Interest
Kang Sehyun
I hate troublesome human relationships.
I detested things like forcing myself to please someone or reading the room. I thought caring about trivial matters and paying attention to petty things was truly a waste of emotions. I didn’t have enough time to do what I wanted to do, so I didn’t want to waste time being entangled in useless human relationships.
From birth until now, I had lived that way.
A company anyone would recognize if they heard about it. A large corporation with so many affiliates that people worried about which one to assign even before I was born. For me, born into such a family, the human relationships permitted to me from childhood were divided into only two categories.
- People connected through the family
- People connected through the family business
There were no relationships I created myself. Whether at academies or schools, wherever I went, there were only people somehow connected to our family.
So it was rather easy. I could gain favor just by being appropriately polite to others, and I could maintain a certain distance by showing appropriate kindness.
There was no need to create useless connections. Maintaining the only permitted human relationships well was the best I could do.
But there was just one exception.
“Oh, Kang Sehyun—”
“As expected, you came early. Did you order?”
“Not yet.”
As if it was hot outside, everyone came into the restaurant fanning themselves with their hands. Kihyun hyung, who was particularly sensitive to heat, practically melted into his chair.
“Just order first.”
“The person who wants to eat should order.”
“This bastard will eat anything. Let’s just order what we always eat.”
“Uh, uh. Right. Anything’s fine.”
Kihyun hyung, who had been half-looking at the menu, nodded his head roughly. Soon a staff member approached and took our order, and in the meantime, perhaps the heat had subsided a bit, he came back to his senses and started talking excitedly. Since it hadn’t been long since the semester started, most of it was about school.
“Sehyun, how about you? Have you made any friends?”
Among us who hung out often, I was the only one attending a different university. The hyungs worried I might go around alone without friends, but for me, university was just a place to get a degree and there was no other reason to attend, so there was no need to make friends. And the hyungs knew this personality of mine well.
I didn’t want to answer every question when they already knew the answer. When I stayed quiet without saying anything, they moved on to the next question on their own.
“Then how are your classes?”
“Yeah. The professors are decent and the classes are tolerable.”
“Lucky you, I’m so fucking envious. I’m the only one here who failed course registration.”
Kihyun hyung was the only one who failed to get more than half of the classes he wanted this semester.
“Keke, idiot.”
“What the fuck. You failed last year too. I’m better than you.”
“No, you’re not?”
“Shut up. You’re both the same.”
People who got worked up and bickered even over small things. Surprisingly, these hyungs who were the complete opposite of me were the only relationships I created and maintained myself.
Seo Gihyun, Park Junsung, Jang Gijae, Im Jungwoo.
The meeting was simple. The hyungs approached me first when I was going around alone not long after studying abroad.
‘So you’re the really handsome guy who came.’
If it had been annoying even once, I would have cut them off immediately, but strangely, none of them bothered me. They didn’t force me to do anything just because they were hyungs, and even when we were together, they didn’t force their activities on me. Being with them was comfortable because I could just be myself. The connection that started that way remained as the only relationship I had now.
“You know that class I said I screwed up?”
Even though the food came out, the topic of conversation continued to be about university. Kihyun hyung, who had been singing all day about wanting Chicago pizza, had claimed the biggest slice but couldn’t eat it because he was talking.
“What class, you screwed up more than one or two.”
“Fuck, you know, that basic class. The professor’s class we absolutely shouldn’t get stuck with.”
“Ah— that, the rumored professor?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“What about it?”
“I met a Korean kid there, and he has a pretty good personality.”
Here we go again.
As if I wasn’t the only one thinking that, the same words were heard simultaneously from here and there.
“Anyway, Seo Gihyun always says everyone’s good.”
“How long has the semester been going? You’ve met a few times and you like him?”
“As long as they smoke cigarettes with you, everyone’s good to you.”
Among them, Kihyun hyung liked people the most. So he met someone casually and gave affection easily, which meant whenever he got to know someone, he tried to introduce them to us.
Of course, I was always last among us. Kihyun hyung, who knew all too well that I was the complete opposite of him, always introduced people to the other hyungs first and after getting verification that they were okay, he would introduce them to me too, but so far, only one person had succeeded that way—only Jason hyung.
Jungwoo hyung always said that even though Seo Gihyun seemed a bit lacking, he was good at judging people, but I still didn’t quite understand that.
