Whether he was genuinely scared or pulling some elaborate act to avoid answering — the man trapped between the wall and my leg, unable to go anywhere, just kept his mouth clamped shut and trembled.
“Your mouth broken? Or is it your ears? For fuck’s sake, when someone asks you a question, you answer it.”
I leaned in and murmured right into his ear. I was conscious of my boyfriend behind me.
“Guess a beating is what it takes in situations like this. Right? Of course it is. Damn.”
“T-that’s because at the scene, I was in charge of—gack!”
“In charge of what. Why’d you stop mid-sentence? Someone would think an alpha was choking you out with pheromones.”
I kept pressing my face closer, applying the pressure — and he finally managed to start, but this one wouldn’t give me a straight answer either. I took a step back from the guy who was just clawing at his throat and hacking. His face was so red he looked like he might roll his eyes back and pass out any second.
This bastard is putting on an act that won’t work on a beta. Unbelievable. I stared at him in disbelief, then on second thought turned to look at my boyfriend, who was an expresser.
My eyes met his — that harmless, unknowing face. He looked even more gaunt than he had this morning, and my chest ached at the sight. Looking at him sitting in a hospital bed with that kind of face, a wave of tenderness and pity washed over me.
Right — my boyfriend is such a gentle alpha, there’s no way he’d attack someone with pheromones. Of course he wouldn’t. Besides, if he were threatening someone with pheromones strong enough to leave a person unable to breathe, even I — a beta — should be feeling some kind of pressure.
By the time I’d thought it through, the performance had apparently concluded; the man had crumpled to the floor and was dragging in ragged breaths. I turned my back on him. Watching him stay silent while pulling Hollywood-level dramatics made it clear there was nothing more to squeeze out of this one. Then I had no choice but to ask the man himself directly.
I walked up to the man who was still watching me and unlocked his phone with practiced ease. There was no point pretending I didn’t know it. The four-digit passcode was my birthday.
The screen lit up to a photo of me puckering my lips toward his cheek. I looked at the two of us in that photograph, so purely happy-looking — gnawing at my lower lip all the while — then opened the hidden app and held the phone out to him.
“I’ll be honest with you. I — that is, I……”
“Mm.”
Trying to confront him made one side of my chest sting with the guilt of a remaining conscience. The weight of it settled heavy, knowing the man in front of me had no way of guessing what this app was or what I was about to confess.
“I installed a location tracking app on your phone……”
“Ahh……”
He was a man who whispered I love you to me every single day — but could he still love the version of me who’d secretly put a tracking app on his phone? Surely every last bit of affection he had for me had dried up. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for anger — for him to accuse me of suspecting him and trying to bind him when he had never once done anything wrong.
“I’m sorry…… I was just worried about you, the world’s such a dangerous place lately and I just — that’s all it was, I was wrong……”
I was hoping as hard as I could that he’d find me pitiable and endearing enough to cut me some slack. I was prepared to accept whatever scolding or punishment came my way. I was ready to drop to my knees on the spot if that’s what it took.
“Hm? I don’t mind.”
Completely contrary to every expectation I had, the man was still looking at me with that same unbothered expression.
The fact that he wasn’t angry — when getting angry at something that inconsiderate wouldn’t have been strange at all — made my throat tighten with a sudden rush of emotion. That was just who he was. A genuinely good-hearted person who forgave just about any mistake I made.
I’ve been receiving love from this person as vast as the ocean — I should know how to give it back…… I understand that in my head. But the words were already out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“I was honest about what I did wrong. So don’t hide things from me either…… What number am I?”
“What number?”
“I’m not oblivious. So just tell me. I’ve prepared myself.”
“Mm, I’m not quite sure what you mean.”
“Those guys over there are all the same type as me. What would you have to do with people like that? It’s obvious, isn’t it.”
I’d grown up reading rooms since before I could remember, so I had a sharp eye for things. They weren’t Yuseong faction guys with a grudge against me, and they weren’t work colleagues — yet they were shedding tears over someone who was sick? It was obvious.
“Am I the second? Or the third? Or maybe……”
I need to stop crying — but the swell of grief came surging up from the back of my neck and I couldn’t hold it back.
“Gang. What are you talking about?”
“I’ve figured it out. I know who the men in this hospital room are.”
“Who are they?”
“Damn — they’re all your boyfriends, Jaeho!”
Devastatingly, it was clear that my boyfriend’s type was gangster thugs.
