“So then your hyung is in Korea, and only you came to study abroad?”
“My hyung is also in America. He’s somewhere other than Chicago though.”
I deliberately didn’t mention that he was in New York.
“Why did you come to America?”
“……Because my mom told me to? Isn’t it the same for everyone, isn’t it for you too?”
“I said I wanted to go myself.”
“……You had big dreams from a young age.”
This time I was the first to hold out my glass. Whether it was because Kang Sehyun’s hands were too big or the glass was too small, the clinking glasses looked so tiny. They say when you drink alcohol, you gradually get drunk and feel good when things start spinning around, but I hadn’t experienced that yet.
“And what else?”
“The reason you came all the way to Chicago. If it’s about school, there are plenty of similar universities in New York too. I haven’t seen anyone who deliberately came from New York to Chicago.”
“Just because I was bored.”
“In what way?”
“Since I went to America, I’ve only been in New York. One day everything suddenly became tedious. The places I frequently went to, the people I frequently met, everything.”
“That’s also unexpected.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t think you’d care about that kind of thing. I thought you’d prefer a stable life over new things.”
See? I’m reading you accurately.
“So, what’s Chicago like? Do you like it?”
“……It seems similar.”
At those words, a smile bloomed at the corners of the other person’s mouth.
“Then when you get bored here too, where will you go next?”
“……Well. I’ll have to see when the time comes.”
“You don’t say Korea. Are you planning to stay in America even after graduation?”
“I’m not sure about that either.”
When I got up from my seat to smoke, Kang Sehyun followed. When I opened the back door of the shop that led outside, there was an ashtray prepared in the back.
When the cold air touched me, rather than being cold, the slight coolness felt pleasant. Only then could I tell that my face had heated up.
Whether under the yellow lighting inside the shop or under the white streetlights, Kang Sehyun’s face remained the same. By now my face must be red. He didn’t seem like someone who had drunk the same amount of alcohol as me.
“If I pass out, don’t leave me on the street, put me in a nearby motel.”
“Are you drunk?”
“No. Not right now, but I thought it might happen.”
“As if I’d abandon you.”
“Because it’s you, I thought you might.”
I said that, but I knew well that he wouldn’t do that. When he’d even spent money to send someone he disliked home in a taxi in the middle of the night, it didn’t seem like he’d just leave me. Kang Sehyun was at least someone who knew how to take responsibility for the end of being with someone.
We returned to our seats and immediately drank another glass. With that as the last, the bottle hit the bottom. I shook the empty bottle toward the other person and asked.
“What should we do, order another bottle?”
“The same one? If it’s okay with you, let’s do that.”
I briefly considered switching to something with a lower alcohol content, but thinking it would hurt more tomorrow instead, I ordered soju again. Not long after, the returning staff member put down soju with the same label and left.
“Is that all you’re curious about me?”
“No way. Didn’t you hear me a moment ago? I said ‘and what else.'”
“Does your girlfriend know you’re a guy who’s this obsessed?”
“Haha.”
Kang Sehyun laughed much more than at first. Especially, he laughed more often when he was alone with me than when he was with the hyungs all together. And each time that happened, I thought the same thing every time inside. Damn, he’s really handsome. Today too, I stared at his mouth corners drawing graceful lines as if entranced and thought that.
“I’ve probably met you more than my girlfriend over these few months.”
“That’s because it’s a long-distance relationship.”
“Even if it’s long-distance, I saw her every week. Still, the time I spent with you is probably longer.”
“I’ll acknowledge that.”
And yet we’d never sat down and had a conversation like this. Every time we were together under the excuse of studying, but it’s not like there was no time to talk at all.
If I had to describe our relationship, it was too close to just call it acquaintances, but somehow uncomfortable to call friends—that kind of ambiguous relationship. And Kang Sehyun had helped me every time, even though we weren’t that close.
“Half of my grades are thanks to you, Kang Sehyun.”
I filled the emptied glass and held out my glass first. When I said thank you once more, Kang Sehyun stared at me intently.
“It’s all a debt, that.”
Laughter was tinged in his indifferent voice.
After that, as we continued to talk about this and that, I thought we knew quite a bit, but there was more we didn’t know. Among the things I didn’t know, there were some things so trivial it was hard to understand.
“We didn’t even know things like this about each other.”
“I told you. You had no interest in me.”
“It’s not just me, you didn’t either.”
“Don’t treat me the same. Even today, if I hadn’t asked to meet, you wouldn’t have contacted me first.”
“……”
“You have nothing to say, right?”
“……Yeah.”
I thought I was pretty good at arguing, but today I just couldn’t win.
