Yuri, who would usually just glance and nod when someone entered, greeted him.
Ah, again. The feeling of finally being able to breathe.
It was a space where the scent of paper books and air freshener that couldn’t be felt anywhere else mixed with stillness. The dizziness he’d felt from Gentle Poison seemed to clear up completely.
When he turned his head, their eyes met as Yuri was looking in this direction. Chris felt his body stiffen as if he’d become prey caught in a bird of prey’s sight.
The feeling of meeting those violet eyes like violets was strange. As if he’d been caught in that gaze many times, tension climbed up his spine.
What if there were no glasses dividing the space between these gazes?
Instead of the frozen Chris, it was Yuri who smoothly moved past the situation.
“Have you finished reading the book I gave you last time?”
“Ah, that.”
Chris, who had left Dracula in his room as if fleeing, felt awkward.
What was left abandoned in his room wasn’t just Dracula. The five books he’d bought for a whopping three thousand Credits were being used as his footrest before being pushed aside by the piano chair to occupy a corner of the room. Should he be thankful that he’d at least placed Northanger Abbey and A Farewell to Arms on the nightstand beside the bed?
“I haven’t read all of them.”
“I see.”
Yuri’s violet eyes like violets slowly scanned Chris’s face. Perhaps because he’d taken off his glasses unlike his first visit, that gaze felt particularly intense.
“I’m not giving you homework, so you don’t need to shrink like that.”
The violet eyes not hidden by glasses felt sharper than usual. Chris gulped. He felt his throat was drier than usual.
“I’m not Chris-ssi’s teacher, am I?”
“Teacher.”
Chris, who laughed awkwardly and trailed off, turned his gaze toward the bookshelf. If Yuri had been his teacher, he would have become a very inferior student. Not because of the cunning intention of becoming a child who needed a lot of attention to receive the teacher’s gaze even once more, but because whenever Yuri was in the same space, his concentration kept scattering.
Just like now.
Chris randomly pulled out a book within arm’s reach and flipped through it. Between the pages infused with antique time, beautiful typeface was showing off its appearance, but not a single character entered his eyes.
At the sound of someone approaching, Chris stopped his hand.
“Did you like the Iliad? This one has a different publisher, so there’s some difference in editing too.”
Yuri, who had already come out from behind the counter, was standing behind him.
Of all the books placed there, why did he have to pick up the Iliad he’d bought on his first visit?
“It’s different, so I was curious.”
Chris tried to gloss over it, then swallowed a sigh and corrected himself.
“No. That’s a lie. I actually pulled it out without even looking at the title.”
He felt ashamed to face Yuri, who had even created an excuse for him. For some reason, whenever he stood before Yuri, he became clumsy and it was ridiculous.
Yuri, who usually just ended things by recommending books and checking out, seemed to be acting more friendly than usual today. Just the single action of approaching first and checking what book he was reading made him feel tingly enough that his toes curled in his shoes.
“Hmm.”
Yuri’s eyes quietly looked into Chris’s face. Just from taking off his glasses, as if peeling away one layer of his outer shell, his expressions touched the skin more than usual.
Those violet eyes were observing Chris now.
“You did that on your first day at the bookshop too. You said you didn’t come here because you particularly liked books.”
After a pause, Yuri asked the question Chris had been avoiding all along.
“Then why do you come here?”
He should say that as he’d said before, he liked the atmosphere here so he came often.
But strangely, those words got stuck in Chris’s throat and wouldn’t come out. No matter how much he urged them, it was the same.
“…To meet you.”
As if caught by some bad magic, Chris blurted out the words. Then he was startled and covered his mouth.
He wanted to bite his tongue hard.
The scent of Gentle Poison seemed to have covered all the shame he’d felt while secretly masturbating that night, but now that he actually laid eyes on him, the sensations from that time seemed to vividly come alive.
He finally realized he shouldn’t have come here when his physical condition was strange. He even thought that perhaps the impulse injected by that drug’s energy had sent him to Magnolia.
As he sneakily watched, thinking he’d made a serious mistake, Yuri’s expression was ambiguous.
A face he couldn’t gauge whether it was good or bad.
“You recommend so many good books, don’t you?”
Chris felt his mouth go dry. The time waiting for Yuri’s answer felt heavy. As if hanging an anchor used to secure thousand-ton ships on his shoulders, the longer the silence lasted instead of his words, the more he felt like sinking into the ground.
“…Because I run a bookshop.”
Yuri, who must have noticed he was impatiently trying to smooth things over, didn’t bother to catch and drag out his words.
Yuri quickly selected three books.
<I know why the caged bird sings>, <In cold blood>, <Little Women>
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, In Cold Blood, Little Women…
Chris’s gaze slid smoothly along those book titles.
“New recommendations.”
Since he couldn’t refuse Yuri’s recommendations, this was practically a hard sell.
However, the owner of this beautiful bookshop wouldn’t know Chris’s feelings at all, so this wasn’t his fault. It was Chris’s own mistake for being charmed by a civilian he met during a mission.
“Thank you as always.”
Chris muttered stiffly while slightly averting his gaze. He felt strangely dizzy.
Perhaps because he’d let his guard down a bit after coming to Magnolia, or because he’d nearly spilled his innermost thoughts to Yuri absurdly and barely held the reins, his body felt like it was melting.
There was no way he could show Yuri that his physical condition was a mess. Hadn’t he nearly shown his bottom once already because his composure had broken?
Chris asked while operating his terminal.
“The price is…”
“They’re not for sale.”
“Pardon?”
Yuri, who had gone behind the counter, briskly packed the books in a paper bag and handed it to Chris.
“Why would you give me this…?”
Hadn’t he just been caught not having read all the books he’d already received?
“Won’t you accept them?”
“There’s no reason to accept them.”
“I’m sure they’ll be helpful someday.”
In the end, Chris had no choice but to give in to Yuri’s insistence. With his hands now free, Yuri went to the back of the bookshop and came out with a coat draped over one arm. It was noticeable that his gloves had changed to black leather gloves.
He should express his gratitude, but because Yuri turned his body sharply, Chris, who had been staying in place, only came to his senses when he gestured toward the door with his chin.
“Let’s go out.”
Coming out from behind the counter while putting on his coat, Yuri carefully wrapped his scarf around himself before closing the bookshop door. Chris, holding the three books he’d given him, tried to read Yuri’s intentions.
However, whether because it was his first time dealing with someone who spoke little or because he vaguely thought of Yuri as difficult, it wasn’t easy to guess his thoughts.
“Follow me.”
Chris followed him like the children of Hamelin who had followed the Pied Piper as if enchanted. As if accustomed to someone following from behind, Yuri walked ahead without looking back at Chris. It was a different feeling from the shoeshine John he’d met in the 13th Ward.
The place where Yuri’s steps finally stopped was in front of a pharmacy.
Chris hadn’t even known there was a pharmacy in this alley. When he turned his head to Yuri with a look asking for an explanation, he opened his mouth.
“You’ve been sweating cold sweat since you entered the bookshop. People who were in other continents and first crossed over to the Winter Continent often don’t adapt well to the climate change and easily catch body aches.”
Though not gentle, it was a polite tone.
“It would be good to buy fever reducers and rest well.”
“Thank, you.”
Chris said haltingly while clutching Yuri’s second gift like a lifeline. Otherwise, he felt like he’d grab Yuri’s gloved hand.
Chris, who entered the pharmacy as told, bought a bottle of fever reducers that wouldn’t even work on his body. Savoring his grateful feelings and deciding he should suggest dinner to Yuri, Chris turned around to find Yuri had disappeared without a trace.
Yuri’s empty space felt desolate.
