He chose to turn away as he always did.
Seo Juhan, as a math major, could understand difficult and complex abstract concepts. But he was ignorant about himself.
He was only desperate to internalize the values society transmitted, with no leisure to reflect on his own existence.
It was even more so with emotions. The care he deserved to enjoy as a precious life was something he didn’t have.
His past self, who knew nothing, was nothing more than a troublemaker. It was the result of continuously turning away from the accumulated grief since childhood.
It was routine for affection not to be returned. So naturally he didn’t want to let anyone into his territory.
Therefore, it was commonplace for him to fail to properly grasp and confuse even his own heart. Though he cared inside, he pretended not to and created distance, avoiding first so as not to be disappointed.
He didn’t form deep relationships with anyone and acted detached and without regrets. If he immersed himself in busy work, it was easy to deceive even himself.
Therefore, it was no wonder he mistook his feelings for the student who uniquely captured his attention at Yangseong School as merely attachment as a teacher.
So he didn’t know.
He didn’t know what he truly needed to worry about.
This time he happened to be caught by a crazy bastard with bizarrely well-developed animal instincts. A madman who crossed the line he’d drawn arbitrarily without feeling guilty.
He still didn’t know that.
* * *
Seo Juhan came out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth. He roughly wiped the moisture around his mouth with his arm.
In the tiny 1.5-room, he could reach the desk in just a few steps.
He grabbed the chair backrest and rolled the wheels backward to pull it out.
The office chair he’d newly purchased this time was a product from a prestigious brand. With an ergonomic design applying patented technology and high-elasticity soft mesh material, it was comfortable even for long periods of sitting.
Unlike the other old furniture that came as options with the room, it looked luxurious and new. The other things were usable enough as basic options, but he absolutely couldn’t stand this one.
Indeed, it felt like he could concentrate as soon as he sat down.
Click.
When he turned on the desk lamp, the desk surface brightened.
A thick basic textbook on modern algebra was open on the heavy wooden reading stand. The book open right below it was a thin sub-notebook he’d organized himself. It had excellent clarity and readability with good structure, and the handwriting was also neat. On one side stood a tablet for internet lectures.
Seo Juhan picked up a mechanical pencil. His eyes were directed at the memo pad hung on the wall. He checked the day’s goal written on a post-it note.
He’d just finished a moderately late breakfast. The menu was cheese oven spaghetti left over from ordering pizza yesterday.
Now it was time to operate his brain.
That’s when it happened.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud.
The wall vibrated noisily.
The mechanical pencil that had just started work stopped. Seo Juhan, whose studying had been disrupted as soon as he started, also froze like wood and stone.
“…”
The noisy sound stopped abruptly just as it had suddenly come.
Seo Juhan tilted his head and started moving his pen again. He ruminated over the parts he’d been confused about while solving problems.
Scratch scratch.
The scribbling sound was as peaceful as the sound of a primordial heartbeat.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud.
The mechanical pencil that had been tilted and shaking finely stood upright.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud. Thud thud thud thud thud thud. Thud thud thud thud thud thud.
Loud noises burst out sporadically. It was the fierce noise of an electric drill turning. That clamorous sound shattered the peace.
As if earlier had been a preliminary warning, it began to assault the hearing in earnest.
Grooves also formed in Seo Juhan’s flat brow.
“Haa.”
Seo Juhan, who let out a sigh, pushed his chair back. He bent his upper body and rummaged through the front pocket of the backpack at his feet.
Soon he found his secret weapon that would block the unpleasant stimuli invading his eardrums. He gently twisted and inserted the soft parts into both his ear canals.
He played calm music and steeled his resolve again.
Thud thud thud thud thud thud. Thud thud thud thud thud thud.
Ah fuck…
The teacher employment exam student got so irritated he finally threw down his mechanical pencil.
This noise offensive couldn’t possibly be defended against even with the latest noise-canceling Bluetooth earphones.
「Noise may occur due to 4th floor interior repair construction, so please understand.」
Seo Juhan recalled the notice stuck on the central entrance. It was roughly scrawled on A4 paper with a black marker.
It was the floor right above, but until now he’d been out on weekdays so he didn’t need to worry about it. But today was a school administrator’s discretionary holiday squeezed between Memorial Day and the weekend.
