Theodor wanted to know how the black fox had ended up outside the imperial palace, but Kael didn’t add any detailed explanation. It was a clear signal that he didn’t want to discuss that topic any further. Though it was regrettable, Theodor didn’t press further. The fox was in his hands now anyway. There was no need to do anything that might arouse suspicion.
Having left the palace, Theodor boarded the carriage that had been waiting for him. The carriage door closed. Theodor gazed at the imperial palace receding beyond the window, lost in thought.
‘Now, what should I do with that fox?’
The fox was a far more valuable existence than he’d anticipated. The moment he realized that fact, he became certain that if he used the fox, he could easily get even the Emperor in the palm of his hand. A smile spread across Theodor’s lips.
***
After Theodor left, the fox attempted to escape several more times, but all ended in futility. Utterly exhausted, the fox suppressed the surging longing and stared endlessly out the window. But there was nothing more to see in the scenery outside after sunset. It was because no one walked the streets as it approached midnight. The fox made a dejected sound—whine—and pressed its forehead against the window.
At that moment, the sound of the door opening came. When it turned its head, Theodor was standing there.
The fox’s nose twitched. What is this smell? It was a familiar yet unfamiliar scent. Theodor always smelled of cool lilies. But now another fragrance was layered over it.
Though very faint, it was an unforgettable scent. The lingering trace of the uniform he always wore, the smell of old parchment and fragrant tea that filled the office, and above all those scents, the body scent that could only be felt from him, seeping layer upon layer.
It was Adrian’s scent.
The longing it had barely been suppressing surged like waves. A sadness larger and deeper than the despair it had felt in front of the closed door stabbed at the fox’s heart. It missed him. It missed him desperately.
The fox approached Theodor without realizing it. Unlike its previous steps filled with hesitation, it moved instinctively toward only the scent coming from him, like iron drawn to a magnet.
“…?”
Theodor made a puzzled expression seeing the fox approaching him. It was the first time. That this beast had approached him first.
Has it let down its guard? Did it like the gift? So is it finally trying to acknowledge me as its master?
The fox stopped at Theodor’s feet. Then it buried its nose in the hem of his clothes. Wanting to feel even a little more of Adrian’s traces, it sniffed more deeply, more desperately.
However, the faint fragrance, far from soothing its longing, only stirred up greater thirst and pain. Whine. A pitiful moan escaped from its throat.
“Yes, good boy.”
Theodor completely misunderstood the fox’s behavior. That it had finally surrendered after long resistance. A satisfied smile hung at the corners of his mouth.
“It seems you’ve finally realized where you belong.”
He bent his knees to sit and gently scratched under the fox’s chin. The fox didn’t avoid that touch. Rather, it pushed its head further in. Because Adrian’s scent wafted even more strongly from his hand.
“Are you hungry? I’ll tell them to prepare an especially delicious dinner. You need to eat well since we have to leave on a long journey tomorrow.”
The fox’s head shot up. Leaving tomorrow? Where to? Countless questions flashed through its blue eyes, but Theodor left the room without any explanation. Because there was no need to reveal his intention to keep it hidden from the Emperor’s view until he decided how to use the fox.
The fox just stared blankly at the door where Theodor had disappeared for a while. Leaving tomorrow. Those words circled in its head. That meant getting even farther from the imperial palace where Adrian was. Perhaps it would never see him again.
At that thought, unbearable fear spread.
No. I don’t want that.
It had to meet Adrian. Even just once would be good, it had to see his face. No, it wanted to be by his side. It didn’t want to be separated anymore.
The longing became a massive wave that could no longer be suppressed and crashed over the fox. Adrian’s scent wafting from Theodor’s touch became the catalyst that broke the dam.
The fox approached the window and looked outside. It wanted to go back. It wanted to meet him. But both the door and window were firmly closed. Its vision blurred. Its nose stung and it felt something hot rising in its throat. Sorrow welled up. It was sad that it might never see him again.
