“We really have a hard time getting close.”
“There’s no particular need to get close either.”
“But I want to get close to you, Jun-wan.”
“……”
Jun-wan didn’t respond and just swept the inside of his cheek with his tongue. In place of the broken conversation, only awkward silence flowed. Taking advantage of being stopped at a light, he pressed the radio button.
Classical music flowed into the quiet car. As if he liked the music, Yu-shin’s body relaxed comfortably. His slender fingers rested on the car window frame, swaying back and forth.
While the melody filled the conversational gap, Yu-shin suddenly rubbed the frame with his fingertips. As expected, not a speck of dust was on it.
Park Jun-wan was a neat man. What he used, what he wore, where he stayed—everything was always clean. It’s amazing how even inexpensive ready-made items look luxurious when he has them.
He could drive a nicer car. Of course, domestic cars were good too, but Park Jun-wan seemed like he’d suit a somewhat fancier car.
Not something flashy, but a German car with a solid yet sleek body.
Are researchers really paid that poorly? After being lost in thought for a moment, Yu-shin opened his mouth.
“Do cars count as luxury items too?”
“Why are you asking something so obvious?”
“I mean, would you get looks for driving a foreign car?”
“Similar.”
“Wow… I guess there are only petty people.”
“No one directly gives you looks. It’s just an unspoken convention.”
Jun-wan unusually gave a detailed explanation. Yu-shin brightened his eyes with interest.
“Then, will you change your car when you become a professor?”
“That’s the plan. It’s about time to change anyway.”
Jun-wan’s car was old, so lately the parts needing repair had increased. The time spent visiting the car center was a waste, and the repair costs were considerable, so he planned to replace it soon.
He had no intention of flaunting wealth, but since he was changing it anyway, he thought it would be reasonable to buy a good car and drive it for a long time.
The problem was that Kim Yu-shin, who wasn’t even involved, was getting excited. He kept adding comments from the side about what was good these days and which car seemed nice.
“When you become a professor, I’ll buy you one as a congratulatory gift.”
“Why would you buy that, Kim Yu-shin?”
“Can’t married couples do at least that much for each other?”
“Act according to your own circumstances.”
“What’s wrong with my circumstances?”
“Kim Yu-shin’s financial situation is obvious. You’ll be buying it with your parents’ money anyway, and if it’s a gift received that way, I’ll decline on my end.”
Yu-shin looked at the person next to him with round eyes. Jun-wan still didn’t give him a glance. How cold his sharp facial lines and gaze fixed straight ahead are. He definitely felt the sincerity.
A laugh suddenly burst out. This person really sees me as a good-for-nothing. Yu-shin rubbed his lips and swallowed the remaining laughter. Well, I’ve only been lounging around at home, so it’s natural for Park Jun-wan to see me as unemployed.
“Fine, then capable Park Jun-wan can buy it himself. But consider the car I mentioned earlier. It’s really good, I’m telling you.”
“If you want to drive a foreign car, why don’t you drive one yourself?”
“……”
“Don’t tell me… you don’t even have a license?”
“No, I might not have one…. What, you just cursed at me with your eyes!”
Yu-shin raised his voice. I definitely saw it! He reproached him, saying he knew all the harsh words he’d said inside.
“When did I ever… Haah, never mind. Let’s not talk.”
Jun-wan hurriedly composed his expression. He hadn’t cursed, but he had criticized to that extent. Lest he be caught, he hid his inner thoughts behind his usual indifferent face.
The rainy road was quite congested. Mixed into the line of cars following tail to tail while waiting for the signal, Jun-wan rubbed around his eyebrows with his bare hand.
“What have you been doing all this time without getting a license?”
The stiff tone was like Jun-wan’s chronic illness. Conscious of it himself, Jun-wan gently bit his lower lip. Yu-shin didn’t really care much.
“I have a driver. I didn’t feel the need.”
“You’re not going to never drive for your whole life. Get it when you have time.”
“We’ll see.”
Yu-shin leaned his head against the passenger seat and pretended not to care.
I’m a patient with a condition that restricts driver’s license acquisition. If he could have gotten it, he would have gotten it long ago. His face wearing a bitter smile was reflected in the car window where raindrops were hitting.
