“Coco.”
Siwoo instinctively moved his head toward the voice calling his name. His head felt hazy and it seemed like white smoke filled his entire head. He didn’t want to open his eyes or move.
“Siwoo-ya.”
Though he desperately wanted to respond quickly knowing who was calling him, a sense of distance washed over him and the sound gradually grew farther away.
The touch disturbing him was annoying. He wanted to refuse it, but this time he couldn’t move his body as he wished. He wanted to convey that he wanted to rest so they should leave him alone a bit longer, but he couldn’t.
When his body shook steadily, Siwoo slowly opened his extremely heavy eyes. But everything was blurry and nothing could be seen properly, so he closed his eyes again.
“Yes. It’s not that…”
A pleasant voice. At the scent felt nearby, the corners of Siwoo’s mouth slightly rose. Siwoo slowly opened his eyes and blinked several times. As his vision gradually cleared, the first thing he saw was the back of someone with their back to him, talking on the phone.
As Siwoo turned his gaze to find the beeping sound that had been bothering him since a moment ago, he saw an IV bottle. It wasn’t difficult to find the smell of disinfectant in a space full of Evan’s pheromones.
A hospital. It wasn’t particularly surprising.
He wanted to see Evan’s face. It’s not that he didn’t want to see his broad shoulders, straight back, or long legs, but he wanted to meet those green eyes that looked at him directly. Siwoo, who moved his lips to call him, frowned at the stinging pain in his throat.
He tried to call him, but no voice came out. Even after swallowing the saliva pooled in his mouth and moistening his parched lips with his tongue, he couldn’t make a sound.
“Did you sleep well?”
Evan, who had been turning his back to him until just now, was looking at him before he knew it. That face smiling at him after ending the call and looking at him was truly handsome. Evan’s hand, which had narrowed the distance in one breath and approached, touched his forehead and swept back his hair.
The hand that had stroked his hair several times slowly swept over Siwoo’s eyebrow bone.
Siwoo, who read the worry underlying the smiling face, tried to lift his hand, but his arm had no strength. As a gesture that he was okay, Siwoo smiled slightly.
He’d like to drink some water.
The last thing he remembered was himself being held in Evan’s embrace.
What he remembered more vividly was the point when he started the live broadcast with the members with his body full of fever. When the headache that felt like it would shatter and the stinging skin came to mind, he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them. These were unfamiliar pains he never wanted to experience again.
After that, his head was tangled up in a jumble and nothing came to mind properly. He wanted to recall in chronological order what had happened, but only fragmentary things were drawn sporadically before his eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
At the sound from Evan’s mouth as he carefully touched his eyebrows, nose, and lips that had already dried up, Siwoo frowned. What is he sorry about? Siwoo’s eyelids gently descended again as he tried to understand Evan’s words.
Soon, along with Siwoo’s even breathing, calmly settled pheromones filled the hospital room.
* * *
Siwoo slightly pulled up the knit that came down not to the back of his hand but to his fingertips, then wrapped both hands around the mug on the table. The warmth of the warm mug gradually spread to his cold palms.
He lifted his arm and held a bit of warm water from the mug in his mouth.
Siwoo’s gaze touched his hand as he rolled the water around in his parched mouth without swallowing it right away.
Bandages wrapped around one wrist, an IV needle stuck in the back of his other hand.
When he turned his head to the side, he saw what looked like a garden with snow piled up beyond the window. People busily passing by on the sidewalk where the snow had been neatly cleared, cars on the road moving according to signals entered his eyes.
Siwoo’s gaze, which had been looking outside the window for a while, headed toward a piece of paper hanging on the wall. Below the vivid number “December,” the last page of the calendar, Siwoo’s gaze stopped at the number 8 among the 31 numbers.
The music awards were on the 2nd, so why is today the 8th?
“Haa…”
He let out a long sigh, but it didn’t turn into a smooth sound. His voice was completely hoarse, so even when he tried to speak, a sound like air leaking came out, and he had to close his mouth at the stinging pain. When he ate warm things like this, his throat would loosen, but right now his throat’s condition was a mess.
What came to mind was only the conversation of bodies stained with a feast of deep flesh tones.
When he properly came to his senses, he was in a hospital. It was ironic that he was wearing comfortable casual clothes rather than hospital patient clothes with the hospital name written on them. Because he had visited the hospital for minor symptoms like colds, stomachaches, or vaccinations, this was the first time he’d entered a hospital room like this.
Even when he visited the emergency room after twisting his foot while practicing choreography, he just got a half-cast and went home. Hospital rooms on TV weren’t like this, but the hospital room, which seemed like someone’s bedroom had been moved as is, was filled only with the sound of Siwoo blowing on and drinking hot water.
It seemed like he repeatedly fell into a faint sleep from exhaustion and woke up. Each time, Evan seemed to be by his side. Because when he came to his senses briefly, he saw him or felt his scent.
…Am I a beast? How could I do that?
From Siwoo’s mouth as he fumbled through the past time with his cleared mind, another sigh flowed out at the self-loathing that rushed in. Well, later on he himself had burrowed into Evan’s embrace in excitement, so it wasn’t something to blame anyone for. The reason his body wasn’t very good at the music awards was because of the heat cycle.
And he spent a lot of time with Evan.
