To think there was so little I could do. Mother and I gradually spoke less and less. We simply held hands and sat quietly on the sofa, leaning against the backrest. One day, the TV dug into why Uncle couldn’t remain in an executive position, and another day, it dragged out Father’s internal reputation within the company. One day, there was talk about me too. About the power structure of succession, comparing Father and Uncle, and then Kim Jaeui and me. Yet another day, news came out about Maternal Grandfather’s company. About how Father and Mother’s marriage had benefited the company’s interests, and talk about strategic marriages between corporations. But the two of them had been a love marriage.
In the midst of all this, my birthday passed. My parents would make seaweed soup for each other on their birthdays, and on mine, the two of them would cook together. But this time, they couldn’t buy seaweed so they couldn’t make seaweed soup, and that day, for the first time, Mother cried in front of me.
A few days later, Father received investigation results that he hadn’t participated in the embezzlement. Mother cried and laughed while listening to Father’s voice over the phone.
However, it wasn’t over. While digging into Uncle’s past, it was reported that Uncle had committed embezzlement in the past as well. And that Father had turned a blind eye to it, and that Grandfather had driven Uncle down to a low-level position. The world’s attention shifted from whether Father had participated in the embezzlement to aiding and abetting embezzlement.
Uncle’s embezzlement had been 14 years ago. Because the statute of limitations for embezzlement in business was 10 years, the prosecution couldn’t add that charge to Uncle’s crimes. However, since Father turning a blind eye to Uncle’s embezzlement had resulted in helping to conceal Uncle’s criminal acts and contributed to Uncle not paying for his crimes, Father had to be investigated on suspicion of aiding a criminal’s escape. There was no time for the tears in Mother’s eyes to dry. I just… spent the day in a daze.
Uncle had been a criminal since 14 years ago. Still, because he was a younger brother, because he was the youngest son, Father and Grandfather who had tried to cover it up and move on. Could I not do the same? If Father or Mother, or Grandfather committed a wrongdoing and I found out about it, could I report it without covering it up? The answer came quickly.
Even so, if I felt disappointment in Father, that would be hypocrisy. And I was shocked at myself for understanding Father. Because I realized that justice wasn’t always right for me.
Father was indicted without detention and returned home. Looking at Father’s face from the entrance, he appeared noticeably gaunt. Father looked at me with an exhausted and weary face, and I looked back at Father. It was probably the same face as Father’s. Holding the crying Mother in his arms, Father cried a little too. It was probably the first tears he’d shed since this incident broke out. Watching Mother and Father collapse, I felt the ground giving way beneath my feet.
Around that time, I was already sensing it. A vague but certain premonition of ‘the end’.
A day that could never be the same as before.
[……Kim of the ……bam Group has drawn public outrage as it was revealed that the funds he embezzled 14 years ago were from a foundation under the group that supported children……]
It was then that my thoughts turned to Chiwon.
Chiwon. What was Chiwon doing? He must have seen the news, of course…… Was he disappointed? All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind. I wanted to meet him and talk about everything, hold hands, and lean on his shoulder even for just a moment. I stared at the phone I couldn’t turn on and slowly lowered my head to my knees. I missed Chiwon like crazy. It was so hard.
The things that had seemed natural were actually a castle built on sand. Only then did I realize I had truly lived without thinking. I had just lived as given, without any resolve or anything. Looking only at what I had without adding more effort was arrogance.
But what could I do? I was seventeen. Only seventeen.
“Chiwon-ah……”
As I spoke Chiwon’s name, only then, for the first time, I was able to cry.
Because Father was in an indicted state, going to the company was impossible. So Grandfather was taking care of all the company work, including Father’s share. The phone calls from Grandfather became increasingly infrequent, but I couldn’t call him carelessly in case I disturbed him during the rare times he was resting. Grandfather’s voice became hoarser day by day, and later there were times when the secretary conveyed updates instead of Grandfather.
December, on a day when snow was falling. Father received a verdict of dismissal due to the statute of limitations having expired. It was right after that when Grandfather collapsed.
“Ah, I said I’m fine but everyone’s gathering here……”
“Father, you collapsed. How is that fine?”
“Making a fuss over nothing.”
Grandfather, lying in the hospital bed with various things attached to him, looked extremely small and frail. He had seemed like the biggest person in the world before, but Grandfather’s body covered by the blanket was so thin it seemed like it would cave in if pressed. Grandfather, with eyes sunken from layers of accumulated fatigue and burden, laughed heartily, but there was no one in the hospital room who laughed along with him.
Grandfather had lived his whole life doing nothing but work until his hair turned white. His heart could no longer endure it. The doctor recommended that Grandfather step down from the front lines. Grandfather didn’t give any answer, but I sensed that Grandfather had made up his mind.
To visit Grandfather, we had to sneak into the hospital avoiding reporters. It was so heartbreaking. This present moment when I had to avoid countless eyes to visit my sick grandfather. I held Grandfather’s hand, which was dried and cracked like tree bark.
