‘Go Sunjeong, are you working hard?’
It was like that until one day when he ran into his Korean history teacher outside school.
‘Yes.’
When Sunjeong’s cheeks puffed up slightly as he smiled and spoke demurely in front of a teacher he wasn’t particularly close with, it was so cute that Taeon’s gaze was fixed on him, and the Korean history teacher spoke to Taeon as well.
‘You’re not even taking the Suneung but you’re not giving up on studying. If you’re going to do that, at least register for the exam.’
Taeon could recall even with his eyes closed how Sunjeong’s complexion changed in that moment.
Sunjeong didn’t even ask the question ‘You didn’t register for the Suneung?’ Just as Taeon knew Sunjeong well, Sunjeong also knew Taeon excessively well.
In the end, Sunjeong sobbed even until the morning of the Suneung.
Even that only brightened when he saw Taeon’s figure who had come to be in front of Sunjeong’s house at the crack of dawn.
‘……Sorry.’
On the morning of the Suneung, instead of words like telling Sunjeong to do well on the exam or to just do as usual, Taeon had to apologize and say he was sorry. Looking at his face full of tears, an apology instinctively came out on its own.
He couldn’t say things like sorry for deciding to live my own life, or that he had to acknowledge his limits and live with that.
‘Sorry.’
He apologized once again playfully to Sunjeong who was smiling with pursed lips after seeing Taeon’s face.
If he didn’t take the Suneung, in principle he had to attend school classes, but knowing that the school wouldn’t strictly enforce that rule, Taeon had found a one-day short-term part-time job on the day of the Suneung.
He had planned to see Sunjeong’s face directly, tell him to do well on the exam, and then leave right away for work, but watching Sunjeong who was full of traces of crying yet smiling while looking at Taeon as he entered the test site, waiting for Sunjeong felt more important than the immediate job.
In the end, Taeon waited for Sunjeong until he finished taking the Suneung and came out of the school.
In the meantime, he warmed up at a cafe and bought a gift to give to Sunjeong who had finished taking the Suneung.
His wallet was thin, but fortunately he had money to buy a gift for Sunjeong thanks to doing part-time work at dawn every day. Surely Sunjeong had many, many scarves at home worth far more than ten times the price Taeon paid, but when he saw the pale pink scarf, he couldn’t help but buy it.
‘Go Sunjeong!’
Taeon still couldn’t forget the expression Sunjeong made when Taeon called his name as he was about to leave through the school gate without even raising his head, as if knowing he would naturally be alone since his parents who had gone on an overseas business trip together couldn’t come to see him off.
How nice would it be if Sunjeong could always make such an expression.
How nice would it be if Taeon himself could make him that happy.
Even knowing it was a dream, somehow the self dreaming this wish seemed to be that nineteen-year-old from back then, and Taeon’s feelings welled up.
There was quite a distance from the school assigned as a test site to Sunjeong’s family home. Even though the first snow was falling heavily and it was cold enough to make their flesh ache, Taeon and Sunjeong walked home instead of taking public transportation.
It was because Sunjeong insisted tremendously that he wanted to feel the effectiveness of the scarf Taeon had given him.
He didn’t know how good the warmth retention of a scarf with ‘MADE IN CHINA’ clearly stamped on it would be, but Sunjeong buried his neck and half his face in the scarf and smiled brightly.
‘I really, really wanted to have university life together with you, Yoon Taeon.’
When they reached his family home, in front of the words Sunjeong quietly uttered, Taeon couldn’t say anything.
‘Your face is all frozen. Let’s go in quickly.’
He could only say things like this.
‘Let’s do that, yeah.’
When Sunjeong, who seemed to have decided not to say anything more at least for today, familiarly clasped Taeon’s hand, something cold touched Taeon’s cheek.
“Get up quickly.”
“……”
When he opened his eyes, Sunjeong, who seemed to have already finished preparing to leave, was staring intently at Taeon’s face. It was Sunjeong of this moment now, not Sunjeong in the dream.
“You usually never oversleep, but you’re sleeping more today. Did you sleep well?”
Since it hadn’t been long since he’d showered, a strong smell of cherry-scented body wash wafted from Sunjeong.
Taeon blankly blinked both eyes and nodded his head.
“You.”
“I slept well too. Get up and get ready.”
At the voice of Sunjeong speaking firmly with his pale face, Taeon, who had barely come to his senses, got up from where he sat.
It was the day of the decisive battle. Taeon, who had received harsh criticism from Sunjeong, studied with the determination that if not Hanguk University, he’d rather not go to university at all. Thinking like this as he studied, a taut tension permeated his previously rather loose mind, and his grades had also risen little by little.
