# Chapter 89
As he traced back through his memories, something came to mind. Clearly, back then, when Kay wouldn’t listen even after being threatened, he chose a method different from his usual approach.
The reason he went that far at the time was nothing special. He simply didn’t like the idea of someone he had saved becoming a corpse. Yes, he had thought it was just that. Looking back now, it was because Kay was already precious to him even then.
But at that time, he didn’t realize it and ended up choosing a somewhat extreme approach. He spilled well-prepared food in front of Kay. Kay, who had been staring blankly at the mixed-up food, seemed to come to his senses belatedly and shouted loudly. It was filled with emotions uncharacteristic of a child—contempt, anger, shame.
Watching him, he said this: if Kay didn’t eat, he would throw the food away from now on. And that method was perfect for Kay. Someone who knew the value of food couldn’t possibly remain indifferent to food thrown on the floor.
After that, although he occasionally rebelled, Kay began to force himself to eat without skipping meals. Later on, his wariness completely disappeared, and he even reached the point of requesting specific dishes he wanted.
When that memory surfaced, a thought flashed through his mind. The Kay from back then and the current Kay had similar personalities. So a similar tactic might work. After much deliberation, Boss opened his mouth to test it.
“…That body belongs to the researcher, no, to Kane, right? If you don’t eat, Kane will be in danger when you return to your original body.”
“…”
“Do you want to put Kane in danger?”
After finishing his words, he observed Kay’s reaction. Kay’s body, which had momentarily flinched, began to stir. Soon, he peeked his ears out from under the blanket to survey the situation, then slowly revealed his face.
This much was a great success.
“Will you eat?”
“…Urgh!”
Clearly dissatisfied with having fallen for such a tactic, his face was filled with displeasure. Following his emotions, his tail sharply struck the bed repeatedly. Seeing this, a satisfied smile formed on Boss’s lips.
“I prepared a simple porridge.”
Placing a tray on the bed, he stirred it with a spoon. After roughly showing that nothing strange had been added, he scooped up some porridge and held it out to Kay.
Though it appeared to be an ordinary porridge with basic vegetables and a touch of beef, Kay still seemed wary as he sniffed the air.
Then, enticed by the good smell, Kay unconsciously opened his mouth. He soon tried to close it with an “oops” expression, but Boss didn’t miss the opportunity. In an instant, the spoon was in Kay’s mouth.
“It’s delicious…”
Kay, who had been about to spit it out, opened his eyes wide like a rabbit after tasting it. Boss smiled contentedly at the illusion of bright light spreading around.
“I’m glad. I was worried it might be too bland.”
After all, Kay hadn’t eaten proper food for weeks. If he ate something too salty from the start, his stomach might not accept it, so Boss had no choice but to deliberately make it less seasoned. But naturally, less seasoning meant less taste.
So Boss thought Kay would struggle to eat this. But it seemed to suit Kay’s palate perfectly as he snatched the spoon from Boss’s hand, his eyes sparkling. He pulled the porridge bowl toward himself and put it into his mouth one spoonful at a time. Soon, his cheeks were puffed up like a squirrel’s. Though his facial expression didn’t change much, his twitching ears conveyed Kay’s feelings.
Indeed, the current Kay was very similar to his childhood self. Boss watched him eat while occasionally handing him water and tissues. Although quite a long time had passed since Kay’s death, this was the first time he felt at ease.
“…Did you make this?”
Kay asked, handing the bowl back to him after eating it in an instant. His disbelief was evident.
“Yes, since we don’t know what’s in outside food.”
Boss nodded nonchalantly. He never really trusted food from outside. That’s why Boss had mostly cooked at home since becoming an adult. It would be shocking for organization members to know, but nobody knew he could cook.
Kay listened to his words thoughtfully, then shifted his gaze to the empty porridge bowl. Thanks to his excellent hearing and smell, he knew Boss had been cooking. But the porridge had been lukewarm when he first tasted it, even though it must have been brought right after cooking. As if it had been deliberately allowed to cool for someone who couldn’t eat hot food.
His chest ached. He didn’t like how Boss’s attitude had suddenly changed. His eyes, which had shown vitality, sank again. The slight conflict that had arisen disappeared without a trace.
