Though he knew the other person was just following protocol, anger naturally welled up. This was instinctive rather than emotional. It was no different from snatching bread from a child who’d starved for ten days.
If he who felt more pain than joy each time he received Guiding was like this, other Espers would experience the limits of patience each time they went through this process.
Chris rummaged through his pocket looking for the clip. Though he found it in his inner pocket, because of his trembling hands, he almost dropped it once into the pocket and once onto the floor.
Chris, who caught it with ghost-like reflexes, showed the token to the gatekeeper. The other person silently stood up from their seat, called a colleague, and began guidance.
He seemed to walk down the same corridor about three times. After passing through the area with cognitive disruption like that, he arrived in front of a temporary Guiding room. The guide brought the token Chris had brought to the terminal in front, and could only open the door after manipulating the keypad several times.
Chris staggered inside.
With heightened nerves, even if he received support, uncontrollable senses would only run wilder. The guide was also an Esper and knew this well, so instead of touching Chris, he quickly withdrew from the Guiding room.
“Chris.”
Luca, who’d been summoned from the moment Chris arrived at the building, was in comfortable indoor clothing, as if he’d rushed over. Normally he would have greeted him with a smile, but at Chris’s appearance, paler than usual, Luca immediately grasped his hand and attempted Guiding.
At the nausea welling up from inside, Chris unconsciously covered his mouth, knelt before him, and bowed his head. The unpleasantness the Guiding gave was several times greater than usual.
Though the rain moistening parched earth should be sweet, it was only painful instead. His body twisted of its own accord at the Guiding that brought pain like fingers digging into cracked wounds.
He could feel his mental strength being depleted just by barely suppressing the rejection reaction.
“The Guiding…”
Luca let out a groan. He could feel the Guiding leaking profusely. Chris wasn’t receiving even half of the Guiding he was pouring out.
It felt like pouring water with a ladle into a bottle with a very narrow opening. Since he’d felt before that Chris didn’t accept Guiding well, he’d wondered about trying contact Guiding, but today was worse than that time.
Even with Espers who had poor matching rates, they didn’t leak Guiding to this degree. Because though Luca’s rank was low, his Guiding control was excellent, so the degree of energy loss was low.
‘No matter how efficiently you Guide, can’t the limitations from the rank difference be helped?’
“Chris-ssi, at this rate it won’t stabilize. I’ll hold your other hand too.”
As he reached out his hand simultaneously with his words, Chris reflexively swatted Luca’s hand away. Though the skin reddened slightly, Luca paid no heed and overlapped his hand on top of Chris’s.
“Sorry, no. Ugh…”
Chris panted. Fatigue and pain seemed to alternately drag his body down to the floor. Until he came to headquarters, his condition hadn’t been this serious, but from the moment he received Guiding, his body rapidly slackened. He felt like water-soaked cotton.
Chris’s nape, head bowed, was covered in cold sweat. He could feel his back heaving as he struggled to calm his body with deep breaths.
‘If Guiding drugs really exist, would they be less unpleasant than a guide’s Guiding?’
It was curiosity that momentarily entered Chris’s mind. He didn’t want to try drugs that would be managed in the mafia’s hands.
He just thought it wasn’t so strange that other Espers became addicted to drugs if they could escape this stabbing pain.
“It’s done…”
At the end of the time of endurance, he finally felt Chris’s energy waves, which had been jumping wildly, calming down. Luca, who slowly removed his hand while caressing over it with Guiding as if suturing, felt his body sway.
He’d never Guided to this extent at headquarters.
Just as his strength gave out and he was about to sit down backward, Chris, who’d noticed Luca’s abnormality, held his waist. As solid arms supported his falling body, Luca’s eyes widened slightly.
Since he deliberately only grasped over the clothes, Guiding didn’t proceed.
Luca found that plain attitude refreshing. If it were another Esper, they would have pretended to help while embracing him and acting sticky, but Chris truly helped him with only minimal contact before letting go.
Watching Chris politely pull back his body, Luca felt his heart tickle. Even when at headquarters, he’d often been drawn to this attitude.
“What if you use your ability until it becomes this dangerous?”
Luca, who’d regained his balance, spoke reproachfully. Though he kept his distance from other Espers, such words came out easily toward Chris.
After a moment of silence, Chris bowed his head.
“I’m sorry. This is my first time on a long-term mission and my first time using my ability, so I didn’t realize the danger level.”