Why did it run away back then?
Belated regret surged like waves. It was true that the soldiers holding spears had been frightening. At that time, it had been so terrified it hadn’t had the presence of mind to properly judge the situation. But thinking about it now, sending the soldiers might not have been to chase it away, but to find it trembling somewhere in the rain.
Adrian had never once tried to harm it. Rather, he was always the one who protected it. He always protected and accepted it. Even when it made mistakes, even when it caused trouble, he extended his hand instead of getting angry.
Even if Adrian really had been angry, there was no way he would have harmed it. If it had apologized saying it was sorry, he surely would have let it go at that.
But the fox ran away. Because it was scared. It misunderstood, judged on its own, and didn’t trust him. That fact stabbed at its heart. It had been a foolish thing to do. It had been such a fool.
But couldn’t it just go back now?
Adrian might still be looking for it. If it apologized for messing up the office, he would hug it without a word. It could climb onto Adrian’s lap and sleep again, and everything could return to how it was before. It hoped it would turn out that way.
But it couldn’t get to the imperial palace without someone’s help. The capital was too vast and the road to the imperial palace was complicated. Moreover, it was just a beast that couldn’t speak. It couldn’t do anything except whimper and wag its tail. This frustrating reality made the fox despair.
At that moment, one thought flashed through its mind like lightning.
Should it try one more time?
Humanization.
If it succeeded, getting to the imperial palace would be much easier. In human form, it could ask for directions and get a carriage. Plus, if it became human, it could offer the apology it couldn’t give as a fox. Just because Adrian wasn’t angry didn’t mean the wrongdoing disappeared. It was true that it had messed up the office, and an apology for that was also necessary.
Let’s try it.
It had failed when attempting humanization before, but it had seen the possibility. It had felt something stirring deep inside its body. So it could do it. No, it had to.
The fox first lowered its body and took position to remove the collar. It seemed it would be easier to move once it got rid of this suffocating thing first.
The fox made sounds mixed with moans—whine, whimper, groan—pushing up with its front paws and persistently scratching with its hind legs. At first there wasn’t even a budge, but when it persistently scratched and pushed, the collar gradually slid toward its face and finally came off.
It worked!
The fox threw the removed collar to the floor and concentrated on the energy within its body. It regulated its breathing in time with its heartbeat and awakened the power sleeping inside its body one by one, praying.
I want to meet Adrian. I want to go to him. I want to stand facing him and speak. Not with the sounds of a whimpering beast, but in human language. That I’m sorry, that I was wrong. Please let me shed this suffocating fur so I can at least convey those words.
Perhaps the orb responded to its earnestness. Something stirred deep within its chest. The fox closed its eyes and imagined its human form, its speaking self.
A faint blue light began to ripple around its chest. All the blood in its body became hot as if flowing backwards. The agony of joints dislocating and muscles screaming and twisting covered its entire body.
Crack, crunch. Horrible sounds it couldn’t believe were coming from its own body burrowed into its ears. It felt as if its entire body was being torn to shreds.
But it endured. The fear that it might never see Adrian again was greater than the pain.
One front paw covered in fur slowly began to lengthen. The black fur disappeared as if seeping inward, and soon pale skin was revealed. The short, blunt toes gradually changed into slender, long fingers. At that moment, a stinging pain surged up along its arm.
The fox squeezed its eyes shut in pain. No, endure it. Bear it. As it gritted its teeth and regulated its breathing while holding on so its strength wouldn’t give out, before long the pain gradually subsided too.
Is it… over?
The fox carefully opened its eyes.
“…!”
The fox stared at the scene unfolding before its eyes as if it couldn’t believe it. It was a hand. Not a beast’s paw, but a human hand. Its own human hand that it was encountering for the first time in its life was awkward and unfamiliar. Nevertheless, it was clearly part of its body.
It succeeded.
It had succeeded in humanization!
