“……I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re not quitting.”
“What?”
He’d thought that if he said even this much, Yeon Haejeong would just respond with his usual take-it-or-leave-it attitude.
“How many times do I have to say it? I like you.”
“…….”
“And you know your own goddamn place well enough to pull this shit out of some misguided consideration for me. And….”
Yeon Haejeong hesitated mid-sentence, as though he hated having to admit it, then pushed the words out.
“Like I said — I know damn well you’re not the type to walk out of here and go running your mouth.”
Put simply, it was his way of saying he trusted him.
Munyeong was grateful for that trust, but at the same time, it felt like a weight. For some reason, he had the feeling that if things continued like this, he would end up deeply entangled with Yeon Haejeong — whether professionally or personally. Because Yeon Haejeong was exactly the same as he had been back then, only with years added on.
“…Haejeong.”
Munyeong called his name quietly, his voice troubled. At that gently reproachful tone, Yeon Haejeong’s expression visibly twisted — and an irritated burst of words came flying out.
“Who the hell told you to call me that.”
“…….”
“God, fucking — seriously, fucking….”
“…….”
“It makes me feel — fucking weird, okay?”
That flustered, childlike reaction was exactly the same too. Without meaning to, Munyeong let out a soft breath of a laugh — ha. It was genuinely a laugh of disbelief at this impossible man, but it slowly faded from the corners of his lips. All of a sudden, he thought he understood why Yeon Haejeong had been angry all day long.
“Could it be… that you were upset all day….”
“…….”
“…Because of that?”
Munyeong asked carefully, looking at the man who had gone still for a moment. The word “that” was a little vague. Yeon Haejeong furrowed his brow and answered dismissively.
“What.”
“…Because I changed zones… without saying anything…?”
The image of him bearing down like an enraged bull, working up to say something and then swallowing it all back down — that memory surfaced suddenly.
“…Me? Because of someone like you?”
“……Ah, n-never mind, then.”
Munyeong conceded quickly at the fierce denial and answered quietly. Yeon Haejeong shot a sidelong look at Munyeong’s deflated expression and tossed out a question.
“The fact that you’re asking means you’ve been thinking about me this whole time, hasn’t it?”
As he asked, the corner of Yeon Haejeong’s mouth twitched ever so slightly.
“……More than that, I just… wanted to know.”
“…….”
“Why you were so angry….”
It was a fairly cool-headed question. And Munyeong was right. The truth was, there was no reason for Yeon Haejeong to be angry just because one cleaning zone had been changed. And yet strange thoughts kept surfacing. The vague, unguarded trust directed at him. The way Yeon Haejeong kept paying attention to him. And more than anything, the way Yeon Haejeong seemed to keep being aware of him — it stuck in Munyeong’s mind and wouldn’t let go.
“Could it be….”
Munyeong knew it couldn’t be, and yet the words slipped out before he could stop them. Just the way Yeon Haejeong had asked moments ago.
“…Could it be — that you’re conscious of me…?”
In that instant, those mountainous shoulders gave a visible, unmistakable flinch.
“…Ha.”
A brief silence, then immediately a short scoff.
“……Wh, at….”
He had been muttering as though to himself — and then, without thinking, he looked directly at Munyeong. A strange flame flickered in his eyes. He abruptly grabbed Munyeong’s arm and shoved him against the wall. Again. Again, that inexplicable anger swept over him and took hold.
“Ugh.”
As his back hit the wall hard, a soft involuntary sound slipped through Munyeong’s teeth. But Yeon Haejeong paid no attention to that whatsoever, eyes wide and burning as he continued in a voice edged with agitation.
“Why would I like you?”
The out-of-nowhere question made Munyeong blink in confusion. He hadn’t asked that.
“…N-no, I wasn’t… asking it that way….”
“Fuck, why would I like you.”
“…….”
“Me? Like you? Someone like you?”
…The bewilderment slowly drained from Munyeong’s face, giving way to something calm and steady.
“You’re the one who liked someone.”
“…….”
“You liked me. Aren’t you just pretending that’s not still true? And that’s why you’re bothered by me, acting on your own and—”
“No.”
“…….”
Munyeong hesitated and continued.
“…It’s not — so don’t worry about it.”
Munyeong tried his best to keep his voice level as he spoke, but the other man showed no sign of calming down at all. He kept right on lashing out, letting his agitation show raw and unguarded.
“Ha.”
“…….”
“That can’t be right.”
“…….”
“You liked me enough that you would have just let me force myself on you.”
“…….”
“You liked me so goddamn much you would have spread your legs without a word.”
Munyeong knew it. That Yeon Haejeong wasn’t such a terrible person. He knew — he alone knew it — and yet hearing things like this made him feel as though even that private belief of his was crumbling away.
“Just be honest.”
“…….”
“Who knows — maybe out of pity, I’ll sleep with you once.”
Yeon Haejeong kept his gaze fixed stubbornly on Munyeong’s lips, so close they were almost within reach, the cruel words not stopping. Watching him speak those petty words with those petty eyes, Munyeong opened his mouth calmly.
“That…… that’s something you do with someone you care about.”
“The fuck, are you a kid?”
“……Have you ever done it… with someone you actually cared about?”
The image of him — easy with anyone, cycling through people without thought — surfaced suddenly in Munyeong’s mind. The way he treated physical intimacy as something light, something that meant nothing, came to him unbidden and slipped out before he could catch it.
“……What?”
“I mean… not just sleeping with anyone, with… no one in particular.”
“…….”
“Have you ever… really, truly done it with someone you had real feelings for?”
It was an old memory, but for him — it had been. Just one night, and he hadn’t even been able to see the other person’s face the next day. More than ten years had passed without seeing them again. That person had come out of nowhere, had pushed himself on him without warning — but he’d accepted it, because he cared for them. The loneliness lingered, but there was no regret. If your heart is in it, regret doesn’t come, and neither does longing. None of that hollow wanting-just-anyone emptiness either. At least, that was how it had been for him. And so he asked, hoping that Yeon Haejeong too had had someone like that.
“Once you’ve done it with someone you truly care about…… you won’t be able to do it any other way.”
Munyeong slowly pushed the hand gripping his arm away. The blankness that had briefly taken over Yeon Haejeong’s face gave way to something harder — and he seized Munyeong’s arm again.
