The kids said they’d shower first then prepare to grill meat outside. Eorin tried to yield his turn when he saw me become last to shower, but seeing Eorin’s lips were also blue, I waved my hand. Then Eorin, who had been moving his lips a few times, wrapped a large towel around me with a determined face, rushed into the shower room, washed in an instant, came out, and pushed me inside.
“Come out when you’re warm. Okay?”
“You should have washed more leisurely too. What if you rush out like that? Did you wash properly?”
“Yeah. I washed well.”
Since Eorin answered vigorously, I had nothing to say. I quietly entered the shower room.
After washing, shaking my hair dry with a towel, and going to the kitchen, in that short time they must have engaged in some kind of struggle because the kitchen was a complete mess. From the cutting board that had been taken out, the onion cut in half, and the knife half-stuck in the onion, I could feel someone’s anguish and attempt. I giggled and pulled the knife from the onion, starting by peeling the onion’s skin first.
“Ah, Chiwon-ah. Did you finish washing?”
“Yeah. But do you happen to know what this was for?”
“Earlier Eorin said he’d try slicing the onion into strips, so I guess that’s it.”
Woojin said that while taking out ssamjang from the refrigerator. Indeed, on the plate next to the cutting board, there were a few chunks of roughly cut onion pieces. It seemed he wanted to slice them thinly but it didn’t work out as planned. Eorin really can’t cook either. When I sliced the onion on the cutting board into strips, put them in a dish, and also sliced and plated the kimchi that had been in the refrigerator and went outside, there was the acrid smell of fire along with the smell of grilling meat in the yard.
“You already started grilling?”
“Yeah, so we could eat right away when you came.”
The one holding the tongs was Eorin. Eorin looked at the onion bowl in my hand and awkwardly avoided my gaze. On the grill wrapped in foil, pork belly and pork shoulder were sizzling as they cooked. They said they wanted to eat right away when I came, but the foil caught fire a few times while grilling so there was a fuss, and while trying to light the mosquito coil by holding it to the charcoal, the mosquito coil broke so they struggled to take it out, so the actual eating was much later. Holding our rice bowls that Hyeonho had scooped out, we sat down and picked up our chopsticks. Since we were in the mountains, the sun set early so there were even a few stars in the darkened night sky, but with the lamp it wasn’t dark.
“Ah, I’m starving to death!”
“Thank you for the food!”
Though it was covered in soot, it was surprisingly delicious. When eaten wrapped in the ssam vegetables we’d bought, the meat went down smoothly. Perhaps because we played hard in the water, the kids were also frantically burying their faces in their bowls eating. Watching the meat decrease, I stood up from my seat and approached the fire. As I put on new meat, Eorin, who had approached at some point, stood next to me and tried to snatch the tongs.
“Sit and eat, Chiwon-ah. I’ll do it.”
“Hm? No, it’s okay.”
I grinned while avoiding Eorin’s hand trying to take the tongs. But with the two of us standing by the fire, the kids gathered around the fire one by one.
“Thinking about it, is there a need to grill and bring it over?”
“Hm?”
“Let’s just eat it as it grills here.”
At Hyeonho’s words, Junsu and Woojin with greatly enlightened faces gathered the kimchi, ssamjang, and ssam vegetables and lined them up on the side of the grill not touching the fire, then hugged their rice bowls and sat in front of it. In the end, we ended up sitting around the fire eating, and even when sparks occasionally flew and made tiny holes in our clothes, we just laughed.
I think we brought 15 servings of meat, but after eating our fill, what remained was one package of pork belly. When I first saw the amount of meat, I thought we’d grill meat and eat dinner tomorrow too…… Eorin and Woojin, who were the culprits who finished all that, just laughed.
Since I cooked during the day, the rock-paper-scissors for dishwashing proceeded excluding me. Hyeonho ended up caught, but feeling a bit bad about doing nothing, I approached Hyeonho to at least rinse with water. From the living room came the sound of laughter about what they were doing.
“Why’d you come when you could go play?”
“To help.”
When I smiled, Hyeonho smiled back. Doing the piled-up dishes silently like that, Hyeonho suddenly opened his mouth.
“Chiwon, you’ve changed a lot.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You weren’t like this in elementary school…… Well, it’s been over 3 years so that makes sense.”
When I said nothing, perhaps misunderstanding, Hyeonho hurriedly continued.
“No, I don’t mean it badly, I mean it well. You look good these days. Before, how should I say……”
“I looked lonely?”
“Uh…… Yeah.”
Hyeonho answered while watching my reaction. I giggled. Even while watching my reaction for such a short answer, I was grateful and pleased that he was ultimately honest.
“It’s the truth, so what. Back then was really hard…… Now it’s good. Everything. The friends are good, and I like that I’ve changed too.”
“……And Eorin is good too?”
That one phrase suddenly slipped in. Really surprised, I choked and coughed.
“Sorry. Were you surprised?”
Hyeonho urgently held out a water cup. In that short moment of gulping down the water I received, I pondered fiercely. How should I deny it to look natural? But it seemed ruined from the point I choked. How on earth did he know?
“You, you……”
“Only I know. Don’t worry. I won’t tell. There’s nowhere to tell anyway.”