“……Grandfather.”
“Eorin-ah.”
Grandfather gazed at my face endlessly.
“I’m sorry.”
“……”
“There were many things I wanted to give you, but I…… I couldn’t protect them.”
Tears welled up in Grandfather’s eyes. I rubbed my eyes.
“I only kept adding burdens to your heart, and in the end…… I have nothing to say. I’m sorry……”
“Grandfather. Don’t cry. I’m okay.”
Father, who had been quietly watching the conversation between Grandfather and me, stepped forward and grasped Grandfather’s shoulder.
“Father.”
“……Yes.”
“I’m going to step down.”
Even at Father’s words that he would quit his job, I wasn’t very surprised. Grandfather wore a somber expression.
“So that’s how it ends up.”
“I have to take responsibility. That Seunghun grew up recklessly, and that I covered it up, is all my fault. I have nothing to say even if people point fingers. Your company that you’ve built up until now, I…… ruined it, I’m truly……”
His voice choked up, Father’s voice trembled as if it would break. Grandfather found and held Father’s hand that was placed on his shoulder. When Father seemed to have calmed down a bit, Grandfather continued.
“Gyeonghun-ah.”
“Yes.”
“Gyeyoung made his move. You know, right?”
“Yes.”
“Half the board of directors has sided with Gyeyoung. If you and I step down, Haebam will completely go over to Gyeyoung.”
Is that okay? Father nodded.
“To be honest, now it’s more…… exhausting than greed. I’ve lived enjoying more than I deserved all this time, and if I end up making my family cry in the end, I want to step down.”
“……Yes, you took after your mother’s wise side. Seunghun took after my pathetic side……”
With eyes looking into the distance, Grandfather sighed.
“However, Eorin……”
Neither Grandfather nor Father could continue speaking, and they looked at my face. At that moment, the hospital room door opened.
“Great-great-uncle, I heard you collapsed!”
It was Uncle. Uncle strode in with one attendant accompanying him. Mother and Father both stared at Uncle in shock with dazed faces. They came to their senses when Uncle grasped Grandfather’s hand.
“Even considering your age, you should take care of your health-.”
“Kim Gyeyoung!”
A fiery voice burst from Father’s mouth. Even that was immediately followed by him catching his breath while checking Grandfather’s complexion, seeming to worry that Grandfather might be startled and worsen again. Father grabbed Uncle’s shoulder and roughly pushed him away.
“How dare you come here.”
“……Why, did I come somewhere I shouldn’t?”
“What, you……!”
“If I’d known hyung was here, I wouldn’t have come either. I don’t want to face a criminal. What’s dismissal, dismissal?”
Mother drew in a breath with a pale face. At that sound, Uncle turned his face.
“Ah, sister-in-law, you were here too. Have you been well?”
“……”
“Eorin, have you been well too?”
It was the same good-natured smiling face as before. For a moment, I felt like my eyes were going to roll back. But then Mother blocked my way. Mother’s back, which had become smaller than mine at some point, was before my eyes.
“You have no shame.”
“Pardon?”
“Young master, still, every time I saw you and Jaeui living together since then, I worried a lot. So I helped and stayed close for ten years, and you stab me in the back like this? Are you in your right mind?”
It was the story of the aunt-in-law who had passed away after giving birth to Kim Jaeui. When the aunt-in-law passed away, Mother had been heavily pregnant so she couldn’t be of proper help, and she had once muttered about how sorry she was about that.
“Are you speaking informally to me now, sister-in-law?”
“Yeah. Is there a problem with that?”
If you’re upset, you should have been born before me, before hyung. Mother said sharply. She was the Mother who always said that winning by age was the most underhanded, who always spoke gently, and even during disagreements, always gave reasons.
“……Still, basic courtesy between people-.”
“It’s funny hearing the word courtesy from your mouth.”
Uncle closed his mouth and stared quietly at Mother. Father blocked his way.
“……Right, if you’d been born ‘before hyung,’ you wouldn’t have needed to go around this far.”
Uncle smiled again. Chiwon and Father were similar in height, so I couldn’t be completely blocked. Uncle’s gaze squeezed through that gap.
“The label of being a criminal’s son will stick a bit, but Eorin, you’ll still be okay. If you work hard, well, getting a position won’t be difficult.”
I saw Father clench his fist. I was also so angry that my chin trembled. At that moment, an unusual sound rang from the machine attached to Grandfather behind us.
“Father!”
“Grandfather……!”
“Gyeyoung-ah.”
Grandfather’s voice was cold. It wasn’t filled with anger, nor was it passionate. However, at Grandfather’s single word, the atmosphere in the hospital room froze. The machine was sounding a warning and his complexion was gradually turning pale, but Grandfather didn’t let even one breath falter. With a face hardened enough to be surprising, emotions invisible, Grandfather murmured lowly.
“Is this what you call visiting the sick?”
“……”