He didn’t really intend not to go anywhere if it wasn’t really Hanguk University, but still, he really wanted to go to Hanguk University. He could no longer suppress the greed to be with Sunjeong who was studying at Hanguk University.
Taeon slowly prepared as usual, trying to relieve the tension that had lightly permeated his body and mind.
“It’s delicious.”
The breakfast menu was also the same as usual, scorched rice soup.
He couldn’t understand why the bland scorched rice with no seasoning tasted this good.
Sunjeong, who couldn’t hide being just slightly more sensitive than usual, quietly moved his spoon and fork and chuckled.
“Once the Suneung is over, the scorched rice soup is over too. Let’s have a really lavish breakfast.”
Like the lunch box menu, the breakfast menu from a month ago had also been fixed as scorched rice soup. At Sunjeong’s words, Taeon quietly nodded his head.
Before leaving the house, Sunjeong went into his room for a moment and came out.
“It’s supposed to be very cold today. Wear a scarf.”
“……”
Sunjeong, who was much shorter than Taeon, stood slightly on tiptoe to wrap a scarf around Taeon. Within Sunjeong’s touch wrapping the scarf, Taeon could only remain silent.
The scarf Sunjeong was wrapping around Taeon’s neck was the scarf that Taeon had once given as a gift on the day Sunjeong took the Suneung.
Since he had never seen him wear it except on the day of the Suneung, he thought that the cheap scarf indeed didn’t suit Sunjeong’s skin well.
“I treasured it, so this is the second time I’m using it.”
“……”
When he turned toward the shoe cabinet, in the mirror the pale pink scarf that didn’t match Taeon at all was firmly wrapped around him.
Taeon looked at himself in the mirror and smiled slightly.
As expected, the road to the high school in another neighborhood assigned as the test site was a bit congested. But since they had left an hour and a half early, there was no big problem.
Taeon, sitting in the passenger seat, was blankly looking at Sunjeong’s small, white hands gripping the steering wheel. He still couldn’t quite believe that Sunjeong was now driving this skillfully.
‘Am I your chauffeur?’
‘I’m only going to ride in cars you drive for life, so you’re a driver, right.’
‘What nonsense.’
Taeon had gotten his license as soon as he turned twenty.
It seemed that the jobs Taeon would look for didn’t just prefer license holders to the extent of giving them preferential treatment, but rather had a pervasive atmosphere of naturally only hiring people who held licenses.
When he registered at a driving school with money he had saved by doing part-time work in his own way during high school, his heart wasn’t very good. In his own way, he was too scared to spend in one go the money he had worked hard to save.
But unexpectedly, there weren’t many occasions to use his driver’s license. Instead, there were many occasions when he took Sunjeong here and there as if escorting him.
‘Your family’s chauffeur will get fired. Because of me.’
‘It’s not exclusively mine anyway.’
Sunjeong would call Taeon out with various well-attached reasons, but mostly they were just excuses. There were more times when they went on purposeless drives. Even that, as days passed, the number of times Taeon refused increased.
Taeon worried that by mainly driving foreign cars with good ride quality, he would feel the discomfort of the used cars he was likely to purchase even more greatly.
He still hadn’t purchased a used car, and now Sunjeong was the one driving.
The closer they got to the test site, the more Taeon’s mouth dried up.
It wasn’t because of studying. Literally, if he just did as usual, he was confident in anything.
There was only one reason why Taeon was nervous right now.
Would it be okay to do this to Sunjeong who was silently taking care of Taeon from the morning without making a fuss unnecessarily? Would it be okay to do this to Sunjeong who still didn’t match Taeon, who was too difficult for Taeon to have complete certainty about?
But since Sunjeong had also done this to him, it might be okay to do at least this much.
Having finally made up his mind, Taeon clenched his fists tightly, immersed in the feeling that he was the most nervous he’d ever been in his life.
“Yoon Taeon, go and be yourself.”
During the short time that Sunjeong’s voice, which touched the depths of Taeon’s heart more than any other encouragement, echoed in the car, Taeon stared intently at Sunjeong.
“You need to get out now. There’s a car waiting behind.”
“……Yeah.”
I’ll do well on the exam and come back, thank you, Go Sunjeong.
Saying these things should be the priority, but his mouth wouldn’t open easily.
Instead, Taeon leaned his body toward Sunjeong very slowly.
And just as Sunjeong had done to Taeon a few months ago, he brought his lips to Sunjeong’s white cheek.
Worrying slightly whether his lips were too rough for those excessively soft lips they were touching. The quiet kiss that couldn’t even make a sound touched Sunjeong’s cheek very briefly and then pulled away.
