Sponsor.
It was a word that made my teeth grind. If I had to pick one reason that pushed my life into an abyss, it would undoubtedly be this. Because I didn’t become the ornament of some high-ranking person who said they wanted to have me. Because I held out saying there were things I wouldn’t sell no matter how much money was offered.
“Wouldn’t that be enough? It’s common for chaebols to spend hundreds of millions on the celebrities they sponsor.”
Actually, it wasn’t enough. Seo Nakil wasn’t just a simple chaebol. A celebrity sponsoring a celebrity. Even though the entertainment industry was a place where all sorts of things happened, I’d never even heard of a case like this.
But I couldn’t say anything. I just stiffened as if struck in a vital spot. Very pathetically and frustratingly so.
“Don’t ask beyond that. Even if I tell you, you won’t be able to understand anyway.”
Was a sweet lie on the tip of the tongue better than a truth that couldn’t be swallowed?
Though bewildering, his words made sense. As I was now, I couldn’t understand him, and even if he tried to explain more, it didn’t seem like it would change. All the choices he made for me seemed irrational and impulsive.
“Since I said it, I’ll handle the expense processing myself. If it’s hard to accept… well, it’s fine to think you just picked it up on the street. Or that you won a lottery ticket you scratched for fun.”
“That’s too absurd.”
“What can we do? That’s how the world is. Incomprehensible things happen, and thus absurd things too.”
Seo Nakil, acting as if he’d given up on my understanding, somehow felt a bit cold.
“What I said about Revalue Entertainment handling things exclusively isn’t empty words either. I brought it up first, but the CEO’s opinion is the same. They seem to want to meet you. They’re willing to match whatever format you want, whether it’s a transfer or casting.”
I answered as if squeezing my throat.
“I don’t really know what to do.”
“I know you must be confused in many ways. I’ll give you plenty of time to think.”
“…”
“Until then, all the benefits I provide will be free. They’re things I’m doing for my own satisfaction anyway. I’m just giving them to you of my own accord, so if you don’t want them you can just throw them away, but… I’ll have to hope you’re wise enough to take what’s practical.”
Seo Nakil, who had organized the situation with cool composure, opened the passenger door. Meaning I should get in.
But I didn’t obediently get in as he said.
“I don’t want to.”
“Han Ijae-ssi.”
I stepped back out of his reach.
“If I follow you like this, I’ll do everything Seo Nakil-ssi wants.”
I’d part with my agency as you direct, pack my things, move into your house. I’d sign a new contract with the agency you’re affiliated with and live the way you recommend.
As desperate as my circumstances were, I’d be desperate for that favor, and as I got involved like that, I’d gradually forget how to get out.
In the end, that too would become sponsorship.
“Later…”
I stepped back one more step. He tried to catch me as I swayed, but withdrew his outstretched hand as if worried I’d move farther away.
“I’ll contact you later.”
At those words, Seo Nakil’s brow furrowed.
“You really won’t get in.”
“…Yes.”
“Even though you’re not going to the dorm in that state?”
“Doesn’t it not matter? Wherever I go.”
“Why wouldn’t it matter?”
A voice without inflection wrapped around my ears then scattered.
“If you won’t get in, what’s the point of all this?”
It was a strange thing to say. As if he wouldn’t have even bought this car if not for me. Even though it looked brand new without a single scratch, there was no way he got it because of me.
I ran away from that spot. Even knowing it was cowardly and disgraceful, I couldn’t help it.
“…”
I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t go to the dorm where Kwon Seonho would be, nor could I return to Seo Nakil who’d left me with words about thinking of it as sponsorship. I couldn’t even imagine going to my worried mother.
I went into the nearest convenience store and checked what money remained in my account. Still, there was a bit of money left that I’d received after my Starium debut was confirmed.
“I’m thinking of staying for about two to three days, how much would the room cost? I’ll be staying alone so it’s okay if it’s a bit cramped.”
The room I was shown only after shaking out all my cash was cramped and musty. It was even more comparable because the place I’d stayed until just before was a magnificent VIP hospital room.
But what could I do? Actually, if I had to find what was more natural and normal for me, this would be closer to the right answer between the two.
“What do I do now?”
I knew. In truth, I’d only caused trouble without solving anything. The problems laid before me were piled up like a mountain, so high I couldn’t even see where the peak was anymore.
With the mindset of doing things in order, I’d requested to suspend activities. If that was accepted, and if I somehow succeeded in terminating the contract… a future that the me who drowned to death hadn’t seen might arrive.
But what would change?
I still didn’t know the future. The weight of life pressed down on my breathing, and I didn’t know where to go or how far to go.
“…I didn’t really want to endure this.”
I was sick of it all. Far from trying hard, I was disgusted even with enduring. They were things that would be over anyway if I let them go.
I curled my body into a ball and buried my face in the thin blanket.
Living was still overwhelming and suffocating.
I don’t know how time passed.
I survived without dying and crossed over to the next day. After sitting blankly for a long time in the disappointment that morning brought, I got up pretending to be defeated by the vacuum cleaner noise coming from the next room.
When I checked my phone while drying my hair with a wet towel, my phone that I’d switched to silent mode had countless missed call records piled up. So many contacts had come while I slept that the battery was barely hanging on.
The moment I connected the charger, the screen flashed brightly.
[Cosmos CEO-nim]
It was a name that occupied 80% of the tediously continuing missed calls. Probably if I answered the phone, I’d hear similar words to yesterday. Though at least he couldn’t throw an ashtray, so if it was fortunate, it was fortunate.
After hesitating briefly, I decided to answer the phone. I couldn’t avoid it forever anyway.
After pressing a few buttons with trembling hands and bringing the phone to my ear.
—You finally answered. Hello? Is this Ijae?
The CEO’s voice was different from usual. Much higher and cheerful. It even seemed to sound kind.
Flustered, I briefly moved the phone away from my ear. Then I examined the palely glowing screen again.
‘…It is the CEO.’
The warmth that had never been my share was rather frightening. Having lost words to react with, I moved my mouth. If he hadn’t called my name, I might have said it seemed like a wrong number.
But that bright voice broke my silence.
—Hey man, are you still sulking because the CEO scolded you a bit yesterday?
“…”
—Tsk. Things haven’t been going well lately, that’s why. You don’t think I said those things wanting you to fail, do you? I’m just, you know? I say things I don’t mean. And then I regret it. Actually I’m just trying to scare you a bit, you know I’m not doing it to torment you.
The voice that slowed down as if gauging my reaction asked.
—Are you really going to be like this? Insisting on going all the way to court?
“…Court?”
—Sending a certificate of contents from the crack of dawn, fuck, acting like you don’t know…
“…”
—…Right. You might not know. That Seo Nakil bastard, ahem. His agency sent all sorts of things. They say they’re going to file an unfair contract termination lawsuit.
Weren’t they terminating it by giving 500 million won?
—The penalty was bait. They’d use it to steal you away first, then raise issues like this to get a nullification ruling and get it back. Or at least make it public.
“I didn’t know it would be like this.”
—You really didn’t know? Really?
The CEO, who’d been trying hard to pretend to be kind, asked while forcibly suppressing his surging anger.
—This isn’t a scale prepared in just a day or two. Not just one or two lawyers, all experts in this field lined up. Plus somehow they even have a copy of your contract. If you didn’t cooperate in advance, how could they do this?
I thought there’d be no more shocking move than sponsorship, but Seo Nakil thoroughly mocked that imagination of mine.
—It’s not just at the level of taking you away. Ijae, what exactly is your relationship with Seo Nakil?
The CEO’s voice pierced my ears.
—That bastard is trying to completely dismantle everything around you.
