“What, did you say…?”
“I love you.”
Seeing Jaehee’s dazed expression, he couldn’t help but laugh.
Come to think of it, he’d never confessed like this before.
“B-but…”
“It’s okay. This is a dream anyway.”
Was he saying this to Jaehee, or to himself?
Jeongwoo looked at Jaehee with a self-deprecating smile.
Confusion appeared on Jaehee’s face, which had been expressionless all along. Jaehee’s face, avoiding Jeongwoo’s eyes, had a faint blush. That appearance was both pitiful and lovable, making Jeongwoo smile bitterly.
Jeongwoo had known for a long time that Jaehee had feelings for him. But Jeongwoo had no intention of telling Jaehee about his own feelings. Though he had once kissed Jaehee, unable to hold back his momentary emotions, he hadn’t seriously confessed that he liked him or loved him.
How nice would it be if he could do that?
But that was greed. His own selfish greed. So he held back his feelings again and again, suppressed them again and again. He crumpled them up into a pathetic shape and hid them down below. But emotions were such persistent and selfish things that they would pop out whenever a small opportunity like this arose.
The Manifestation of Nightmare could be seen as a kind of mental dungeon opened in Jaehee’s unconscious. Since it was happening in the unconscious, Jaehee wouldn’t remember properly even after waking from the dream. Or even if he remembered, he would think all of this was his own dream.
So he was taking this despicable opportunity to confess.
“I’ll make you happy. Jaehee, that’s all I want.”
Jeongwoo muttered quietly.
Yes, the reason he didn’t confess, the reason he pretended not to know even though he knew Jaehee’s feelings—it was all because of that.
Because he wanted Jaehee to be happy.
“J-Jeongwoo.”
“Jaehee… What about you? How do you feel?”
“Wh-what?”
Watching Jaehee’s face gradually turn red was quite amusing. If it was greed, then it was greed. Even if it was just in a dream, he wanted to hear Jaehee say he loved him. While Jeongwoo smiled at Jaehee, Jaehee’s face gradually burned up.
“I… Jeongwoo, I…”
“Only I will know. Jaehee. Okay?”
Like coaxing a child with candy, Jeongwoo whispered softly. Jaehee soon nodded with his reddened face.
“I, I like you too.”
“Really…?”
“Y-yes.”
The corners of Jeongwoo’s lips rose, but he deliberately made his voice sound sulky.
“I said I love you… But you just like me?”
“N-no, that’s not it… Huu, I’ve never said this kind of thing before… I, I also l-l-love you.”
The last words he spat out were so small they could barely be heard, but Jeongwoo didn’t care much.
He was aware he had done something petty. But he was happy to hear Jaehee say he loved him, even like this.
“Jaehee.”
“Y-yes.”
A gentle breeze came from somewhere. The dark and gloomy atmosphere around them had also strangely softened.
Since it was Jaehee’s unconscious, it must be influenced by Jaehee’s emotions.
“Should we go on a date?”
“D-date?”
“Yes. Let’s eat delicious food and go to a nice place to set the mood. It’s our first date.”
At the word “date,” Jaehee’s eyes shook wildly. Looking around, he newly noticed the dark and gloomy environment. It was definitely not a place that suited the soft word “date.”
How did Jeongwoo know? Since when had he known?
He thought he had hidden these feelings tightly.
His heart, which had been stiffly hardened, melted softly and flowed away.
“Jeongwoo, where do you want to go?”
“Hmm. I want to go eat ice cream. You know that place in front of our school? Let’s eat ice cream there and watch a newly released movie. We could also go for a walk in the park.”
As he listened to Jeongwoo’s words, familiar neighborhood scenes unfolded.
The ice cream shop they visited every time after school, the movie theater they often went to with friends, the park where cherry blossoms bloomed fully in spring.
One by one, they came to mind. But why did these things feel so nostalgic? They were definitely places he went to countless times throughout high school.
Right, come to think of it, he had taken the college entrance exam. That bastard Jeongwoo didn’t take the exam and didn’t even enroll in college.
Wait, then did I go to college? All his memories were hazy. Something seemed like it would come to mind but didn’t. And at that moment, fear suddenly struck.
“W-wait, Jeongwoo.”
