“Next time, find a different way to address me.”
“A different way to address you……”
“I’m going.”
With that brief farewell, there was nothing left to linger for — he turned his back and walked away. Yi-won stood there, watching Woo-hyuk’s retreating figure. Until he shrank to a dot and disappeared into the darkness, Yi-won couldn’t bring himself to step back inside.
Come to think of it. Yi-won hadn’t managed to learn anything about Choi Woo-hyuk at all. He’d done nothing but ramble endlessly about himself — he couldn’t exactly call them close.
“But how did he know my name……”
I want to know too. His name. Yi-won let out a long sigh before finally stepping inside.
2
After that, Yi-won dreamed of Choi Woo-hyuk often. Nothing grand. Short and mild, like an ordinary page out of everyday life.
Sometimes the dreams took the shape of that night walk. Other times, they were floating on a small boat in the middle of the Eunryu River, sitting face to face.
The time spent with Choi Woo-hyuk in his dreams spanned all four seasons in no particular order. No distinction between day and night. They’d walk along a path in a warm, gentle breeze, then suddenly be caught in heavy snow falling as if to drain all color from the world.
Yi-won embraced Choi Woo-hyuk freely. Like lovers of old. When Yi-won spread his arms and ran toward him, Woo-hyuk would open his broad arms as if he’d been waiting. They pressed their cheeks together, intertwined their fingers. They were so thoroughly at ease with each other it almost felt like too much.
Even in dreams, Choi Woo-hyuk carried that faint smell of cigarettes. A smell that shouldn’t be pleasant — and yet Yi-won couldn’t help but love it more than any perfume.
It was nothing more than his unconscious mind on auto-play, and yet Yi-won always woke from those dreams in a good mood. More often than not, rather than feeling hollow when he opened his eyes to face reality, he’d linger in the afterglow and smile to himself.
“Heh.”
Today was no different. In the dream, he and Woo-hyuk had ridden bicycles side by side beneath a shower of cherry blossoms in full bloom. Woo-hyuk, riding ahead, kept glancing back to check that Yi-won was keeping up.
“Be careful. Take it slow.”
Every time their eyes met, Yi-won would look away in embarrassment. Then, after a moment, longing would make him lift his gaze again — and each time, a soft smile rested at the corner of Woo-hyuk’s lips.
Pedaling along a dirt path — and then Yi-won woke. Bundled beneath a blanket pulled all the way up to his chin, he wiggled his bare toes. In the dark of his room late at night, he gave a small sniffle. He cupped his puffy face in both hands and grinned to himself. The warmth already in his cheeks deepened by another layer of heat.
“……I must be losing my mind.”
It was strange, but he didn’t dislike it. No — if anything, he had to say he liked it. His heart was pounding.
“I really am losing it……”
He lay there staring blankly up at the dark ceiling, then placed a hand over his chest on top of the blanket. Thump, thump. It was beating so hard the soft blanket trembled with it. Was it okay to feel this flutter for someone whose name he didn’t know, whose age he didn’t know, whose address he didn’t know — someone he knew absolutely nothing about?
Yi-won hadn’t run into Choi Woo-hyuk since that day. He’d wandered the island at all hours, but couldn’t find even a trace of him. Had he really left for good now. He could’ve at least said goodbye. That lingering regret had latched onto his ankles — maybe that was why Yi-won had been chasing after him in his dreams too, without even realizing it.
“Next time, find a different way to address me.”
It was probably just an empty thing to say.
More than two weeks had already passed. In the span of half a month, the first snow had fallen on Cheongun Island too. Along with the fickle first snow that melted before it could even touch your palm, Yi-won — who had belonged to no one and nowhere — was finally given a place.
He got up from bed and switched on the fluorescent light. It had been a continuous blur of days and nights, but now he was only starting to prepare for the day as late night settled in.
There had always been discontent about Yi-won having no designated role, but the voices erupting here and there were growing louder. More and more people were looking at Yi-won’s special treatment with resentment. They attacked Shin Mi-sun for sheltering him, saying there were limits to how much leeway could be given. Shin Mi-sun’s protective walls were slowly crumbling.
Yi-won, who had been quietly bracing himself for something like this, had privately hoped to be placed under Wol-hwa Jeong alongside Shin Mi-sun. But the position that actually landed in front of him was at “Blue Moment” — an entertainment bar on the island.
