If he hadn’t known that Sunmin had been bullied after being caught liking someone of the same sex, he would never have guessed that he was interested in anyone.
He was curious how someone could be so detached while liking someone.
“You……”
Hakyoung opened his mouth. He lightly tapped the desk with the back of his hand to get the attention of Sunmin, who was wearing a headset. Feeling the vibration, Sunmin looked over. Then he slightly lifted and removed the headset.
“Yumyeong did something weird to you, right?”
“Something weird? Ah.”
Sunmin nodded.
“Yumyeong does that sometimes.”
As he said this, Sunmin smiled. Even that smile was incredibly detached. There was no sign of clinginess or obsession.
“Besides the middle school graduation photo, did he take anything else?”
“Nothing besides that…… Why?”
“Just, it’s weird.”
Yumyeong acted quite affectionately toward Sunmin under the pretext of helping him and showed suspicious interest. He was curious what Sunmin thought about this.
If he harbored even a little bit of expectation…….
Without even knowing what he wanted to do, Hakyoung only thought ‘I don’t like it’ to himself.
“If you’re uncomfortable with Shin Yumyeong constantly acting like that toward you, tell me. I’ll make him stop.”
“Hakyoung. You.”
Sunmin’s low voice fell over his bowed head. Hakyoung suddenly lifted his head and met Sunmin’s eyes.
The eyes that usually had a mild-mannered look were staring straight at him.
At that moment, even without hearing what came next, he somehow thought ‘I’ve been caught.’
It was when Hakyoung tensed up without realizing it.
“Are you interested in Yumyeong?”
Hakyoung was silent.
Up until now, he had shown many sides of himself that weren’t like him while going through emotional ups and downs, so he had thought someone might notice. However, as long as it wasn’t Yumyeong himself who was the person involved, he didn’t care who found out. Perhaps that’s why he could be somewhat calm about it.
Sunmin seemed to take the silence as affirmation. He stared at him for a moment, then said,
“I see.”
And briefly said that before shifting his gaze back to his comic book.
That attitude felt strange, and Hakyoung blinked slowly.
It was quite a while later when he spoke again.
“Didn’t you like Shin Yumyeong?”
At those words, Sunmin responded lightly.
“I do like him……”
“You’re not bothered?”
At that, Sunmin turned his body toward Hakyoung again. His face looked genuinely puzzled.
“Then what should I do?”
“……”
“Honestly, I’m used to it. Liking someone one-sidedly. For me, liking someone just means my heart feels that way, and that’s it. Yumyeong likes girls. It’s not something I can change by making some kind of effort or anything. Just because you have those feelings for Yumyeong, should I be jealous? I’m nothing.”
“……”
“Actually, I think it’s been like that for everyone I’ve ever liked. I don’t want to beg guys who like girls to like me back, and I don’t want to get close to them in a burdensome way. I’m scared of the relationship changing. I’m satisfied just being by their side and being able to talk to them like friends……”
Hakyoung listened to his words without even blinking.
Every word, every phrase struck his heart. Those were the words of someone very familiar with failure. The words of someone who learned first how not to let their heart grow too big, knowing they would naturally not reach the ending.
The problem was that he didn’t really know how his own position was any different.
“Okay. I understand.”
Hakyoung muttered quietly.
***
The club room that had been empty was also starting to fill up little by little.
Around the long horizontal desk were chairs that had been requested and received through supplies. Hakyoung brought his favorite night sky poster and put it up on the wall. With the sleek-bodied telescopes standing there too, it looked quite like an ‘Astronomy Club room.’
The club members who encountered the actual telescopes were impressed by the more serious equipment than expected. Even to the eyes of someone with no professional knowledge, the telescopes clearly looked expensive.
“Wow, where did all this come from?”
Hanju said admiringly. He wanted to see them up close but couldn’t quite approach them. In contrast, Yumyeong walked right up, bent down, and brought his eye to the lens.
“Seriously. I didn’t know our school was this generous…… What? I can’t see anything?”
As he said this, he grabbed the body of the telescope and turned it this way and that to improve the blurry and opaque view. Then Hanju was horrified.
“Hey, don’t touch it carelessly!”
“What does it matter? We’re going to use it anyway.”
“We should at least learn how to use it…… Ah!”
The telescope nearly toppled over when it got caught on the legs of the two who were lightly bickering. Hanju gasped and was shocked on the spot, while on the other hand, Yumyeong nimbly caught the telescope with his hand.
“Could you stop making such a fuss? You startled me for nothing.”
Yumyeong stroked his chest and stood the telescope back up properly. Then the door opened and Hakyoung and Sunmin came in.
Hanju quickly distanced himself from the telescope, not wanting to be responsible for the commotion from just before. On the other hand, Yumyeong leisurely stood up and grinned at the sight of the two entering side by side. Having caught the meaning of that smile, the angle of Hakyoung’s eyebrows turned cold.
