It’s a complete mess with no place to step.
The wide-open closet was completely empty, and the books that should have been neatly lined up were also in total disarray.
Inside the room where his clothes, belongings, everything was scattered messily as if a thief had broken in. And in the middle of the bed showing not even a bit of space, Siwoo was curled up. Siwoo, wearing his clothes that didn’t even fit him, was hugging a carrot doll that was also wearing his clothes.
His clothes, clearly taken out from the closet, were piled all around Siwoo.
“What are we… going to do?”
A small voice flowed from Evan’s faintly trembling lips. When Evan closed his eyes, thick teardrops rolled down his cheeks. Soon opening his eyes again, Evan approached the bed and pushed away his clothes that Siwoo had piled up in a circle as if to surround himself.
Evan, who made a place for himself to lie down, hugged the deeply sleeping Siwoo. When he carefully removed the carrot doll he’d been tightly hugging, soon a warm small body clung to him.
“What more should I do? How should I do it? Siwoo.”
Evan’s voice was filled with moisture as he carefully touched the sleeping person’s face, then swept back his hair and kissed the exposed forehead.
A deep darkness settled in Evan’s eyes as he looked at Siwoo, who didn’t wake even at his touch.
What kind of mood had Siwoo been in while making his room like this? He probably didn’t even know the reason why he was doing this. How would Siwoo react when he opened his eyes tomorrow morning, and he had to carefully select words to explain this.
Evan, who had been running looking only ahead, gradually had more and more things to hesitate about.
Since returning to Korea, he’d spent a lot of time next to Siwoo, who showed unstable signs. Instead of Siwoo, who didn’t express himself, his pheromones poured out many stories.
That it was hard, that it hurt. While wavering with the desire to run away, Siwoo looked at him and smiled prettily while whispering that he loved him. As the time they spent together grew longer, he gradually found stability, so he’d let his guard down too quickly.
Though it felt different to each person, 3 nights and 4 days wasn’t such a long time. But for Siwoo, it must have been more painful than any other time. And to overcome it, Siwoo instinctively made a nest and fell into a deep sleep inside it.
“You waited a long time, didn’t you?”
Evan, who had been staring at the messy nest Siwoo had made, closed his eyes and brought his lips to Siwoo’s head. Strength entered Evan’s arms as he hugged Siwoo, who wouldn’t wake up.
Though it was a very low frequency, there were omegas who struggled with being apart from their alphas. And the omegas who showed such behavior were mostly pregnant. They tried to fill the place without the alpha with things full of their pheromones. They felt stability from their imprinted alpha’s pheromones, but when those pheromones disappeared, they suffered from extreme anxiety.
To overcome it, they searched for the alpha’s belongings and tried to find even the pheromones soaked into those clothes.
In case this happened. In case something like this occurred.
What could be predicted in a situation mixed with things that couldn’t be understood by explanation?
Even things he hadn’t kept in mind much because they were impossible had happened.
He’d suppressed and suppressed his greed and didn’t imprint. Even while having countless relationships with Siwoo, he also didn’t do knotting. How should he understand this nest made by Siwoo, who neither formed an imprint nor had a child?
It would be nice if it were like this forever, but if he disappeared, how would Siwoo endure the time left alone? Waiting for him who wouldn’t return, he’d make a nest like this again. Then when the pheromones faded from all these things, then…
Evan, who had been hugging Siwoo like that for a long while, slowly got up from his position. And he cleaned up everything Siwoo had scattered. Though he couldn’t make any decision, it seemed like that’s what he should do now.
“When did you come?”
“When you were sleeping.”
Evan, who had finished organizing the room and laid down hugging Siwoo again, answered quietly at the mumbling words from Siwoo, who burrowed into his embrace without even opening his eyes.
“You should have woken me when you came.”
“You were sleeping so well. Didn’t you want to see me?”
Their comfortable voices went back and forth in the quiet space. As if he still had no intention of getting up, Siwoo didn’t lift his face buried in his chest, and Evan also didn’t try to forcefully look at his face.
“Am I a child? Why would I want to see you? We even talked on the phone and everything.”
“I wanted to see you. If it’s not accompanying you, I won’t schedule anything overseas.”
“Here we go again. I told you to grab opportunities when they come. You don’t know well yet, so you’re like that, but you’ll regret it later. Everyone else is desperate to take off, but why are you trying to waste all the opportunities that come?”
“I’m saying I couldn’t sleep and cried because I missed you.”
“At least wet your lips before lying.”
Listening to Evan’s childlike whining, Siwoo suddenly sat up at a memory that flashed by. With anxious eyes scanning Evan’s room, Siwoo placed his hand on Evan’s head as he lay using his thigh as a pillow, wrapping his arms around his waist.
