The place we landed was the research institute of the Chinese Esper Association where they had originally planned to take Ryu Heegang. Just like in Korea, it was structured with research buildings and a medical center attached, so the injured could receive treatment quickly.
Since I only had minor burns, I was treated quickly and came out to the lobby. There seemed to be many injured from the battle with Pamundong, as there weren’t enough hospital rooms. Of course, most of the injured were espers from Pamundong.
The SS-class espers had no injuries at all. Even Akutagawa Yu, who had arrived latest, apparently returned straight to America once his work was done.
“I guess being heartless is also an SS-class characteristic.”
I muttered while rubbing my cheek with the ice pack I’d received from a nurse. The lobby was crowded with people. The smell of disinfectant, blood, and that distinctive hospital odor mixed together to create a gloomy feeling.
Kim Haewon was nowhere to be seen. I massaged my cheek until it went numb.
Not long after, the plane we had originally come on also arrived. Ryu Heegang headed straight to the confinement space prepared at the research institute. There were even medical staff who burst into tears as they entered the hospital upon seeing the changed appearance of their hero.
Having the translator device was very convenient in many ways. It was because I could hear everything that people from other countries’ management bureaus with minor injuries were saying. Even though I hadn’t set any specific language settings, it was amazing how it recognized each country’s language and interpreted it right away.
{I’m telling you, it’s the first time I’ve seen Esper Kim Haewon’s eyes blaze like that. Is it because of his pair guide after all?}
{Come on. That’s part of it, but isn’t it because of Esper Ryu Heegang? The higher-ups said to capture Suo Weiqian alive, but he just released Ryu Heegang right away.}
{As if telling him to take revenge.}
{I think it was the right choice. Suo Weiqian would have slipped away again. That sly snake.}
{Pamundong will probably be dissolved, right?}
{We’ll have to see. China’s being ambiguous again. I wonder how much they’ve got on them. Tsk tsk.}
The people continued talking excitedly as if the current political situation was extremely interesting. They were no different from readers leaving comments below a novel.
I couldn’t pull myself together. So many things had happened that I didn’t know how the day had passed. In any case, we found the missing Ryu Heegang, and he didn’t go on a rampage. However, his condition wasn’t very good.
I had been kidnapped and returned, but I had clearly confirmed that neither my pair esper nor the Management Bureau had any faith in me. Moreover, no matter how wicked they were, two people had died right before my eyes. Their necks snapped and torn.
It was a different feeling from when Jeong Sanghyeop and Han Miyeon died from poison. It really felt like murder. I recalled Ryu Heegang’s hand trembling as if convulsing. Did Ryu Heegang really want to kill Suo Weiqian? If he returned to normal, what would he think about having killed Suo Weiqian? Why did Kim Haewon make him choose that?
The excuse that it was because they couldn’t know who the Pamundong spy was didn’t hold water. It was highly likely it was revenge for what they had done to Ryu Heegang. However, it wasn’t certain whether that was what Ryu Heegang truly wanted, or what the other SS-class espers wanted. It couldn’t have been Kim Haewon’s decision alone.
Suo Weiqian’s death was a kind of warning. If they touched SS-class espers again, they would definitely repay them with death, even if it meant ignoring orders from above. For some reason, I felt a chill and trembled.
The fear still remained throughout my body. It felt like it had become tiny debris flowing through my blood vessels. It still felt like Suo Weiqian would pop out again and threaten me. But there was nowhere to lean on. There were only strangers all around.
‘I want to go back.’
To Korea, to my home, to Guide Department 17 where I used to be, to the days as a C-class guide when every day was the same.
But there wasn’t a single thing I could control. I just sat there mechanically listening to the mechanically interpreted words, sitting still. Not a single person paid attention to me, and no one spoke to me. I just sat there watching people come and go.
‘What am I even doing here right now?’
Everything I had done became laughable in an instant. Actually, Kim Haewon’s actions were consistent in a way. He always followed principles almost pedantically. The Association always wanted logical things, rational things, things that fit the rules.
Yet he would occasionally unsettle my heart with warm words, saying I did well, saying my past time wasn’t in vain. He would lift my spirits with words he would never usually say, then crush them in an instant.
That’s why it hurt more. If only he hadn’t done that from the beginning. I couldn’t understand why he kept making me feel unsettled, back and forth like this.
“How annoying.”
“What is?”
“Huh?”
I looked up in surprise. Kim Haewon was right in front of me. He had appeared without any sign. I shrunk my widened eyes back to their normal size and grumbled while looking down.
