# Chapter 111
As if to prove it wasn’t just empty words, Haylen was visibly afraid. But I didn’t like seeing him that way.
“I don’t want Boss to be bound by my death.”
It wasn’t that I wanted Haylen to be happy. Rather, I wanted him to taste the same pain and suffer as I had. Even now that I could understand his past, I felt that way.
However, I also didn’t want him to be immersed in useless grief.
“But—”
“Back then, it was me who chose death.”
I cut off Haylen’s words and spoke in a resolute voice. His body froze, seemingly startled.
“Not you.”
Yes, it was my choice, not anyone else’s. Though circumstances left me with no choice, it was still me who decided to die.
But Haylen was afraid I might die again because of him. Despite having no reason to think that way.
It’s inevitable that one’s mistakes remain as shackles. However, it wasn’t right for something that wasn’t even his fault to bind him.
From the beginning, it’s natural that my lifespan would be shorter than an ordinary person’s. Unless something extraordinary happened, I was bound to die before Haylen.
In the end, even if I hadn’t died then, I would have died before Haylen. But Haylen couldn’t accept this obvious fact and was desperately trying to extend my lifespan.
“…Still, isn’t it natural to want someone you love to live longer?”
I felt pity for him, but I also understood. If Haylen were in my situation, I would have said the same thing.
However, just because I understood didn’t mean I could leave him constantly fearing my death. It was different from before when death was right in front of me. Now that I’d been revived, I had much more lifespan left.
So rather than thinking about death that might come at any time, I wanted him to think about the present.
“You want the person you love to live happily.”
I wanted him to think about ways we could live together. It was truly a contradictory feeling. Hateful yet lovable. Wanting him to despair yet also wanting him to be happy.
At first, I only wanted Haylen to be happy, so perhaps this was natural.
And I also knew how these emotions would end. Right now, hatred filled me, but it would clearly fade with time. And as it did, these contradictory feelings would find their proper place.
I could tell just by looking at the person before me. How could I continue to wish for his unhappiness when he was showing such affection toward me?
Eventually, the evil feelings standing firm now would surely bend.
“For Kay to be happy… it’s impossible by my side.”
Haylen’s lips trembled slightly as if smiling was difficult. I couldn’t deny it. But I had a feeling that wouldn’t be forever.
I found myself thinking, ‘If Haylen continues to love me unchangingly, won’t I eventually become happy too?’
“I couldn’t be happy by anyone else’s side either. I’d rather be by Boss’s side.”
So I wouldn’t leave Haylen’s side. He wouldn’t let me escape either. Because he promised to let me live.
“Besides, if I’m with Boss, even falling into hell together doesn’t seem so bad.”
Ordinary happiness didn’t suit either me or Haylen anyway. As I formed a faint smile, Haylen, who had been staring blankly at me, suddenly burst into laughter.
I didn’t know what that laughter meant. But the gloomy atmosphere changed in an instant. The hand covering his face slowly lowered. Haylen smiled as if helpless, his eyes curving, and opened his mouth.
“If you say that, I can’t stop you anymore.”
It was an unexpected statement. He looked relieved, as if he had realized something he hadn’t thought of before.
“…”
“I won’t stop you anymore. Even if it puts Kay in danger.”
What had moved Haylen’s heart? No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find the answer.
But it was different from before when he had reluctantly given permission. Looking at Haylen speaking with sincerity, I could feel the anxiety that had filled me disappearing.
* * *
Fenil tilted her head, looking at Kane, who maintained a calm demeanor despite being afraid. Kane’s shoulders, sitting on the sofa opposite Fenil, flinched slightly.
“So you’ll help?”
“…Yes.”
He lifted his teacup to block his view, avoiding Fenil’s piercing gaze. She stared intently at Kane before falling into thought for a moment.
She didn’t know how Alex had persuaded him, but Kane had said he would provide the information he had.
“It’s fine since we don’t lose anything either, but…”
It was actually advantageous. No matter how much they searched, there would inevitably be a difference in information compared to someone who was actually a researcher at Peace.
Of course, that was only if Kane had deliberately gathered detailed information, but if he knew nothing, they wouldn’t have accepted in the first place.
If the information was terrible, they could also break the contract. After thinking it through, finding nothing particularly problematic, Fenil spoke to Kane.
