Its behavior of being cautious at first then approaching and clinging somehow reminded him of someone. Jun-wan couldn’t take his eyes off the stray cat and gently stroked its round back.
A car sound came from afar. The sensitive cat noticed the presence faster than anyone and quickly ran away somewhere. A moment later, the gate opened and Yu-shin came in. He stopped the moment he took a step inside. His face showed he completely hadn’t expected Jun-wan to be out on the terrace.
“……”
All expression was wiped from Yu-shin’s face. Soon he walked forward looking only ahead.
Jun-wan also uncrossed his legs and stood up. After brushing off the cat fur on his pants, he picked up the coffee cup that was more than half full and went inside the house.
Since there was nothing in particular to do anyway, he might as well go out to greet him. He stood blankly in front of the middle door and watched Yu-shin take off his shoes.
“……”
Yu-shin seemed quite uncomfortable with that and dawdled. With his gaze fixed on the floor, he rubbed his sneakers together.
“…Why are you home? Aren’t you going to work?”
“Today is a public holiday.”
Dismay spread across his white face. But even that disappeared like a brief moment. Yu-shin controlled his expression and went on his way.
The steps that passed by Jun-wan headed to the kitchen. Yu-shin, who took out cold bottled water from the refrigerator and drank it, put his hand on his waist and exhaled a huge breath as if the ground would cave in.
In the meantime, Jun-wan poured the completely cooled coffee into the sink. After rinsing the cup and wiping his wet hands, he leaned diagonally against the sink.
He was currently persistently observing all of Kim Yu-shin’s actions, expressions, and breathing sounds. He had noticed from the moment he crossed the gate that Yu-shin’s condition was different from usual.
He was especially expressionless today. Kim Yu-shin without a smile was like cold glass. An invisible barrier formed, not allowing others to approach.
Jun-wan could only watch from a few steps away. The more he looked, the more questions arose. Why he was like this, what was causing it. As his mother said, perhaps because his interest in him was extreme, he was concerned about every one of Kim Yu-shin’s expressions and actions.
“Are you not feeling well?”
He came up with the most likely guess. Even at the subtly thrown question, Yu-shin didn’t even give him a glance. Instead, he swallowed a breath deeply enough to make his ribcage heave, then quietly exhaled. The way he calmly suppressed himself looked like the sea at night right before a storm.
“I suppose so.”
No warmth could be felt from his tone. This confirmed that Yu-shin’s mood had hit rock bottom.
Yu-shin turned around without giving even a speck of attention to the person next to him. His steps heading to the second floor had uncharacteristic force—thump, thump. Then he changed into comfortable clothes in the dressing room and came back down.
The only place Yu-shin could be alone in the house they lived in together was the studio. To hole up for a long time, he gathered things like water to drink and a phone charger. The whole time he moved busily, he treated Jun-wan like a transparent person.
There was no way the tall body couldn’t be seen. He was just thoroughly maintaining indifference.
For some reason, Jun-wan followed Yu-shin everywhere he passed. The person who usually only paid attention to his own business no matter what was happening was today persistently watching and paying attention.
The more that happened, the stiffer his spine became. Yu-shin ground his molars and straightened his mental thread. Absolutely don’t waver, get a grip Kim Yu-shin. He urged himself on several times as he crumbled.
After taking out a couple of energy bars from the cupboard for a suitable snack, he turned around. Jun-wan was standing in front of him without any presence, having arrived at some point. Yu-shin, startled on his own, stepped back. Blocked by the long storage cabinet, there were no more steps to take.
Yu-shin bit his lips hard. The swollen lips had subsided over the weekend and regained their original clean shape. As if nothing had happened. Just like Park Jun-wan right now.
“Move.”
“Why are you being like this?”
Jun-wan stuck close and examined Yu-shin’s complexion in more detail. He needed to find the reason for the low pressure. It seemed the uncomfortable feeling he couldn’t identify would only be resolved that way.
When they stood facing each other, Yu-shin’s face gradually flushed from his neck to his forehead. With skin clear enough to be transparent, if heat rose somewhere, it would show immediately.
His lower lip that he was biting had blood pooled in it, and his neck and the corners of his eyes were also red. On the other hand, both cheeks were pale, so he didn’t seem like a sick person at all.
“I don’t think it’s because of your condition.”
Jun-wan concluded based on visual evidence. Both the gaze looking at Yu-shin and the low voice contained worry unlike usual.
Moreover, the body that always maintained an appropriate distance was closely attached to block Yu-shin.
“……”
Yu-shin couldn’t easily raise his head. He was only embarrassed, not knowing where to place his gaze. If he lowered his eyes, he could see Jun-wan’s long legs that had been entangled with his, and if he raised his gaze even a little, he could see the broad chest that had pressed him down. He couldn’t bear to look at his face. If he raised his head in this state, it was obvious he would just stare blankly at his lips.
