“Cha Gyujin, hey you bastard…”
BANG!!
Hearing Pujo hyung’s urgent voice and the roar were simultaneous. Before I could grasp the situation, a sudden weight bore down on my left hand that J had been holding, as if a weight had been attached. I only realized it was J’s center of gravity shifting as he fell from the chair when I saw his body rolling on the floor. J, who quickly shook off my hand, curled up and rolled while protecting his arms even in that situation.
Startled and unable to make a sound, I stood dazed, then raised my head at a piercing gaze. It was a huge man blocking the lights like a blackout curtain. Dressed all in black like J, with a zip-up hoodie pulled deep over his face, shadows filled it so I couldn’t distinguish his features. The man who kicked the bar stool we called Excalibur lightly like an empty box—too heavy for anything else—took one step toward us. I muttered in surprise at the finally revealed outline.
“Eminem… no, Kang Ikwon?”
“You only ran this far and to that?”
Kang Ikwon kicked J once more. J, who’d been groaning after taking the full impact with his head and back while protecting his arms and shoulders as he fell, screamed.
“[You, you son of a bitch!!!!! You ungrateful traitor!!!]”
“[Get lost.]”
Kang Ikwon spoke lowly while looking at me without even turning his eyes toward J. So those cold words lodged in my chest like a bullet shot at me. Ha, fuck. Only then did I realize the calculation I’d overlooked. I believed Moon Jaeyoung would definitely deliver my contact to J. Because that would be fun. And he probably conveyed that fact to Kang Ikwon as well. Because that would be fucking, fucking more fun. J rolled on the floor and roared with a parade of Fuck Fuck Fuck—I don’t know the meaning but everyone knows it’s cursing.
“[Damn bastard, attacking from behind!! You almost ruined my hands! This great fortune of the century!]”
“[Shut up, I said get lost.]”
This time Kang Ikwon, who only turned his cold gaze downward, trampled on J’s stomach like garbage. J laughed through his nose, “Ha.”
“That was the expression! That face was what you saw me with back then.”
I tried to stand up awkwardly late, but Kang Ikwon moved to block my view. J, whom I could now only see the legs of, sprawled out in a spread-eagle position without even getting up and laughed loudly.
“How could I mistake that!!”
Kang Ikwon grabbed and pulled my arm without giving J a single glance. I hesitated, looking back worriedly. Surely he won’t sue Kang Ikwon for assault, right?
“Hey, that guy…”
“Stop caring.”
“He hit his head…”
“Do you still have the presence of mind to care about other things?”
A large hand grabbed my chin and forcibly lifted it. My head bent painfully as I met Kang Ikwon’s eyes directly, which had been hidden in shadow. They were cold, calm, and hard eyes. Like a sharp blade.
More than fear, an eerie sense of déjà vu crossed. However, Kang Ikwon didn’t give me time to properly reflect on it and spat out.
“That’s a human who’ll be happy as long as his dick, hands, and tongue are fine. So worry about yourself.”
“Wha—”
Kang Ikwon no longer spoke to me or listened to answers. He looked back toward the entrance bustling with people who had gathered to watch the commotion, then grabbed my arm, approached the end of the bar, and threw open a curtain hung in a blind spot. Wind rose with a fierce edge enough to knock over the boxes in front, revealing a door only staff and regulars knew about. After pulling the door handle to confirm it was locked, Kang Ikwon held it and without hesitation struck upward diagonally at the bottom. With a thwack, the surface dented slightly and the door opened. Before I could be surprised, Kang Ikwon pushed me inside, followed, and closed the door.
“Hey, you…”
I stared like possessed by a ghost at Kang Ikwon walking familiarly toward the stairs.
“How did you… know about this?”
It wasn’t top secret, but it was a door Pujo hyung didn’t bother to open to customers. Originally it was a door connected from inside the bar, but during remodeling the structure became weirdly twisted and it became accessible only from the hall. Past a short hallway used like a storage room, climbing the stairs leads to the back road. After people mistaking it for the bathroom and vomiting, and freeloaders increased, it was eventually closed.
But Kang Ikwon, who’s only been to this bar a couple times, even knows the trick to opening the locked door.
Kang Ikwon, who had stopped while climbing the stairs, turned around.
“Are you still curious about just that kind of thing?”
“No… it’s not ‘just’?”
“That side is fucking cute, I’ll give you that. Catch.”
With an expression I couldn’t tell was cursing or praise, he threw something at me. It was a half-empty cigarette pack.
“It’ll be pretty tattered. I’ve been clutching it like a madman.”
The cigarette pack was really crumpled and worn as if handled for a very long time. The landing had no particular lighting, just pale light seeping in from outside. A motorcycle passed and the stairs brightened briefly. I saw Kang Ikwon’s bloodshot eyes. A face as wretched as if he hadn’t slept a wink for three days.
“I rolled around your house like that, but there really wasn’t a damn thing left behind or dropped.”
Kang Ikwon muttered in a hoarse voice.
“That was all there was.”
I looked at Kang Ikwon, blinking like an idiot. Well… first of all, there was barely any time to wear clothes in that house, nor any need to. There was nothing missing so nothing for me to add, and Kang Ikwon provided everything I needed down to underwear. Kang Ikwon liked it to an excessive degree when I was wrapped in his things or clothes. The first time I borrowed his underwear, it was stripped off in 3 seconds and I was thrown back onto the bed. Kang Ikwon’s house was no different from a cocoon that wrapped me completely and safely. So there was no way I’d have any shell to leave behind.
“Hey, Gyujin!”
From behind, the door opened and I heard Pujo hyung’s voice calling out like a whisper. I knew the worry in that voice, but I didn’t look back and said.
“It’s okay. Go back in.”
“Really?”
“Go.”
After hesitating for a moment, I heard the door close again. I slowly climbed the stairs following Kang Ikwon. Standing side by side facing him, an even stranger sense of déjà vu came. I groped at afterimages that couldn’t possibly overlap, as if possessed. It was a dark and faint memory like an outline floating on the night sea.
“You…”
“I let my guard down because you really can’t remember for shit.”
Kang Ikwon looked straight at me and took something out of his pocket. It was also a familiar object. A dull silver Zippo lighter.
“I never thought you’d recognize this one right away.”
He grabbed my chin so I couldn’t move to ask something. He opened my lips up and down and personally stuck a cigarette in. Bringing the lighter to the cigarette, Kang Ikwon said indifferently.
“Happy New Year,”
Crack—a blue flame rose from the lighter and transferred to the cigarette. Beyond the precariously flickering thin light, completely different flames roiled wildly in his black eyes.
“If it’s this kind of relationship, it’s worth trying. How about this. Do you remember?”
A slender light ignited in the darkness. Kang Ikwon closed the lid and threw the lighter. Noise and light passed behind him again. This time it was a car. Yeah, I didn’t expect it anyway. I heard a murmur. In the dull headlight covering the stairs, Kang Ikwon’s cheek glistened. It was tears.
“You…”
Kang Ikwon muttered.
“Why do you always slip away from right before my eyes?”
His voice trembled. The lighter clutched in my palm was cold as if neither Kang Ikwon’s warmth nor my warmth had ever touched it.
“How is it so easy?”
Kang Ikwon’s tears, which I saw for the second time, were different from the first. Not like pearls but like blisters, they miserably decorated his face and burst painfully. Like a beast shot by a gun, Kang Ikwon cried while panting. I couldn’t say anything and stared blankly at that sight. That unfamiliar man’s appearance I was seeing for the first time was familiar.
<To be continued in Volume 2>
