The dinner plans had been made only the day before, so finding a decent restaurant was a real struggle.
Most places don’t take reservations on weekends to begin with, and trying to find somewhere to go the very next day meant I had no choice but to break into a cold sweat over it.
In the end, I was busy searching for restaurants even while eating with Cha Jae-woo nearby. Because of that, I was barely eating, and Cha Jae-woo was watching me with a displeased look on his face.
“What are you looking at so intently? Is there something interesting?”
“Oh — sorry, I’m just trying to find a restaurant. Just a moment……”
“A restaurant?”
He asked back without thinking, then followed it with an ah and landed on the answer.
“For your mother’s birthday?”
“Yeah. I’m looking at Korean table d’hôte places for now, but it’s hard to find anywhere with open reservations.”
“Korean table d’hôte? Is that what she wants to eat?”
“Not exactly — I just thought it’d be a safe choice.”
It had been so long since I’d had a meal with my mom that I couldn’t quite remember what she liked.
To be frank, we weren’t exactly close, so it was fair to say we’d never had much of a chance to know what the other liked. Even so, there was exactly one reason I’d settled on Korean table d’hôte.
When I was young, the three of us — Mom, Dad, and I — had once eaten at a Korean table d’hôte restaurant. It was one of the few happy memories I had, and the image of my mom smiling brightly that day stuck in my mind with unusual clarity.
She had been laughing so radiantly then, like she was genuinely happy.
The problem was that not just good Korean table d’hôte restaurants worth going to for a birthday, but most decent restaurants in general, were completely booked.
Still, I didn’t want to celebrate a birthday that only came once a year at some ordinary neighborhood restaurant. But I couldn’t exactly make my mom wait in a queue either.
“There’s a hyung I know who runs a Korean table d’hôte restaurant — want me to ask if there are any reserved spots available?”
“……Really? I’d be so grateful if you did!”
To me, Cha Jae-woo’s suggestion was like a single ray of light in total darkness. I nodded eagerly with my eyes lit up, and Cha Jae-woo immediately made the call.
“Hey, it’s me. You still running the restaurant, right?”
The conversation skipped right past pleasantries and got to the point. I could faintly hear surprise in the other person’s voice, which made me worried.
Seems like it might be too difficult after all. I should probably go back to searching online, I was thinking — when:
“He said he has a reservation spot.”
Cha Jae-woo had already finished the call and sent the restaurant’s location and reservation time over on message. I checked it without even realizing and my eyes went wide.
“……Hey, isn’t this the place that was opened by a chef who left a famous hotel? I heard you have to be on a waitlist for months just to get a reservation.”
“I don’t know. I just remember hearing that his hyung used to work at a hotel.”
Cha Jae-woo was indifferent about it, as if it was none of his concern — but I couldn’t help being impressed. Being the son of a wealthy family must have had something to do with it, because even his small circle of connections seemed to be filled with remarkable people.
I grabbed Cha Jae-woo’s hand without thinking and said:
“Hey, you know I love you, right?”
“……What are you on about.”
“I’ll buy you a meal sometime.”
I meant it as a genuine promise. Getting a reservation at a place like that the day before — a meal was nothing. I could easily treat him ten times over.
“……Never mind that, just finish eating. Lunch break’s almost over.”
“Oh, right.”
Unlike Cha Jae-woo, who had already finished work for the day, I had to go back to the library and work until eight. Normally I’d just accept that as the way things were — you work for what you get paid — but today my mind was a little full.
Even if I headed straight to the nearest department store the moment I clocked out, it would take an hour to get there. Department stores close at ten, so I was worried about whether I could find a decent gift in under an hour.
“Since I’m already in your debt — can I ask for one more favor?”
“What now.”
“I need to pick out a birthday gift for my mom, but I don’t know anything about luxury goods…… Oh, and if you’re busy, you can say no.”
The words had slipped out before I thought about it, and then it hit me belatedly that Cha Jae-woo had been run so ragged lately that he looked like he was down to skin and bones. He already looked so exhausted right now — asking him to come with me to a department store on top of everything seemed like too much.
But contrary to my expectations, Cha Jae-woo agreed without any fuss.
“Just meet me at the department store after you get off.”
“……Thank you. I really only have you.”
With all my worries resolved, I broke into a bright smile and went back to eating.
Cha Jae-woo ate the way he always did — barely picking at his food. He’d helped me back to back, so I’d have to treat him to something he actually liked for lunch for a while.
Going back to that Japanese restaurant we went to together before sounded good, or trying somewhere new could be nice too. I kept eating while running through a few nearby restaurants in my head.
