Seo Juhan, who had been letting everything go in one ear and out the other, suddenly scrunched up his face.
“Stop with that damn ‘mom’ talk……”
Seo Juhan suddenly felt his chest tighten and couldn’t finish his words. His complexion sank desolately.
He couldn’t even remember when he’d last uttered the word ‘mom.’
Go Un was right.
Seo Juhan was the spitting image of his birth mother. His irises closer to brown than black and his light-colored hair that was both soft and pale were nearly identical. Even the way they looked especially brighter standing under sunlight was the same.
His large eyes with inner double eyelids and slender frame compared to his height were similar too.
Of course, if you picked them apart one by one, there were many differences. But the unique neat yet delicate atmosphere was distinctive. It was like a symbol that would let anyone recognize them as mother and son.
However, in Seo Juhan’s memories, his mom now existed only as a person in photographs.
She had passed away when he was too young, and nearly 20 years had flowed by since then, so it was natural.
Seo Juhan sometimes confronted the afterimage of his mom.
Mainly when his heart pounded in fear from explosive shouting, or when he was alone in bed soaking his pillow with loneliness after being hit.
That way, the person called mom became one with scary, sad, and resentful emotions. So naturally, though he missed her painfully, he didn’t want to recall her.
Perhaps he had consciously erased her.
He had vaguely known since childhood where his father’s convulsive rage, despite loving his son terribly, originated from.
“Just from your voice, I bet she’s incredibly beautiful.”
Go Un chattered excitedly, not knowing any of this.
“Don’t tell me her fucked-up personality is identical too?”
Suddenly, bile rose up Seo Juhan’s throat. His twisted heart tangled chaotically like a black ball of thread.
‘Fucked-up personality’ sounded like this to Seo Juhan’s ears:
A mentally ill person who commits suicide.
“She’s not my mom, she’s my dad’s girlfriend! Girlfriend!”
Seo Juhan, who shouted angrily, chewed his lips hard. He glared bitterly at the dry black eyes.
“Huh?”
It was a voice as if unexpected, but it sounded somewhat indifferent.
The bulk that had been descending two steps ahead stood firmly in place. Go Un slowly turned his head. Standing crookedly, he stared blankly at Seo Juhan.
“Dad’s girlfriend?”
Their eye levels roughly matched.
“Yeah…… So stop with that talk.”
Seo Juhan chewed his lips hard while glaring bitterly at Go Un’s eyes.
It stung like a cold wind blowing through his heart.
It was something he’d never told even Lee Donghyuk and Kim Taeyoon, his closest friends. He’d always acted as if he had a normal, harmonious family.
His stomach churned at the thought of showing weakness to this guy of all people. It felt like tearing open and trampling on a wound that hadn’t fully healed.
The black eyes looking at such a Seo Juhan were clean as usual. Befitting a psychopath, they were indifferent without compassion or sympathy.
That abnormality seemed to rather soothe his turbulent heart.
Go Un tilted his head and raised the corners of his mouth in a grin.
“My dad has fucking tons of girlfriends too.”
His thick eyebrows went up and down.
“There’s even one my age, you know.”
“……”
“We’re even?”
Go Un chuckled and turned his back again. He slowly descended the stairs first. He seemed to be dawdling while giving time to follow.
Seo Juhan silently glared at that figure before taking a step.
The footsteps of two people echoed in the quiet stairwell.
After descending leisurely like a gangster for a while, Go Un spoke again.
“Maybe that’s why, mom’s obsession with her kids is insane.”
“……”
“When I was little, I couldn’t even wear slippers.”
……What? Seo Juhan firmly set his lips.
He had a hard time understanding the correlation between obsession and slippers.
“She wouldn’t let me wear sandals even when we went swimming.”
“……”
“I walked around in wet sneakers, so water came squishing out.”
It was a low tone as if matter-of-factly reporting facts.
Contrary to that tone, his fingers rotated quickly. At their tip, the bear figurine attached to the motorcycle ignition key whirled frantically.
It was so fast that the shape was hard to make out. He tormented it enough that if it flew off, it would shatter to pieces. The poor bear looked like it would get motion sickness and vomit.
Seo Juhan turned his gaze away and walked looking only at his own feet.
It felt unpleasant. It felt like glimpsing some aspect of the guy he shouldn’t have seen.