Even among the various facilities, Blue Moment was notorious for being a place where incidents and accidents never ceased. It was typically the spot for island guests’ after-party drinking, which meant every hour was a succession of danger. Like the countless glasses that shattered every single day, there was no mercy in the behavior of its customers.
Yi-won began getting ready for work, splashing his face with water that felt cold despite being lukewarm. The flushed cheeks that had been rosy from the lingering haze of his dream were slowly returning to their natural color.
“Yi-won. Clear this up!”
“Yes.”
Rows of boxes packed full of empty liquor bottles were piled up waiting for him. He gripped them with both hands and heaved — they were heavier than expected, and his bent back refused to straighten.
He pushed through the biting wind that threatened to cut off his breath and moved the boxes outside. As Yi-won went back and forth between indoors and out without so much as a jacket, the sound of footsteps came up behind him. Face completely impassive, carrying a box — it was Im Seok-ju, a coworker.
“Hyung?”
“When do you think you’re going to finish at that rate.”
He was the one who had approached Yi-won first, even though adapting to a new environment wasn’t easy, no matter how familiar Cheongun Island might be for Yi-won. He was also a secretive person — the only thing known about him was that he was approaching thirty.
“Hey. Stop getting in the way and go back inside.”
Im Seok-ju set the box down with a thud and lightly pushed Yi-won — who was just standing there dazed — backward by the arm. He was always stone-faced and blunt with his words, but his actions were nothing short of gentle.
“I’ll handle this, so go inside. If you catch a cold and end up moping around, it’ll be a nuisance for everyone.”
“Hyung, I’ll do it. You didn’t wear a jacket either. It’s cold — you’re probably busy inside too, so go on back in.”
“I’m saying this because it’s painful to watch how slow you are, so get out of here. If we end up bickering and running late, it’s a loss for both of us.”
“Then let’s just do it together……”
“Ugh, come on.”
You’re going to freeze to death out here, so just get your ass inside already. As if waiting for Yi-won to go in, Im Seok-ju casually lit a cigarette on top of everything. A stream of white smoke — impossible to tell from breath vapor — kept flowing out without stop.
Unable to win against Im Seok-ju, Yi-won stepped back inside with a sheepish expression. Maybe because he’d just been hit by the outside air, the warmth mixed with a strong wave of pheromone scents hit him sharply. His sense of smell would dull before long, but as time passed and the night grew deeper, that scent would only sharpen to something almost piercing.
He went looking for the bathroom to wash the dust from his hands. Two people standing at the sink had been dabbing their faces dry with face towels when they stopped and looked at Yi-won. The twin gazes reflected in the mirror snagged on him uncomfortably. Yi-won suppressed any reaction as best he could and turned on the tap. The rush of water was the only sound filling the quiet bathroom.
Whether they’d been crying, both had red-rimmed eyes. From the way they sniffled and wiped at their damp mouths, a faint undercurrent of nausea hung about them. Just as Yi-won was about to part his lips to ask if they needed any help —
“The hell are you looking at. Mind your own fucking business. Think it’s funny?”
The other person spat the words out like a sneer. Simultaneously, both of them twisted their expressions at Yi-won. They were two who, worn down by the grueling work, had taken an unusual disliking to Yi-won.
“So what if he was born on this island. How does that make him any different from the rest of us here. If he’s so different, he should leave the island. Not be sticking around.”
“Whether it’s his parents, grandparents, relatives — whatever. Shit, either way, wasn’t he brought here by SJ people as a substitute for someone? Why does he alone get special treatment? What’s so special about him? They say the owner came — isn’t he scared it’ll reach that person’s ears?”
“It’s been a while since Jeong Yi-won turned legal age. If you think I’m wrong, go to the SJ side and argue that he should be removed from this island. They say he’s at Unsol-chae.”
Those barbed words had ultimately driven Yi-won to this place.
“Hey. By the way. Are you still just going to do serving?”
“……Pardon?”
“Before you came here, all you did was clean like your life depended on it, and now you’re just doing serving. Must be nice, having it easy. Lucky you. I’d like to do the same as you, just taking it easy all by yourself.”
A resentful gaze and a razor-sharp tone. It cut right through Yi-won’s gentle heart without effort.
“Why do you alone get to feel protected? You’re not a minor anymore.”
“……”
“Do you genuinely believe this place has servers and entertainers split into separate roles? For real?”
With every step the other person took closer, Yi-won’s feet took a step back.