***
After work, we met at the department store and made our way briskly through the luxury section.
Just as I’d expected, I didn’t know the first thing about luxury goods — without Cha Jae-woo, I would’ve been breaking into a cold sweat until the department store closed. Even with the staff kindly recommending and explaining everything, it all looked the same to me.
“For someone your mother’s age, I think this one would be better.”
“Then I’ll go with this one.”
I took Cha Jae-woo’s opinion wholeheartedly.
That was why I’d brought him in the first place, and his sense of aesthetics was far more useful than mine — even though I had once studied art myself.
Being someone in the arts, Cha Jae-woo seemed to have a condition where he simply could not stand anything unattractive or poorly made. His eye for aesthetics was as demanding as his palate, and anything short of a certain standard wouldn’t pass.
“That one’s nice.”
If Cha Jae-woo said it was nice, it genuinely was nice. With full and unwavering trust in that, I quietly swiped my card.
A purchase this size would mean living lean for a while — but that was fine. If it came to it, I could always cash out a savings account or two.
And so, thanks to Cha Jae-woo’s efforts, we’d finished all the shopping within thirty minutes of arriving at the department store. I grabbed my shopping bags in both hands and threw my arms around Cha Jae-woo’s waist.
“Wow, Jae-woo. I really only have you.”
“……What is wrong with you.”
Cha Jae-woo recoiled and pushed me away, but I clung on like a leech and refused to let go. After goofing around like that for a while, we made our way to the restaurant floor in the basement of the department store.
I offered to buy him a proper expensive meal since he’d done so much for me all day, but Cha Jae-woo turned it down.
He said eating out was the same wherever you went anyway — and in the end, we each had a bowl of warm rice noodle soup before heading home.
***
The long-awaited Saturday — I was up and moving diligently from the morning.
In the evening I had to go pick up my mom in time for the dinner reservation, so I got up early, washed up, and headed to the hair salon I’d booked.
Some might think it was all a bit much just for a meal with my mom — but it had been a long time since we’d seen each other, and I wanted to show her I was doing well and living properly.
So I put on the suit I’d been saving, got my hair tidied up, and headed to my mom’s place in time for when we’d agreed to meet. In both hands were the gift Cha Jae-woo and I had picked out together, and a bouquet of flowers.
Since my hands were full, I tucked the bouquet temporarily into the gift bag and rang the doorbell. The nerves made the tips of my fingers go cold and my stomach churn.
But as absurd as it was — the door didn’t open.
I rang the doorbell again just in case, and it was the same, so I called her. The ringtone sounded, then cut off abruptly.
What?
I was genuinely bewildered. Still, hoping against hope, I called several more times. When she didn’t pick up, I sent a message too — asking if everything was alright, letting her know I was here to pick her up.
I kept standing there in front of the door. I waited endlessly until an hour had passed.
There was still no word from my mom. If I didn’t leave right now, I wouldn’t make it to the restaurant in time for the reservation. But that wasn’t what mattered right now.
Why isn’t she reachable? I’d been wondering — and then I drifted into thought. Then suddenly, the memory of my mom’s face the last time I’d seen her came back to me — how unusually gaunt she had looked.
What if she suddenly fell ill and collapsed?
Once that dark thought crept in, the anxiety swelled beyond my control. After going back and forth in my head, I typed in the passcode and let myself in.
“Mom? Mom!”
Afraid she might have collapsed somewhere inside, I went through the whole apartment in a panic. I checked the living room, the bedroom, and searched every corner including the bathroom and the balcony. But she was nowhere.
What do I do now?
I picked up my phone with trembling hands. And then it hit me — I realized I knew almost nothing about my mom.
Who she’d been seeing lately, who her close acquaintances were — I had no idea.
In the end, after going back and forth in my head, I called my dad. My mom and dad had divorced a long time ago, but when something might be wrong with my mom, he was the only person I could think to turn to.
What if Dad doesn’t know either? What do I do then? The anxiety made one corner of my chest go cold, and cold sweat broke out on its own.
But it was right at that moment. From behind me came the sound of someone entering the passcode, and the door opened.
I slowly turned around, and a familiar face saw me and opened their eyes wide in surprise.
“What — who is it? Yun-su?”
“……Mom.”
I ended the call I’d been making to my dad and turned to face her. Seeing my mom standing there perfectly fine, the tension drained out of me all at once.
I felt relieved — and angry at the same time. What on earth had happened that she’d been completely unreachable like this?
