After getting home from work and finishing my shower, I was sprawled out on the sofa with nothing to watch, idly scrolling through YouTube when an idol shorts video popped up in my algorithm — and I paused.
Living together had been going so smoothly that I’d almost forgotten — wasn’t this whole thing supposed to be about helping Cha Jae-woo find his lost creative inspiration, or something like that?
But the way things were going now, no matter how I looked at it, I was the only one benefiting. I’d come home from work to a delicious dinner already laid out, he’d clean up and do the dishes, and the housework too——
Come to think of it, I’m the easygoing type, so I only cleaned once a week — but Cha Jae-woo couldn’t stand that and started cleaning every day, which meant there was nothing left for me to do.
Thinking about it somehow made me feel strangely serious, so I set my phone down and sank into thought for a moment.
Was this just… Cha Jae-woo living as a housekeeping service at my place?
We’d gone to the manga café together, but after that, there didn’t seem to be any noticeable change in him.
I felt vaguely guilty about it, so I figured I should at least develop the ability to immediately tell which parts were good whenever Cha Jae-woo brought me a newly composed song.
For that, I’d need to know what kind of songs are trending these days first, right?
I picked up my phone again and started playing the stage videos of the idol group said to be the most popular right now, one by one.
I’d been dating Cha Jae-woo for eight years, but that didn’t mean I actively kept up with trending songs. I was the type to be picky about music to begin with, and that tendency only got worse after I started dating a composer.
If it wasn’t a song Cha Jae-woo composed, I basically didn’t listen to idol music at all. Because of that, I needed a little time to adjust to what was currently popular.
So there I was, listening through all kinds of idol songs, when Cha Jae-woo, done with the dishes, came over.
“What are you watching so intently?”
“……Just, some shorts.”
I muttered vaguely and swiped past the screen. It felt somehow embarrassing to tell him I was deliberately listening to current idol songs because of him.
So I just tapped on a random video, and one titled “The Typical Physique of Today’s Idols” started playing.
Watching a string of idols with particularly impressive builds appear one after another, I found myself genuinely impressed without even meaning to.
“Wow, look at this. Today’s idols really have great bodies.”
Maybe it was because I’d been listening to idol songs back to back — my algorithm was completely flooded with related videos.
I forgot that I’d been trying to brush it off and got absorbed in the videos playing one after another.
“I thought all idols were skinny, but I guess that’s not the case.”
It was an offhand remark, but the more I focused on the videos, the more genuinely envious I became.
The idol in the video had a large build and broad shoulders for an idol. Probably a physique built up through years of weightlifting.
I was so focused on the video that without thinking, I glanced down at my own arm — and was met with a pale, unremarkable body.
It wasn’t like anyone would call me scrawny, but compared to a professionally managed physique, I couldn’t help but feel relatively lacking.
“I’m the type where muscle and weight just don’t stick, and these guys are young and built. I’m so jealous.”
“…….”
“Maybe I should be reborn as an idol in my next life.”
I’d added it as a joke, but Cha Jae-woo said nothing. I wondered if he was bothered because I was praising idols from a rival agency, so I was about to look up when —
“……Those aren’t even recent idols, you know.”
“Huh?”
“I’ve seen them in person before. They were guys in their mid-twenties. Old-timers.”
His cold voice scraped against my ear like a blade. Cha Jae-woo continued, his words genuinely laced with irritation.
“The type that wouldn’t be strange retiring tomorrow. Washed-up relics.”
Caught off guard by this sudden age-based attack, I blinked blankly before belatedly reeling in shock. I couldn’t believe this was the mentality of someone who made a living composing songs for idols.
“Hey, your mind might be twenty but your body is late twenties, okay? If those guys are old-timers, then both you and I should’ve already passed on and been buried in a grave by now.”
I had no idea where to even begin, but as his one and only roommate, I did my best to advise him.
“And please, watch your mouth. Their fans could bury you in some remote mountain somewhere and you’d have nothing to say for yourself.”
“…….”
Cha Jae-woo said nothing to the very end, and that was precisely what made me more uneasy.
Surely he didn’t talk like this in front of other composers, right?
No, composers aside — surely he didn’t say this in front of the actual idols themselves? Right?
I’d always known Cha Jae-woo had poor social skills from being raised so sheltered, but I never could have dreamed it was this bad.
“You understood what I said, right?”
“……I don’t know, I don’t care.”
I placed both hands on his shoulders as if to calm him down, but he immediately shook them off and hardened his expression.
“Stop listening to songs by those kids and just listen to the ones I composed.”
Cha Jae-woo stared at me with eyes that gleamed sharply.
“They won’t even compare to that garbage you were listening to earlier.”