No matter how much he pretended to be fine, his flaws clung to him like ingrained dirt. Things like a driver’s license he could never get, his meager education, and a body that only functioned by taking medicine every day.
Maybe I’m building up my self-esteem even more desperately to hide that. One fortunate thing was that Park Jun-wan had no particular interest in others’ flaws. His consistent indifference rather gave Yu-shin comfort.
Would his attitude change if he found out I’m someone with frequent illnesses? Park Jun-wan was the only person who saw him as ordinary, and if even he treated him as a patient, it would feel suffocating. Just imagining it made his heart troubled.
Yu-shin resolved again. Even if it meant being misunderstood as an insincere and lazy person, it would be better to keep the secret buried.
A weekend was a weekend. The movie theater located in the multiplex shopping mall was teeming with people.
The two stood dumbly and observed people’s movements. The movie theater they’d visited after a long time had many things changed anew.
Kiosks were abundant. In front of them, long lines could be seen. Jun-wan assessed the situation tactfully. When he said he’d go get the tickets, Yu-shin nodded.
“Do you need something to drink?”
“Yes, anything’s fine.”
Just then, a couple stood up. Luckily, when a seat opened up, Jun-wan subtly pushed Yu-shin to sit on the sofa, then walked steadily toward the kiosk.
Jun-wan too hadn’t been to a movie theater in a long time. His life had been far from cultural activities from the start. The fact that all his past romantic relationships ended in failure likely had Jun-wan’s indifferent attitude playing a large part.
He got the movie tickets and purchased drinks at a small franchise cafe attached next to the concession stand. In Jun-wan’s hands were one cup of coffee and chamomile tea.
He took a step and stopped still. Yu-shin was at the end of his gaze.
Yu-shin, sitting blankly on the sofa, was looking at the display board with an expressionless face. Kim Yu-shin without a smile had a somewhat cold impression. His already cat-like eyes became even more pointed as he looked up.
Many people around were already glancing at Yu-shin.
Even though there was an empty seat next to him, no one sat down.
A beauty with an unapproachable atmosphere is difficult to approach or speak to. They just glanced furtively.
Jun-wan had received a similar impression at first. His distinguished face seemed rather arrogant, and he had a strong feeling that he’d be stubborn.
Is that his public image? In reality, Kim Yu-shin smiled quite often. His manner of speaking was also soft, and far from being fussy, he was casual about everything.
The people who know his true nature must be limited. Jun-wan also now belonged to the people who understood Kim Yu-shin’s essence. He took a big step and approached Yu-shin, who was putting up a barrier like ice.
When he handed over the paper cup, Yu-shin’s coldly hardened face softened. Jun-wan recognized that subtle expression change immediately.
“Thank you.”
Yu-shin opened the cup lid. The hot steam that had been pooled inside burst out of the cup. Yu-shin couldn’t handle hot things well. He left it for a long time to let the tea cool. The fragrant chamomile scent spread thickly.
There were still about 10 minutes left before the movie started. It was enough time to drink beverages.
Yu-shin held the warm paper cup tightly in his hand and looked around quietly. It was a bit uncomfortable with many people staring, but when Jun-wan sat next to him, the discomfort eased considerably. Now he had the leisure to look around at the people nearby.
“There are a lot of couples.”
Most of those who visited the movie theater were lovers. Among them, couples of the same gender could often be found.
They affectionately linked arms and fed each other popcorn, showing off their affection. It would have been unthinkable in the past.
He’d recently seen an article saying that same-sex couples getting married were increasing exponentially. Homosexuality was no longer a realm of the shadows. The wedding industry actively stepped forward to promote it, and recently a famous actor had a lavish wedding with a same-sex lover, which put the finishing touch.
But interest in the same-sex couple who broke the first ground was still ongoing. Sitting side by side together, more people recognized them. At the blatant interest coming from here and there, Yu-shin twisted his crossed legs uncomfortably.
He glanced sideways. Jun-wan was just drinking coffee with a cold face. His attitude clearly showed he didn’t care who was watching.
“People are staring too much. Is it more like that because we’re together?”
“There’s no need to pay attention to every little thing.”
