At the direct words, Bernard couldn’t continue speaking and only gaped his lips. Rhino, who had been watching Bernard’s reddened face, laughed a little. Bernard had a dazed expression. It wasn’t a face that didn’t understand what meaning the words held.
The sight of Rhino grabbing his thin wrist and casually taking a sip of the coffee he’d been drinking was unbearably brazen.
“Choose your words more carefully.”
He stuttered in embarrassment. Even Bernard himself thought it was a foolish reaction. As if completely unaware of his flustered state of mind, Rhino smiled cheerfully and pushed a pile of fries in front of him.
“You seem even thinner somehow.”
“I don’t really think so.”
“Your wrist is just a handful.”
“…In good conscience, you should consider the size of your hands.”
Bernard grumbled while glancing at Rhino, who spoke as if exaggerating. Though the end of his words was a bit slurred like babbling, Rhino didn’t care and ate his fries dipped thoroughly in ketchup.
“That’s because you don’t eat much.”
The hamburger Bernard had unwrapped was still half remaining. It wasn’t such a weak stomach that he’d struggle with one hamburger, but his appetite wasn’t particularly stirred either, so he’d set it down in a half-eaten state.
“Is it because I spoke badly of Elliot?”
Rhino casually poked at Bernard’s uncomfortable spot. Having returned the coffee he’d stolen a sip of, he tapped the table with his index finger.
“But you need to know too.”
“Know what?”
“Your misconception is too solid.”
With his chin propped up, Rhino bent his upper body a bit more. The distance narrowed and their feet touched. His eyes curved faintly as if smiling, as if not smiling.
“I sometimes get curious.”
Rhino’s voice dampened and subsided. At the voice that grew small as if telling a secret, Bernard also inadvertently tilted his head.
“I’m confident I can beat Hurt. But I’m not sure if I can beat Elliot too.”
Even while saying such things, Rhino smiled innocently.
“You should think about it too.”
“…Me?”
“Someday you might have to choose one person between Elliot and me.”
It was a rarely quite uncomfortable conversation. Rhino didn’t talk about Elliot any further, and Bernard also tried to consciously push that topic back. It felt like something was changing. This wasn’t originally something he should be hearing. Perhaps it was the kind of talk Elliot would have heard in everyday life.
Many people had asked Elliot ‘why’ he took care of Bernard so much. Each time, Elliot would say with an angelic face that wasn’t it natural to look after one’s brother? Bernard, who had been standing beside him even holding Elliot’s bag, would be moved by quiet emotion. His brother, whom he sometimes felt like a child he had to protect.
However, the events of the past few days were truly strange. Elliot, who wouldn’t normally be unreasonable, examined Bernard meticulously as if confirming something. And then the gift from Rubens sent as if to show off, plus even Rhino who showed excessive hostility toward Elliot.
Even while picking at fries, his expression didn’t improve much. Though Rhino must have noticed Bernard’s state, he didn’t bother to resolve his discomfort. It was as if it meant to think about it more. The assumption that what Bernard had firmly believed all along might be a misconception stuck uncomfortably inside, leaving marks.
“So, have you thought a lot about a birthday present?”
The topic changed skillfully. At the opening Rhino created, an awkward expression crossed Bernard’s face. It was because he hadn’t thought of a suitable gift anyway.
“There’s something I want to receive separately.”
“Is it something I can buy?”
Bernard answered as if suspicious at the somewhat sly expression. Considering the consumption range Rhino occasionally showed, the item he’d want to receive would surely be an enormous price. It was hard to guess why he brought it up evasively when it would be beyond what Bernard’s wallet situation could handle.
“It’s something you can choose.”
“…You don’t mean the choice you mentioned earlier, right?”
At Bernard’s words revealing wariness, Rhino smiled without ulterior motives. Seeing him wave his hand saying no, it didn’t seem like he was lying, so Bernard belatedly withdrew his suspicion.
“You’ll know when you see it that day.”
“I’m the one giving the gift, but how can it be a secret even from me?”
“But it can’t be helped… Well, you’ll know when you come. So come looking pretty.”
Though knowing the added words were a joke, Bernard felt awkward. It was because he knew that ‘pretty’ was the furthest thing from himself.
“You can wear a checkered shirt and jeans with stretched-out knees.”
“…I know now that there won’t be anyone coming dressed like that.”
“Then I’ll kick out all the other people.”
“The people who came to celebrate your birthday? You’re joking, right?”
Bernard frowned. Even at his behavior as if he’d heard something absurd, Rhino just smiled silently. It meant he was serious.
“Don’t be mean. Everyone’s coming with goodwill.”
