With an expression that showed no concern at all, at his casual words, I reflexively shook my head.
“No, I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt.”
“Then why do you keep staggering?”
“Ah, I just woke up… I guess I’m not fully awake yet.”
It was hard to look at that silent face, so I averted my gaze while pretending to touch the back of my neck.
“Your face is pale too.”
But that was only for a moment—Lee Jiwoo reached out and cupped my cheek, making me lift my head. He thrust his face forward, forcing eye contact right in front of my nose.
Lee Jiwoo always confuses me by acting ambiguously like this. It would have been easier to deal with if he kept clinging to me and rubbing his lips against mine like yesterday, or if he had been completely cold to me as if treating me like a spy.
Right now, we were too awkward to say we were dating, but too close to call our relationship hostile.
So it wasn’t easy to conclude whether I’d been caught or not.
“You’re sure it doesn’t hurt?”
Lee Jiwoo asked again. It felt like an atmosphere where I shouldn’t say it hurt even if it did.
“Yes, I’m fine. But when did you wake up? You should have woken me…”
“But are you always like that?”
“Pardon?”
Then Lee Jiwoo asked meaningfully. My liver, already shrunken to the size of a bean, made me break out in cold sweat.
“What kind of… What do you mean…?”
Lee Jiwoo, who had been staring at me as I stammered, let out a sigh.
“Did you speak so formally and politely to the people you’ve dated until now too?”
Was he talking about past lovers? What trap was in that question, what answer would be correct—my head was spinning. I hesitated, then just nodded.
“Yes, this is more comfortable for me. If it makes you uncomfortable…”
“No. It’s not uncomfortable. I was just worried you might be uncomfortable.”
“Ah…”
“I’m glad it doesn’t hurt.”
It didn’t sound like he was glad at all. Lee Jiwoo grabbed my wrist and went to the kitchen. Then he sat me down in front of the dining table and, without any explanation, took out a pot from the refrigerator.
Until yesterday, there had been no such pot in the refrigerator. While I watched in bewilderment, Lee Jiwoo placed the pot on the gas range. Perhaps because the pot was quite large, it took quite a while to heat up.
“……”
“……”
Of course, we didn’t say a word until then. Whenever I tried to start a conversation, Lee Jiwoo’s expression looked so stiff that my throat tightened.
Soon a savory smell wafted out, and Lee Jiwoo used a ladle to transfer a whole chicken into a large bowl. It was samgyetang.
“Did you make this, Jiwoo-ssi?”
“No, I went out and bought it while you were sleeping.”
Did he really go through such trouble? Could this be like a last supper or something? If this was something he did for me, there’d be no reason for him to be so stern and create such an atmosphere.
“Eat.”
“……”
Inside the large bowl, an upside-down chicken was messily placed. Whether it happened while transferring it or while boiling, the flesh was torn here and there, and one leg had completely fallen off.
“Thank you.”
I stared blankly at the mangled white chicken, then hastily opened my mouth. I reflexively reached for the spoon but hesitated.
“Aren’t you eating, Jiwoo-ssi?”
“I already ate.”
“…Ah, yes.”
At those nonchalant words, my conviction grew deeper. No matter how little dating experience I have, I know that Lee Jiwoo’s behavior right now isn’t normal.
Think about it. So a lover who started dating last night kissed me until my lips were swollen, we had sex, and the next day we eat separately? And we’re in the same house? Even if one person is sleeping, wouldn’t you normally wait? If you’re really hungry, you should at least wake them up, but to coldly eat all by yourself?
I tried not to show my confusion and took a spoonful of soup with a stiff expression. It should definitely be delicious, but I couldn’t taste anything.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“Kuh…”
“Are you okay?”
“Cough, cough… Yes, I’m, I’m fine…”
I choked and tears sprang to my eyes. I couldn’t stop coughing, so I covered my mouth with my hand and coughed as quietly as possible.
