When all the filming was over and they were leaving the amusement park, Siwoo’s steps halted as he passed by the carousel wrapped in beautiful, splendid lights, frozen in place.
“Want to ride? If you say so now, we could.”
Even during breaks in the middle of filming, Evan had suggested that he ride the carousel. This time, just like then, Siwoo slowly shook his head.
It was a carousel that must have circled the same spot all day long. The carousel’s rest time, which had carried countless people spinning round and round in the same place, was starting now.
Why the carousel that had just stopped? Filled with the desire to stay in this moment with Evan, Siwoo didn’t want to make something that was stopped move.
Inside the pocket of the hoodie Siwoo was wearing was a small yellow bird.
After all the filming ended, taking advantage of the chaos, Siwoo headed to the mini game corner that had been continuously catching his eye. Seeing the numerous colorful balloons attached to the wall, a bitter laugh escaped him.
He was reminded of the yellow bird he’d ultimately failed to give. Would things have been different if he had given it?
Just as Siwoo let out a short sigh and was about to turn around, a similar-looking yellow bird entered his vision.
“Do you want to try?”
It wasn’t just staff and members at the filming location. Looking at the clothes of the person who spoke to him from the side, it seemed they were an amusement park employee.
“Ah… well.”
“It’s not like I need to turn on a machine or anything. Should I give you the gun? Darts?”
At the more enthusiastic suggestion from the employee, Siwoo found himself holding darts before he knew it.
“Which one should I give you?”
He could have hit all ten, but Siwoo, who burst only nine balloons, pointed to the small yellow bird that had caught his eye. The small bird with a ring attached came into Siwoo’s hands like that.
“Are you mad?”
“No.”
Getting into the van, Siwoo looked at Evan, who had turned his body to face him, with an indifferent expression and pulled Evan’s black messenger bag, which he always carried, toward himself.
“I really wasn’t being cheap, Yechan at that time…”
Evan was still hung up on the haunted house team incident. He’d forgotten about that ages ago.
He might carry it around and then forget about it again. It’s small, so he might lose it.
Taking the small bird out of his pocket, Siwoo attached the bird to Evan’s bag.
The shabby, cheap yellow bird attached to an expensive bag that wasn’t even a regular luxury brand but a custom order—the only one of its kind in the world—felt just like himself.
“I’ll let the team incident from earlier slide. But if you lose this, I’ll really get mad.”
Because that bird is me. If I can’t give it this time either, I think I’ll really regret it, because if that luxury bag is you, then among the prizes, that bird at the lowest tier is me. They don’t match this much, and I know that.
But still…
Siwoo stared at the bag and bird for a long while.
“Where did that bird come from?”
At Evan’s words as he watched what Siwoo was doing, Siwoo lifted his head and smiled brightly.
“It’s a secret.”
It’s a secret. I’m substituting this bird for that bird from the time period I couldn’t bring it from. What I really want to give you is that bird, though—the thing I wanted to give you for the first time.
“It looks like you.”
“What?”
“Small and yellow. And look, the beak here is also sticking out…”
The bird was indeed himself, but annoyed at Evan for immediately catching on, Siwoo threw the bag at him. Siwoo, who turned his head to look out the window, had ears that were deeply flushed.
* * *
“Are you cold?”
At Evan’s words, Siwoo nodded slightly. Really, this time around I’m trying so many different things.
December 31st.
A time close to midnight.
Along with quite a few celebrities, the MC, and numerous people on the street, Siwoo was shivering outdoors.
They were waiting for that moment transitioning from December 31st to January 1st.
The end of one year and the beginning of another year were connected by schedules. At the outdoor event that had been continuing for several hours, Siwoo stamped his feet in place.
It wasn’t like he was wrapped in thick padding with a scarf wound round and round like the spectators, fully prepared to withstand the cold. That was the nature of a job where you’re shown to people.
It was common to be cold when it was cold and hot when it was hot.