“No. The kid’s really fine. He’s polite and kind of mature.”
“Oh, mature? Everyone looks mature to you, you little punk.”
“Ah, fuck, I’m serious. Like… he’s not the type who talks a lot, but how should I say it, what he says is really…”
“Really what.”
“Um… really… proper? His personality is proper, his face is proper, everything’s proper?”
“What is that, keke.”
Everyone laughed. I also laughed inwardly. Kihyun hyung felt wronged by that again.
“Anyway, I told him to come to the dorm once. He said he doesn’t know a single person since he just came from New York.”
“Ah, then he just came in? Transfer?”
“No, freshman.”
“Oh.”
“Then he’s the same age as Sehyun.”
Whether he was the same age or not had nothing to do with me. I wasn’t interested at all. Anyway, whoever he brought, it would end with just one meeting again, I just prayed that nothing would go wrong by touching my hidden temper.
And a week later.
An unfamiliar name started appearing frequently.
Park Junsung: [I saw Sungha today]
Jang Gijae: [I saw him yesterday]
Jang Gijae: [When I asked if he wanted to come sometime he said to call him]
Jang Gijae: [Seo Gihyun what are you doing]
Seo Gihyun: [I told him to come but he said Thursday doesn’t work]
Seo Gihyun: [His house is far so I feel fucking bad calling himㅠ]
Im Jungwoo: [Call him another day on the weekend]
He wasn’t someone mentioned in particularly important topics, but during the time we were together, his name was definitely heard three or four times. In just a few weeks, even the other hyungs had all become close and seemed to eat lunch together almost every day.
My interest, which had been at zero, went up a tiny bit. But that didn’t mean I was completely favorable. There had been many people before that the hyungs all agreed to meet, and that interest disappeared the moment we met.
I knew well that expectations for someone ultimately only turn into disappointment.
* * *
“Hey, Sehyun. About us gathering this Saturday.”
We gathered at my house on weekends almost once every two weeks. We occasionally met outside, but in the end, going to where I lived was routine.
This week was the same. But Kihyun hyung, who had been playing games until just now, suddenly brought it up.
“Would it be okay if I brought one more person?”
Since the gathering place was my house, he asked for my consent whenever he brought someone, but after the incident last time, he hadn’t asked for a while. That incident when some crazy bastard the hyungs brought got drunk and caused a scene had been quite troublesome for the hyungs too.
It was a bit curious that Kihyun hyung, who had been the most cautious since then, was asking so carefully like this. Who exactly was he trying to bring?
“Who?”
“Sungha.”
Again. That name.
“Oh, Sungha will be fine. Sehyun.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely not a kid who’ll cause trouble.”
“He’s really a good kid, so trust us this once.”
I hadn’t given any answer yet, but as soon as those two syllables “Sungha” came out, even the other hyungs next to me joined in and persuaded me.
“But is Sungha available this week?”
“I don’t know. I have to ask.”
They even looked strangely excited when the person himself hadn’t even said he was coming yet.
Why exactly?
Until now, there hadn’t been anyone the hyungs showed this much favor toward. Even when they first introduced Jason hyung, although they said there was a really funny kid who could only speak English, they didn’t say it in a way that suggested I absolutely had to meet him. But even Jungwoo hyung, who wasn’t like me but subtly kept his distance from people, patted my shoulder and said,
“Seo Gihyun really saw right this time. You don’t have any friends your age. I think it’d be good if you became friends.”
Friends.
I laughed at the words that were too unfamiliar.
Friends, what.
* * *
“Sehyun, say hello. This is the Sungha we talked about. Kwon Sungha. You know he’s the same age as you?”
It was finally the day to be introduced to the friend only I didn’t know.
The person who had been looking at me with wide eyes hid his surprised expression before long and smiled. His smiling face entered my eyes so clearly.
If there was such a thing as a ‘proper face’ as Kihyun hyung said, this would be such a face.
It was a face hard to forget once you saw it. That’s why I remembered. Although it was someone I’d seen very briefly a few months ago, he remained clearly in my memory.
Was that why? Surprisingly, the moment I faced Kwon Sungha’s face, the interest I’d expected to disappear upon meeting him instantly rose.
For the first time, I became interested in someone.
What kind of person are you, with such a proper face?
