“I did mess up with you, so instead of saying ‘no it’s fine,’ get a little angry. I’m not planning to fall away over something like that anyway.”
What is this guy, laying the groundwork so well. Sighing briefly, Kwon Yunsu looked at Shin Jaewoo again. And said seriously.
“You, don’t do that kind of thing anymore.”
“……”
“If you got carried away by the atmosphere… though I’m not sure there was such an atmosphere, anyway. Anyway, snap out of it. If you do that as if possessed….”
Kwon Yunsu’s cheeks reddened. Shin Jaewoo quietly gazed at Kwon Yunsu’s face flushing red. Is it because of me, or because of that guy? The ominous premonition grows darker.
“…I shouldn’t do it as if possessed?”
Hiding his rising defiance and asking back nonchalantly, Kwon Yunsu seriously shook his head.
“You shouldn’t. That… seems kind of dangerous.”
“What’s dangerous.”
“It’s dangerous.”
It was an unprecedentedly firm tone. And he looks at him with a resentful face as if he knows nothing.
“It almost became a big problem.”
At the profile biting his lips with reddened cheeks, Shin Jaewoo felt miserable.
Who’s the one possessed? Me? You?
Who put you in danger? Me? Him?
What’s such a big problem? ‘Who’ kissed you…?
It was the first time in his life feeling such defeat.
“Does it bother you that much that Euishin got angry?”
“……”
“Or did he….”
“Shi, Shin Jaewoo.”
Kwon Yunsu’s face was completely tearful. I’ve made you uncomfortable again. I’m happy. That you’re making that expression because of me. But I just confirmed it, and the real reason your cheeks are red is…
“…I really hate fighting with Euishin.”
His heart sank. It was a face beyond perplexed—it was anguished. An ominous premonition becomes certainty this quickly.
“I’m sorry.”
“……”
“I won’t do it anymore.”
Kwon Yunsu nodded.
“…Yeah, don’t do that.”
Because Euishin gets angry, don’t do that. Because he keeps putting me in danger, because we end up fighting…. That’s exactly how it sounded.
It was deflating and ridiculous. It really became a ridiculous situation. To end up like this with such an absurd mistake. Who ended up doing someone a favor in the end?
His head ached and his insides seemed to boil, so Shin Jaewoo stopped thinking. He’d thought there was room to play around more, but he didn’t have the seriousness needed to wedge into that sticky relationship.
What I was sensing was,
“I like you, Yunsu-ya.”
That perhaps today I might give up on you.
“It wasn’t because I was possessed. I know for sure, that I’m that way. That I like you.”
“……”
“It’s not impossible. There are people who live like that. It’s my first time confessing to a normal guy, but… I’d appreciate it if you’d think about it seriously.”
Though he said this, he was already sensing the conclusion. Kwon Yunsu wouldn’t enter a proper relationship with him. But it wasn’t his temperament to turn his back without seeing things through to the end.
“I won’t be clingy. I won’t make things difficult for you. I don’t believe in things like the love of a lifetime. I’m the dating type, so I can’t cling to someone who says they don’t like me for long, and I prefer stable relationships with someone who mutually has feelings. I do a lot of sexy stuff too.”
Kwon Yunsu was just a mute who’d eaten honey. Whether that face full of confusion was because of his confession or because of the danger from someone, he couldn’t tell.
Then he suddenly realized.
The reason he’d started looking at Kwon Yunsu with ‘those’ eyes in earnest was because of Lee Euishin’s gaze. He’d come to recognize that Kwon Yunsu was someone who ‘could be that way’ through that guy’s gaze looking at Kwon Yunsu.
Mine. So confident and natural in claiming his rights that, through that filter, Kwon Yunsu’s harmlessness shone even brighter.
So that flush on those cheeks isn’t his.
The shame that had twisted Kwon Yunsu’s face as if he’d cry that day—that wasn’t because of him either.
***
“In basic electronics, we study the interactions of voltage, current, no, this is still easy. These are all words I know. and resistance as they pertain to…… This much is general education class level, yeah. Don’t be nervous….”
Watching Kwon Yunsu muttering to himself with his gaze fixed on the monitor, Shin Jaewoo chuckled. Seeing him work so hard to go watch that soccer was both pitiful and cute. He was a spirited sprout if there ever was one.
