Recolor 19

* * *

The sex with the man wasn’t very satisfying. He, who had approached with a gentlemanly demeanor, had the worst bedroom manners. Not only did he repeatedly slap his buttocks in excitement, but while doing it doggy-style, he also roughly pressed down on Eunha’s neck. As if choking his throat.

If there was one thing he liked, it was that his body temperature was high. After finishing the relationship, Eunha held onto the man for a while. With an exhausted body, he was in the man’s embrace with their legs intertwined. The man seemed quite satisfied with that point and made some kind of sugary comments while kneading Eunha’s buttocks. They were rough, coarse hands. Eunha roughly ignored it and calmed his mind while concentrating only on the warmth the man gave.

It was warm, and he could hear the heartbeat. He felt like his chest, which had been empty as if about to split, was being filled.

The man continuously whispered to Eunha that he was cute. When parting, he asked for his contact information. Eunha said he would contact him and received the man’s number. Then he deleted it as soon as the man left the hotel room. He blinked drowsily and met unconsciousness without knowing when he’d fallen asleep. It was a good night’s sleep after a long time.

When there was no contact from Eunha, he came looking for the cafe again a few days later. Eunha treated him like a stranger as he sent subtle signals underwater. Hoping he would notice the implication of that avoidance and back off.

However, the man waited until late at night and dragged the off-work Eunha into a secluded alley. He interrogated him like a reproach about why he wasn’t contacting him and why he was avoiding him. The pupils he faced were full of anxiety whose origin couldn’t be known.

The man who acted as if he had ownership when all they’d done was spend one night together was absurd. He was the type Eunha despised most. His nerves instantly crumpled and he spat out whatever harsh words came. “Know your place,” the man who had been putting force into his jaw as if enduring showed a suddenly enraged expression. By the time he felt the crisis that reason was suddenly draining from his pupils, he’d already been hit in the face. The man, as if unsatisfied, raised his hand again. It might have been a foreseen result. From the time the man made a great delusion and unilaterally pressed his position. From the time he slapped his buttocks and acted like choking his throat without consent.

Eunha, who staggered and fell from the powerful force, felt his reason flash away and grabbed a large piece of concrete debris nearby. He struck the visible thigh with all his might. Ahhh! He climbed on top of the man who fell screaming and struck his shoulder again. His hair was grabbed. He didn’t remember well after that.

He went to the police station due to a report from a passing pedestrian. What he learned while doing that was that the man was even married. Crazy bastard. Eunha, while being interrogated, glanced at the man as if completely dumbfounded. The man, as if finally coming to his senses, avoided Eunha’s glare with a pale complexion. The appearance of caring about his family for what he was worth was so fucking disgusting. He should either have no conscience at all. If you’re going to act sober, why did you act that way toward me.

The desire to take revenge on the fucking bastard surged, but more than that, he hated being tired more. Eunha left the police station after reaching an agreement.

Dawn returning home. Eunha was newly reminded of how he’d come to prefer a fixed partner relationship over one-night stands. When you’re crazy with loneliness and pick up just anything to eat, trouble always happens like this.

As if the reflection was meaningless, four days later Eunha drunkenly slept with another man he met at the pub. He wasn’t bad in many ways, so they met about two more times. Should he bring up the partner topic, he sized up the other person while only thinking about it inwardly.

Living thoughtlessly and extravagantly as always, before he knew it, it was Park Hyeonji’s birthday party day.

A weekend in May. Eunha didn’t forget his friend’s warning, who had earnestly entreated that she would surely take revenge if he didn’t come, and attended the party. The location was a mansion owned by Park Hyeonji’s family. Not the main house, but a second house used for multipurpose purposes. They occasionally held parties, entertained guests, lent it to acquaintances on special days, and used it like a vacation home for rest.

It was owned by Park Hyeonji’s parents, but Park Hyeonji was actually more involved, and thanks to that, Eunha’s friends used this place almost like a hideout. Eunha also used to frequently visit this place until a few years ago. Though he rarely came now.