Kay was confused. Why was he approaching so kindly?
It had always been this way. This person always gave him many questions. These questions shook him like a stone thrown into calm waters.
Though it probably meant nothing to Boss, Kay was so easily shaken. That made Kay angry. Boss’s attitude of throwing questions without giving answers. These questions that weighed heavily only on him.
Biting his lips tightly, Kay sifted through the questions that filled his mind. Then, he picked out one question from among them.
“…Why did you save me?”
Lifeless eyes turned toward Boss. Seeing him looking as if he might break at any moment, Boss reflexively opened his mouth.
“I like y—”
“That’s not the answer for now.”
But Kay shook his head. He couldn’t hear that answer in his current state. For now, there was no option to understand him.
Kay knew his emotional state was unstable. He also knew he couldn’t fix these misaligned emotions by himself. So Kay postponed it for later. For a time, not now, when he might be able to accept Boss’s words.
“What I want to know is why you took me in.”
Therefore, what the current Kay was curious about was the time when he was saved by Boss. Today, he was determined to get an answer. Faced with Kay’s intention to confront rather than avoid, Boss momentarily avoided Kay’s gaze. Kay’s eyes were so straightforward that he simply couldn’t meet them.
“…Didn’t I tell you before?”
“You said it was because I seemed useful.”
“Then why…”
“But that’s not true.”
Even his past self knew that wasn’t the truth. But he just let it slide, fearing he might upset Boss if he probed further.
“I concluded back then that it was because you were kind… but thinking about it now, that doesn’t seem right either.”
The reason he was asking this question now, which he couldn’t ask before, was to confirm that it no longer mattered. If he could remain calm no matter what answer he heard, then he felt he could truly cut ties with Boss.
He didn’t want to hear that he seemed useful. What he wanted was Boss’s honest feelings when he took him in. But he couldn’t force it. If Boss lied, it meant their relationship ended here.
Would he be able to discern his intention? Whether he did or not, it didn’t really matter, but the act of lying itself wasn’t very pleasant.
Seeing his somewhat sad expression, Boss had no choice but to open his mouth. After all, once Kay asked, he had no right to refuse.
“Then, if I tell you the reason, can you tell me who you are?”
“I’m Kay.”
“I know that. But you don’t seem like your usual self.”
Boss didn’t want to hurt him. That’s why knowing Kay’s condition was the priority now. He needed to understand him properly to be careful.
Kay frowned, not having expected Boss to be curious about this. It was clear he didn’t understand Boss’s thoughts.
“So? Even if you know my identity, nothing will change, right?”
It was true that he wasn’t his usual self, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t himself. So it probably wasn’t that important to Boss. After all, nothing would change as long as he was Kay.
It was a strange thing to be curious about, and Boss could just let it slide. Why was he so curious? Kay felt annoyed at this. His eyes sharpened.
But that was only Kay’s perspective. For Boss, Kay’s current state was more important than anything else.
“It changes. Many things.”
His calm red eyes rippled like waves. Faced with his attitude of needing to know, Kay had no choice but to nod. He couldn’t refuse because of Boss’s serious gaze.
“…Fine. I’ll tell you.”
As soon as Kay reluctantly agreed, Boss’s expression immediately brightened. In truth, he had thought he would have to give up if Kay didn’t tell him. He didn’t want to trouble Kay by asking.
He hadn’t expected Kay to tell him from the start since he thought Kay disliked him, so he hadn’t gotten his hopes up. But contrary to that, Kay readily agreed to tell him.
Although it could be because getting an answer was equally important to Kay, Boss couldn’t help but feel happy.
“But you go first. Don’t be evasive, speak clearly.”
“Of course.”
With a gentle smile, Boss recalled that time with a lighter heart. It was from the distant past, but he still vividly remembered that day. It was the day his life completely changed.
Unable to find the right words, his lips moved slightly before he finally opened his mouth. Contemplating how to speak in front of Kay, he ended up hesitating without realizing it.
A slight excitement that Kay couldn’t notice filled Boss’s eyes.
“The reason I took in Kay was because I needed a reason to live.”