Before I knew it, over an hour had passed since we met. The newly opened bottle quickly decreased and seemed like it would soon show the bottom. Around the time I thought I could hold my liquor better than expected, I felt sleepy even though I didn’t seem drunk at all. My eyelids gradually grew heavier.
It’s only eleven o’clock, how strange.
“I think I’m drunk.”
“Seems so.”
Around the middle, thinking the cold air might help, I went outside, but smoking made me feel even more drunk. Still, I held on and kept my wits about me until the end.
Even as I worried about what if I had a strange drinking habit of saying useless things or picking fights, Kang Sehyun filled the next glass. The person in front of me looked annoyingly fine. His face wasn’t red like mine, and his eyes weren’t half-closed either.
“Kang Sehyun.”
“Yeah.”
“Why don’t you have friends?”
You’re good-looking, rich, and can hold your liquor well. If you wanted to, you could make a hundred friends, so why do you hang out alone?
“Is it because you throw tantrums sometimes?”
“……Ha.”
The corner of Kang Sehyun’s mouth rose crookedly after hearing my words. Whether it was because of the alcohol, his face crumpling as if dumbfounded looked exceptionally more handsome.
“Why on earth do you hang out alone?”
“Who says that?”
“The hyungs.”
“These days I hang out with you.”
“Ah…… That’s true.”
Then am I your friend?
I was about to ask the most important question, but for some reason the words only circled around in my mouth. Ah, I’ve hit my limit. There were three empty bottles on the table.
“Sleepy?”
It’s not that I’m sleepy, I think I’m drunk. I think I need to go home now.
I don’t know if I properly said what I was thinking, but Kang Sehyun got up and stood me up as I sat there in a daze. Just how expensive is the cologne he wears for the scent to be this nice?
“Let’s go.”
At the words “let’s go,” I followed behind Kang Sehyun with shuffling steps. And I got into some car of unknown identity standing in front of the shop and fell fast asleep.
* * *
I opened my eyes to a continuous vibrating sound.
When I reached my hand toward where the sound was coming from, a hard plastic case touched my fingertips.
What time is it?
I barely lifted my heavy eyelids.
「11:17 AM」
One second after thinking I’d missed breakfast time, I snapped awake. The soft and cozy bedding wasn’t what I saw every day.
A king-size bed covered with pure white sheets and an expensive carpet laid beneath it—when I raised my head following its edge, beyond floor-to-ceiling glass windows open on both sides, a 180-degree view of the Han River unfolded.
Even though I’d said it yesterday, I’d doubted whether Kang Sehyun would really go to a place like a motel, and indeed it wasn’t a motel. The place I woke up in was a hotel.
Still, even so, a suite room with a separate living room was too nice a room for just resting briefly while drunk. How much would a room like this cost per night? I gave up calculating midway through.
Since my last memory was around 11:30, I’d slept quite a lot. Thanks to that, for a first experience with alcohol, it was better than expected. I still felt a bit dazed and slightly hungry, but there didn’t seem to be a headache. However, the smell of alcohol vibrated from my whole body enough to think I could get drunk again just from the smell alone.
“Haah……”
Even though my memories were spotty, I remembered almost everything up until getting in the car. Taking money out of my wallet at the end, leaving the bar with Kang Sehyun. But for some reason, I had no memory from getting in the car. After that, I fell asleep and all my memories flew away.
Who drove me? I’m sure it wasn’t a taxi.
I remember someone bringing a car in front of the shop, but I couldn’t remember exactly if it was a taxi either.
Suppressing my desire to go into the bathroom right away, I opened my phone screen. There was a message from my mom asking when I’d come in and two missed calls. First, I sent a reply to my mom saying I’d be there within an hour or two, then contacted Kang Sehyun.
I should just send it like usual, but after thinking for a long time about what to write, I tapped the screen.
Me: [Thanks to you I’m living in luxury]
The reply arrived quickly.
Kang Sehyun: [Do you like it?]
Me: [I do like it but]
Me: [I feel like the debt increased more while trying to repay it]
When I said that doing this seemed meaningless for buying him drinks, the other person just laughed.
Kang Sehyun: [Your stomach?]
Me: [Fortunately it’s okay]
Me: [When did you leave?]
Kang Sehyun: [Right after bringing you]
Kang Sehyun: [Had to go to work]
Beyond gratitude, I felt unnecessarily sorry. Even though the other person was the one who first suggested drinking, either way it seemed I’d made him suffer at the end because of me, so I felt uncomfortable.
When I sent a message with those contents, this time too the reply came within seconds.
Kang Sehyun: [It was fun]
Kang Sehyun: [It was my first time drinking with a friend too]
More than the important message that it was fun, I couldn’t take my eyes off the two characters for “friend.”
Ah, so we really are friends after all.
At the same time I felt certain, it felt like we’d only now become close.
