At the sound asking gently as if singing, Hae-won nodded, saying “Yeah.”
“I’m really hungry, but it seems like Ji-yu’s dad doesn’t want to eat with samchon.”
Along with Hae-won’s words, Ji-yu’s piercing gaze poured onto Seo-an. It felt unfair that those eyes, seemingly scolding him “How could you do that,” seemed to choose Hae-won over him, but what could he do? Seo-an glanced at Hae-won once without Ji-yu noticing and let out a deep sigh.
“But it looks like it’ll be crowded wherever we go here right now. Let’s hold out a little and go eat when the crowd thins out. The child said she’s not hungry yet either.”
“That’s right, if you want to act like an adult unlike when you were young, you should be able to endure this much.”
“Ah…”
Seo-an closed his eyes slightly and opened them.
He had thought it was because of his reaction of not giving him attention. But it seemed he had offended him by drawing the line, saying it was something only done when young. Just thinking about having to listen to that for the rest of the day until they left the amusement park already gave him a headache.
He tried to retort something, but seeing Ji-yu clinging tightly next to him, he couldn’t open his mouth. Seo-an secretly glanced at Hae-won once more, then spread his arms toward Ji-yu, who had become pouty.
“Ji-yu, Daddy will buy Hae-won samchon food, so don’t look at Daddy like that and come here. Hae-won samchon is having a hard time.”
“No!”
“Huh…?”
Seo-an looked at the child in bewilderment. Whether she was sulking about something, Ji-yu completely turned her head and buried her face in Hae-won’s chest, even trembling as she rejected Seo-an’s embrace.
Hae-won seemed just as surprised.
“What’s wrong, Ji-yu?”
Even as his eyes widened, he gently scolded her while patting the child’s back with his large hand. Seo-an joined in too.
“Ji-yu, if you keep staying with Hae-won samchon, samchon will have a hard time, come to Daddy.”
“No. Give him food quickly, samchon said he’s hungry.”
Ah, she must be tired.
Realizing that the child’s words were gradually dragging, Seo-an quickly caught on that the child was exhausted. When tired, the child whined more and drew out her words, and even in the midst of this, she was straining her eyes, enduring to avoid falling asleep.
He had heard somewhere that children this age always do this. Because they don’t know tomorrow exists, they seem to live today as hard as possible, he wondered why they try so hard not to sleep.
But right now, Ji-yu looked as if she had a desperate sense of mission to reconcile Hae-won and Seo-an. Or perhaps she thought she absolutely had to take care of Hae-won’s meal.
“Ji-yu, Daddy said he’ll buy samchon food.”
Hae-won stroked the child’s back broadly as she threw quite a tantrum. Even though her small frame seemed like it could fit in one hand, she was a boy so she had quite good strength, but when he added somewhat exaggeratedly, “Wow, we should eat something delicious,” only then did the strength gradually leave the child’s hand gripping his collar.
Earlier he had drawn the line, telling her that samchon should go to samchon’s own dad and ask for delicious food. The belatedly given “right to get a meal” felt exactly like compensation for carrying her on his shoulders and in his arms all day long.
In the end, only after hearing the words she wanted did the child fall asleep in Hae-won’s arms. Watching Hae-won, who looked very familiar with the whole process of soothing and putting the child to sleep, Seo-an had to feel somewhat complicated emotions.
“Give me the child. I’ll hold her.”
“It’s okay, it’s better to just keep holding her than have her toss and turn in between.”
It was right. Seo-an also knew well that it was better to let her keep sleeping than to accidentally disturb her and have to soothe her whining. So instead of taking the child back, Seo-an asked with a buried sigh.
“…What do you want to eat?”
“What about hyung?”
“Um… something warm would be good.”
“Then I think they sell seolleongtang over there.”
“Why would we eat seolleongtang here?”
Seo-an laughed in disbelief. A land of dreams and fantasies, yet seolleongtang. It must be a menu for parents who came with their children and felt the limits of their stamina.
Even so, it wasn’t that he was completely unwilling, so he moved his steps to where Hae-won was leading. The child’s cheek squished against Hae-won’s firm shoulder kept catching his attention, and Hae-won’s large arm holding the child tightly bothered him, but for now he pretended not to notice.
Fortunately, the restaurant area had fewer people than expected. Hae-won, who quickly found a seat, turned the child around to face him so she could sleep comfortably and gently patted her back.
Once they sat facing each other, there wasn’t much to say. Seo-an just quietly watched Hae-won taking care of her as attentively as if she were his own child. Then the food came out, and Hae-won picked up his spoon and started stirring the soup. Then he subtly raised his eyes to look at Seo-an.
Seo-an, who had been about to open his mouth wide and take a spoonful of rice well-soaked in broth, paused and met Hae-won’s eyes.
