After a long time, I slept deeply without any dreams. No damn alliance leader, no abandoned hospital. It was even cozy. Are good hotel beds really something special? I tried to burrow deeper into the bed.
When I was hovering between sleep and wakefulness, the mattress felt unusually firm. I tried twisting my body this way and that, but it wouldn’t twist easily.
Are the bedclothes heavy?
The moment I opened my eyes while thinking that, I blinked in surprise at the face before me.
Why is Kim Haewon here?
I tried my best to assess the situation. My arms were wrapped around Kim Haewon’s waist, and our legs were tangled together. It wasn’t just me. Kim Haewon was cradling my head with one arm as a pillow, and his other arm was wrapped around my waist. The firm warmth I had felt wasn’t the bed—it was Kim Haewon’s body.
‘How did this happen?’
I tried to assess the situation without moving a single finger. My memory ended with finally succeeding at age verification after much struggle, but ultimately not being able to see the content because it had been deleted, making a fuss alone, and then collapsing and falling asleep.
But why did it turn out like this? Did Kim Haewon perhaps attack me in my sleep? But for that to be the case, I was clinging to him way too much. Surely I didn’t attack him? As a manifestation of my unconscious?
‘First, let me slip away before Kim Haewon wakes up.’
I tried carefully to extricate our tangled legs first. Since espers have sensitive senses, I had to be extremely careful. The moment I thought one leg had slipped out smoothly, he suddenly pulled me close.
“Huk!”
“When you were attacking someone lying still, you had no problem, but now you’re trying to run away like a little mouse?”
“Wh-when did I!”
“Are you going to deny it?”
I’m screwed. I had hoped it wasn’t true, but I really did attack him. How did I end up attacking Kim Haewon? What was I even thinking? How far did we go? As I looked at him with confused eyes, Kim Haewon continued without any hint of amusement.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to say you don’t remember?”
“Th-that’s not it…”
“Then what is it?”
Kim Haewon asked while tightening his arm around my waist. The distance between him and me was very close. I lowered my gaze and answered.
“I was really tired yesterday and… there were all sorts of things that happened. During that time… when I get exhausted, my memory sometimes evaporates like a hangover. Isn’t that sad? So unfortunately…”
I lowered the corners of my eyes as much as possible and trailed off. Kim Haewon was still looking at me with an indifferent expression. As if the explanation was insufficient.
“Really.”
I emphasized once more. It was no different from begging him to believe me. Kim Haewon looked at me like that, then turned his head and continued.
“I can’t help it. Since you insist you don’t remember.”
“Insist? I really don’t remember! Did I do something really wrong? If you tell me, I’ll sincerely apologize. I’m sorry for whatever I did in my sleep.”
“You said you don’t remember at all what you did.”
“Yes…”
Kim Haewon’s tone was ambiguous—neither angry nor not angry. But I could only shrink. Kim Haewon suddenly pulled my hand and placed it around his neck.
“Wh-what are you doing!”
I shouted, but Kim Haewon climbed on top of me just like that. I was so startled I could only blink. His firm arms were supporting him on either side of my face—if not for that, our lips would have collided.
“This is what you did. Park Garam-ssi did this to me.”
“Huh?”
“You suddenly pulled someone who was lying still into your arms and wouldn’t let go, and why was your sleep-talking so severe, wrapping around my body like a snake…”
I removed my hand from Kim Haewon’s neck and hurriedly covered his mouth. Kim Haewon obediently stopped talking and just stared at me quietly.
“I-it was a mistake. So I’m sorry… I-I’ll make sure this never happens again.”
Kim Haewon’s eyes narrowed. As if displeased, he bit my hand.
“Ah! Why are you biting me!”
“Is that all?”
“Then what do you want me to do…”
Now I was starting to feel wronged too. Being scolded as soon as I woke up for something I don’t even remember. I was thinking it would have been better to have a nightmare instead, when Kim Haewon removed my hand.
“Did you unconsciously want to touch me? Or did it not matter who was in front of you?”
At Kim Haewon’s question, I thought carefully. Did it not matter who it was? Actually, I’d never sleep-talked like this before. I fumbled with my words and continued.
“I’ve never done this before… But it’s also a bit much to say I did it while fully conscious that you’re Kim Haewon the esper… So, I mean, I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“Does it feel bad? Being like this with me right now? Did you feel bad when you woke up too?”