That was the one thing all the men gathered here had in common — wasn’t that a pretty reasonable conclusion? There had been a story on TV not long ago about an alpha linked to thirteen different people, so six including me wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. They’d all probably shown up here, unlucky as they were, worried sick about a boyfriend who wouldn’t answer their calls.
It was the conclusion I’d arrived at after working my sluggish brain as hard as it would go. This man’s face was the basis for all my reasoning.
“Guess it must be true…… seeing as you can’t answer.”
I really tried so hard. To hide the thug in me — I cut out the swearing, quit smoking. Even cut back on drinking. Where did I give myself away? No, wait — should I actually be glad I gave myself away? Is that why he started seeing me?
But damn it. Babe. This isn’t okay. Even if you’re a collector of gangsters, you still have to have some standards for looks. How could you go for guys like that…… Haah……
Whether they were shocked by my razor-sharp deduction or not, the men who had been quietly huddled started murmuring among themselves. I was trying to make out the voices — sounding equal parts baffled and frightened — when the man opened his mouth.
“Quiet.”
Whether it was their murmuring that was too loud, or my voice he found grating. He brushed back his fallen bangs and said it — flat, decisive — and even my mouth snapped shut. Because the trace of irritation in his voice felt pointed directly at me.
He told me…… he told me to be quiet……
Whether it was just me who’d been wounded or not, the room went cold and silent again. Tears, with no sense of timing whatsoever, bubbled up and spilled down my cheeks. Trying to hold them back made the corners of my mouth drag all the way down to my chin, and my face turned pitiful.
“Hic — we’ve been together three years, but when did you start seeing the others? Is it because I don’t listen well enough, hic? Or is it because I’m a beta?”
“……”
“That’s really too cruel. Just because people like us are used to living hard lives doesn’t mean we don’t get hurt. How can you play around with this many people’s feelings!”
“……”
“Sob — say something!”
The more blame and grief poured out of me toward him, the more his expression crumpled. That expression, I figured, was probably his answer to my question.
He let out a quiet sigh and opened both arms toward me.
“Come here.”
Unconsciously my feet started to move — then I caught myself and shook my head side to side.
“No. I don’t want to.”
“Come on.”
How warm and wonderful would it feel to be held in those arms. The thought kept making my heels rise off the ground, and each time I forced them back down. The two of us stood in that delicate standoff —
Crash, bang—
“Hyung!”
With a racket, the hospital room door flew open and in stumbled Bulgom, Mangchi, and Gamja, completely out of breath.
Of all the places for these idiots to barge into——!
The anger that spiked instantly melted into pure humiliation.
Ha, damn, how am I going to show my face at work tomorrow. Getting caught at the scene of almost-breaking-up because the boyfriend I’d been bragging about and singing praises of went and cheated on me.
Stuck with no way out, I scrubbed my face dry with my hands, wiping away the tear tracks.
Before I could get a single word out — what on earth are you doing following me here — all three of them dropped to their knees on the floor in a row.
“We’re sorry, hyung!”
They shouted it in perfect unison, so loudly it hurt my ears. These bastards are out here advertising that we’re gangsters. Get away from me.
“We knew a day like this would come.”
What is wrong with these lunatics. Are they saying they knew my boyfriend was going to cheat? These damn fools. I swallowed back the words climbing up my throat over and over. Don’t react. Hold it. I have to hold it.
I’d kicked out with my dress shoes without a thought for the other patients in the hospital or the CCTV inside the elevator — and yet here I was, biting my tongue and enduring, and the reason was simple. The only thing I had confessed to the man with my own mouth was that I’d secretly installed a location tracking app on his phone.
In other words — to put it plainly — I still hadn’t told my beloved boyfriend that I was a gangster!
I had kept it completely hidden from him: my past before we met, and the fact that what I called my current workplace was actually a gangster’s office. It had been an unavoidable choice if I wanted to keep a man who was perfect from head to toe.
I wanted desperately to grab the guys by the collars and throw them out of the hospital room on the spot, but I held it in and subtly sidestepped to the side, playing the part of a stranger. And then these idiots swiveled their knees toward me like they had some sixth sense.
Don’t look at me — get out!
I threw them eye signals, foot signals, and outright telepathy — but they kept their eyes down at the floor with grave expressions that did not suit them at all. I was debating whether to pretend it was an accident and kick their thighs again when their mouths detonated a bomb.
“The fact that your boyfriend and Director Kang Jaeho — the one you hated so much, hyung — are the same person! We’re so sorry we couldn’t tell you sooner!”