He hid the fact that he’d been able to endure until coming here. An Esper whose body momentarily worsens when receiving Guiding—who would place such a person in an important position?
Chris wanted to rise to a position even higher than Yont. To an executive position where he could use Northern Light’s information network.
For Chris, who’d become a complete blank slate as if reborn on the day he awakened at Northern Light, though his past memories showed no signs of returning, only that desire vividly surfaced.
“I’ve barely managed to stabilize you, so don’t overdo it for the time being.”
“Yes, I’ll do that.”
In fact, Luca’s Guiding energy was in a state that could be called half-depleted. If he were a guide of a slightly higher rank, would he have matched with Chris? He was a bit disheartened by the same thought.
Since manifesting as a guide, Luca’s value existed only in Guiding. Only Northern Light protects him from that fearsome winter continent’s mafia. Inside the solid fence, the only thing required of him is Guiding, yet even that isn’t satisfactory with Chris, so Luca often felt anxious.
Coming on a long-term mission to the November Continent was an incident that was half fearful yet half relieving. He felt like he’d confirmed he was still a necessary existence to Northern Light. Though his body was exhausted from dealing with several high-rank Espers, since there were no particular side effects to Guiding, complaining about fatigue was just the grumbling of someone with a full belly.
A Guide who doesn’t receive Guiding on time suffers from energy imbalance like Chris before his eyes, then goes into Rampage, and eventually dies, doesn’t he? Compared to that, his own physical fatigue wasn’t particularly important.
“You look very tired.”
At Chris’s words, Luca paused for a moment before answering.
“When there’s a grade difference, Guiding is usually difficult.”
In fact, Chris’s Guiding was more difficult than when he stabilized Team Crow’s leader, A-rank Esper Yont Günter.
Chris’s grade itself was lower than Yont’s, so it wasn’t a common occurrence. Still, rather than feeling puzzled, Luca judged that Chris’s condition was very poor today, which must have increased his Guiding requirements.
“Five of Team Crow’s nine members are higher rank than Luca… Aren’t you pushing yourself too hard?”
“You know. Compared to Espers, Guides are fewer in number. Besides, it’s hard to protect multiple Guides within the mafia’s sphere of influence on the Winter Continent.”
Luca shrugged his shoulders and added.
“Anyway, there are no particular side effects other than temporary fatigue after Guiding. Espers who use their abilities for everyone suffer in pain and it leads to Rampage. I’ll be fine soon.”
Words advocating for the Espers’ position flowed smoothly from the Guide’s mouth. Luca seemed quite sincere.
Like a grain of sand that had slipped into a shoe, something felt irritating. The more Chris mulled over Luca’s words, the more the current sense of dissonance prevented him from saying anything more, and he bowed his head.
“I’ll be going now.”
“It wasn’t full Guiding, will you be alright?”
Luca asked Chris, seeming unable to let it go.
Chris narrowed his eyes. One cannot visually confirm Guiding energy. However, looking at Luca’s face that had become haggard in just a short while, it wasn’t difficult to guess that he had reached his limit.
“I’m fine.”
Though his speech was gentle, his tone was firm.
In the end, Luca had no choice but to back down. He looked at Chris with calm, settled eyes but didn’t hold him back any further.
Luca also knew that two Espers from Team Crow had gone missing. When other Espers were risking their lives, could there be anything more miserable than feeling keenly aware of being an incompetent Guide?
Chris, who had no way of knowing the inner thoughts Luca chewed and swallowed, left the Guiding room with an expressionless face. He operated his terminal to submit a report to Yont and applied for a shell casing examination.
“Chris-ssi, you need to take your documents with you.”
“They were issued on time.”
Before leaving the company, he was able to get a hospitalization certificate from an employee who stopped him. It was content stating that Chris’s fake father was hospitalized and needed a caregiver. Tomorrow he planned to go to the Reeducation Center to submit a dormitory withdrawal application and convey the circumstances that made him unable to attend all the lectures.
As long as he didn’t quit completely, entry to the Reeducation Center was free, and if there were such special circumstances, the range for selecting schedules was quite flexible.
If he couldn’t attend classes properly and failed the exam, they wouldn’t give him a completion certificate, but it didn’t matter since Chris’s purpose was information from inside the Reeducation Center while being affiliated with it, not the skills anyway.
Chris, who had returned to District 8 by Tram, hesitated the moment he opened the apartment door. A fairly large advertisement flyer had fallen.
‘Oh no.’
