As soon as I was hit, stars flew before my eyes. No, the long streaks looked exactly like shooting stars. It hurt so much that my entire life flashed before my eyes like a revolving lantern.
Baek Sahyun—I’d expected him to strike without listening due to his bad hand habits, but he was even more merciless than I thought. Wouldn’t it be okay to at least hear why I came to think that way first?
Shaking my head left and right to regain my senses, I crawled on my knees and hugged Baek Sahyun’s legs.
“Sahyun-ah, Sahyun-ah. I really didn’t mean it the way you’re thinking. This is really….”
I tried to make excuses, but Baek Sahyun had already lost the screw that controlled his aggression.
“That way? What way is that? What do you think I’m thinking?”
The barrage of questions popping out of the bastard’s mouth made me even more dizzy. When the bastard lifted the book again, I thought ‘screw it’ and buried my face on top of his broad thighs.
Then—*flinch*—his firm body froze.
“You fucking—you’re misunderstanding. That I’m selling drugs because I want to become an alpha!”
“Then that wasn’t it?”
Baek Sahyun pressed on with a growl. I worked my jaw at the speed of a helicopter propeller.
“Would that make sense? The important thing isn’t that I become an alpha, but that you become a beta! You said you wanted to become a beta. So that’s why you accommodated me even though you could become impotent, right?”
How desperate must he have been for a man to not hesitate even knowing he could lose his sexual function? Moreover, the fact that you had to be a virgin with no sexual experience for a pheromone shower to turn a beta into an alpha….
Then it could be said he’d helped Nam Heejae with the resolve to live and die as a virgin for life. Where could you find such tear-jerking friendship? Honestly, while Baek Sahyun was also a bastard with psychopathic tendencies who drove people crazy, in this aspect he seemed like a decent bastard.
Baek Sahyun examined me with black eyes whose inner thoughts were unknowable, then slowly muttered.
“That was true.”
It was fortunate that signs appeared that we could communicate. I looked up at the bastard who was agreeing with a virtuous expression. Baek Sahyun covered my cheek with one hand. Perhaps because he’d been reading, it was a hand that smelled of paper.
But Baek Sahyun’s answer veered away from my expectations at the speed of light.
“It really was true but…, a person’s thoughts can change at any time, right?”
Uh, something about the flow felt strange.
A person’s thoughts—well, they could change ten times in one minute. But if it was a decision made with the resolve to become impotent…, shouldn’t it not change easily? Wouldn’t that be kind of hollow?
“I don’t want to see you meet a smart wife, have kids hanging all over you, and live happily together, Heejae-ya.”
Baek Sahyun’s palm slid down my cheek and lightly gripped my throat.
Because Nam Heejae’s body also had a frame, it didn’t all fit in one hand, but if the bastard really set his mind to it, it seemed he could break it.
“Baek, Baek Sahyun-ah…. Sahyun-nim. Why are you suddenly strangling someone’s throat and freaking out….”
“I haven’t strangled you yet.”
“Why are you acting like you’re going to strangle me and freaking out?”
“Because you keep putting me on a roller coaster. I feel like I’ve become insane.”
“That can’t be, Sahyun-ah. You were insane from the start.”
When I corrected his misunderstanding, his palm immediately squeezed hard.
Terrified, I blurted out whatever came to mind.
“No! I said no! You’re not insane!”
Then fortunately, the strength slowly drained from his hand. At the same time, the bastard touched my Adam’s apple. Though it was a careful touch, I didn’t let the tension leave my body since I didn’t know when or how he might change.
Baek Sahyun’s lips moved.
“Actually, you know. There have been tons of people who approached me with your kind of image.”
This is crazy. He’s completely spouting lines like a romance drama male lead. If an R-rated gay novel counts as romance, then it’s romance, but hearing goosebump-inducing words like this, I couldn’t get used to it. Especially when I was hearing it from another man.
“But they were all just disgusting. Their stupidity was disgusting, their inability to know their place was disgusting, their greed was disgusting.”
It was a manner of speech that killed with one blow. Was there really a need to speak that harshly…, I thought, then just left it at that. Even if I pointed it out, I knew I’d just get hit again anyway.
When I just listened quietly, Baek Sahyun seemed to have calmed down and kept poking my cheek with his index finger. I could tolerate this much. Compared to before, it was an unbearably cute action.
“You’re different.”
The four syllables that spread through his light laughter made my heart drop with a *thud*. The area near my spine chilled sharply.
“You’re so stupid it’s beyond control, so you’re interesting. The fact that you manage to read the room well is also interesting.”
No. No, no. This won’t do. This can’t happen. The same words kept swimming around in my head.
As I’d thought just now, even R-rated gay novels are romance when it comes to romance. The male lead just gets choked up falling for another man, but the structure and formula are typical.
Once they’ve set their sights on someone, they pour on the affection offensive until the wedding march plays. In *Excessively Brilliant*, the person who was supposed to face that affection offensive wasn’t Nam Heejae but Chae Eunwoo.
