“Smells good. I like this the best. I’ll enjoy it, thanks. I should get going. I have to stop by the company. See you again.”
I was leaving the counter following Dongyun hyung who greeted and turned around when Cha Jeonghan grabbed my leg as if telling me not to go. I quickly detached Cha Jeonghan and went outside, finally letting out a breath only after seeing the van completely leave the cafe. Really, less than 10 minutes felt as long as several hours.
“…I can’t live like this.”
After cooling my head for a moment in the cold wind, I came back inside the cafe. Seeing him coming out from inside the counter limping a bit, another long breath escaped.
Thinking about how my heart had been anxious the whole time, I honestly felt a bit resentful, so I first locked the store door and lowered all the blinds. While I was going around the entire cafe tidying up, Cha Jeonghan’s gaze kept reaching me, but I didn’t look at him even once.
“I was completely wrong. So please look at me.”
“…I’m going to finish tidying up and go rest. So leave.”
As I was lowering the last blind and coming to the counter, Cha Jeonghan approached in front of me. When I didn’t make eye contact, he tilted his head to meet my eyes and gripped both my arms with both hands, not painfully but firmly.
“Why do you keep telling me to leave? I came to see you. I couldn’t see you earlier because of the interview, couldn’t see you because hyung suddenly came in, and I’m just now properly seeing you, so don’t tell me to leave. I want to talk about what happened today with you, and stay for a few hours… no, even just one hour.”
I took down Cha Jeonghan’s hands gripping my arms and stepped back a little from him. Cha Jeonghan quietly watched me as I stood apart.
“Coming here is… I can’t stop you anyway, and you won’t listen if I tell you not to come… so do what you want. I have a promise with Noona, so I have to stay here without moving until Noona comes back, and you keep coming… so we can’t help but meet.”
“…….”
“I won’t tell you not to come… but I hope there won’t be any surprises like today. I should know in advance what’s happening too, and you should give me time to organize my thoughts.”
“Okay. I’ll do that. So I get to meet you for a month?”
I was curious what that ‘meeting’ meant, but I didn’t bother to ask. I could just think according to how I felt, and Cha Jeonghan could act according to the meaning he thought. There was no need to get some kind of confirmation from him. When I nodded once, Cha Jeonghan smiled and gently stroked my hair.
“And I hope you won’t do things like earlier at the counter. The door isn’t even locked, the blinds aren’t down… what if someone saw you? Didn’t you think about that? Dongyun hyung could have seen.”
“…You’re right. I didn’t think about that at all. I’ll be careful from now on. If we get caught, it’s not just me in trouble, you’ll be affected too.”
I was relieved he understood. I slightly moved aside from him standing in front and entered the counter, rolling up the apron placed on one side with my hand. Remembering that Cha Jeonghan had untied the knot that was binding my waist made various parts of my body feel warm for no reason.
“Then is it okay to do it now?”
Cha Jeonghan came to stand in front of me as if to order, placed both hands on the counter and leaned his body forward.
“…What?”
“The door is locked, and all the blinds are down.”
His expression was too serious to think it was a joke. Although he had a smile on his lips, his pupils didn’t waver. I just kept clenching and unclenching my hand holding the apron.
“…I didn’t mean it in that sense….”
Cha Jeonghan, who had been staying with the counter between us, came back inside and approached me. Even as I unknowingly stepped back, Cha Jeonghan was faster. The moment I properly looked at his face and our eyes met, our lips met. The force coming from his body, larger than mine, pushed me so I kept stepping backwards. I was pushed all the way to the pickup desk, grabbed that empty space with both hands, and was almost laid halfway on top of it. Cha Jeonghan wrapped one arm around my waist like that and pulled me sharply forward. As the tongue that had been entwined came loose, our bodies pressed together.
“…Hng….”
His leg dug between my legs, and our bodies overlapped a bit more deeply. Cha Jeonghan didn’t give me any gaps as if he would consume all my heated breath at once. Even when I pushed his shoulder because it was hard to breathe, he only gave me time to gasp once, then wrapped around my nape again and deeply entwined his tongue.
He was a bit bolder and more urgent than yesterday. I couldn’t stop him as he sucked and rubbed tongues like an impatient person. Every time our lips, wet with each other’s saliva, locked deeply, squelching sounds were made. At the sound of his roughened breath and the friction of our lips, I felt like my head would go somewhere. I grabbed his arm and moved my tongue together with Cha Jeonghan. The tongues that moved together entwined and dug into each other without saying who was first. My lower abdomen tightened, and my body kept heating up.
“Haa… Jeong, Jeonghan-ah….”
