Right now we’re acquaintances, but in the future we’re planning to become lovers. So let’s not have sex with other people starting now. What kind of strange logic is this?
At that point, aren’t we just dating from now on? It seemed like wordplay, but since Jiwoo said he wanted to do it that way, I decided to let him have his way.
“Yes, fine.”
“But what do we have to do to go from acquaintances to friends?”
I don’t know that either. It’s not like there are experience points to fill like leveling up in a game…
“Maybe when we feel we’ve gotten closer to each other, that’s friends?”
“That’s vague.”
Right. Even I think it’s extremely vague. I thought carefully and then subtly averted my gaze to the side. Then I said as casually as possible,
“Or, well… maybe when we can talk about personal things.”
“Personal things?”
“Friends talk to each other about worries and stuff. Secret stories that are hard to tell others, family problems, and so on.”
“Friends talk about those things?”
Another strange, off-point statement. Has he never made friends in his life?
“You talk about serious things over drinks and stuff.”
“You did that too?”
“Yes, I did a lot. Spending time together whether happy or sad.”
“Isn’t that what romantic relationships are like?”
“If you think about it, friends and romantic relationships aren’t that different, right? It’s a matter of whether there’s sexual contact or not.”
At my words, Jiwoo frowned.
“Then what’s Minjun? Your friend?”
“A coworker.”
“Is that an acquaintance?”
“Yes, that’s right. And please stop talking about Minjun. He’s just a new employee who works hard. I feel bad for dragging him into this topic.”
I sighed in frustration. We weren’t that close and hadn’t known each other long, ugh.
“Okay. And I understand what you mean. A friend is someone you spend time with whether happy or sad.”
“……”
No, that’s not it—a friend is a relationship where you share secret stories! Why are you leaving out what I said before?!
After that, idle conversation continued. It was funny and absurd, but there was no serious talk. After eating all the kimbap without leaving any, Jiwoo even volunteered to do the dishes.
A young master from a rich family doing dishes? From what I roughly heard earlier, it seemed there was someone who made food for him, so he couldn’t have done dishes before. I felt both honored and more than anything anxious, so I shook my head.
“It’s okay. I can’t make a guest do that. I’ll just gratefully accept the thought.”
“Seoun, it’s winter right now.”
“What?”
“If you wash dishes with cold water in winter, your hands get cold. When your hands are cold, they hurt and it’s painful. No one wants the person they love to be in pain and suffering.”
He suddenly says something out of the blue about winter… Is he teasing me right now?
“It’s not winter now, it’s spring. And I wear rubber gloves when washing dishes, so my hands won’t get cold.”
“I’m not a guest, I’m an acquaintance.”
“Anyone who comes to my house, whether acquaintance, friend, or lover, is a guest.”
“……”
In the end, Jiwoo couldn’t retort further and backed down. I naturally tried to wash the dishes but hesitated. It seemed better to send Jiwoo off first before washing dishes.
He’s not going to sleep over here, is he? I was anxious because I couldn’t outright ask when he was leaving, when his phone rang at just the right time.
Whether it was a text message, Jiwoo stared at the screen for a while, then raised his head and looked at me.
“I should get going now.”
“Ah, really?”
Thank goodness.
Looking at me pretending to be disappointed, Jiwoo hesitated.
“I wanted to sleep together today.”
“Well, today isn’t the only day.”
“Not sex, just sleeping.”
“Yes, I understood it that way.”
Always worrying about strange things. I quickly came out to the living room and looked at the shopping bags piled up near the front door and asked,
“How are you going to carry all this? Should I call a taxi?”
“Why would I carry this?”
“What?”
Huh? What? When I widened my eyes in surprise, Jiwoo said again,
“It’s all yours.”
“Really? Wait, why?”
“You gave me clothes. So I gave you some too.”
When did I give you clothes? You mean what I gave you to sleep in? I didn’t give it, I just lent it? Didn’t I clearly say to wash it and return it?
“Anyway, I’m leaving. Contact me.”
“Wait a moment!”
I grabbed the wrist of Jiwoo, who had put on his shoes and looked like he’d bounce out like a spring any moment.