In other words, it was a day when only Seo Juhan was resting while others worked.
He couldn’t waste time just throwing a tantrum.
Eventually Seo Juhan packed up all his stuff and left his one-room apartment.
After leaving home, he searched for a temporary shelter on his phone and trudged down the alley. Since most of the nearby libraries were closed on Fridays, he searched for reading rooms or study cafes instead.
He picked the most efficient route among them and got on the bus.
The destination was a study cafe-like reading room in the central commercial district that didn’t require transfers even though it was a bit far distance-wise.
Perhaps because it was commuting time, the bus was slow.
Seo Juhan looked at the scenery outside the window with dry eyes. Passengers who’d just gotten off the bus in a crowd were scattering in all directions.
It was Jeonghan City’s largest entertainment district. The area extended from City Hall intersection all the way to Jeonghan Park. Not only commercial facilities like department stores, outlets, and large supermarkets, but also various administrative agencies like Jeonghan City Hall were densely packed.
True to a systematically developed area, just looking at the streets showed how clean they were. There were many high-rise buildings, but rather than cramped and stuffy, it had a modern and sophisticated atmosphere.
It felt quite different from the foreign worker concentration area in the south where he currently resided. From there to Jeonghan City’s old downtown was notorious as the area with the worst public safety.
However, Seo Juhan, a resident of a cramped studio, didn’t particularly feel deprived.
Physical entities were always outside his interest.
Since I’m out anyway, should I stop by at night and buy some clothes…
Seo Juhan nodded gently as if seeking agreement with his own thoughts.
The days were getting hotter but he only had a few summer clothes in his closet. Most of the rest were at his family home. Moreover, those clothes were too expensive to wear while commuting by bus from a shabby one-room.
Since clothing to him was only about physical protection and social role function, it wasn’t a very anticipated event. It was just labor that had to be quickly dealt with.
The brown eyes that had made up their mind lost focus. They drifted aimlessly toward the window. They wandered thoughtlessly without any emotion.
That’s when it happened. His gaze naturally gravitated somewhere.
The stores in the shopping district were sparse since most except convenience stores or bakeries hadn’t opened yet. But only that place had an unusually high population density.
Focus returned to Seo Juhan’s monotonous eyes.
People were standing in a long line. They stood in an ‘ㄹ’ shape like when checking in at an airport, quite orderly. They were mainly young people in their twenties and thirties, with couples who’d brought strollers and middle-aged people mixed in here and there.
Seo Juhan’s eyes narrowed.
…So the main store was here.
What the hell was it—it was a ‘FunEat Burger’ store.
Are they giving away electric cars in a lottery event?
Seo Juhan unconsciously recalled a desire. He even implicitly converted his time to money.
Unable to suppress his rising curiosity, he eventually took out his phone.
His enthusiasm cooled completely when he read something confusing between a news article and an advertisement.
They’d released a product in ‘collaboration’ with a male idol group currently riding high in popularity. They were selling a limited product ‘Cream Retro Burger’ along with a random box set to only the first 100 customers at all stores.
People in this world really have nothing to do.
Seo Juhan shook his head while pressing the side button on his phone. He raised the volume to cut off his connection with the world.
The premium study cafe he’d sought out as if chased away was nice enough with clean facilities that he thought he’d come again tomorrow. Only the chair was slightly disappointing.
It was soon time for the sun to set.
Seo Juhan, who’d finished his quota, stopped by the commercial district as he’d planned in advance.
The entertainment district on a summer night was more splendid than during the day. The light pouring from signs and music flowing from stores made the streets bright. The surroundings were bustling with people chattering away and walking busily.
Seo Juhan recalled it was TGIF and thought ‘oops.’
Though his shoulders were heavy with his backpack, he moved quickly through the pedestrians. He headed straight to a visible clothing store.
He strode to the menswear corner. He picked up achromatic t-shirts as his hands reached them and hung them on his arm like a hanger.
It was likely he’d try on several at once in the fitting room. He just needed to check if they fit his body appropriately.
That’s when someone tapped his shoulder.
Seo Juhan turned around thinking it was an employee. It was a nuisance to take too many clothes into the fitting room.
“Teacher, hello.”
The two-block cut standing behind bowed his head.
Seo Juhan flinched in surprise after confirming his identity but quickly relaxed his stiff expression.