Even though he had heat packs stuck here and there inside his elegant suit, heat packs in his shoes and in his pants pockets, they were useless before the peak of the cold.
“The countdown will start soon.”
At the words from Evan, who was stuck right behind him, the corners of Siwoo’s lips rose slightly. It is cold, though. On the stage were all the celebrities participating in today’s event gathered together. Everyone was greeting each other in small groups and chatting with nearby celebrities.
The good-natured Yechan was jumping around with members of other groups, dancing to the music flowing out, and Sangjun was also conversing with a solo singer he was currently working on music with.
Not particularly close with any celebrities, Siwoo was bobbing his head lightly and moving his body to the flowing music when he tilted his head.
“……”
Just a moment ago, a biting wind had been blowing from behind, but suddenly feeling a faint warmth, he tilted his head back. But immediately straightening his head, he turned his body slightly to look behind.
Evan was making eye contact with a member of another group next to him, having a conversation. The problem was his action. Evan, who had unbuttoned all his coat buttons, was lightly embracing him from behind.
Finding himself suddenly held in Evan’s warm embrace, Siwoo pressed his hand against Evan’s abdomen and pushed him away slightly.
Since they were close to being rookies, they were at the back of the stage, but even so, it was a place with many people.
“You’re cold, though.”
Siwoo’s eyes widened at his boldness, wrapping one arm around his waist as if telling him to stay still.
“If you catch a cold, you’re the only one who loses.”
During the small tussle between Evan, who wouldn’t let go, and Siwoo, who was trying to escape his embrace, fireworks began bursting noisily. Startled, Siwoo jumped with a flutter and looked around for where the sound was coming from.
Because of the chaotic situation, Evan also couldn’t properly hear the sound of the countdown being counted. Since they were in the back anyway, and so what if someone saw them doing this? Everyone exposed to the cold was stuck close together. This was why he’d asked them to put a coat on Siwoo too, but the coordinating team was adamant that today’s outfit couldn’t be covered with a coat.
Their reasoning was that they wouldn’t be outside for long—they’d be in the waiting room backstage and only come out briefly during performances and the countdown.
He’d given Siwoo all the heat packs in his pockets, but as midnight approached and the biting wind blew, Evan tried to at least block the wind. So when he unbuttoned his coat and stuck close behind Siwoo to embrace him, Siwoo acted sensitive again, which had been bothering him.
Even though he knew fireworks would be going off, Evan’s lips curved up at the sight of Siwoo being startled in the middle of their tussle. Once they started, it was natural for fireworks to go off in succession, yet Evan covered Siwoo’s ears with his hands as he continued to flinch in surprise.
Siwoo’s ears and cheeks, exposed to the cold air, were ice-cold. He’d covered his ears with his hands to block the sound since he was so startled, but feeling the frigid skin didn’t feel good. Soon small hands came up and tapped the back of his hands. It must mean to remove his hands quickly.
Instead of removing his hands, Evan bent his upper body slightly. Instead of the plum scent he always wanted to smell, he first caught the scent of the perfume Siwoo was wearing. None of this was to his liking.
Even when his hands were tapped, he wouldn’t remove them, so Siwoo grabbed the back of his hands. In the end, he now tried to remove them by force. Evan relaxed the strength in his hands and whispered softly in Siwoo’s ear.
“I love you. More this year than last year.”
His small body whirled around and was looking up at him. His red lips moved, but since the sound was buried in the noise, Evan bent his upper body a bit more and drew closer to Siwoo.
“If you take your hands off my body right now, I’ll love you more too.”
His lover had a habit of making love confessions in a threatening tone.
“Do you really have to go?”
After the countdown ended and they returned to the waiting room, Chan let out a deep sigh seeing Yechan flying around with higher tension than ever.
It was the day when Yechan, the only minor among the members, could finally legally go everywhere.
“Yes.”
The members who had taken off their stage outfits and changed into casual clothes had their eyes on Yechan, who was in high spirits. It was like the gaze of a spirited young puppy who loves to play, looking at a ball held in its owner’s hand.
