A popup notification appeared at the top of the screen, and my follower count changed to 1.
I immediately looked at the culprit.
“Hm? Is that you?”
He nodded, phone in hand.
“You’re on ByeolStar too?”
Kwon Wookyung had had an SNS account in the past. He never posted anything on it, so it was only ever used to get tagged by me and others, or to send DMs. This wasn’t that account either. When I went into the profile, there was a proper photo set as the profile picture, plenty of posts, and the follower count was….
“3.53 million…?”
I stared at him, far more taken aback than before.
“It’s mostly the agency running the account. I barely go on it.”
The following count was 1. My newly created account. True to a celebrity’s official account, it had apparently been at 0 followings until just now.
“Is it okay to follow me from this one?”
“…It’s my account.”
Kwon Wookyung looked at me as if asking what the problem was.
No, it’s just — you’re the only one, so it sticks out like crazy.
I was briefly taken aback, but since he said it was fine, I hit follow too. My account’s friend count had now changed to 1. Same for Kwon Wookyung’s account.
“Don’t you have a private account? Don’t celebrities communicate through private accounts aside from their official ones?”
“No.”
“What about the one you used in high school?”
“It probably still exists.”
“…You really have no friends, do you.”
If anyone looked at Kwon Wookyung’s following list, they’d probably wonder what this empty account even was. I switched my account to private for now.
I’m just a regular person with nothing to show anyway, but it was to prevent any unexpected trouble.
Then I went through the feed packed onto Kwon Wookyung’s account, checking from the most recent post one by one. Editorial shoot results, behind-the-scenes photos, a poster for a film he’d recently shot, a casual group shot with the lead cast, advertising photos… no matter how much I scrolled, it went on and on.
There was almost no caption on any of the photos, but the number of likes and comments was staggering.
“You’ve really lived hard.”
Records of the time that had passed without my knowing filled the feed, each one more dazzling than the last.
The Kwon Wookyung who had once questioned whether he even wanted to be an actor was gone, and in his place stood an actor who had firmly carved his name into people’s minds. It was a remarkable achievement.
“Lived hard?”
“Yeah. ByeolStar is basically a career portfolio at this point.”
It would be a lie to say I didn’t feel even the tiniest pang of inadequacy. Especially since it was being held up next to my own account, frozen in time.
“I can’t do ballet anymore.”
I said it out of nowhere, as casually as I could manage. It was something I hadn’t even been able to tell my family yet — somewhere between a declaration and a vow — but for some reason it felt like something I could say to Wookyung.
“I could, technically, if I wanted to… but I don’t want to.”
The stage I’d wanted to stand on was no longer within reach anyway.
Of course, I could set the goal aside and just find joy in the dancing itself. But I would never be able to reach the level of beauty I wanted to express…… I just didn’t want to compromise.
“I might be too greedy, but I don’t want to leave myself with some pathetic lingering attachment. What’s over is over.”
I put deliberate emphasis on the words, pressing my tongue against the syllables.
Unless someday I miss it unbearably, or some other reason brings me back to ballet — but now wasn’t that time.
“Why are you making that face?”
I’d gone out of my way to lay it all out like it didn’t bother me, and Kwon Wookyung’s expression was a sight to behold.
I’m the one who’s supposed to be sad — why are you the one looking like that?
“Don’t.”
An expression like someone had just stabbed his heart with a knife.
Just as I was about to playfully tease him out of that grave look, something slid down my cheek.
Huh……?
Before I could even raise my hand, Kwon Wookyung’s hand was already against my cheek.
At his touch, the tear spread softly along its path.
…When was the last time I cried?
I sat there blankly, entertaining that foolish question. It had been so long I genuinely couldn’t remember.
The moment I became truly aware that I was crying, tears spilled over as if they’d been waiting for permission.
Like they’d made up their mind to pour out ten years’ worth all at once, they fell and fell without stopping. A wrenching ache rose in my chest, delayed.
“Hey, let go… hh…….”
I tried to bow my head out of embarrassment, but the hand cupping my face wouldn’t come away.
Crying weakly in front of a friend who’s been out there living just fine — this is pretty pathetic of me.
But that hand was warmer than sunlight, and foolishly, I ended up leaning into that warmth. The fact that my vision was too blurred to make out his expression was, oddly, a relief.
Kwon Wookyung watched quietly while I cried, then pulled out a tissue. But he didn’t hand it to me.
“What are you doing….”
“Stay still.”