Please just stay still.
Reading that meaning, Yumyeong feigned ignorance and coughed.
Pretending not to notice that attitude, Hakyoung closed the door.
“Everyone’s here. Then let’s start right away.”
Hakyoung distributed the papers he had brought in his hand. It was a schedule for the first practical session since the Astronomy Club was formed.
Hanju, who received the paper, hesitated and raised his hand.
“Wait, are we all here? There’s still one more person……”
That was what Yumyeong couldn’t quite ask. There was one more person in the Astronomy Club. None other than Song Heeun.
At Hanju’s question, Hakyoung opened his mouth.
“I asked her at school earlier. Whether it would be okay since the first practical session is on Saturday. She always seems to go home on weekends.”
The relationship between the two was still awkward. Not just awkward, Yumyeong had long been treated like an invisible person. He wondered if she planned to avoid the place altogether if she couldn’t treat him like an invisible person while getting entangled in the club.
Although he had asked Hakyoung to let him join the club, he didn’t like that Heeun’s actions were restricted because of him.
“Ah, so she can’t come because she’s going home?”
“Yeah. She said she’ll do it together next time.”
As he said this, Hakyoung turned his eyes back to the schedule he had prepared. Everyone seemed to accept that explanation, but only Yumyeong couldn’t. He felt uncomfortable in one corner of his heart, thinking it might be because of him until the end.
“The location is……”
Hakyoung’s explanation continued, but Yumyeong couldn’t concentrate. Sitting backwards on the chair with his chin propped up, he listened with one ear and let it go out the other. Then, avoiding everyone’s eyes, he secretly sent Heeun a text.
[I want to talk to you. Can you spare some time later..]
[I’ll wait near the administrative office]
He hastily sent it before he could hesitate if he delayed, and shoved his phone into his pocket. Just then, his eyes met directly with Hakyoung’s. Yumyeong grinned to cover up his distraction.
His gaze, which had been thinking of other things again, settled on the telescope.
“……That’s it. Anyone have questions?”
“But the telescope, how much is that?”
Yumyeong asked suddenly. Although it was an unexpected question, Hakyoung didn’t act exasperated or anything and answered.
“The one you pointed to is about three million won.”
At Hakyoung’s words, the mouths of the other kids dropped open. In the middle of the silence, Yumyeong came to his senses and opened his mouth.
“Three million won? The school spends this much money on club support? They refuse to listen no matter how much I write in the ‘Voice of the Heart’ box about adding more vending machines.”
“You wrote that in the ‘Voice of the Heart’ box……?”
“Yeah, is that not allowed?”
“Try writing more constructive content.”
Where is there anything more beneficial to student welfare than vending machines? Yumyeong felt defiant.
“It’s enough if you just have a pretty face. Why do you have to answer so annoyingly like that?”
“What did you say?”
Hakyoung’s eyes narrowed. Yumyeong glared back, not backing down.
Realizing that the two were silently glaring at each other, Hanju stood up with an expression that said ‘there they go again.’
“Then all the announcements are done, right? I’m going now……”
Sunmin also looked back and forth between the two and quietly left the club room.
“I’m going too. See you later at the dorm.”
Soon the door slammed shut and only the two of them remained.
A suffocating silence flowed between Yumyeong and Hakyoung. Even until then, Yumyeong, who hadn’t blinked once, suddenly squinted his left eye and sent Hakyoung an intense wink.
“……!”
Hakyoung made an expression as if his hair was standing on end and quickly backed away. Yumyeong made a victory gesture and rejoiced, saying ‘I won!’
“What do you mean you won?”
“You closed your eyes first.”
“Winking isn’t closing your eyes?”
“That’s intentionally closing only one side, and you completely closed both.”
“Don’t be unreasonable. It’s a fact that you closed yours first.”
“Anyway, consider that I won.”
“I never even started!”
Yumyeong patted Hakyoung’s shoulder as if to encourage him in his frustration, then stood up from his seat. He stretched with cracking sounds, then tried to open the door and leave.
“Where are you going?”
“Hm? Ah……”
Yumyeong turned around as if grabbed by the scruff of the neck. The excuse was delayed because he didn’t expect him to be curious about where he was going.
“The dorm……”
“Let’s go together.”
“Ah, now that I think about it, I left something in the classroom.”
“Then let’s stop by together.”
“Ah, no. I’m going to stop by the bathroom.”
“Then I’ll also……”
Seeing Hakyoung get up from his seat, Yumyeong hastily stepped backward.
“It’s a big one so it’ll take a long time! You bastard…… Absolutely don’t follow me.”
And Yumyeong hurriedly fled the club room.
