit on reports.”
When the silence finally broke, I could vaguely intuit. The owner of this noble voice was Baek Sahyun’s mother, that is…, a major corporation chairwoman.
That bastard Baek Sahyun definitely told me he lost his parents early, but at the situation I suddenly faced, my temples throbbed. He must have made up a story that didn’t exist to tease me.
The chairwoman with her hair up, who had reached the bedside and knelt on one knee, spoke.
“So you’re the guy loitering in my son’s room. Chairman Nam Hyungman’s youngest.”
“Ah, hello. I’m Nam…”
“Heejae. Nam Heejae. I know. I’m good at remembering people’s names.”
She kindly extended her hand. Since I couldn’t refuse an adult’s goodwill, I pushed Baek Sahyun’s shoulder away and awkwardly stood up to clasp hands.
I felt sorry for pushing away her precious son right before her eyes, but it seemed better than ignoring an adult’s goodwill.
A cold warmth transmitted through my palm. With her white and chilly aura, she was truly unmistakably Baek Sahyun’s mother. After simple pleasantries like “how is Chairman Nam doing” and “how is the company running these days,” mother patted my shoulder once as if comforting.
“So, what were you two doing while playing? Even locking the door.”
“Yes. Just, you know, it’s exam period so we were studying together and such. You absolutely don’t need to worry!”
I spat out words like a newly hired employee with proper discipline. Baek Sahyun, who had flopped onto the bed, seemed to be observing the conversation with his chin propped. If he had any tact, he’d help from the side. No. That guy’s time-bomb mouth was more comfortable just staying shut.
Mother asked.
“Studying…. Is our Sahyun good at studying?”
“Ah. Yes, of course! I’m learning a lot. I can’t keep up with his major knowledge.”
When I poured out praise, the chairwoman’s eyes narrowed. Hmm, her expression hardening as if unconvinced was exactly like her son’s. I emphasized his brilliance once more.
“He attends lectures faithfully, and his grades must be… high. No, they’re high. Really high.”
After a few repetitions, the chairwoman’s face softened a bit.
“That’s fortunate to hear. He’s smeared such shit on reports submitted to the company, I thought he’d smeared shit on his school life too.”
Smeared shit…. I let out an awkward laugh at the vulgar term. It was fascinating that she said such things with a graceful demeanor that would put Hollywood actors to shame.
“Sahyun and I fight often, you see. If only he’d done less fooling around with reports, we could have been an affectionate mother and son. Haha, he keeps doing this, so how can I not get angry? Thanks to that, we didn’t talk for a while. That guy just holes up and loiters with men.”
A soft gaze as if seeking agreement passed through me toward Baek Sahyun. I heard Baek Sahyun lightly scoff from behind. It was like laser beams shooting from both sides with me as a curtain between them.
Really, a strange mother and son. From their smiles to their subtle way of speaking, you’d believe they reproduced by budding, but there was no affection that should be felt between family.
“Do you two hang out often?”
The chairwoman, who had been glaring at the back for a while, turned her gaze to me. Her calm, dignified eyes seemed to gently coax me out. Since she was someone who had been checking what was happening in the room through helpers, it seemed better not to invite unnecessary suspicion.
“Ah, yes, that, yes, that’s right. Mainly wholesome activities. Like studying or exercising.”
I was worried about having my sincerity doubted, but I also couldn’t cheerfully confess that we’d agreed to exchange pheromone showers. Moreover, right now I’d appear as an alpha in the chairwoman’s eyes, and in such a conservative chaebol family, secret meetings between the same trait would be close to taboo.
Well, it’s not like Baek Sahyun and I have an improper relationship though….
The chairwoman scanned my entire body with eyes digging for truth. Though I could be confident I’d done nothing shameful, it felt like everything was being exposed before her sharp gaze. The series of events hidden under the pretext of being friends. Like kissing, or kissing, or kissing. Goddammit.
“You resemble Chairman Nam, so you can’t even lie.”
That’s when the string of tension snapped. The chairwoman, who had been smiling meaningfully, muttered in a clear tone. My heart trembled as if my shame had been discovered.
“Sahyun’s pheromones are coming off like this, but you played wholesomely?”
The chairwoman mercilessly threw a fastball. It seemed Baek Sahyun had rubbed pheromones on me in the meantime. Damn. Before I could spit out an explanation, my hands moved first. I waved my hands creaking like a corroded machine.
“No. Really not.”
At my earnest denial, the chairwoman stifled a laugh. Was she just testing me? No sooner had I let out a sigh of relief than another barrage of questions flew in.
“A companion.”
“Pardon?”
“Do you have someone you’ve made a pact with?”
I slowly shook my head. It seemed like a question about whether I had a fiancé…, if there was one, wouldn’t hyung-man-ssi have told me? The chairwoman’s gaze glancing over my entire body as if checking a product for defects was uncomfortable.
“She seems to like him.”
Baek Sahyun, who had been watching the situation all along, finally opened his mouth. Though his sarcastic tone was strong, it couldn’t make any scratch on the chairwoman’s full smile.
“Yes. I like him. He’s cute.”
A chill crossed for no reason. Baek Sahyun shot back. And with a completely unexpected answer.
“Too young men aren’t your type.”
Lo, lover?
“That would depend on this friend’s behavior.”
A vague chill ran through my body. I couldn’t follow the flow of conversation they were exchanging at all.
“Well. Woohyun has an unclear identity and a cranky personality. He’s not the chairwoman’s type.”
“It’s correctable, isn’t it? That’s enough.”
It was clear they were talking about me as a commodity, but exactly what it meant was unclear. Only one thing was certain: that goddamn Baek Sahyun was devaluing my worth.
Revealing my real name and even distorting my personality….
Uh, wait…, he said my real name?