After the dream of a joint budget went up in spectacular flames, the club members were each busy gathering funds. No, to be precise, only Kwon Yunsu and Song Taesu were doing that. The two hyungs who’d been planning the trip since their repeat year said they’d steadily saved their allowances, and Ahn Shinwook clearly didn’t come from a struggling household. His own situation was similar.
Kwon Yunsu and Song Taesu, who’d hastily started part-time jobs, became hard to see. Piecing together passing remarks, Song Taesu seemed to have saved up a bit more money.
Watching Kwon Yunsu struggle so hard made him want to give him money, whatever the amount. It wasn’t that he didn’t have the ability to do so, but if he really did such a thing, their relationship would probably sour, so whenever there was a chance, he was buying him food.
Kwon Yunsu, who’d been holed up in the library for a while, showed his face today for the first time in a long while. No, he didn’t just show up—Shin Jaewoo came to see him. When afternoon class was canceled and the group chat said he was alone in the club room translating a paper, instead of going to the lecture hall, Shin Jaewoo cleaned out a convenience store in sight and rushed to the club room. He really ran. It was embarrassing but not a bad feeling. Kwon Yunsu kept suddenly reminding him of his age that had just crossed the line.
“I’ll forget your face.”
Saying that, he thrust the convenience store bag at him. Kwon Yunsu’s eyes widened and he soon smiled brightly.
“No way? If you keep buying me stuff like this, I won’t forget even after a hundred years, you know?”
Not me, you. You, you fool. Shin Jaewoo smiled bitterly.
Kwon Yunsu is modest. He doesn’t attach excessive meaning to compliments or affection directed at him, and instead pleasantly returns them with words that consider the other person. He’s enthusiastic but his greed isn’t excessive either. Holding his favorite snack in his hand, looking through the rest,
“Shinwook likes this one.”
“Taesu said this was good. Have you tried this?”
“Shin Jaewoo, what do you like? If it’s sold at convenience stores, I’ll buy you ten. In the fall.”
Saying that with an excited face was really pretty.
The reason people are good to Kwon Yunsu is simple. Because he can be made happy with small things. What, is he that happy over something like that, they wonder, but it’s an undeniably pleasant reward. These days even the unfriendly Ahn Shinwook seems to occasionally buy him various things to eat. That Kwon Yunsu was receiving terrifyingly fearsome love from Lee Euishin, who hates everyone in the world. Uniquely. Viciously and greedily like never again in this world.
“Want to share this?”
Shin Jaewoo looked back at Kwon Yunsu with a smile as he offered the snack.
You don’t suit a guy like that.
“Ah.”
Play with me instead.
When he playfully opened his mouth, Kwon Yunsu smiled and fed him the snack. Then without even a moment to talk more, he returned to his seat. Hoping for a proper atmosphere is far too much to ask.
“Should I help?”
Kwon Yunsu spoke English fairly well, but translating engineering papers wasn’t easy for a freshman who’d never studied specialized subjects with original texts. Even just looking up and organizing the flow of sentences or complicated words would help shorten the time.
“Just two hours.”
I should say it like this so he won’t feel burdened. He approached with the resolve to toss aside a couple of general education exams if need be. However, Kwon Yunsu flatly said.
“No, I’m fine.”
He was smiling gently, but Shin Jaewoo immediately noticed he was displaying his own firmness. This was because fundamentally, he wasn’t the type to try to deceive someone.
“If I receive help from you guys too, I think I’ll really hate myself.”
“……”
“My noona must have tattled to Dad because he keeps asking if I need money. How much does it cost to go to such places. So I’ll do this myself. I’ll do as much as I can.”
It was a statement whose context of stubbornness and honesty was completely incomprehensible. What kind of defiance is that anyway? It was just fascinating and cute. Shin Jaewoo sat on the sofa some distance away and opened a book he’d borrowed from the library. Since it’s cute, he decided to respect it.
“I’m really free today. I’ll be reading, so if you need anything, tell me—I’m just bored.”
“Okay.”
Even as he said that, Shin Jaewoo knew he wouldn’t end up asking for help. For now, he filled his heart with just being alone with him in the same space. His heart was floating excitedly, but he mustn’t disturb Kwon Yunsu. Just this one thing, no, just two things to ask.