“Just talking to myself.”
A sullen tone came out without my realizing it. Kim Haewon sat down in the empty seat next to me.
“I heard the radio.”
“…Yes.”
“I heard everything you said to provoke Suo Weiqian as well.”
It meant he had heard all the various things I had babbled, pretending to know about their organization. In Kim Haewon’s eyes, I would have become an even more suspicious person. I had no words to defend myself. That was the best I could do at the time.
I continued speaking while tormenting my fingers as if removing hangnails.
“I’m not involved with some organization like Suo Weiqian said. It’s just visible to me. Certain scenes. Sometimes I see them in dreams, sometimes I see them before my eyes.”
“……”
“It’s like a novel—I just see the storyline. Sometimes what I’ve seen changes. Sometimes I see Kim Haewon-ssi, sometimes I see Suo Weiqian or those people.”
“……”
“The reason I was right about Esper Jeong Sanghyeop, and this incident too—it’s all because of that.”
Kim Haewon said nothing. He probably wouldn’t believe me. He would release informants to find the hidden details I wasn’t telling and dig into my background. But even doing that, there would be nothing to gain. That was everything.
“It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me. But it’s all true. This is everything I can say.”
“If you can say it now, why did you say you couldn’t say it then?”
“What do you mean?”
“Didn’t you say you couldn’t reveal the source? Over the radio.”
I definitely did. When he asked if I could speak, I struck downward twice with my finger. It felt like that’s what I should do. But the situation only kept getting worse, and distrust toward me erupted from here and there.
I continued speaking while turning my gaze to a completely different direction.
“Honestly, I had no intention of telling you. It seemed like Kim Haewon-ssi wouldn’t understand anyway. I thought doing it that way, even if you suspected my identity, you would at least believe the information I gave.”
“……”
“Well, as it turned out, I was completely wrong.”
I wasn’t such a great person. I wasn’t an important person either. So the information I gave and my identity weren’t that important either. I was embarrassed by every moment I had acted as if I were something just because I became S-class.
It might have been that my baseless pride was hurt over something trivial. But even so, there was nothing I could do. I felt dirty to the point I couldn’t help it, and unpleasant words popped out. I didn’t even want to make eye contact, and only resentful feelings overflowed for no reason.
It was a sadness I couldn’t explain—exactly what I was resentful about or how my heart could become clear. It was also a pitiful feeling.
I wanted to speak nonchalantly, coolly too. But my heart just wouldn’t become that way. Shocking incidents I had never experienced in my life continued, but there was nothing I could do. And I couldn’t escape either.
Regardless of my will, I had become the protagonist. Just like that nameless C-class hero that no one thought of as the protagonist.
‘But at least that C-class hero burned with a sense of justice. I don’t even have that.’
I was busy frantically dealing with what was right in front of me. My mind was narrow, and my stamina was rock bottom. My mouth ran well enough, but in reality, I was cowardly and weak.
Weak. I went from C-class to S-class, but I hadn’t become any stronger at all. I had merely become able to guide Kim Haewon; I was still myself.
“Guide Park Garam, I…”
The moment Kim Haewon tried to say something, the clacking sound of heels gradually approached and stopped. It was Director Kim Jeongseon.
“I’m sorry! Because I failed to properly manage the staff of Diplomatic Management Department 1, I caused great trouble for you both. When I return, I will reform not just Department 1 but the entire Diplomatic Management Bureau.”
This was the first time she had taken such a humble posture. She seemed to be shocked by the fact that Wuxin, who was Suo Weiqian’s subordinate, had infiltrated Diplomatic Management Department 1.
“Please stand up. It’s not the Director’s fault. It’s just that the Association’s internal structure needs to be reorganized.”
“No! It was clearly my negligence in management. I’m truly ashamed!”
I could almost hear the sound of her pride cracking. A huge scratch had been made on Diplomatic Management Department 1, which was supposed to be perfect. However, Director Kim Jeongseon herself was too injured to worry about such things. I stood up and helped support Director Kim Jeongseon.
“Director-nim, first take care of your body. You need to be healthy to reorganize when you return. Right now, Director-nim, you’re injured.”
“I’m fine. Injuries like this are nothing. I’ll arrange a plane for our return. Please wait just a little.”
Director Kim Jeongseon continued speaking urgently. Her characteristic composure had disappeared. Kim Haewon supported her as she limped.
I watched the two people disappear, then sat back down. The skin next to my fingernail, which I had started picking at during my conversation with Kim Haewon, stung pointlessly.
