“…Dan.”
He hesitated and gave Moon Jaeyoung’s nickname. Even though he’d ended and resolved it alone for a meeting that couldn’t even be called a beginning, he felt pathetic himself for acting like someone scattering breadcrumbs along the path. However, the man didn’t seem to know Moon Jaeyoung’s name at all.
“Are you staying in Korea?”
“No.”
“Ah.”
The man closed his mouth. The continuing questions stopped there and he silently closed the robe. The robe that had been loose on the man was a bit tight on Kang Ikwon. The appearance of just draping it on without even threading the sleeves because of the thick clothes seemed like it would look terrible no matter how he thought about it, but Kang Ikwon didn’t stop the man and the man didn’t laugh looking at that appearance. Stepping back one pace, he asked as if in passing.
“Do you… come to Korea often?”
This time, a firm answer like before didn’t come out. Kang Ikwon was always pressed with work and had frequent business trips. When he returned, a job change with a promotion was waiting. The salary would rise and he’d be busier than before. It meant coming to Korea, which he’d only entered and exited once a year at most, would become even more distant. Above all, Kang Ikwon had no intention of meeting him again.
But Kang Ikwon nodded.
“Then….”
The man raised his head.
“We can meet again.”
The now completely pale lips curved long like when pronouncing “me” sometime. The man smiled and sheepishly tapped Kang Ikwon’s chest.
“Today… let’s say it was getting rid of bad luck for the new year. You might not know what that is? Happy New Year.”
He looked deep into Kang Ikwon’s eyes as if engraving them and smiled. Like shaking a bottle to scatter the sediment, the smile pooled at the bottom slowly danced and rose. Particles of laughter sparkled and wrapped around the air. The man suddenly said.
“Your eyes are really pretty.”
Unlike your temper. Leaving words that might be praise or insult, the man turned his back again. Rowing his long arms slowly as if in water, this time he moved away without looking back. Kang Ikwon realized that even in his injured state, the man’s stride was quite large. That his gait was refreshing too. Only then did he realize that the man’s appearance of moving slowly as if walking in different air, looked that way only to his eyes.
Like color in black and white, the back that stood out alone clearly seemed like it could be caught right away if he reached out his hand. The hand he extended unconsciously then slowly withdrew felt untrustworthy, so he shoved it into the robe pocket as if sealing it.
Along with the rustling cigarette pack, something cold and smooth caught in his hand. It was a transparent plastic lighter. Instead of calling out to stop the man, Kang Ikwon quietly gripped it. A stuffiness like his chest was blocked and then tightening choked his throat again.
His physical condition today was the worst. His muscles squirmed on their own and his pulse beat unstably. His heartbeat was unpleasantly loud. On the other hand, it was stuffy like a hard stone was placed on it, and breathless. It was because of this unpleasant night. Because he fell in cold water. Because he forcibly changed his schedule, because he was busy all day, because of jet lag aftereffects.
Unlike his heart that had already kicked off the ground and turned to run, his feet didn’t move. The man faintly moved away and disappeared among the crowd. While he himself couldn’t move, crushed by an invisible weight, he was refreshing as if pushing his share of gravity onto Kang Ikwon.
Lightly as if there was no air resistance, but moving slowly alone without mixing. Even outside the water, he still seemed to be swimming ripplingly. In the crowded group, only his back view shone white like a night’s lamp.
His chest rustled painfully like the bill that had stabbed his palm.
Kang Ikwon returned to America without knowing the reason.
***
His regular life continued as it was. In days that were still busy and fulfilling, however, Kang Ikwon often had the same dream. In the dream, Kang Ikwon always stood at poolside and looked down at the man below the water surface. Unlike that day, a completely naked body cut through the current. The curved back submerged and the round buttocks surfaced, then when he kicked up his bent legs it disappeared. Only the toes remained till the end like that day, like a mermaid’s fins, and swayed.
When he woke from sleep, he felt like lying alone on a beach where the tide had gone out. Thump, thump. From far away on the earth quiet as space, a dull beating sound rang.
It was a peaceful and lonely feeling.
Long arms cut through the current. Unlike that day, clear and bright water light rippled.
Kang Ikwon, who had been watching that for a moment, touched the wall and rose above the water. Even his breath that burst after long submersion was quickly tidied as if nothing had happened.
“How inhuman. If you swam two laps, you should at least pretend to be out of breath.”
Familiar sarcasm rang right in front.
Kang Ikwon silently stroked his wet face. Why are you here. At the gaze that shot over quietly and clearly even without saying it in words, Moon Jaeyoung waved his hand.
“I heard rumors you were holed up in PP and came to see.”
“I was supposed to meet J here.”