After drinking two cups of water that Lee Jiwoo poured for me and finally calming down, I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and said,
“It went down the wrong pipe…”
He didn’t even ask anything, but I mumbled to myself for no reason. Whether I was suffering or not, Lee Jiwoo said what he had to say.
“Before I go to Chile, we agreed to exchange gifts, right? So I received your hair.”
Strictly speaking, that wasn’t something I gave him but was practically plundered.
“Have you decided what gift you want to receive? Something you want.”
“No, I haven’t yet… Anything is fine with me.”
I answered as normally and safely as possible. Then Lee Jiwoo smiled for the first time today.
“I thought so. So I’ve been thinking. About what to give you.”
“Ah, really? You don’t have to go that far…”
I pretended to be happy and shyly lowered my gaze. Inside, I was terrified to the point of going crazy. I was already scared of what Lee Jiwoo would say to astound me again.
He’s not going to give me his hair too, is he?
“If it’s uncomfortable for you to live with Seogong in our house, I’ll just buy you an apartment.”
“……”
Fortunately it wasn’t a hair gift, but it was equally absurd. I was dazed for a moment, not understanding what Lee Jiwoo said, then quickly came to my senses.
“You’re giving me an apartment? As a gift?”
“Yeah, live there with Seogong. There’s one I’ve been looking at near our house. Then it’s close, so it’ll be convenient for me to visit, and convenient for you to come over too.”
“Oh…”
“If we go back and forth like that, Seogong will naturally become comfortable with me too.”
Why does he keep bringing up Seogong? I became anxious because Hyungnim also had a history of threatening me while mentioning Seogong. I gripped the spoon tightly as Lee Jiwoo continued.
“We’re going to keep seeing each other, so it’s better to get close quickly.”
“……”
But am I too confused right now? Why does this feel like meeting the family before getting married? Am I so scared of getting caught that my brain isn’t working properly? Is that why I keep having weird thoughts?
“While we’re on the topic, set up a meeting. Let’s meet all three of us. I’ll get something delicious… Ah, you said he had surgery. Then let’s eat next time, and go to his place and ask if there’s anything he wants. I’ll buy it for him.”
There was almost no inflection in his voice. Lee Jiwoo was often expressionless normally, but today was particularly bad. I couldn’t guess at all what he was thinking.
“Yes, I’ll ask him next time.”
“Not next time, ask him when you go today.”
“Ah, yes. I’ll do that.”
“By the way, do you eat abalone?”
“…Pardon?”
“I’m asking if you eat abalone.”
What’s with the abalone out of nowhere? I nodded with a bewildered expression.
“Yes, I eat it if there is some. I’m not particularly picky about food…”
“I was going to buy samgyetang with abalone, but I was worried you might not be able to eat it, so I bought this one.”
“Ah, I see…”
“Is it good?”
“Yes, it’s delicious. Thank you.”
I smiled awkwardly, but Lee Jiwoo’s expression became even colder.
“But why aren’t you eating properly?”
“I am eating now.”
No, fuck. You keep talking to me, so how am I supposed to eat?
“If it’s not good, don’t force yourself to eat it.”
“I’m not forcing myself. I said it’s good, didn’t I?”
“Then hurry up and eat. It’s getting cold.”
I started getting impatient at his urging. I used chopsticks to strip off a large piece of breast meat and stuffed my mouth full, chewing vigorously.
Ugh, fuck. There’s no salt and no kimchi… When I was eating the soup earlier, I thought I couldn’t taste anything because I was nervous, but it’s because there’s no fucking seasoning at all, so of course there’s no taste.
“Is it good?”
Did he make it? Why does he keep asking?
“Yesh, ish good.”
“Eat a lot.”
“Yesh, yesh.”
He kept urging me, so I continued eating the meat and soup without resting. Fortunately, it was well-boiled so the meat and bones separated easily. If I’d had to pick at the meat bit by bit, I might have burst with frustration already.
Lee Jiwoo didn’t budge an inch and monitored me with ghostly eyes until I finished the entire bowl.