With a very serious face, he carefully dabbed at the corners of my eyes.
“…It tickles.”
Like Haeyong’s fur brushing lightly against me.
His fingertips moved delicately past the corner of my eye and grazed my lashes.
As I blinked, his fingertip must have caught the tips of my lashes, because his fingers trembled ever so slightly.
“…….”
I lifted my lowered eyelids — and came face to face with Kwon Wookyung’s eyes, straight on.
Huh…… oh……?
If I breathed in too deeply, I felt like I’d brush against the fine hairs on his skin.
His face is… really close.
His eyes are really close too, so that’s a bit……
The moment a tingle ran up the back of my neck, I quickly slid my gaze away.
And this time, his lips came into view.
Did his lips always look like that……?
I whipped my head away. My heart was pounding so loud I felt like Kwon Wookyung could hear it. It felt like even the slightest shift of my body would mean touching him.
…What even is this atmosphere?
One thing was certain — it wasn’t the kind I could handle.
I instinctively cast around for something to say.
“I’ve got snot coming out.”
I said it deliberately, bluntly, and snatched the clean tissue right out of his hand.
Then I turned away and blew my nose — hard. Honk. Honk.
A ridiculous sound rang out several times, like a loud fart.
The strangely sticky air was broken by the unpleasant noise.
“Phew, thought I couldn’t breathe.”
After blowing my nose to my satisfaction, I announced that I was going to wash my face, and naturally excused myself.
“Ha…….”
Only then did my heart settle. I turned on the tap, using the sound of rushing water to cover the enormous sigh escaping me, and looked in the mirror.
A face that had obviously been crying. Red around the eyes, red at the tip of my nose.
My heartbeat was still unsteady.
It’s because I showed him something embarrassing. That’s all, I told myself firmly.
Still, it was far better than crying in front of my parents and breaking their hearts. Wookyung and I had grown up together seeing each other at our worst. We were practically like brothers. It was just embarrassing to show him such a one-sidedly foolish side of myself now that we were grown up… that was all it was. That was why.
Having convinced myself, I washed my face, erased every trace of tears, and returned to my seat looking perfectly composed.
Kwon Wookyung had picked his book back up. I threw myself onto the sofa and steered the conversation elsewhere in my usual tone.
“How did you even end up becoming an actor? You seemed like a completely different person.”
He answered without lifting his eyes from the book.
“Does that seem strange?”
“It’s not that — it’s just that you don’t even smile in front of me, but in front of a camera you smile just fine. And you talk so well.”
I’d said it without much thought, but as I spoke, the nuance came out oddly.
Kind of like I’m sulking about it. Wait — am I actually sulking?
“Do you like that kind of thing?”
“What… it’s not about liking or not liking it. I just find it interesting.”
I glossed over it vaguely. He picked up his steaming cup and slowly sipped his coffee. He seemed to be choosing what to say.
“It’s all acting, after all. You can think of actor-me as acting too.”
“What does that even mean. Is this the professional mindset?”
“Thinking of it that way makes everything easier to deal with.”
“Does that include doing the cheek heart too?”
“…Stop.”
When I brought up the cheek heart again, Kwon Wookyung covered his face with his hand. This was an expression I knew well.
Cute.
Feeling at ease, I let that word drift through my head — then startled at myself for thinking it.
He was very good-looking, and sure, when he was little, there were aspects of him that were cute — but for a fully grown adult Kwon Wookyung, it was kind of… a weird thing to think, wasn’t it?
Sexy, decadent — words like that, the kind his fans used to describe him, were one thing.
Thinking back to his stone-faced teenage years, even those words were funny, but honestly they suited him now. His features hadn’t changed as he grew, but the particular calmness and elegance he carried had matured, giving him a strangely dark and secretive air.
“I’m going to take a call. It’s the company.”
“Sure.”
Kwon Wookyung stepped away to answer a sudden call from his manager.
In the meantime, I dropped a message in the group chat with my old classmates — [made a new ByeolStar account] — and shared my new username. Each time someone checked it and followed me, I followed them back.
The number in my friends list kept climbing, and a notification came in saying Kim Daehee had tagged me again in that photo she’d posted — ‘daehee.kkim has tagged you and 1 other.’
Choi Seonho: wait wookyung was ur first mutual??
Choi Seonho: why does he have his official account????
Kim Minji: how is wookyung ur number one follower???
Kim Minji: r u with him rn??
Me: yeah
Kim Minji: omg…