“Who is it? The child you want to save?”
Kane wanted to rescue a child in exchange for providing information. Alex probably agreed thinking it wouldn’t be too difficult since they could bring the child along with Alice.
But if they made a mistake, the situation could become twice as dangerous. So they needed to know which child he wanted to save first.
At Fenil’s words, Kane hesitated for a moment before speaking in a voice full of determination.
“A child with the number A-11.”
At those words, Fenil narrowed her eyes. She tapped her desk with a pen as if thinking, and before long, a smile formed on her lips.
“…If it’s that child, we can definitely save them.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
What a coincidence. A-11 was the number assigned to Alice. She knew Kane was Alice’s assigned researcher, but she hadn’t expected him to risk danger to rescue her.
Anyway, it made things less troublesome, which was convenient for them. Since they had the same goal, she just needed to accept the information that had rolled in.
Hiding this fact, Fenil began to probe Kane’s information in earnest.
“…Do you know someone named Zenon?”
“No…”
“Then have you ever heard about implanting bombs in people’s heads?”
Kane, who had expected questions about Peace’s structure, momentarily tilted his head at the unexpected question.
But seeing Fenil’s serious expression, he seemed to think he should answer diligently and fell into thought for a moment. Frowning as he searched his memories, Kane opened his mouth as if recalling something.
“Ah, I do know about that.”
Kane, who had barely recalled the memory, said with a bright smile.
“I heard it’s usually used on people who are immune to mind control.”
It was something he learned when he was looking into various things. Occasionally, a high-ranking executive who came to the lab dropped a rectangular device with a button.
When Kane picked it up for him, the man started talking freely about the device. The button was connected to a bomb implanted in someone’s head, and it would explode immediately if pressed.
The image of the man speaking while giggling was so striking that Kane remembered it clearly.
“Do you also know how to stop it?”
“Just a moment…”
At Fenil’s urgent voice, Kane racked his brain again.
“I don’t know that, but I do know how they store the devices.”
Kane suddenly raised his head at the memory that remained like a faint afterimage.
“Tell me in detail.”
“Well…”
Kane began to explain as meticulously as possible. Though he stumbled at certain parts as if there were gaps in his memory, he managed to finish his explanation successfully.
“…”
Fenil continued her silence without answering. In the suffocating stillness, Kane rolled his eyes around, gauging her reaction.
The atmosphere was tense, as if he was worried he might have offended her somehow. Finally, just as he was about to open his mouth to apologize blindly without even knowing what mistake he had made—
“With that, it’s definitely possible.”
Fenil broke the prolonged silence and spoke clearly.
“Was I helpful?”
Kane asked with wide eyes, seeing that she appeared pleased rather than angry or irritated.
“Yeah, honestly, I thought all the researchers at Peace were trash… but you seem like a good guy.”
Despite her hostile tone contrasting with her favorable attitude, Kane was pleased by her words. He also knew well that there were no decent people among Peace’s researchers.
Kane also knew that he was one of them.
But Fenil had called him a “good guy.” It made Kane happy, as if she was acknowledging that he was different from the other researchers.
Smiling with a relaxed expression, he seemed to suddenly realize something and bowed.
“Ah… thank you for treating me well too.”
At first, his impression of her wasn’t good because he judged only by her speech and appearance. But now that they had actually conversed, he could fully realize that Fenil was also a good person.
“It’s just that you remind me a bit of Kay since you were in his body, so I can’t kill you.”
“Still, thank you.”
Regardless of the reason, she had shown him kindness. Since joining Peace, he had never felt at ease, but strangely, he felt comfortable in this place that should be his enemy’s territory.
He knew it was because of the consideration of the organization’s members. That’s why Kane couldn’t help but be grateful to the members of “Alice” who had cared for him.
“…No matter how I look at you, you seem like such a pushover. I wonder how you survived.”
Fenil muttered, watching Kane smiling quietly. She was even surprised, perhaps because it had been a while since she’d met someone so pure.
But that couldn’t be all there was to him. Even now, though he appeared fragile, there was undeniable conviction in his eyes. Though outwardly weak, his inner self was undoubtedly infinitely strong.
And perhaps that’s why she thought Kane was similar to Kay. Kay also had that same unyielding, firm conviction.
