“You eat well. Is it that good?”
“Yes, it’s so delicious. The seasoning is just right too. Did you make this yourself?”
“Of course. I made all the side dishes here. I don’t even use seasoning.”
“I thought so. Your cooking skills are extraordinary. I’m so sorry for eating for free. I’ll bring something delicious next time.”
At Lee Jiwoo’s words, the landlady laughed so hard her shoulders shook.
“……”
I sat next to Lee Jiwoo like a borrowed barley sack, picking at rice grains with my chopsticks. Is he thick-skinned? Well, that’s probably why he washed up, ate, and fell asleep without any issue as soon as he arrived at my house for the first time.
“But since when have you been friends with Seoun? I know all of Seoun’s friends, but this is the first time I’m seeing your face. Right, Seoun? You’ve never brought him home before, have you?”
The landlady looked at me and asked. The moment I hesitated about what to answer, Lee Jiwoo spoke first.
“We haven’t been close for long. But as we talked, we just connected so well. So we became close really quickly.”
At those words, I could only nod awkwardly with a smile. It was ambiguous to call it a lie, but it didn’t seem like the truth either… Right now, the relationship between Lee Jiwoo and me was as ambiguous as our first meeting.
Maybe I felt that way even more because I had a special purpose.
“Can I have another bowl of rice?”
“Of course you can. A lot? Or just a little?”
“A lot, please.”
He’s eating again? No, he must have really been starving. Is he naturally a big eater? Maybe I made too little kimchi fried rice earlier. If he likes eating, wouldn’t it be okay to approach him through that angle?
Finding good restaurants and taking him there, or making him delicious food myself…
While I was thinking about that, Lee Jiwoo suddenly grabbed my hand firmly under the table.
“……?”
“The rice is multigrain rice too, so it’s good for your health.”
“I don’t usually like bean rice much, but the rice is so delicious it’s surprising. I think it would be delicious even just eating the rice alone.”
“These are lentils…”
The landlady was facing away from us, scooping rice from the rice cooker with a ladle. I tried to pull my hand away in confusion, but it didn’t work as I wanted. The moment I shook off his hand hard enough that my body leaned back, the landlady turned around holding a heaping bowl of rice, and at the same time Lee Jiwoo let go of my hand.
“There’s barley and brown rice and oats too…”
Fortunately, as if she hadn’t seen, the landlady continued discussing healthy diets with Lee Jiwoo. She even taught him how to season vegetables deliciously, and even how to peel eggs well.
The two of them had various conversations comfortably as if they’d known each other for 10 years and ate their meal, but I couldn’t tell if the rice was going into my mouth or my nose.
“Come visit again next time with Seoun. I’ll make you delicious food. Did you say you like bulgogi?”
“Yes, the kind with mushrooms and glass noodles in it for sure.”
“Right, bulgogi has to have mushrooms and glass noodles in it. Seoun likes bulgogi too, right?”
The landlady, who had become happy talking a lot about her favorite topic, asked me with a much brighter expression. I smiled and nodded like an NPC.
After exchanging a few more words like that, we came down to the 1st floor. I held it in until we opened the front door and entered the house, then as soon as I closed the door, I turned to Lee Jiwoo.
Perhaps because he’d eaten his fill, the bags under his eyes, his rough skin, and his chapped lips were all smooth and glowing. He didn’t even look tired anymore.
“Why did you grab my hand earlier?”
When I asked with a frown, Lee Jiwoo tilted his head with a hateful face as if he knew nothing.
“Hand? When… Oh, earlier when we were eating?”
“Yes, why did you suddenly grab my hand so tightly and not let go?”
Honestly, it might seem strange to be this annoyed over having my hand held once when I’m not even a middle schooler going through puberty. But I really couldn’t stand it anymore.
All of Lee Jiwoo’s physical contact was too random. Even when it wasn’t that kind of situation at all, he always approached at unpredictable moments. That’s why it was a problem that it didn’t feel like simple skinship like holding hands once.
Rather than feeling bad, should I say it was a bit creepy because I didn’t know the reason? Anyway, I couldn’t stand it because it was unsettling.