“No, it wasn’t like that.”
Before I realized it was Kim Haewon, I had thought it felt really good. A bit firm but cozy, and I even felt warmth. The quality of sleep was good too. I felt a bit awkward about lying, so I continued hesitantly. I felt completely like a sinner.
“If I’d felt bad, I would have woken up. But I slept well. It’s really the first time. I really don’t know why I did that to Kim Haewon the esper either. Just let it go this once…”
Kim Haewon poured himself onto me. It literally felt like pouring. He kissed me. The moment he made contact urgently, I thought it was a bit rough. Taking advantage of my startled frozen state, Kim Haewon gently invaded my mouth.
I twisted my body a little, but immediately my face was held by his large hand. I couldn’t think straight from the overwhelming kiss. It felt like my entire mouth had been taken. I had no idea what this feeling was. Soft, and strange.
Kim Haewon bit my lower lip to make me open my mouth wider. I held back the rising breaths with all my might. I didn’t know how to breathe while kissing. I tried pushing his shoulder, but Kim Haewon didn’t budge. Instead, he wrapped around my escaping tongue more persistently and sucked it lewdly.
As soon as our lips parted, I was too busy letting out my pent-up breath to think. It felt like all the breath I couldn’t release and the heat were rushing to my face.
“A-are you crazy! Why did you suddenly kiss me!”
“It wasn’t a mistake for me. I don’t do things like that.”
“…”
“So it means be careful from now on.”
“B-but you kissed me for that?”
Kim Haewon’s saliva still remained on my lips. I wiped it roughly with my sleeve while glaring at him. Kim Haewon looked quite confident.
“Fine, let’s say I was wrong last night. But even so, you can’t just suddenly k-kiss someone like that! Without saying anything!”
“Park Garam-ssi did it without saying anything too.”
“I was unconscious!”
“Isn’t that worse? At least I was aware of what I was doing.”
“Can you simply compare them? Hugging is something we do when we’re guiding too. Kissing is different.”
“So Park Garam-ssi is saying it’s okay to hug or hold hands anytime without warning when unconscious or half-asleep?”
“Of course not!”
Kim Haewon came right up to my nose. Our noses almost touched. I took a breath and couldn’t say anything again. Kim Haewon just looked at me with those blue eyes. I slightly avoided his gaze, then met his eyes again.
I felt wronged that my lips were stolen like this. I also couldn’t understand why he kept getting angry about me hugging him a bit when he’d said he liked me.
“If you have something to say, say it.”
“What would I say? When you’ll just be sarcastic and argue back.”
“Are you angry?”
“You’re the one who’s angry, Kim Haewon-ssi. Getting all petulant first thing in the morning just because I hugged you a bit! I mean, what’s the big deal? If you didn’t like it, you could have just pushed me aside and slept over there, but you stir-fry people like fried rice when you wake up in the morning! Are you asking if I’m angry? Are you kidding?”
I smacked Kim Haewon’s shoulder and pushed him away. Unlike earlier when he didn’t budge like a concrete wall, now when I pushed, he moved away from me as much as I pushed.
“Did you dislike it that much that you’re this angry? The kiss with me.”
“…”
Did I dislike the kiss? What I said didn’t mean that. So what I dislike is, I mean what I dislike is…
I couldn’t answer because I didn’t even know what I disliked about this situation. Then he too didn’t say anything, just looked at me, then got up. His expression had hardened in a slightly different sense than before.
“I made a big mistake. I’ll make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
“…”
Kim Haewon said while turning around. His tone had changed considerably from before. As if everything he’d done until now was just a joke, the slight warmth that had been there disappeared and it felt cold. I couldn’t continue speaking and just moved my lips. Kim Haewon left the bedroom just like that.
I sat on the bed and roughly tousled my hair. I sat still and organized what I wanted to say to Kim Haewon.
So what I was angry about wasn’t the fact that he kissed me. It wasn’t that, I wasn’t angry… I felt hurt.
I was displeased with his interrogating attitude when he had let me hug him and sleep like that, slept so well together, and then acted as if last night wasn’t happy at all and was only uncomfortable.
As soon as my thoughts were organized, I bolted up from my seat. Then I confidently walked out of the bedroom.