Park Seoyun, who walked over from behind the sun bed, corrected Moon Jaeyoung’s words.
“He’s arriving today. J aside, why are you here?”
Moon Jaeyoung looked around inside. Though it was a boldly splendid pool as always, it was just a new boutique hotel located on the outskirts of Itaewon. The hotel’s owner built this place by picking out only the most unique parts of his taste. Moon Jaeyoung, who had rolled around several times in the beds of this hotel where the majority of guests were gays, clubbers, and foreign tourists, knew well how ordinary the bedding, furniture, and service here were. The air was bad, the outside was noisy, and the bizarrely huge pool took up all of the narrow site. It wasn’t a place Kang Ikwon, who had no particular likes or dislikes in taste but had high and refined taste itself, would choose.
Kang Ikwon ignored the curiosity and picked up the towel on the couch. The back that had been walking away coldly suddenly stopped. At the appearance of Kang Ikwon returning, Moon Jaeyoung, who had been teasing about just leaving, was rather surprised and shut his mouth. The words Kang Ikwon brought out after staying silent for a long while even after sitting on the sun bed, catching his breath longer than when running around the track ceaselessly, were surprising enough to make the lying body bolt upright.
Where do gays gather a lot in Korea?
Silence flowed.
“Is something wrong?”
Park Seoyun asked with an expression like he’d been hit with cold water. Kang Ikwon answered bluntly.
I’m asking because there is.
“Is it related to the reason you came to Korea? I heard you’re staying particularly long this time.”
Mind your own business. Korea isn’t your private property either.
Park Seoyun closed his mouth without seeming very hurt. He had joined this group the latest but was sufficiently immune to Kang Ikwon’s affection-losing speech.
A late wind, what else.
Moon Jaeyoung grinned.
Maybe you just now realized that New York gays aren’t your taste?
When endlessly busy Kang Ikwon went all-in on a Korean trip with his New Year vacation that he’d gathered with difficulty, he thought it was because of work as always. But, to think it was for this purpose.
Moon Jaeyoung grabbed Kang Ikwon who stood up ignoring him.
No, I mean, is there a specific place you want to go? You need to speak concretely.
This time too, Kang Ikwon surprised Moon Jaeyoung once more. Instead of coldly shaking him off and leaving, he obediently opened his mouth.
…Preferably where many people come.
Kang Ikwon hesitated and added.
Last year, like the pool party held here.
How do you know about that?
Moon Jaeyoung asked with his mouth hanging open.
The wind really blew hard.
That party was definitely cool. Especially special to me.
A cheerful voice rang through the nearly empty interior. J, who never missed out wherever there were parties and sex, appeared cheerfully, cutting off the context. J, who appeared still wearing his outer wear, shoes, and even what he probably forgot existed—a panda-shaped sleep mask—gave Kang Ikwon a natural ignore, blew Park Seoyun an affectionate kiss, and perched beside Moon Jaeyoung.
And I flew straight from the airport to book a weekend room just for that.
“What’s Lauren doing?”
“Ran away.”
Both J speaking and the people listening were calm. Originally it was common for eccentric artists’ secretaries to be replaced, but J’s case was a bit different. Usually they got involved in or sick of J’s freewheeling and promiscuous relationships with men and women and fled.
“Jed, having fun these days?”
Moon Jaeyoung pulled the eye mask.
“Your current steady must be quite to your liking?”
“Fantastic.”
J smiled and licked his lips.
“Really great. Sexy and cute. Eyes like a puppy, lips like a kitty. The body….”
Stop.
The only perfect heterosexual in this place, Park Seoyun, cut off the words with a displeased face. True to his upright nature, he switched to English and whispered as if conscious of eavesdroppers even in the empty pool.
I’m uncomfortable. With such… topics about my cousin and a homosexual.
Especially in front of Kang Ikwon.
J closed his mouth with a face that said it was nothing new and shrugged. Sincere Park Seoyun, whom everyone would think was joking if J introduced him as his cousin, was a sensible man who believed physical relationships could only be established if there was at least some affection. For him, what he couldn’t understand most about his dissolute cousin’s sex life was the relationship with Kang Ikwon that was used when timing matched when needed, without cycle, rules, or affection.
J, who exchanged mischievous glances with Moon Jaeyoung, hopped over the sun bed and pressed his body to Kang Ikwon.
Eden, you’re really sexy right now.
The finger that had just been counting off bragging about his lover rubbed Kang Ikwon’s shoulder with obvious intent.
Want to do it with me after a long time?
Get off.
If you don’t want that, how about the three of us?
At the brazen threesome proposal, Park Seoyun, whose patience finally broke, shook his head and stood up.
I’m leaving. I really don’t understand.
