Learning Through Teaching 35Everyone at this table was a young professional who couldn’t even dare imagine the day they themselves would become the older generation. The bitter realization of reality continued for those who thought a new world would open once they got a job.
Though they chattered this way and that, in a capitalist society, fair compensation for labor could only result in ‘currency’. Money was a means, but it also became a goal.
“So how much do you get paid?”
Seo Juhan asked confidently. Being a civil servant anyway, he was a glass wallet.
“Ah, this is top secret.”
When Lee Donghyuk tried to brush it off vaguely, Seo Juhan pressed again.
“It’s not like it’s a national security matter. Hurry up and spill.”
Eventually, following Lee Donghyuk, even Kim Taeyoon readily revealed their annual salaries.
“It’s less than I thought.”
“It’s because I’m still in the probation period.”
“How much do you get when it ends?”
At Kim Taeyoon’s answer, Seo Juhan faced the salary gap with private companies.
“But at least you have guaranteed tenure.”
Of course, the monthly salaries of Lee Donghyuk and Kim Taeyoon, who had just joined their companies, weren’t at a subjectively satisfying level either.
The conclusion of the continued conversation was that if you didn’t invest in stocks or Bitcoin, there was no place to stand on this narrow land of the peninsula.
“I’m telling you this coin will definitely moon.”
Lee Donghyuk held out his phone screen. A daily candlestick chart with blue and red bars was displayed. Even though the coin market moved 24 hours, there seemed to be little activity at night as there wasn’t much movement.
Kim Taeyoon glanced at it and quickly turned away as if uninterested.
“This bastard says he works overtime every day but has time to look at stuff like this.”
“I’m going to work overtime anyway, so why work hard? You have to rest here and there while working late. Otherwise you can’t endure it.”
Lee Donghyuk stared intently at his phone screen. He was as serious as if he’d become an astrologer who could sense the future by looking at graphs.
“You have to do stuff like this to buy a house. I calculated how many years Yuyoung and I would have to work to buy a house in Seoul, and there’s fucking no answer.”
Seo Juhan also casually slurped up the fish cake soup broth with oil floating on it.
When no one showed interest, Lee Donghyuk flipped his phone face down on the table. He changed the topic while poking the last remaining smoked sausage with a fork.
“It would’ve been nice if Yunu came today too.”
“Right.”
Kim Taeyoon answered while tilting the brown bottle to fill his beer glass.
“Seeing there’s no news, is he still job hunting?”
Seo Juhan asked while dipping dried seaweed in a soy sauce dish.
“Hey, job hunting what. He’s far from graduating.”
Lee Donghyuk let out a hollow laugh as if it was absurd.
“Why?”
“He went to medical school.”
“What?”
Seo Juhan asked again with wide eyes.
Lee Donghyuk also raised his voice as if dumbfounded.
“You didn’t know? He went to the military right away in his first year, then took a leave of absence, retook the college entrance exam and got into medical school.”
“…Did he?”
Seo Juhan made a dumb voice as if only now finding out.
Lee Donghyuk clicked his tongue and scolded.
“Looking at this bastard, he really has no interest in other people. Does he live in the world alone? Weren’t you two the closest?”
“…We were close.”
Seo Juhan calmly admitted.
Even with Lee Donghyuk’s rebuke, there was no real impact. Wasn’t it human relationships to get close then drift apart anyway?
Seo Juhan, who was afraid of blood, hadn’t considered medical school in the first place, so he wasn’t particularly envious.
He must have been busy studying. He finally seemed to understand why contact had become infrequent.
Ji Yunu’s soft face flashed before his eyes after a long time. He thought about asking how he was doing, but Juhan quickly lost interest.
Seo Juhan was someone who didn’t bother to contact first unless there was something special.
The drinking session continued past midnight until dawn.
Anyway, alcohol made his mood languid.
Seo Juhan also broke down the ice wall after a long time and showed the foolish side that had been hidden. The guys he could reveal his inner thoughts to and curse with were comfortable.
The incredible incident in Jeonghan City also submerged below the surface.
Though it was just a cover-up, he even forgot the fact that it had happened.
When he disbanded the drinking party and returned to the house that wasn’t like a ‘home’, Seo Juhan’s face was also reddish.
What greeted him was silence again this time. The silence pooled like an old swamp.