When he turned his head away from Jeongwoo, he saw a house down the hill. That house was Mom’s house. Mom is…
As his thoughts reached there, strength suddenly drained from his entire body. His head throbbed, and his feet became heavy. It felt like something was pulling his body into the ground.
“Jaehee! I want to go with you. Shin Jaehee! I really want to go with you.”
Jeongwoo cried out urgently. The surrounding environment was changing frantically according to Jaehee’s condition.
Though the surroundings had clearly been brightening until just now, now they were rapidly darkening and getting colder. But Jaehee shook his head, trying to break away from Jeongwoo.
“No, Jeongwoo. You’re thinking wrong. I… I shouldn’t be happy.”
“What are you talking about!”
“I don’t deserve to be happy. Because of me, because of me, Mom…”
“Shin Jaehee!”
Jeongwoo yelled loudly. Jaehee looked at Jeongwoo in surprise.
“Don’t think like that at all. What happened to your mom is unfortunate, but it was unavoidable. You were just a child who needed protection. I’m sorry to your mother, but if you ask who was at fault, it was your mother’s fault. Your mother was a person who had a duty to love, cherish, and protect you. And…”
Jeongwoo paused for a moment and looked at Jaehee. He hugged him tightly so as not to lose Jaehee who was trying to escape from his arms.
If you knew what I had to pay and what I had to endure to save Shin Jaehee, could you still say that?
You must be happy. You’re a person who has a duty to be happy, Shin Jaehee.
“You’re not at fault. You loved your mom with all your might, and it was tragic but unavoidable. Your mother isn’t by your side, but she’s surely wishing for your happiness. It’s natural for a mother to want her child’s happiness.”
Jaehee stayed still without saying anything. All this time, he had regretted countless times and blamed himself. Why did he leave Mom alone when he knew she was such a weak person? In fact, from the depths of his heart, wasn’t he also annoyed by Mom? Didn’t Mom also know about his heart that found her difficult?
So he thought Mom’s death was his fault. That he alone should have stayed by Mom’s side.
But when he heard from Jeongwoo that it wasn’t his fault, that it was just an unavoidable tragedy, his strength completely drained. It felt like something that had been endlessly pulling him down had snapped.
Only then did he realize. In fact, he had been waiting for someone to say those words.
“Huuuuuung. R-really, really is it okay? Can I, huuuung, be happy?”
Tears burst out. Though he had pretended not to know because he couldn’t bear it, it felt like the terrible lump of guilt that had been weighing him down had fallen off.
When Jeongwoo patted Jaehee’s back, even louder crying burst from Jaehee.
Perhaps after Mom died, someone might have said it wasn’t his fault. But Jeongwoo was the only one whose words reached his heart.
“Jaehee. I’ve kept telling you. You’re a person who should be happy. If there’s anyone in this world who has a duty to be happy, it’s you. So from now on, do your best to be happy. Actually, this is only for you, but I don’t care what happens to other people. As long as you’re happy.”
“How, how can there be such a thing?”
“Here it is. I exist to make you happy.”
Jaehee stuck out his lips with swollen eyes and shook his head left and right.
“Don’t say it like that.”
“Huh?”
“If you say that, it’s like you have no happiness.”
Jeongwoo paused for a moment and looked at Jaehee.
Jaehee stretched out his hand and stroked Jeongwoo’s head just as Jeongwoo had done to him a moment ago.
“My happiness is being with you. You being by my side. I told you. I like you, no, I love you. You tell me to be happy, but my happiness is with you, so you have to be happy too, Woo Jeongwoo.”
For a moment, Jeongwoo’s face looked as if he was crying. Jaehee tilted his head at Jeongwoo’s strange reaction.
Did he say something strange?
But isn’t this natural between two people who confessed their love for each other?
When Jeongwoo said something softly, a golden light began to glow from Jaehee’s body. Since Jaehee had overcome the nightmare by his own will, the Manifestation of Nightmare was ending and he was returning to reality.
“Woo Jeongwoo! Promise me! That you’ll be happy too! That you’ll be happy for me too!”
Jaehee grabbed Jeongwoo’s face and pressed his lips to it. For a moment, Jeongwoo was so surprised he couldn’t move and stayed still. Jaehee didn’t remove his lips from Jeongwoo’s until his entire body was engulfed in golden light and disappeared.