“You’re really giving me all of this? Everything?”
“Yeah. Why? Don’t you like it?”
“No, you already bought me a phone…”
“It’s a gift. When you like someone, you give gifts and stuff. You do that too.”
What are you talking about, really? Why are you being so burdensome? I was already going crazy from receiving a large sum from Grandfather.
This year, whether my three years of misfortune ended or not, money kept appearing from here and there. Money is better the more you have, but I’d never experienced this in my life, so I was actually anxious.
“If you don’t like it, throw it away. Next time we meet, I’ll buy more. Come to think of it, I only bought things that seemed to suit you well, but I didn’t ask your opinion.”
“What do you mean throw it away? Anyway, you said you were in a hurry, so please go quickly. And thank you. Ah, please tell Grandfather thank you for the spending money too.”
When I sighed, Jiwoo, who had been staring at me, asked,
“You’re grateful?”
“What? Yes, I’m grateful.”
What is he trying to say now? When I frowned with an ominous feeling, Jiwoo suddenly spread both arms.
“Then hug me as a sign of gratitude.”
“……”
“Can’t acquaintances hug?”
Acquaintances can hug at least that much. I hesitated, then spread both arms the same way and hugged Jiwoo. His arms wrapped around my back, and I could feel the cozy scent of fabric softener.
Suddenly I thought about when was the last time I embraced someone like this. When was the last time I hugged? Like this, tightly, for a long time. I thought carefully but couldn’t remember.
Jiwoo’s arms held me strongly, but not to the point of suffocating. The scent was so nice that somehow the strength gradually left my body. I felt like I should push away around now, but I just left it.
After staying still like that for a moment, Jiwoo whispered in a subdued, low voice as if just waking up,
“Seoun.”
“Yes.”
“If you don’t want to wear the clothes, give them to Seogong. He’s getting discharged soon, right?”
How does he know that? Did he hear it this morning? I did talk about Seogong a lot.
“Yes, I will.”
“I don’t want to go.”
“……”
The muttering like talking to himself was full of reluctance. Unable to bear it, I pushed his shoulders lightly first. Jiwoo fell away weakly and looked down at me with eyes dripping with lingering attachment.
“I’ll contact you tomorrow.”
“Yes, get home safely.”
Jiwoo, who sighed, turned around, and the front door opened and closed again. I was immersed in a strange afterglow looking at the door he left through when suddenly the door burst open again.
“You scared me.”
Surprised, I put my hand on my chest without realizing it. Through the slightly open door crack, I could see Jiwoo’s eyes. What is he doing?
“Did you forget something?”
“No, I just looked back once.”
“What?”
“Sleep well.”
“…?”
The front door closed smoothly and I heard the sound of Jiwoo going down the stairs. Soon I also heard the sound of the main gate opening and closing with a clunk.
“What the hell, really.”
I muttered in disbelief and scratched the back of my neck roughly. Something feels strange, so I shivered and went to the kitchen.
I washed the dishes, cleared the table, and wiped the moisture from the bowls. Then I showered and came out to organize the shopping bags in front of the entrance. There were too many clothes, so I didn’t look at the contents one by one.
I’ll sleep for now and look tomorrow, organize the closet too…
Lying down in the living room with the lights off, I was roughly planning what to do tomorrow when I got my phone. The new phone Jiwoo bought me today. The screen wasn’t cracked and the recognition was super fast. Now it won’t get hot just from touching it for a few minutes.
I went online and searched for Jiwoo’s name again, when the fish came to mind. But maybe because some time had passed, I couldn’t remember the English word Jiwoo had said.
“Was it BB gun? Something similar to that.”
It was three letters in English, but what was it… B… B, B… mouse?
“Was it GBA?”
It felt like it might be right, but no matter how much I searched, only portable game consoles came up. So I typed white powder and looked at related search terms.
“White powder on rice cakes… the identity of white powder on dried persimmons… white on chocolate… the difference between white flour and whole wheat flour…”
Muttering, I kept scrolling down and then stopped.
The devil’s white powder, drugs.
