He looked younger than now, but not to the point of being unrecognizable. He just looked slightly youthful, but his height and features weren’t much different from now. Even his hairstyle was the same.
An emergency alarm sounded in my head. I even had the hallucination that my vision was turning red. What expression am I making right now? Lee Jiwoo was staring at me so intently that I couldn’t easily move my facial muscles.
Should I say I think I’ve seen this person as a customer too? Or should I say I’ve never seen him at all? No, maybe it’s better to just be honest. The fact that hyungnim attached someone to monitor me means he doesn’t completely trust me. Of course he can’t trust me. That’s why he sent drugs to our house. Even if I find out Lee Jiwoo’s secret, hyungnim might not let me go easily. Maybe he’ll bury me completely under the pretext of destroying evidence. Then should I switch sides to Lee Jiwoo? Should I be honest even now?
Countless thoughts went through my head in a split second. I slowly raised my gaze to look at Lee Jiwoo. His face and expression hadn’t changed from a moment ago. His ghost-like eyes were the same.
“I don’t know this person.”
The moment I saw those chilly eyes, a lie popped out of my mouth without realizing.
“Really?”
“Yes, is this person also someone who was at the same table as Choi Gunho?”
Now there’s really no turning back. I felt cold sweat dripping down my back. At my question, Lee Jiwoo brought his phone closer, stared at the screen blankly, and said.
“No, he wasn’t at that table.”
“Then who is it?”
“Why?”
“What?”
“Are you interested?”
At his smirking face, I felt dizzy. Every single word Lee Jiwoo said nonchalantly made my nerves shrivel like being electrocuted.
Did Lee Jiwoo notice I’m lying? Doesn’t he know? Or does he know but is pretending not to? I couldn’t know anything.
“It’s not that, it’s just such a portrait-like photo… Like it was taken at a photo studio.”
I spoke as calmly as possible, saying whatever came out. Then Lee Jiwoo nodded.
“Well, similar. This was taken by my dad. He fixed the camera on a stand like in a photo studio and even used a reflector.”
Didn’t he say his parents passed away when he was young? Then is hyungnim’s appearance in this photo from when Lee Jiwoo was young? No, that wasn’t the point I should be reacting to now.
“…Is this someone you know?”
“He’s my cousin hyung.”
“……”
I didn’t know until he showed me the photo. I didn’t expect Lee Jiwoo to speak this honestly. I thought he’d avoid answering and change the subject like he’d always done until now.
I hesitated and pursed my lips several times before asking carefully.
“That… The person you said makes your stomach uncomfortable when you eat in the morning…”
“Right. You remember.”
Lee Jiwoo laughed “haha” even though it wasn’t particularly funny. There was no sign of joy, just a laugh mimicking the sound with his mouth.
“That person probably sent you the drugs.”
“……”
I’m really fucked, goddammit. Ha.
Afraid a dazed expression would show, I decided to make a tearful face and tremble like a dog caught in the rain instead.
“What? N-no. Why would Lee Jiwoo’s cousin hyung to me…”
“Why are you trembling so much?”
“B-because I’m scared. Is he like a gangster? Mafia, something like that?”
I trailed off and covered my face with both hands. Then I dry-washed my face vigorously and let out a deep sigh. I really wanted to faint like this. No, everything else is fine, I just want to see a mirror once. Maybe because I was too nervous, I had no idea what expression I was making.
“He’s not a gangster.”
“Then what does he do?”
I glanced at Lee Jiwoo through my fingers. All I did was sit and babble, so why am I so out of breath?
“President of a company that’s not respectable?”
At my question, Lee Jiwoo tilted his head and mumbled uncertainly. It was what he said when talking about Choi Gunho earlier too.
“The errand center or private investigation agency, that thing?”
Lee Jiwoo nodded.
Oh my god… I thought hyungnim was naturally a chaebol. So I thought Lee Jiwoo was like a third-generation chaebol too. But in fact, he was the CEO of an errand center. That’s why he doesn’t come up even when you search the internet!
“Then why did that person send me drugs? I’ve never even seen this person.”