Cha Jeonghan, who slightly parted his lips like that, buried his face in my nape. As his heated lips took my nape and sucked on it, a strange sensation spread all the way to my toes.
“Haah…. Haa….”
Honestly, the lips touching me wetly were hard to push away. This pleasure was sweet enough to me that I even thought it wouldn’t matter if we went all the way to the end like this if it’s what he wanted. But I didn’t want to leave him swept up in sensations that easily heat up like this, confusing his emotions.
“…Stop, stop it.”
“Ha….”
When I clearly voiced it and grabbed his shoulder to separate him, Cha Jeonghan looked at me with excited-looking eyes. I barely caught my breath and pushed away Cha Jeonghan, who seemed to understand what I said, a bit more. Cha Jeonghan, who obediently stepped back, closed his eyes deeply and exhaled a long breath.
“From the moment I left here yesterday… ha, until I came back here, no, even during the interview, I could only think about this.”
“…….”
“You’re so warm.”
“…….”
“…I can only think of you, Yuhyeon-ah.”
“…….”
“I thought I’d go crazy being anxious every day that you’d abandon me… but yesterday I wasn’t anxious. I didn’t have time to be anxious.”
Cha Jeonghan, who moved even larger steps than how far he was pushed back to press our bodies together, kissed me again. Cha Jeonghan’s kisses were very hot and good. I couldn’t dislike them. How could I dislike it when the person I love rushes at me as if impatient? But I wasn’t at ease with Cha Jeonghan’s bold and uninhibited actions that were changing too quickly, too fast.
Unlike how it was somewhat rough, Cha Jeonghan, who had been softly biting my lips and holding my tongue while kissing for quite a while, slightly parted our locked lips. Cha Jeonghan, who grinned, hugged me with both arms. I couldn’t adapt to the flow of these actions Cha Jeonghan was doing now because it was too unfamiliar.
“I feel so good being with you. I feel like I’m alive.”
I couldn’t even judge whether I should raise my arms to hug Cha Jeonghan’s waist back or push him away. Even in the moment of touching Cha Jeonghan who was acting like a lover and saying lover-like words, I couldn’t shake off this strange sense of disconnect.
“Even if I go home, you’re not there anyway, so should I sleep here?”
“…What?”
“Is the room too small for me to sleep in too?”
I detached Cha Jeonghan, wondering what I’d just heard. He didn’t ask in the sense that the room being too small wouldn’t work, but Cha Jeonghan was looking at me with a face that was far too peaceful. There were no other emotions on that face.
I was curious how he could say such things with such a nonchalant face in this situation where we’re neither friends nor lovers. I couldn’t feel even a bit of hesitation or trembling. Looking at Cha Jeonghan like that, I kept getting scared.
“…If you’re going to say weird things, leave.”
I detached myself and came out alone first. While I was thinking I should at least pull myself together somehow, my body and lips that had touched him heated up on their own and kept stimulating my weakest spots. Every time I faced the sensations that covered my emotions and made me impulsive, I thought of Cha Jeonghan who would be even more easily swayed by them.
“Ah, right. You haven’t eaten dinner yet, have you? You didn’t have time because of the interview.”
“Ah… you’re right.”
“Should we go out and eat something? I’m hungry too since I didn’t eat dinner.”
Only after hearing Cha Jeonghan’s words did I realize I’d eaten one sandwich as a late lunch and hadn’t eaten anything until now. I nodded, thinking it would be better to be somewhere with people rather than being alone together in this space where everything was covered and blocked, and also feeling concerned about sending Cha Jeonghan away alone when he said he was hungry.
“I’ll bring my coat.”
“Can I come in too?”
“…There’s nothing to see. It’s just a room.”
I didn’t particularly stop Cha Jeonghan from following me to where the room was. While I was getting my outerwear, Cha Jeonghan just stuck his head into the room and looked around inside with his eyes. Cha Jeonghan’s expression darkened after roughly scanning the room once, which had nothing to look at anyway.
“Come back to the officetel. What kind of hardship is this when you’re leaving the officetel I gave you to use?”
“It’s comfortable here too. I have everything I need.”
“Aren’t you scared? Being here alone like this with all the lights off? Where do you shower?”
“There’s a shower room upstairs in the building.”
At my words, Cha Jeonghan furrowed his brow and let out a dissatisfied breath. Cha Jeonghan probably couldn’t understand why I stubbornly chose this difficult path.
“Come back. Stay there for at least a month. At least while you’re meeting me. You agreed to meet me for a month too, and with that reason you can stay at the officetel.”
“After a month passes and the situation changes again, will I quietly leave then?”