“…What?”
“But you know, it’s definitely not that I’ve been petty and kept dwelling on this.”
It seemed right, but Seo-an decided to listen for now. When he nodded, Hae-won took a moment to choose his words. The gaze openly sweeping over him was quite blatant. Unlike Seo-an, who rather felt his throat burning up, Hae-won asked with an indifferent expression and an indifferent voice.
“Since you said it’s something only done when young… hasn’t kissing gone out of style?”
A question that could never be indifferent.
“Is it just me?”
“……”
“I guess hyung is modern and I’m old-fashioned.”
Seo-an couldn’t say anything. During their university days, specifically when he was a fourth-year student and Hae-won was a second-year greenhorn.
They had kissed.
Seo-an lowered his head deeply. Even though he wasn’t a child, his ears suddenly burned. Whether it was because time had passed, or because it was a kiss done while drunk. Anyway, the memory of the kiss was vivid, but he couldn’t recall the circumstances before and after at all.
Seo-an rolled his lips and bit them, then let out a deep sigh and turned his eyes away from Hae-won’s gaze. The kiss with Hae-won wasn’t just once. Like someone throwing a stone into a calm lake and finally creating ripples, after catching fire like that once, they spent time together exactly like lovers without even saying “let’s date.”
Then contact was cut off and…
Seo-an, who had thought that far, straightened his expression again.
“What’s there to argue about old-fashioned or modern.”
Seo-an wanted to end the conversation like that.
The gaze persistently following, asking “Then what was what we did,” but just in time, Ji-yu woke up from sleep and whined cutely with an “Uuuung.”
There would be no day the child’s tired whining was as welcome as today. Seo-an, as if running away from Hae-won, took Ji-yu out of the children’s chair and sat her on his lap.
“Ji-yu, did you sleep well? Aren’t you tired?”
“Mm-hm, …sleepy.”
The child paused for a moment, then wriggled her body and leaned her head against Seo-an’s chest. It seemed she wanted to play more but acknowledged that it was absolutely impossible with her stamina.
Seo-an smiled faintly and kissed Ji-yu’s round forehead. He deliberately pushed her head with force, and the very gentle child obediently let herself be pushed back, then shook her head as if she didn’t like it and hugged Seo-an tightly again.
“Then shall we go home now?”
“Mm-hm. Let’s go home. Did Daddy and samchon… finish eating?”
At the voice drawn out adorably, Seo-an nodded. Hae-won seemed like he hadn’t properly finished eating yet, but now wasn’t the time to look after him in detail.
“Ji-yu, samchon hasn’t finished eating yet, you know? Look at this.”
“Mm-hm, eat at home.”
“You… you’re sometimes really firm…?”
Hae-won burst into a bewildered laugh.
No matter how well the child followed Hae-won, for a child whose own circumstances took priority first, Hae-won’s circumstances were of no concern.
In the end, Hae-won also put down his spoon. Hae-won, who burst into laughter once more as if it was absurd, playfully patted Ji-yu’s head hard several times. Then he clapped twice and spread his arms as if telling her to come to him.
“Samchon will hold you, Ji-yu. Let’s go with samchon.”
At that moment, Seo-an glared at Hae-won. Just after avoiding conversation, he was bringing up the child again, so it was meant to tell him to stop it, but Hae-won, whose eyes met his directly, was rather smiling broadly. The expression seemed to say he already knew well what his weakness was, making him feel uneasy.
“No, samchon is having a hard time so you can’t.”
Seo-an deliberately spoke firmly and hugged Ji-yu tightly. Then Hae-won shook his head, saying “No?”
“Samchon is bigger than Daddy, right? It’s less tiring for samchon to carry Ji-yu than for Daddy to carry her.”
“…Samchon is right, but…?”
Ji-yu looked up at Seo-an with a troubled face.
He already knew well that the child was smart. But did she have to be so sharp even in situations like this? Seo-an swallowed his sense of defeat inwardly and brushed back Ji-yu’s bangs.
“Still, let’s stay with Daddy. Daddy wants to hold Ji-yu.”
“But Daddy can be with Ji-yu even when we go home. Samchon and Ji-yu have to say bye-bye when we go home.”
The child waved her small fern-like hands to both sides with precision. The child, who put particular emphasis on saying “bye-bye,” even had her eyebrows firmly straightened in a resolute line.
“Ha…”
“I think I won, so give me Ji-yu quickly.”
“…Don’t really use the child like this.”
Seo-an spoke in a very small whisper.
In the end, he had to give Ji-yu to Hae-won, but he didn’t relax the strength in his eyes glaring at him. While thinking he should have a proper conversation with him someday. Of course, in one corner, the thought of “is there really a need to do that” coexisted.