However, from the newly present pair of men’s and women’s shoes, he could guess there were more people. But they seemed to have already fallen asleep in the deepest room inside, as there was no sign of presence. So to Seo Juhan’s feeling, it was the same as before.
Click.
Seo Juhan quietly closed the front door behind him.
He walked down the corridor with muffled steps.
The kitchen, as spacious as the living room, wasn’t completely dark. A faint blue light leaked from the monitor attached to the refrigerator and the water purifier.
The kitchen without disorder was elegant as if it would appear in a magazine. As far as Seo Juhan knew, actual cooking here rarely happened.
He picked up one of the transparent water glasses placed as if on display. He pressed the button against the water purifier.
Cold water poured out. The chill transmitted even to the fingers holding the cup.
After filling it brimming full just before overflowing, he carefully put his lips to the cup. He drank several times while moving his Adam’s apple with gulps. The feeling of cold water sweeping down his esophagus was vivid.
One glass wasn’t enough. Seo Juhan filled and drank several glasses in succession.
Thirst arose like a bottomless jar.
Strangely, one corner of his chest felt cold.
Occasionally the hole in his chest of unknowable depth threw a tantrum asking to be noticed. And that hole grew especially larger after laughing and chattering excitedly. It was felt keenly when he was alone again.
The half-filled hole hurt more. So it was rather more comfortable to be alone from the start. It was better to drift alone in a lonely universe.
Seo Juhan walked to the sink holding the empty water glass.
“Just getting in now?”
Suddenly a solemn voice was heard from behind.
His shoulders reflexively flinched and trembled.
Seo Juhan barely caught the glass he almost dropped and hurriedly set it down on the sink.
“Ah… Yes.”
Then he hastily turned around and answered.
A figure that had approached without any sign of presence stood bathed in blue light.
It was Seo Juhan’s father, Seo Youngjae.
Seo Youngjae, standing next to the island table, was dressed in rippling black silk pajamas. It was neat attire with not a single thread carelessly sticking out.
His expression was stubborn and firm, and even his posture was upright. It was hard to believe he’d just woken up.
“The smell of alcohol is overpowering.”
Seo Youngjae clicked his tongue with a disapproving look. The sharp gaze flashed even more coldly blue because of the bluish light.
Seo Juhan secretly bit his lips, regretting not entering his room quickly.
“A guy who doesn’t hold his liquor because he takes after his mother…”
Seo Youngjae looked at his only son as if he were disagreeable. To others’ eyes he was a robust young man, but perhaps because he was the spitting image of his mother, he only looked infinitely weak.
“I believe I told you repeatedly not to drink.”
It was a cold voice without emotion.
Seo Juhan was pressed with his back against the high sink. His lowered gaze was directed somewhere toward Seo Youngjae’s feet.
“Isn’t alcohol the root of mental illness? If you were born with vulnerable genes, you should be careful.”
Seo Juhan listened silently in a submissive posture.
At this point, saying he’d drunk for the first time since the March welcome ceremony would only stoke his anger. As always, it was better to stand politely without objecting.
As his father said, alcohol was a lump of harm with no benefit. Nothing would be solved by pouring it down. It was all his fault.
Seo Juhan also readily acknowledged it, but his brown eyes swirled with gloom. Even that he couldn’t control as he wished.
“At this age, I don’t want to hold a funeral for my only son. Especially not by suicide.”
“…”
“Be careful from now on.”
Though it was a father-son reunion after a long time, Seo Youngjae shot out harshly without even greeting.
“…Yes.”
Seo Juhan answered silently.
Having become accustomed to his father’s cutting words, he was unwavering. At least on the surface.
However, the incomprehensible remark stabbed like a dagger. It mercilessly pierced his chest that was already calloused.
It was rather fortunate he was drunk and his mind was hazy. Perhaps because his brain was paralyzed, the magnitude of pain also decreased.
“Good. That’s enough then.”
Seo Youngjae finally concluded as if satisfied.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen your face, so let’s talk. Sit down.”
Seo Youngjae gestured to the high dining table and spoke leisurely. The black eyes looking at his son were inorganic, as if regarding an object.
“…Yes.”
The counter was inefficiently large. Seo Juhan went around its perimeter.
His legs soaked with alcohol drooped. His knees creaked like a rusty machine. Still, he tried his best to walk properly somehow.
