# Chapter 97
My expression hardened without me realizing it. Is that how I appeared to him? As someone withering away to the point of not wanting to live again?
“Of course, Fenil said that couldn’t be true… but I’m worried.”
That couldn’t be right. When I was by Boss’s side, I just felt good. I was happy to be able to see him, and each day was precious. So there’s no way I could have appeared worn out.
But thinking about it more, I could understand what he meant. The me that Boss remembers is the me who had realized I was terminally ill. In that case, it’s not unreasonable for him to think that way. It wasn’t that I was tired, but I had so much on my mind that I couldn’t maintain my usual composed appearance.
But honestly, it was hard to accept that the version of me that remained in Boss’s memory was just a tired version of myself.
It felt like a rejection of the me who had lived for him.
“Do you think I was constantly unhappy being alive?”
I hoped he would say no. I wasn’t actually unhappy. If Boss had any interest in me, he would know. That even though it was hard after being diagnosed as terminal, I didn’t want to give up on life. If he had thought about the me from before, he could have easily understood this fact.
Of course, at times I felt disillusioned with life. But that didn’t mean I was unhappy.
Even though my mind was crowded with “what ifs,” it was still a meaningful life. I was able to experience the feeling of loving someone, and I had a place to return to. All of this was possible because he existed.
“I… I didn’t do anything good for you. So I thought Kay would be suffering while being by my side.”
“My standard for happiness is different from others. Even the smallest bit of attention was happiness for me.”
But Boss kept denying it, and I couldn’t help but blurt out my words in frustration. It wouldn’t have mattered if all his actions toward me had no meaning. It was enough that they were salvation for me.
However, I didn’t want him to dismiss my happiness as nothing.
I knew that wasn’t his intention, but the words just spilled out.
“I was happy that you looked at me, and just being by your side was happiness.”
What was ordinary for others wasn’t for me. Each of his words was special to me. Would he even know that?
No, he probably wouldn’t. That’s why he could say I was unhappy being by his side.
“Such simple things were happiness to me. That’s why I could like you.”
It’s the same now. I was so easily swayed by Boss’s kindness. Why can’t I just ignore such trivial things? If I had been even a little more thick-skinned, a little stronger, it would have been better. Then I wouldn’t have liked Boss.
I couldn’t help but scoff at myself for being so stupid, unable to easily break ties with him. It was such a pathetic sight.
Boss stared at me for a long time before shaking his head. Emotions that had been stacked up neatly were now flowing down his face. Despite his eyes being dry, a pitiful atmosphere surrounded us as if he were crying.
“…No. That’s only natural.”
His heavy lips opened slightly, and a smile settled on them.
“Because you liked me, you felt happy. Being looked at, being by my side.”
Each of his words dug deep into my heart. As if his emotions were being transferred to me, a corner of my heart ached.
“…So I liked you a lot. What, is that what you want to say?”
“Of course not. I wanted to let you know that Kay’s standard for happiness is the same as everyone else’s.”
His gentle voice, his hand softly stroking my head, easily crumbled my resolve.
I was at my limit now. I existed for “myself,” but I couldn’t do that anymore. I should hate him, but I simply couldn’t. I could feel my carefully maintained expression crumbling.
“Being happy just by looking at someone you like is perfectly normal.”
The feelings I had been trying to hide flowed out through the gaps.
“…How would you know that?”
“Because I feel the same.”
“…”
“I’m so happy just having you by my side right now, I don’t know what to do.”
The desire to love him once more was leaking out helplessly. He was a cruel and cold-hearted man. So perhaps this too was an act. But I could feel that Boss’s every action toward me was sincere.
I wanted to believe it was true. If there was no lie in his words, I thought it might be okay to like Boss.
But as if rejecting my feelings, my consciousness began to blur. It felt like I was being pulled into another place. I had never experienced this before, but I instinctively knew.
That “I” was trying to wake up. As if refusing to be swept away by these emotions any longer, “I” slowly opened my eyes.
The feeling of wanting to like him began to fade gradually. Instead, what filled that space was bitter resignation. I could feel myself sinking into deep, deep despair. The memories of the past awakened vividly, clearly telling me the reality.
That it was impossible to love this person again.
What remained was an emotion dried up like ashes after everything had been burned. I opened my parched lips toward Boss, who was smiling kindly.