But he was absurd at himself for losing consciousness and ending up in a hospital room over just that. He had no minor ailments and had been confident he was quite healthy…
Siwoo, who put down the mug on the table beside him, removed the blanket covering his legs and lowered both legs below the bed. Too many things happened in a short time. Everything he had dreamed of came true like a fairy’s gift.
The music awards filled with brilliant lights. People’s cheers, the Rookie Award. And time filled with heat, lust, desire, greed, and ecstasy unfolded like a panorama. And he slightly shook his head at the timeline that fit seamlessly up to the reason why he was in the hospital.
‘My pair’
When the hot breath that shattered in his ears, the minty scent that thickly enveloped his body, and even Evan’s voice seemed to be heard like auditory hallucinations, the corners of Siwoo’s mouth moved subtly.
Then, at the presence heard from outside, Siwoo turned his head to look at the door. Following two knocks, the door opened and Siwoo’s eyes wavered as he faced the person entering.
When he woke up today too, Evan was by his side.
His body was lighter and his mind was clearer than when he opened his eyes last time. He was the one who gave him warm water saying he was thirsty and left his seat, leaving words to wait a moment.
But when he saw the person following behind him, the expression that had appeared uniquely on his face completely disappeared. What appeared instead was embarrassment.
Because it was a vaguely familiar face.
“Nice to meet you, Siwoo-ssi. I’m Fayden.”
Toward the middle-aged man wearing a doctor’s coat who greeted him first in a polite voice, Siwoo quickly bowed his head.
“How’s your body? Are you still very sleepy?”
“…No…”
When he moved his lips to speak, a rough voice like scratching came out.
“As you know, Omega pheromone components were detected in the blood collected that day. But since it was faint, if we convert and express it numerically, it was about recessive Omega level. But in the tests done after you came to the hospital, a number close to dominant Omega came out, so we need a detailed examination.”
“…Manifestation…”
Then does that really mean I’m an Omega? Evan said I experienced a heat cycle, so then is it a heat cycle due to late manifestation? He wanted to ask that question and opened his mouth, but Siwoo, who ultimately couldn’t make a proper sound, closed his mouth. If there was something like paper, he wanted to express it even by writing.
At Evan’s touch approaching his side before he knew it and stroking his head, Siwoo looked up at Evan.
At his action of trying to touch even the hand with the IV needle stuck in it, Siwoo slightly pushed him away to create distance. Then he drew a rectangle with his fingertips to convey he wanted paper.
“Hmm, the discomfort in your throat or body are things that will be okay after some time passes, so you don’t need to worry too much. When your condition gets better, we’ll proceed with the examination then.”
Siwoo’s face, who had been listening to Fayden’s explanation in consideration for him—a bit slower and with accurate English pronunciation—flushed red. Though he spoke vaguely, he clearly understood what those parts he said were okay were caused by.
“I’ll do it now.”
There was no time to hesitate. It’s already the 8th. And he had to return to Korea by the 14th.
Even at Evan’s words that he should rest more, Siwoo didn’t bend his intention to take the examination right now. When Fayden left, leaving words that then they would proceed with the examination and the attending physician would come soon to guide him, Siwoo stared blankly at Evan pulling a chair and sitting in front of him.
“Why that expression?”
He didn’t need to make a sound. When he slowly moved his lips, a helpless laugh flowed from Evan’s mouth as he read it.
“It’s all because of me.”
At the words while carefully holding the hand with the IV needle stuck in it, this time Siwoo chuckled. How is this because of Evan? Whether it was late manifestation or heat cycle, it happened to him. Perhaps Evan was the one caught up in that matter.
It was also him who recommended taking medicine, and it was himself who held onto him.
Siwoo’s eyes, recalling Evan who seemed to hesitate until the end, calmly settled.
“But where is this?”
“England.”
Though he clearly understood the word England, Siwoo’s eyes widened as he couldn’t immediately accept it. We were in Hong Kong. He didn’t even have any memory of getting on a plane.
At Evan’s words tracing back the time not in Siwoo’s memory, Siwoo had to chew on his lips without being able to meet his gaze.
In the end, that’s what it is. Whether it was late manifestation or heat cycle, the sudden change in Siwoo’s pheromones affected Evan. Evan tried to control it by taking suppressants in case this happened, but anyway Siwoo prevented him from taking medicine and consequently even his rut overlapped.
The boiling heat had barely subsided, but Siwoo, who had fallen asleep as if fainting, didn’t wake up.
The physical decline due to intense relations and the stress from the second album activities and lack of sleep all rushed in at once, and Siwoo, exhausted by fatigue, just accepted it as is.
Anyway, when Siwoo, who had fallen asleep, didn’t easily wake up, they had no choice but to take him on a private plane to England late at night, avoiding people’s eyes. And from there, secretly admitted to the hospital.
He was just sleepy.
Evan’s voice and touch that felt like a dream, the memory of eating something—it was all real.
“Sorry… Really sorry.”
Thinking about what kind of mood Evan must have been in during the time he was asleep, his mouth went dry.
“It’s okay as long as you’re fine. I should have been more careful, but at that time I too wasn’t in my right mind…”
The awkwardness in the space where the conversation ended was broken by the attending physician who appeared just then.