“Is that all? She fucking refused to buy me scissors. Even though I told her I needed to bring them. So I got scolded at school every day.”
Go Un giggled while listing one outrageous anecdote after another.
“……”
Seo Juhan’s heart burned turbulently listening to that bizarre childhood.
No matter how hard he tried to wear the mask of indifference, when hearing such stories, he couldn’t help but feel a pang somewhere in his chest.
From what he heard, it seemed the human called mom had excessive obsession beyond overprotection. It was close to pathological compulsion.
He could vaguely understand why Go Un became such an unconscionable psychopath who committed shameless acts.
Yet Seo Juhan firmly told himself:
That guy was just a passing crazy bastard.
He utterly detested the type of melodrama that made a detestable criminal the protagonist and then evoked sympathy with a backstory about a heartbreaking family history.
But as he kept listening, the son of a bitch was about to be elevated to a human being.
Unable to tolerate that, Seo Juhan quickened his pace. He had to escape from this demon’s lair as soon as possible.
Seo Juhan forcefully brushed past the side of the guy who had been ahead.
Did he rush too much? For a moment, his steps got tangled and he staggered as his slipper came off.
“Whoa.”
His body, about to tumble after losing its center of gravity, was yanked back. Something hard touching his back supported his falling body.
“Whoa shit, you scared me.”
Go Un embraced Seo Juhan from behind and exhaled a trembling breath.
Seo Juhan also collapsed into his arms, calming his pounding heart.
One black slipper had rolled all the way down to the corridor on the lower floor.
“Teacher almost cracked your head open for real.”
The teasing-like voice contained clear relief.
The arm wrapped around his shoulders was firm like an iron chain yet warm. Perhaps because of that warmth, Seo Juhan’s face, which had paled, quickly regained its color.
“……Let go.”
As soon as his startled heart calmed, Seo Juhan coldly shrugged his shoulders and shook off Go Un’s arm. The snare came loose unexpectedly easily.
Go Un still had his hands stretched out in the air. As if standing by in case the precious body got hurt.
Seo Juhan grabbed the railing and slowly placed his feet one step at a time. Even with socks on, the bare floor touching his soles was cold.
Go Un followed slowly, matching his pace without taking his eyes off the precarious back.
Seo Juhan also put his slipper back on and continued descending the stairs.
When they circled around the bent landing, the escape route finally came into view.
The sunlight pouring through the glass door beyond couldn’t have looked more brilliant.
Is this how a castaway stranded on a deserted island feels? It was like finally escaping from a labyrinth teeming with monsters.
His legs stopped just before crossing the finish line.
“……Hey, you go first.”
Seo Juhan turned back and said.
“Huh?”
Go Un asked back as if to say what are you talking about. It was a lax posture with his hands clasped behind his head.
“I said go first.”
Finding that annoying, Seo Juhan snapped icily.
“Why? Let’s go together. I said I’d give you a ride home.”
“I’m not riding.”
“The bus interval is long, so you’ll have to wait a while.”
“I said I’m not riding. I’ll never ride your cheap moped again, even if it kills me.”
“Damn. Calling my beloved steed a moped.”
Go Un pouted his lips.
“Where did the kind Teacher Juhan who told me to always wear a helmet go?”
Go Un sang a strange song he made up as he brushed past Seo Juhan.
Seo Juhan rolled his eyes following that trajectory.
The glass door opened wide. Beyond it, the lawn and the main building at a distance were visible.
The sky, where the sun was beginning to set leisurely, was dyed red.
Go Un didn’t go out but held the door like a doorman and waited. Then he jerked his chin at Seo Juhan toward the outside, as if telling him to go out first.
Seo Juhan looked at the silhouette with its back to the sunlight, then opened his lips.
“No…… Before anyone sees, you go first.”
“Ah. So?”
Go Un narrowed his eyes as if he now understood what he meant.
“So what if someone sees.”
He shrugged once as if saying you worry about everything.
“Why. Afraid they’ll ask what we did?”
Then he smiled greasily as if butter had been spread on it.
“Just say you had a consultation with your homeroom teacher.”
“……”
“Per. Son. Al. Coun. sel. ing.”
“Hey shit, aren’t you going out?”
Seo Juhan clenched his teeth and kicked Go Un’s shin hard. Even from his rag-like body came monstrous strength.