“…I did not despair at being alive again.”
I could see him looking at me, seemingly confused.
My words were the truth. At first, I was even glad that I hadn’t died.
“Because I could see Boss once more.”
“Kay…”
“But now… I am in despair.”
The sensation of sinking into a dark abyss swept over my entire body. I saw his body stiffen, but I spoke the following words without hesitation.
“Not because of the past before I died, but because the present reality is too much for me to bear.”
Even though I was just breathing, it felt like someone was gripping my throat. Everyone I saw looked like they were going to kill me. My body, which should be fine, was covered in sticky blood.
With reality like this, how could I possibly go on living?
It’s too late for everything now.
This moment was too horrific to try to live.
* * *
After watching Kay, who had fallen into a deep sleep, for a while, Boss left the room. Taking quick strides, he took out his phone and called Alex. After a few rings and a brief silence, Alex’s voice was heard.
“If it’s about Kane, he’s woken up on this end too.”
“…Let’s keep this between you and me for now.”
Fenil would figure it out on her own, and it wouldn’t be too late to tell Melia after the situation had settled somewhat. Currently, the fact that Kay had been revived was not known to the regular members of the organization. He didn’t intend to keep it a secret forever, but with Peace’s situation, now wasn’t a good time. So there was a need to move as discreetly as possible.
“Understood. By the way, do you know about the recent series of disappearances of barrier ability users?”
“Disappearances?”
“Yes, already more than ten people have gone missing.”
In an era where villains were rampant, disappearances were common. But the disappearance of superpower users, more than ten of them at that, was certainly not ordinary.
Moreover, this was the first time he had heard this news today. It didn’t make sense that he hadn’t known about this incident while so many ability users were disappearing. After all, he was always keeping an eye on minor incidents and accidents. So there was a high probability that this disappearance incident had occurred within a short period.
Boss entered a vacant room from a quiet corridor and immersed himself in thought while tapping the table with his finger.
The disappearance of barrier ability users. Then it’s certain that it’s related to barriers. However, it wasn’t necessarily something to connect with the organization. But Alex wouldn’t have mentioned it without meaning.
“…Is this related to us?”
“Recently, the whereabouts of five of them were discovered. What’s concerning is that the location was the abandoned factory where you and Fenil went.”
“When did this happen?”
“They are estimated to have been in the abandoned factory from two days before our operation date. The date of death was the day of the operation.”
His tapping finger stopped abruptly. The five missing people were found at the abandoned factory they had gone to for the operation. It could be seen as a coincidence. But it was none other than Peace who had called them to the abandoned factory.
Could they really have no connection to this disappearance case? Boss could assert with certainty that they were connected. There was a trap set by Peace in the abandoned factory to capture him. Traps generally don’t work well if the target is aware of them. So it’s fundamental to prevent information from leaking out.
Moreover, Peace would have wanted to make them submit. If not, they might have tried to kill them. But Peace, known to the public as a clean hero agency for citizens, wouldn’t commit murder or violence thoughtlessly. In any case, it was clear they had prepared to cover up what happened inside the abandoned factory.
But if word spread that Peace employees had been in and out of the abandoned factory, those preparations would be in vain. Not only would their trap be discovered by them, but Peace’s reputation would also plummet.
Therefore, they would have had to thoroughly monitor not only the abandoned factory with the trap but also other abandoned factories in the area. If outsiders entered through another abandoned factory and approached the one with the trap, Peace’s plan would be at risk of exposure.
In such a situation, no matter how much Peace claimed it wasn’t the abandoned factory with the trap, it was nearly impossible for them not to know that missing persons had been confined in another abandoned factory for three days. So it was right to speculate that this was either directly orchestrated by someone connected to Peace, or it was an incident instigated by someone from Peace.
“What’s their condition?”
“All of them are deceased, and the cause of death is tentatively carbon dioxide asphyxiation.”
“Tentatively?”
He never expected them to be alive. Most cases of this kind involve kidnapping, and kidnappers rarely let victims live unless money is the objective. But Alex used the word “tentatively” instead of stating an exact cause of death.
To Boss’s question demanding a precise explanation, Alex hesitated for a few seconds before speaking as if perplexed.
“Well, there’s someone who committed arson, and that culprit is reportedly Kane.”