“Let’s go, let’s. What’s so difficult? There’s no schedule tomorrow either.”
Instead of the hesitating members, it was Myunghun who met Yechan’s expectations.
“You guys are all going too, right?”
Siwoo, who was coming out after changing clothes last, quickly looked at Chan at the atmosphere of going somewhere again. Wasn’t today’s schedule the end? There was no schedule worth doing past 12:30. It wasn’t any other day—today was New Year’s Day, wasn’t it?
“If we don’t go, he looks like he’ll cry. It’s our youngest’s wish, so we have to grant it. What can we do?”
At Sangjun’s words as he stood up from his chair, Yechan threw his arms around Sangjun. Get off, you fool. You’re gross. Sangjun tried to detach Yechan who was clinging to him, but unable to overcome him with strength, Sangjun left the waiting room with Yechan on his back.
* * *
As Siwoo entered the club in the hotel basement, a smile deeper than Yechan’s hung on his lips. Not only had he not drunk alcohol for a while, but come to think of it, it had been quite a long time since he’d been to a club. When his head was complicated or his chest felt stuffy, there was no better place than this.
At the club past 1 AM, the atmosphere was in full swing, and in the club’s VVIP room, snacks and alcohol were already lavishly set up.
“Kang Yechan. If you sing that club, club song again now, you’re dead to hyung.”
“Yes!”
“It’s fine to have fun, but obviously you know the stage is off-limits. Kang Yechan, you don’t know your drinking capacity, so keep it moderate. Chan, take good care of them. We’ll be in the next room, so if anything happens, come to the next room.”
When Myunghun, who seemed to be planning on having fun today too, left the room after giving several warnings, Siwoo quickly took off the padding he was wearing.
Though it was a club he’d frequented quite often, he’d never reserved a room to play like this, so he was excited for no reason. There would be no schedule tomorrow, and they must have set up premium liquor on their own. Today, he could just enjoy and have fun without thinking about the consequences.
Still, the flower of the club is dancing and playing on the stage. Siwoo looked at the firmly closed door, then quickly shook his head.
“Ah. Come to think of it, is this your first time too?”
“Probably.”
To Sangjun’s words as he sat in the seat of honor checking the liquor placed here and there, Evan’s indifferent voice mixed in. Only then did Siwoo close his lips that had been slightly parted in excitement.
So this is your first time here too. I guess I have to pretend not to know about everything.
“Coco, somaek?”
At Evan’s words after surveying the table, Siwoo quickly shook his head. On a day like today, I’m drinking premium liquor too. Do you think days when you can drink expensive liquor for free are common? Just because somaek was his favorite didn’t mean he always drank somaek.
“You’re going to drink this?”
“Why?”
While listening to Evan’s question as he was already pouring drinks for Sangjun and Chan while holding a liquor bottle, Siwoo readily held out his liquor glass to Evan.
“You can say that even knowing your drunken behavior?”
“What about me?”
What’s wrong with my drunken behavior? Though he couldn’t be certain since he’d never drunk excessively enough to pass out in this time period, his drunken behavior was consistent.
Do you know what it feels like to wake up in a semi-basement? You don’t know how I feel. Or he’d just lose consciousness and fall asleep—that was all.
Since he’d gone on about the semi-basement and you don’t know how I feel countless times, he fully anticipated the reactions of those who heard it. It was obvious they’d dismiss it as nonsensical rambling from a drunk person. Since he’d always lived in a semi-basement rental room, it seemed they accepted it as just feeling sorry for the poor guy.
This time he didn’t start in a semi-basement rental room, but no one would pay attention to a drunk person’s rambling.
“Fine, drink.”
Evan, who seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, took the small straight glass from Siwoo’s hand.
“But yours is on the rocks.”
Liquor was poured lightly into a glass with ice. The words asking him to pour more rose to the tip of his throat, but Siwoo managed to swallow those words. The drinking session was just beginning.