The lie came out more brazenly and easily than before.
“It’s been quite a while since I last saw hyung, so I’m not certain… But I think someone saw us kiss the day we first met. So they must have told hyung. Or took a picture.”
“……”
He usually did this, but his gaze was particularly scorching. Like the red light of a surveillance camera, he fixed his gaze on me without blinking much.
Maybe the thief is giving himself away, but it felt like he was trying to gauge my reaction. So it’s not that he really doesn’t know who I am, but rather he’s still uncertain. Does he only have suspicion without evidence?
Or is this all just my worry and Lee Jiwoo really doesn’t know my identity?
“Can I go wash my face for a moment?”
I couldn’t take it anymore and muttered with a deep sigh.
“Why wash your face?”
“To clear my head. Our conversation right now is too… unrealistic.”
“Then let’s go together.”
“What?”
What are you saying, fuck? It was absurd, but it was hard to respond. Because Lee Jiwoo might be acting like this because he was suspicious of me.
At this rate, I really feel like I’ll get neurosis. The cold and flu had definitely healed, but my stomach was aching again and my vision seemed to spin.
In the end, I went to the bathroom with Lee Jiwoo attached like a goldfish’s poop. He stood on the threshold, crossed his arms, and stared at me as if monitoring me.
I turned on the cold water to wash my face vigorously, but it was too cold so I turned the faucet to the hot water side. As I squatted and stayed still, Lee Jiwoo asked.
“Aren’t you washing your face?”
“When the hot water comes out.”
After waiting a bit more like that, the water quickly became hot like lava. I finely adjusted the faucet to get the optimal temperature. Then I slowly washed my face and took deep breaths.
The bathroom was cold, almost the same as the outside temperature. My whole body trembled, but thanks to that, my head cooled down. I naturally looked in the mirror while wiping my face with a towel.
My face was pale and my eyes were sunken, looking tired like someone who stayed up all night. Naturally my gaze turned to Lee Jiwoo. He looked fresh-faced as if he’d slept well, eaten well, and rested well.
It felt like Lee Jiwoo’s and my appearances had switched.
“But why did Lee Jiwoo come all the way here…”
I was about to ask why he followed, but hesitated. Lee Jiwoo took the towel and started carefully wiping my face. Very carefully and gently, even the moisture that flowed to my hair and the nape of my neck.
“……”
What is this really? Just looking at the action, it was meticulous and affectionate, but it didn’t feel that way to me. Lee Jiwoo hung up the wet towel, stretched out his arms, and hugged my shoulders. The movements were so naturally connected like flowing water that before I could feel it was strange, Lee Jiwoo pulled away.
He held my hand and brought me out to the living room and sat me down.
“If you meet hyung soon, you’ll know. Whether the damage extended to you because of me, or not.”
Just hearing these words, it was certain Lee Jiwoo didn’t know my identity. Then it really meant he fell for me at first sight and talked to me then. But as I always thought, to say that, I didn’t feel any fluttering or love-like emotions.
It wasn’t simply that he couldn’t express his inner feelings well. There was an uneasiness that couldn’t be explained in words. But then when I looked at other times, should I say it was desperate… Not love or fluttering, but I also felt that he desperately wanted to be with me.
“What are you thinking?”
I was thinking such thoughts while staring blankly at the loose thread at the edge of the blanket when Lee Jiwoo asked. That was really what I wanted to ask.
“What are you thinking, Lee Jiwoo?”
“If I hold your hand now, will Seoun get angry?”
“……”
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
I was so deflated that I was starting to get annoyed now. Dodging the question or giving irrelevant answers, there’s a limit…
“Isn’t this a serious situation for us right now?”
When I asked with a frown, Lee Jiwoo tilted his head to the side.
“Whatever the situation, we don’t know anything about each other, so is there a need to be serious?”
“I have a lot of questions and I’m confused. I feel like I was just minding my own business and suddenly got struck by lightning.”
“I’m confused too. So can I hold your hand first?”
“No.”
I crossed my arms and hid both hands.