But why is this bastard—
“You seem to have greed, but it’s more interesting because I can’t tell what that greed is. It’s so absurd it makes me laugh.”
“……”
“If someone is so stupid they go beyond that level and seem to have no brain wrinkles, they become this interesting—why didn’t I know that until now?”
Why was he saying things similar to a confession to me?
Damn it. No matter how I looked at it, he was definitely insane. It seemed he needed to get counseling from a specialist as soon as possible. But my mouth wouldn’t open easily. Baek Sahyun whispered as if asking for my opinion.
“What do you think the reason is?”
A stiff pressure rushed in. Depending on what answer I gave now, it felt like my future life would take a different course. Should I say it’s because of curiosity, since this is the first time in my life I’ve encountered such an ignorant bastard?
But there would definitely be an answer Baek Sahyun was expecting, and if I didn’t get that answer right, there would be trouble. If I were also one of the characters in an R-rated gay novel, I would have answered like this:
It’s because you’re feeling attracted to me. And it’s a very big attraction at that.
But I absolutely couldn’t do that. There were many reasons.
I’m not really Nam Heejae, and I’m not gay either….
I was so aggrieved that tears nearly came. Moisture was building up in my eyes, and Baek Sahyun seemed to notice it too, making a pitying expression. Knowing it was pure pretense, I couldn’t even appeal to his sympathy.
Baek Sahyun said subtly.
“Don’t cry.”
“……”
“If you cry, I think I’ll lose interest, so hold it in while I’m being nice.”
Crazy. This is it! Saying he’d lose interest if I cried—I was both relieved and happy that it was such shallow feelings that only amounted to that much.
I tried to let a teardrop fall to seize this opportunity that came like a gift, but what the hell. Perhaps because hope had emerged, the tears sucked right back in.
Baek Sahyun stroked my head affectionately as if I’d done well. Though the gesture of treating me kindly should have made me happy, I wasn’t happy at all. My brain, which wouldn’t roll, just rolled frantically as I started searching for countermeasures.
I didn’t want to become Chae Eunwoo’s substitute without even trying any tricks.
Perhaps because of that, superhuman willpower surged up. Don’t give up, Jang Woohyun. They say even rat holes have sunny days, and even if you’re dragged into a tiger’s den, there’s a way to come out alive.
Perhaps thanks to the continued mind control, I was able to find an amazing solution.
“You know, Sahyun-ah.”
When I called out carefully, the bastard nodded his head.
“Yeah. I’m listening.”
I have to speak calmly. Calmly.
“Then I won the bet, right?”
“……”
“Don’t, don’t get angry. What you just said sounded exactly like…, it sounded like you like me, so that’s why I’m asking. We bet on who was gay, remember? You don’t remember?”
If he said he didn’t remember, there’d be no answer, but it was a bet this bastard Baek Sahyun had proposed first anyway. If he tried to deny it, I planned to push hard that I absolutely couldn’t associate with someone who lies like that.
Perhaps concluding it was too much to play dumb, Baek Sahyun agreed.
“I remember.”
“We agreed the winner gets their wish granted—you remember this too, right?”
“Yeah. Tell me.”
I almost asked him to get lost to the edge of the Pacific Ocean but held back. Even if I made such a demand, it seemed that bastard Baek Sahyun would pull some trick and corner me anyway.
Instead, I brought out the optimal move that seemed realistically feasible.
“I…, I want you to become a beta. Baek Sahyun.”
Nam Heedo had definitely said that. If an alpha pours out their pheromones to manifest a beta into an alpha, they themselves might lose their sexual function.
“I want to get to know you as beta to beta.”
“……”
“Think about it. If you take an alpha manifestation drug while receiving a pheromone shower, betas turn into alphas and alphas turn into betas. Then what if the beta doesn’t take the manifestation drug here? Then only the alpha’s trait changes to beta and that’s it, right?”
“……”
“I don’t want to live constrained by traits like you either. So that’s what I’m proposing. Not alpha to beta, but let’s meet as beta to beta. Honestly, you…, you’re attracted to me. I’m also attracted to you….”
I have to spit it out. Even if it’s not sincere, I have to spit it out. That’s the only way to get an opportunity.
“I’m also attracted to you, fuck. So that’s why….”
The moment this short statement ended, Baek Sahyun smiled brightly. I realized the bastard would accept my plan. While peace came to my heart, the aftertaste wasn’t good.
It would probably be one of two things. Either Baek Sahyun would end up as a beta, or beyond becoming a beta, he’d end up impotent. I would secretly take the manifestation drug while deceiving the bastard, so I’d be reborn as an alpha.
…That would reverse our positions of superiority.
Truly the optimal method to become free from Baek Sahyun.
“Music to my ears, Heejae-ya. Let’s do it. That thing.”
The bastard readily accepted, and I felt a little bit of guilt.