“You don’t really like holding hands?”
Even Lee Jiwoo’s way of speaking was completely without context, just like his random physical contact. When asked a question, he never gave a proper answer. Answering a question with a question was common, and he often gave irrelevant answers or outright changed the subject.
How exactly should I deal with this? I only moved my lips, then asked again.
“Why did you grab my hand so tightly and not let go? I was surprised.”
“Sorry for surprising you.”
“No, Jiwoo.”
When I let out a deep sigh, Lee Jiwoo’s eyes, which had been looking at me blankly with an expressionless face, widened.
“Why did you grab my hand so hard and not let go? This is the third time I’m asking.”
Lee Jiwoo moved his lips a few times as if having difficulty answering, just like I had done earlier, then muttered:
“At first, your hand looked soft so I was going to hold it for just a moment and let go, but you kept trying to pull away, so I just suddenly didn’t want to let go.”
“Then just answer like that from the beginning, why do you keep adding useless lengthy details? It’s so frustrating, I’m dying here, seriously.”
When I thumped my chest with my fist, Lee Jiwoo tilted his head.
“You hate me holding your hand?”
I was about to say of course I hated it but froze. Ah, I need to be careful all along, but Lee Jiwoo is so frustrating that I got annoyed without realizing it. I couldn’t manage my expression at all, but I forced myself to smile.
“I don’t hate it. But since I could be surprised, from next time please tell me in advance before you hold it.”
I tried my best, but I probably inevitably showed that I disliked it. But Lee Jiwoo laughed shamelessly, as if he liked that I disliked it or as if it didn’t matter either way.
“Okay, I’ll definitely tell you in advance next time.”
“R-right.”
“Then can I hold your hand now?”
“No.”
An answer came out reflexively without thinking to the question that came as a surprise attack without warning. Startled, I quickly corrected myself.
“You can. To the extent of holding hands.”
I laughed and grabbed Lee Jiwoo’s hand first. But his expression was somehow cold.
“Normal people get flustered when they’re surprised, but you don’t seem to do that much.”
“What?”
“Because you always seem composed.”
What kind of bullshit is this all of a sudden? I couldn’t understand just looking at the sentence alone, and I couldn’t understand it even when applying it to the current situation. It was like the nonsense of a drunk person. So I responded with nonsense too.
“Composure is a basic quality of service industry workers.”
“……?”
Looking at Lee Jiwoo tilting his head, I let go of his hand at a thought that suddenly occurred to me and said:
“I’ll go give the landlady a gift set. I forgot earlier… And I have to go to my part-time job now, so please start getting ready to leave too, Lee Jiwoo.”
“Me too?”
“Huh? No, I’m saying you should get ready to go home, Lee Jiwoo. Your home.”
As if he hadn’t had any such intention at all, Lee Jiwoo had an expression like he had something to say. But I turned my back pretending not to notice and left.
Whew, I need to send him home quickly. It’s okay for a little while, but when I talk in the same space for over an hour, I feel like I’m becoming strange too.
After giving the landlady the gift set and all the overdue rent, I came down the stairs with a light heart. I looked at the clear sky for a moment and took a deep breath then exhaled.
Today, before going to my part-time job, I should make plans with Lee Jiwoo about when to meet next. That way…
“……”
“……”
I froze in the position of having opened the front door. In Lee Jiwoo’s hand was a familiar fish-shaped soy sauce container. You know, the fish-shaped disposable sauce container they give you soy sauce in when you order sushi delivery.
Normally it should be black because it contains soy sauce, but it was white. It wasn’t liquid either, and there was something like powder filling about half of it. But I couldn’t think anymore about what it was or why exactly Lee Jiwoo was holding it.
My head spun fiercely, and yesterday’s events flashed quickly through my mind like a panorama.
Hyungnim’s voice saying he’d sent me a delivery, my appearance after the part-time job when I was so tired I forgot about the delivery’s existence and just threw it roughly next to the shoe cabinet…
That’s the delivery hyungnim sent me to use to seduce Lee Jiwoo.