Was the memory that just surfaced a dream? He’d walked around this room like crazy. He’d opened the closet and pulled out all of Evan’s clothes, frantically hugged his clothes and buried his face in them. He’d haphazardly piled everything he could feel his pheromones on onto the bed…
Seeing Evan’s room the same as usual without any disorder, Siwoo ran one hand through his hair. How long did I sleep? After returning from the drive, he’d come straight to Evan’s room.
“Should we eat?”
Siwoo, who had been lost in thought, lowered his head at Evan’s words. Siwoo’s gaze also moved along following Evan, who got up with a calm face no different from usual, saying he was hungry and let’s eat.
“Coco. You’ll eat with me too, right?”
He felt like he’d missed something, but because Evan kept talking to him, he couldn’t think properly.
* * *
“Are you really doing it now?”
Siwoo put down the pen he’d been scribbling on paper with, standing at the standing table.
“We haven’t really communicated since moving studios. They keep telling me to do a live, so I’m trying to get it over with quickly because it’s annoying.”
“Then do it after I leave.”
Feeling like he shouldn’t just leave things as they were, Siwoo, who had visited Sangjun’s studio for once, hastily organized the things he’d taken out at Sangjun’s sudden words about doing a live.
“What fun is it alone? It’ll just be for a bit, so do it together. Just stand there and wave.”
“I don’t want to. It’s your live, hyung.”
Siwoo, who had oddly ruined things every time he did a live, was now desperately avoiding it unless it was a group live.
“Hey kid, what’s yours and mine in a live? You haven’t done one lately either. Do it together and then leave. I’m tired of Myunghun hyung’s nagging, so tired.”
At Sangjun’s action of turning on the live as soon as he finished speaking, Siwoo stopped his moving hand. Through the large monitor in front of Sangjun, he could see Sangjun and himself.
Siwoo wasn’t even close to Sangjun hyung’s camera but at a distance away. Moreover, standing beyond the standing table, when his figure appeared relatively small, he smiled awkwardly and scratched his forehead with one hand.
“Yes, yes. Today I’m with Siwoo.”
When Sangjun checked the rapidly rising chat window and opened his mouth with an indifferent voice, Siwoo just smiled softly. Since it had already started and there was no hole to escape through, it seemed better to just participate. Either way, they’d been telling him to do a live too.
Moreover, Evan wasn’t here today either. He said he was meeting someone in the evening, so he’d whined about not wanting to go, and Siwoo had chased him out while hitting his back. Lately, why was he so anxious if he couldn’t stick by his side? If he couldn’t see him even for a moment, there was such chaos with phone calls and texts.
This morning, he’d even had to follow him into a meeting he didn’t need to attend.
“I moved studios in early December, but I’m only greeting you now. I was busy organizing and doing this and that.”
Since there was distance and he couldn’t see the chat window well, Siwoo took out his phone and accessed the live.
“I’m far from the screen so I couldn’t see the chat window. Today I just came to visit Sangjun hyung’s studio for a bit, but I was about to leave when I got caught just now.”
While watching the rapidly rising content, Siwoo, who spoke for the first time since the live started, laughed out loud seeing content asking why he was so far away and to come forward.
“He can’t come. He shouldn’t come.”
“Right. Sangjun hyung is being formal with me, so if I go beyond this table forward, things will get awkward between us and it’ll be a big problem.”
“We’ve been living in the same house for several years, but we’re faithfully being formal.”
During the back-and-forth conversation, the corners of Siwoo’s lips, raised high with the fun of communicating with fans after a long time, wouldn’t easily come down.
“See, it’s better doing it together than alone, right? Ah, and look forward to this mini-album. You’ll know why Siwoo is here.”
At Sangjun’s random words, Siwoo widened his eyes and quickly held his hand forward and waved it.
“This hyung-nim is saying things that’ll cause trouble. Everyone, it’s not like that. I really just came to hang out.”
“Kim Siwoo, shh. Let him cry. You’re doing well.”
“It’s really not.”
It was hard to call it a spoiler, and though he’d scribbled a bit, it was far from enough. He wasn’t even sure if he could write it like this.
Siwoo, who had been doing the live smoothly for about 30 minutes, quickly nodded at Sangjun’s small gesture suggesting they end it now.
Exchanging glances with Sangjun to end the live moderately, Siwoo saw through the monitor that the firmly closed studio door was opening.
“Ugh…”
Through the monitor, he saw the door open and a black silhouette cast, and at the same time he turned around to check who it was, a suppressed sound flowed from Siwoo’s mouth at the force covering him.
“Hey, we’re doing a live.”
Hearing Sangjun’s surprised voice, Siwoo covered his face with one hand and let out a long sigh.
At the same time, slow words flowed from Evan’s mouth, who reeked of pheromones along with a strong smell of alcohol, suddenly hugging him from behind and burying his head in his nape as usual.
“…Nemo …hello.”