Bernard raised his index finger while making a somewhat stern expression. Facing him, Rhino only loosely tilted his head.
“What if I am mean?”
“…Uh.”
At the sudden question, Bernard’s momentum broke. With a disgruntled face, he was silent for a moment as if pondering something. Though Rhino was waiting obediently for an answer with a smiling face, inwardly he felt anxious. To Bernard, Rhino had always been trapped in the frame of being a good person. If he knew what he could actually do, or what kind of things he’d committed, even that Bernard might get angry.
“For example?”
“I could get into a brawl or cause an incident.”
Though he said it as an example, it was also something he’d already committed several times. Rhino quietly recalled the names of the past. Morris, Jenniot, Chris…. They were all guys who hated Bernard terribly. Some saw their family fortunes greatly decline after graduation, and in Chris’s case, the degree was so excessive that he even had a record of hospitalizing him by making him into half a corpse. They were all incidents whose truth Bernard didn’t know.
What Rhino threw out was just a hypothetical. He wanted it to be treated like a trivial assumption. However, Bernard thought for a long time with quite a serious face, then opened his mouth with difficulty.
“Still, you’d have a good reason for doing that. You’re prudent.”
The expression that appeared on his white face was only firm. It was a solid expression as if believing in Rhino’s innocence, but Rhino wasn’t satisfied with it.
“What if there’s not even such a reason? So suppose everyone in the world criticizes me. Would you still think that way?”
“Why such an extreme…”
“Think about it.”
To hide his inwardly tense state, Rhino laughed carelessly. Bernard’s head lowered slightly. Rhino felt an impulse to stroke his round head as he pondered, without context.
“I don’t know what you want to hear by asking like this. But you’ve always only given me help.”
Bernard smiled awkwardly while fiddling with the cold coffee cup. However, the awkward smile on his face soon faded.
“So if something like that happens… um… Say that I’m the cause.”
“What?”
“I mean tell them I made you do it, or that I seduced you.”
It was an absurd answer. However, Bernard’s expression as he spoke was quite serious, so Rhino could only stare blankly at his face without saying anything.
“I’m used to receiving resentment. It’ll be okay even if everyone in the world hates me.”
“…”
“But you’re not used to that kind of thing, right? You’ve always been popular… and you always have lots of friends. It’s really lonely when even kids like that turn their backs. It’s really painful when people I like leave, so I hope that doesn’t happen to you.”
Though it was a ridiculous answer to the point of being speechless, he seemed sincere.
“Of course it would be best if such a thing doesn’t happen, but…”
“Where is there a person used to receiving resentment?”
Because he knew Bernard was sincere, Rhino was rather hurt. Rhino, who had cut off the unfinished words with a snap, bit his lips. Bernard always tried to package himself as someone dull to such things, but from what he’d seen from the side, he was rather sensitive to that side. What did it mean that he noticed people’s malice better than goodwill?
“Ah… I didn’t want to hear this kind of answer. I was wrong.”
At Rhino’s reaction of washing his dry face and sighing deeply, Bernard rather didn’t know what to do more. He tried to soothe his mood by patting Rhino’s left hand, but Rhino’s tangled feelings didn’t improve easily.
“There won’t be a case where everyone in the world hates you either. If it happens…”
Rhino felt a sudden catch as he spoke. He made some unspeakable assumption. He stopped speaking for a moment and carefully examined Bernard’s face. The fact that Bernard and Elliot were twins remained as a subtle anxiety in one corner of his heart.
“I’ll hide you until it’s okay.”
Rhino’s expression was too serious to call it nonsense. This time Bernard looked at him with a subtle face. To nitpick seemed quite resolute, so he could only laugh emptily.
“Let’s stop this dark talk and go watch a movie. Rhino, there was a movie you wanted to see last time. It’s been released.”
“I do want to see it, but…”
“Do you have to go back already?”
Bernard’s eyes widened. Rhino spared his words for a moment. Looking at Bernard’s reaction, it was clear he hadn’t looked up what genre that movie was.
“You won’t regret it?”
“Why would I?”
“You won’t blame me even if you do?”
At Rhino’s reaction speaking as if threatening, Bernard obediently nodded. It was a face that didn’t know shit about what the other was thinking. Rhino folded up the anxious assumption he’d been mulling over until just now and pushed it to one corner. He couldn’t miss the unexpectedly obtained opportunity. His eyes thinned as he checked the screening schedule on his phone.
“There’s one in thirty minutes. Want to watch it together?”
Having already quickly reserved back row sofa seats in the meantime, Rhino’s face as he spoke with complete feigned ignorance was just utterly innocent.