A large main building and a small annex attached next to it. Eunha, who familiarly stepped into the space composed of high walls and a wide yard, looked around the landscape for a moment. The interior was already heated up in the atmosphere of playing and eating. People in simple attire went back and forth between the swimming pool and poolside barbecue, and next to it, a rowdy drinking party was taking place on the widely installed cabana sofa. The interior of the mansion, with its front wide open with glass windows, also looked chaotic with people tangled here and there. The noisy music sounds coming from somewhere and voices bursting out here and there stirred up the sentiment.

Several familiar faces approached, swaying half-drunk. It was when Eunha, equipped with his public face, was smoothly exchanging greetings. “Oh! Lee Eunha!” When he raised his head at the sound coming from far above, he saw Park Hyeonji leaning against the glass railing on the second floor of the main building, smoking.

“Why are you only coming now-. I thought you weren’t coming. Come up quickly!”

Eunha briefly curled up the corners of his mouth toward him. He appropriately dismissed the approaching people and headed to the second floor. He offered Park Hyeonji birthday congratulations, and also briefly exchanged greetings with friends who had arrived first. The group the friends belonged to was in the middle of betting while playing pocket ball.

Eunha joined them while watching the bet. He exchanged formal greetings with some familiar faces and received a cocktail someone brought over. After that was familiar time. Drinking alcohol, betting and playing games, having conversations.

He quickly became pleasantly heated with intoxication. They changed locations several times, and many people passed by around him. Eunha occasionally showed a smooth smile while flowing with them like water. He especially had many fun stories with his friends. It was enjoyable. The frequency was just low, but once he made up his mind to go out and play, he wasn’t the type to slack off.

Drinking whatever was given, at some point he started to rapidly become dazed. The premonition instinctively arose that if he drank more here, he’d suddenly pass out. Perhaps he’d already reached that point.

“You go rest for a bit, Lee Eunha.”

“Mm……”

Gu Haebin, who was sitting next to him, noticed and patted his shoulder. Eunha, who answered, staggered up and headed where his body remembered. He felt his way along the long corridor and opened the door to one of the rooms used for guests and entered. He immediately flopped down on the visible sofa. It felt like the world that had been shaking in all directions sank down while receiving gravity about three times heavier. His consciousness rapidly blurred.

He took a brief nap. It was close to sleeping, but he was buried in a strange state of wakefulness with about 10 percent consciousness. Because the surroundings were noisy, he couldn’t fall deeply asleep.

While stretched out hazily, boisterous voices were heard ceaselessly. Some people left, and other people came. The rapidly changing conversation flow according to that went in one ear and flowed out the other as is.

Why didn’t Joohee come?

At a woman’s voice suddenly caught clearly, a familiar low tone rumbled and dug into his eardrums.

Noona is busy these days preparing for the recital.

Aha. That’s too bad. I miss Joohee.

Anyway, glad you came. I was curious about you. Because Joohee really doted on you.

……Noona dotes on me?

If not? You know I’m close with Joohee, right? Everywhere we go, she says she has to buy your gifts. Joon-ah. Our Joon-ah. And three years ago or so. When you were badly hurt? Joohee was so worried then. Crying and making a fuss while drinking…….

—Ah. But doesn’t everyone do that?

Everyone? I buy my parents gifts but absolutely never buy my real oppa gifts. And whether he’s sick somewhere dying or not. I don’t even have his contact in my phone.

More than that, do you have a girlfriend?

…Suddenly?

Do you have one or not-.

I don’t.

Why not. Want to date me?

……What?

Hey. Don’t play around like that. He’s young.

He looks it. How old are you?

Some kind of low answer continuing. Laughter bursting out momentarily. Voices. Voices. Voices…….

He opened his eyes. The view that had been hazy as if covered with fog gradually cleared. The surroundings were somehow quiet. The noisy mansion held much calmer composure. Though voices could still be heard from somewhere, they remained at a very distant volume. It was a stillness that somehow felt off.