From the moment he faced Park Jun-wan, the memory he had decided to bury in a drawer surged. The frustrated feelings and embarrassing memories mixed together and turned his entire sound mind into a muddy field.
This is why I was trying to ignore him.
The moment he squeezed his eyes shut, Jun-wan took one more step closer. A cold hand touched above Yu-shin’s forehead.
Even though it was just taking his temperature, Yu-shin gasped and swatted his hand away. The back of his hand missed and made a sound like slapping a cheek.
Jun-wan gently rubbed his stinging hand. He narrowed his eyes and stared at Yu-shin, who was guarding more than necessary. What could be the reason? Because he didn’t know, he was doing things he normally wouldn’t do.
“Let’s talk.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk with you right now.”
Yu-shin’s face was thoroughly upset. Just looking at his protruding lower lip revealed that something about Jun-wan had twisted his mood.
Right, this is better than treating someone in front of you like a transparent person.
Jun-wan slowly pushed his cheek with his tongue and exhaled deeply through his nose.
“What’s causing this? Is it related to me?”
The face that had turned away slowly straightened. Yu-shin spoke as if chewing with his large eyes glaring.
“What if it is related?”
“Then as the party involved, I’m willing to resolve it.”
“How very gracious of you.”
Yu-shin’s nose bridge twitched. After stewing in his feelings for a while, he shot a more venomous look than before.
“Park Jun-wan, you’re going to receive divine punishment.”
“Let me at least know the reason before I receive it.”
Jun-wan wasn’t someone who would be easily defeated. Using his significantly greater height as a weapon, he looked down at Yu-shin and maintained absolute superiority.
One corner of Yu-shin’s eye trembled at the sight of him. Heat rushed to his face in an instant. He wanted to throw away the dignity and courtesy of a yangban family’s son and pour curses in his face.
Whack—!
He kicked Jun-wan’s shin. Jun-wan, who took a proper hit to the bone, let out a short groan and bent at the waist.
Yu-shin tried to quickly escape at that moment. But his wrist was grabbed and his turning body was pulled back and stood in front of the storage cabinet.
A struggle broke out. Yu-shin cursed fiercely to not lay hands on him, and Jun-wan had a hard time straightening the struggling Yu-shin.
Since the difference in strength was clear anyway, this fight could only be won by Jun-wan. Yu-shin, who had both wrists taken and was fixed to the storage cabinet like a pinned insect, couldn’t hide his frustrated feelings and even panted.
“You bad bastard…! Let go! Just because you’re strong… you’re completely selfish!”
“Who’s talking right now? Kim Yu-shin, you’re the one who doesn’t have the basic attitude for conversation.”
“What is there to talk about with someone who forgot everything! You don’t even remember kissing me!”
Yu-shin yelled out loud. His flushed face no longer had any white skin left. His large eyes were also brimming with tears.
It was surprising enough that tears welled up in Yu-shin’s eyes, but more than that, the words he had just shouted struck Jun-wan hard on the back of the head. Jun-wan rarely widened his eyes and opened and closed his lips.
“That day…”
“……”
“Were you home?”
A thread-like voice finally came from Jun-wan’s mouth. When the grip holding his wrist loosened, Yu-shin shook off his hand without delay.
He was indescribably embarrassed. The humiliating feeling left Yu-shin in complete shambles. With his now-free hands, he hid his flushed face and pressed down on his eyelids with his fingertips, firmly pressing away the slight moisture.
“Kim Yu-shin.”
Jun-wan pushed back his unstyled bangs and let out a sigh-like breath. He’d finally found the cause. Since it happened to be the worst mistake, even Jun-wan, who wasn’t surprised by most things, felt his tongue burn dry.
“I’m sorry. I… made a huge mistake.”
“Forget it. You can’t even remember anyway.”
“Look at me.”
Jun-wan forcibly pulled down Yu-shin’s hands. Yu-shin’s eyes were moist with tears he hadn’t managed to wipe away. His clumped lashes were soaked, a deep ink color. His nose tip was red. Yu-shin sniffled loudly.
“Ugh, this is so annoying…”
This situation was annoying, and he couldn’t stand himself crying like a child. He’d tried to draw a line and live separately from Park Jun-wan, but the reality that had fallen apart in less than a day was the most miserable.
“I deserve to be hit.”
Jun-wan muttered to himself. Then he suddenly lifted Yu-shin and sat him on the dining table.
It happened so instantaneously that Yu-shin had no presence of mind to struggle. As he sat there dazed, Jun-wan pressed both arms on the edge of the table and bent his waist.
Finally their eye levels matched. No, rather, Jun-wan’s eye level was directed slightly lower. He was currently prostrating himself flat like a sinner.