The way he added that with such confidence — he was clearly very sure of himself. I found myself nodding along in agreement before I even realized it.
He strode off to his room just like that, then came back out to the living room carrying his laptop.
The way he handed me the headset and pulled up the program — in that moment, he was less like a twenty-year-old brat and not all that different from the twenty-eight-year-old professional composer Cha Jae-woo.
“This is the first track.”
At Cha Jae-woo’s words, I quickly put on the headset and listened carefully to what played. Maybe it was because his mind was still twenty — there was a difference from the songs the original Cha Jae-woo used to play for me.
How to put it… it had a rawer, more unpolished charm?
Still, Cha Jae-woo was Cha Jae-woo. It was just a difference in feel — the quality hadn’t dropped noticeably.
“……What do you think?”
As soon as I finished listening to all the tracks he had prepared, Cha Jae-woo asked. I kept quiet for a moment to gather my thoughts.
When I was young and knew nothing, I used to busy myself heaping on all kinds of flowery praise — but I knew better now. What Cha Jae-woo wanted was something more efficient. I passed him the notes I’d been jotting down while listening to each track and said,
“The second and fifth tracks feel the most like title-track material. The first and fourth are good too, but they have a similar vibe to the B-side you gave to that rookie group from K Entertainment that debuted not long ago.”
Eight years of dating had produced concise, precise feedback. The grown-up Cha Jae-woo didn’t want to hear which part of a song was good or in what way — he wanted to know whether a track was title-track material or not.
That was what I’d written in the notes I gave him too. Which track was best suited as the title track, and which ones were better saved as B-sides.
“……That’s it?”
My eyes met Cha Jae-woo’s as he gripped the notes I’d handed him. The emotion written plainly in his eyes was clear disappointment.
“Nothing else to say?”
I paused at his words. Had the feedback I gave him been less useful than he’d hoped? Since I wasn’t exactly the main target demographic for the idol market, maybe I hadn’t been able to give him the kind of feedback he was looking for.
But even if that were the case, there was nothing I could do about it.
“Sorry, but unlike you who stopped at twenty, I’ve aged eight more years since then. It’s only natural that my instincts have dulled a bit.”
I set down the headset, got up, and crossed my arms as I added,
“So if you were expecting, like, a youthful sensibility or whatever — that’s going to be a problem——”
“……I get it.”
Cha Jae-woo cut me off. Then he grabbed my arm, sat me back down, and pressed the headset back into my hands.
“I get it, so keep listening.”
It seemed he still had more tracks prepared. It was a little odd, but I nodded and put the headset back on for now.
Even so, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was slightly off the entire time I listened to the remaining tracks.
Cha Jae-woo’s expression wasn’t great either.
* * *
I got up to get ready for work and stretched, and the space beside me was empty.
Cha Jae-woo usually woke up earlier than me to make breakfast, so I assumed today was the same. But even after stepping out of the room, there was no sign of him.
Just in case, I checked the kitchen and even the bathroom, but Cha Jae-woo was nowhere.
“Did he go out?”
Today was a weekday, so Cha Jae-woo should have to go into the library too — where had he gone so early in the morning?
I was curious, but Cha Jae-woo wasn’t a small child, and I figured he’d be back soon. Even so, in the kitchen, my portion of toast, eggs, ham, salad, and vegetable juice had already been set out.
I ate the breakfast Cha Jae-woo had prepared, finished the dishes, then went to the bathroom to wash up. I was drying my hair after the shower when I heard the front door open.
I stopped mid-blow-dry and came out to the living room. Cha Jae-woo, who had apparently just gotten back, was crossing the living room and our eyes met.
“Where did you go so early in the morning?”
“Worked out.”
“……Worked out? At this hour?”
I was floored by Cha Jae-woo’s indifferent reply. As someone who comes home from work and crashes and falls asleep, morning exercise was nothing but a pipe dream. Being able to do even a few stretches at home was already considered lucky, wasn’t it?
“But it’s not even New Year’s — why the sudden workout?”
I was still sprawled on the sofa with some time to spare, asking Cha Jae-woo who had just stepped out of the shower.
“You don’t even really like exercising.”
“I feel like I’ve been neglecting myself too much lately.”
The comment about neglecting himself made me feel inexplicably guilty on his behalf. No matter how I looked at it, the one neglecting themselves was clearly me, not him.
But I had absolutely no intention of waking up before dawn to go work out with Cha Jae-woo. If I had that kind of time, I’d sleep even one more minute.
“Well, good luck — just don’t come asking me to join you.”
“……Wasn’t even hoping for that.”
Cha Jae-woo let out a sigh with an oddly irritated look on his face. I gave his shoulder a pat of encouragement and headed to my room to get ready for work.