Before I could open my mouth, Hyeonho struck first. The way he was certain made it seem useless for me to deny it. My face grew hotter and hotter. Seeing my face with reddening eyes, Hyeonho fidgeted restlessly.
“……I’m not crying.”
“Really? Ah, you startled me!”
Hyeonho put down the sponge and sighed.
“How…… did you know? Do the kids all know too……?”
“They probably don’t. They met you after entering high school. Me, well…… mm, I’ve known you from before so there were a few more things I could see……”
Haaaaah. I squatted down holding onto the sink. Embarrassed and ashamed, what even is this?
“……It’s a secret. Absolutely a secret. Absolutely absolutely a secret.”
“Got it, got it. I absolutely won’t tell.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Hyeonho, who took off his rubber gloves, also squatted down and whispered softly to me.
“Since it’s unfair if only I know, I’ll tell you too. I said I have someone…… I like, right?”
“Yeah. Huh……!”
“Wh-what?”
“No, it’s my first time with secret stories like this so I suddenly got nervous…… So who is it?”
“Ah shit, you scared me to death…… It’s.”
“Yeah.”
“Our homeroom teacher……”
“Teach……!”
“Shh, shh!”
I almost shouted without realizing it, so Hyeonho firmly covered my mouth, not knowing what to do. Hyeonho’s homeroom teacher was the social studies teacher who was appointed for the first time this year. But that teacher was an alpha, and Hyeonho was a beta. I immediately realized that Hyeonho hid who he liked not just because he was embarrassed.
“Hyeonho-ya……”
“Yeah, I know too. Damn, how did it end up like this?”
An adult, a teacher, and between an alpha and beta…… There were more than one or two obstacles. Thinking Hyeonho must be suffering mentally too, I rubbed Hyeonho’s back. Seeing my tearful face, Hyeonho sighed deeply.
“You don’t have to look at me like that. I’m in a half-given-up state.”
“Still…… that’s amazing. Just acknowledging it…… I would have pretended not to know until the end. You’re brave.”
I knew that acknowledging feelings of liking someone, and not letting go of those feelings, required courage. At my words, Hyeonho smiled softly.
“You’re the only one who’d say that. That’s why I opened up, but…… You must be complicated too. Since you have this and that.”
“This and that” must have been the story of things surrounding Eorin and me. Eorin’s world, my world, the line drawn between them and intersection points and such. From the start of that intersection, the hierarchy of our relationship was decided.
“What are you two talking about so much?”
Suddenly a voice came from behind. Startled, I tried to stand up abruptly and banged my head on the edge of the sink. As I held my head moaning, footsteps approached closely.
“Chiwon-ah, are you okay? Does it hurt a lot?”
“Ow…… I’m, I’m okay.”
The one who spoke was Eorin. Having stood up at some point, Hyeonho answered with a calm face while finishing washing the remaining dishes without even wearing rubber gloves.
“It wasn’t anything special. Right?”
“Yeah.”
Oh, totally natural. I decided to ride along with Hyeonho’s nonchalance and nodded while rubbing my head. And when I sneakily checked Eorin’s expression, he looked sullen somewhere.
“Eorin-ah?”
“Whatever. Are you done with the dishes?”
“Uh……”
“We’re done.”
“Then let’s go to the living room. Uncle gave us ice cream to eat before he left.”
At those words, Hyeonho, who hastily took off his rubber gloves, excitedly ran to the living room. He didn’t forget to wink at me from behind Eorin’s back while going. I smiled cheerfully at Hyeonho then flinched at Eorin’s glaring gaze.
“Why, why?”
“……”
Eorin, who had been watching me quietly, suddenly sighed deeply. Then he walked trudgingly with his lips pouting and came behind me and clung to me.
“You like Hyeonho more than me, right?”
“Whaat?”
“Chiwon is mine but Hyeonho took him. You’re sharing a room with Hyeonho too, how nice. How nice.”
No, what is this? I couldn’t hold back my laughter so I giggled. Then Eorin got more huffy.
“Don’t you dislike sharing a room with Junsu? I’ll tell Junsu.”
“When did I say I dislike it? It’s not that……”
Stop talking. Eorin, who shook his head, hugged my waist tightly and walked waddling. I struggled desperately to hold back laughter. Whenever Eorin occasionally got jealous and sulky like a child like this, I would try hard to disperse the rising satisfaction and superiority. Even though the name of the emotion might be different, because it made me feel that I was an important person to Eorin. I always tried not to harbor half-baked expectations, but still at times like this, I inevitably got excited. Enough to cover even the bitter taste of unrequited love I occasionally felt, everything Eorin offered me was all sweet and good. Like the vanilla scent richly wafting from behind.
Stopping while going to the living room, Eorin suddenly buried his nose in my neck. I could feel him inhaling with my skin, raising shallow goosebumps. My back trembled. Through our touching bodies, Eorin must have definitely felt it too. I took a small deep breath to calm my rapidly heating face.
“Why, why are you doing that?”
“Nothing. Just because.”
“Huh?”
Saying it was nothing, Eorin grinned. Finding it hard to smile back, I forcibly turned my attention to the ice cream.
