It’s been a week since I was rejected by Banye.
“Hic…….”
I wiped the tears welling up again with my sleeve while trying hard to think about something else.
Of course, it didn’t work out well.
Because right now, Banye was living with me, and just because he rejected me didn’t mean he was particularly considerate enough to leave me alone.
“Hyung, eat.”
“……Okay.”
Perhaps because I’d been bedridden for two whole days after being rejected, Banye had been interfering with everything I did since then. He especially tried to make sure I ate every meal, and didn’t give me any chance to refuse.
So lately, I’d made it a habit to hurriedly eat my meals and get into my room as quickly as possible to hide.
Banye didn’t stop me from doing that, but sometimes he made an expression like he wanted to say something but held it back. In his own way, he probably didn’t like these behaviors of mine…….
“Haah…….”
But I’m trying too, you know. I wanted to forget about Banye as quickly as possible and erase this resentment that kept bubbling up.
So today too, I pulled the blanket over my head and sniffled…… listening on infinite repeat to the songs that were my only comfort these days. (I opened NewTube because I was depressed, and creepily enough, a ‘playlist to listen to when you feel alone’ popped up, so I was listening to that.)
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] What are you doing?
But just then, I got a message from Nanneokeo.
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] You haven’t been coming to Card of Fantasy much lately
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] Is something wrong?
Well, of course…… I didn’t want to play Card of Fantasy where Banye was if I logged in. Because it throbbed every time I saw him. Just seeing his character was enough to make me have a fit, so I hadn’t even thought about turning on the game.
It had been a long time since I’d logged into the guild Discord channel too. Actually, I’d gone into the Discord channel once three days ago, and when I saw Banye talking with the guild members like nothing was wrong, I felt like my mind was splitting again, so I thought I couldn’t take it anymore and locked myself in my room just listening to music.
During that time, I’d gotten several messages from other guild members too, but I ignored them all. With Nanneokeo though, maybe because I’d met him face to face once, it was hard to ignore his messages.
In the end, after hesitating, I sent him a reply.
[Aang] Was a bit sick
[Aang] Caught a cold……
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] Are you okay now? ㅠㅠ
[Aang] Yeah I’m ok
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] That’s a relief…
But then, Seonwoo-ssi suddenly said something really sharp.
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] Actually I was worried thinking you might have fought with Banye
Since there was a lot that hit close to home, I ended up asking him back.
[Aang] Why?
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] When I ask Banye about you he keeps getting serious and won’t tell me
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] Did something happen?
[Aang] Ah
I knew I should say ‘no’ here and smooth things over. Even if the timing was a bit awkward, Min Seonwoo-ssi was the kind type, so I knew he’d accept my lie well…….
Strangely, tears welled up, and in the end I ended up rambling incoherently to Min Seonwoo-ssi.
[Aang] I did something Banye hates……
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] What?
[Aang] That’s a bit hard to say…
[Aang] So I’m thinking about quitting the game
[Nanneomukeoeyeowo] Just apologize and make up
[Aang] It’s too big of a thing to apologize for
[Aang] ……
[Aang] Just… I did something that can’t be fixed
[Aang] I did something stupid
After answering up to here, I firmly wiped away the streaming tears.
‘It really was a stupid thing to do…….’
Why did I confess like that? I especially regretted telling Banye at the end that I wanted to date him. Banye had expressed that he didn’t want to more than enough even before that.
I couldn’t erase the thought that the confession I made in a moment of impulse was the stupidest and most foolish thing…… so I hung my head.
But just then, the smartphone I’d placed on my desk vibrated with a buzz―. Startled since my smartphone usually doesn’t ring, I blinked when I saw the name on the screen.
[Nanneokeo-ssi]
We had exchanged numbers when we met, but I didn’t think he’d actually call me…… I inadvertently swiped and answered his call.
“Hello……?”
And after a brief silence, Min Seonwoo-ssi asked gently.
[Your voice…… were you crying?]
“…….”
It was a tone that would make even someone who hadn’t been crying start to cry.
I was flustered by the tears streaming down again and kept wiping my eyes and cheeks.
“N-no! Why, why did you call?”
But even I could hear that my voice was trembling terribly.
Nanneokeo didn’t point that out and just quietly listened to me sniffle. After some time passed and I seemed to have calmed down a bit, he spoke calmly again.
[I’m worried. Are you alone?]
“……Yeah…… well.”
At the question of whether I was alone, Banye outside my room came to mind, but we’d already been ignoring each other for a week now.
I picked up my smartphone and went back into the blanket cave I’d made. Only then, in a small voice that I thought wouldn’t be heard at this level, I spoke to Min Seonwoo-ssi.
“I appreciate it, but…… um…….”
I hesitated, not knowing what to say, but Min Seonwoo-ssi spoke gently as if he knew exactly what I was feeling.
“If you talk with Banye properly, it’ll be okay. When I saw you two last time, it seemed like Banye really liked you a lot too.”
It was words without malice, which made them stab into my heart even more like a dagger.
I clenched and unclenched my trembling hands as I spoke to Min Seonwoo-ssi.
“Actually, the truth is…….”
* * *
I spilled everything from my bad relationship with Sisi to how I ended up confessing to Banye. And Min Seonwoo-ssi listened to my whole story without being surprised.
“……That’s how it happened.”
[I see…….]
We talked for almost an hour, and although Min Seonwoo-ssi did ask for understanding in the middle saying [Just a moment.], he still listened to my whole story without hanging up.
Of course, even though he listened so well, after finishing the whole story I had a strong reality check thinking ‘why on earth did I tell him all this?’
But separate from my inner thoughts, Min Seonwoo-ssi listened to my story quite seriously and thought about it with me.
[It must be quite difficult living together after being rejected. It’s painful every time you see his face.]
“……Right.”
[Banye must be embarrassed too.]
I felt like those words were somehow blaming me, so I mumbled vaguely.
“Right……. So, as expected, I…… did something foolish…….”
But Min Seonwoo-ssi cut off my words in the middle and said.
[That’s not it.]
“Yes?”
[Don’t blame yourself too much. When you like someone, you can get greedy.]
“…….”
I was comforted a bit by those words, and was finally able to close my mouth that had been muttering excuses. Min Seonwoo-ssi patted me down like that and gave me some advice.
[If it’s too hard, go stay somewhere else for a few days. It seems like you need some separation.]
“……I don’t really have anywhere to go.”
[Um, like a hotel?]
“…….”
[If you don’t want to, you can stay home, but if you go somewhere alone for a few days you can clear your head and it’ll be good.]
I felt like I could breathe a little at those words. I started to think, maybe I should.
But just then, I suddenly heard a rough bang bang bang! sound of someone knocking on my door. It was definitely Banye.
“……J-just a moment! I’ll call you back!”
[Okay.]
I hastily hung up and hid my smartphone under my pillow. It was just an instinctive action for reasons I couldn’t understand.
Then I covered myself with the blanket and got up as if I’d just woken up, and just then Banye flung open the door and came in.
“What are you doing?”
“Uh, huh?”
“I knocked. Didn’t you hear me?”
“Ah……. I, I just woke up.”
“…….”
Banye looked me up and down like someone interrogating me as I stammered my answer. It seemed like he’d figured out I was lying, but fortunately there was no further questioning.
“Eat.”
“……Okay.”
And I followed Banye, who had set the dinner table, out to the kitchen and got a bit choked up.
Banye had bought the hangover soup he’d bought before, and he added this as if explaining to me.
“You haven’t been eating well lately…… You seemed to enjoy it before, so I bought it.”
“…….”
I felt like I might cry a little, so I was blinking when I ended up blurting out words without realizing it.
“……You know the reason I haven’t been eating well lately is because of you.”
Then Banye turned to look at me. I thought it would be an annoyed or cold gaze, but Banye’s expression was unexpectedly soft.
The moment I felt puzzled by how he seemed almost pleased by the resentment I was showing him, Banye opened his mouth.
“I haven’t been eating well because of hyung either, so we’re even.”
