“Stop it. Drop whatever you’re thinking right now.”
“…I’m not thinking about anything.”
“Don’t think useless thoughts and just eat the food I give you. I’m serious.”
I’m serious. His head hurt that the day had come when he’d say such things to his country boy. You’ve completely lowered your pride, Lee Euishin. It was a humiliating realization.
“You eat the food I make. Once exams are over, I’m going to take cooking classes and train.”
Grumbling in response, Kwon Yunsu was grateful to himself for arming himself with trivial jokes.
I can’t show I’m awkward. He absolutely can’t know my heart’s about to burst. …If I ask why he goes that far, it’ll get even more awkward. Let’s not think about anything like Euishin said. Don’t be curious about what he’s thinking, why he has such an angry, surprised, serious face…
“Learn from me.”
Lee Euishin saying that was still serious.
“From selecting and preparing ingredients, learn everything from me. I’ll teach you.”
He was so serious he looked cute. Just moments ago he was acting coldly like he’d kill someone.
“Okay.”
Is that a relieved expression right now? Lee Euishin’s face, exhaling briefly, was pale. And his lips were red. Kwon Yunsu’s face also reddened.
Why am I like this?
Because of you. Because you’re so serious.
As if you… absolutely don’t want to let me go. …And you used to do such things in the past… and you, you k-kissed me too.
I really value friendship and don’t want to push you further into being a crazy bastard, but you keep…
“……”
…It’s strange, Euishin-ah.
***
He ran into Shin Jaewoo at lunchtime the day before.
It was a day without an exam, and since Younghwan-hyung, who had an afternoon exam, said he’d pass on the library seat, he’d quickly packed his things and come out.
Leaving the house unplanned was because he kept having stray thoughts. Because things that were natural felt unfamiliar.
Why had he taken this lifestyle for granted? Was this lifestyle of settling rent with food expenses, cleaning and doing laundry as he pleased, and being together every day really appropriate as cohabitation between friends who were middle and high school classmates?
No matter how much Lee Euishin is a rich kid’s son and no matter how close we are… Euishin, you hate group living, have never once borrowed someone else’s gym clothes, and don’t even touch patbingsu or stew where multiple spoons go around. I know you like me a lot, but now I think I’m messing up your sacred residence too much. Because of me, you spend a lot of money and do a lot of labor… none of that is natural.
─It was an escape from such thoughts.
‘Yunsu-ya!’
On the way up to the library, when he turned his head at the sound calling him, Shin Jaewoo was walking over from the opposite side with an unfamiliar face. It had been roughly ten days. Shin Jaewoo had the same distinct, kind, and handsome features. He had an enviably good physique but looked a bit tired. Fortunately, all the bruises were gone. Feeling shamelessly glad, Kwon Yunsu smiled. Though he had unexpected tastes, Shin Jaewoo was honest and good both in the way he confessed and accepted rejection.
‘Having a hard time studying for exams?’
Instead of an awkward greeting like ‘How have you been?’, he opened the conversation like that, and
‘The bastards who scammed you, I’m pouring water and praying they get caught and wear silver bracelets.’
He whispered so, avoiding the guy who was shoulder to shoulder.
Report quickly, forget about the results. Recalling the advice he’d heard several times, Kwon Yunsu smiled faintly.
‘I just decided to forget about it. Are you doing well on exams? I have one tomorrow and one left next Tuesday.’
‘I’m done after today and tomorrow. Then we can have an end-of-semester party on Tuesday. Even if we can’t go on the trip, we should do what we have to do.’
‘Hey, I… what shamelessness…’
Unable to continue his words in an awkward mood, Shin Jaewoo smiled gently.
‘Since I’m more shameless than you and I’ll set things up, it’s okay. You can come.’
‘Why would you?’
‘You dropped out because an unavoidable reason came up, but I just dropped out because I didn’t want to go.’
Because he didn’t want to go. …Because that reason disappeared.
He felt a bit embarrassed at himself for immediately understanding those words. Though he doesn’t add unnecessary thorns, Shin Jaewoo’s tongue is quite accurate.
‘Anyway, don’t feel needlessly down. You and Song Taesu are our club’s entertainers, so you need to come and cheer for the expedition team. If you don’t even show your face and go into vacation, the hyungs will be disappointed. When does Lee Euishin’s exam end? Come to think of it, I don’t know his schedule.’
‘Lee Euishin?’
While being unknowingly influenced by Shin Jaewoo’s confident words, the guy standing next to them added with a surprised face. You know Lee Euishin? The guy opened his mouth again.
‘This guy’s Lee Euishin’s friend?’
‘Yeah, I’m Lee Euishin’s friend.’
The unfamiliar face looked at Kwon Yunsu with surprise and curiosity. Why is he like that? He looked at Shin Jaewoo thinking he might know the reason, but the guy just smiled faintly without any particular explanation.
‘You know Euishin?’
‘Euishin-iiii?’
At Kwon Yunsu’s question, the guy made an even more bizarre face.
‘Should we have a cup of coffee at the middle hill?’
At Shin Jaewoo’s suggestion, the three of them climbed the hill side by side. The unfamiliar guy opened his mouth again when Shin Jaewoo left his seat to order coffee.
‘…Are you by any chance that guy who’s Lee Euishin’s high school classmate?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Are you also that guy who’s living with him now?’
‘I am.’
‘Whoaa…!’
The guy’s face was sighing as if seeing the most absurd person in the world. Then he suddenly confessed.
‘Hey, I’m that guy’s middle school classmate.’
‘I don’t know you though?’
‘The school he originally attended.’
Ah, the Seoul school. When he nodded, the guy quickly looked around and continued.
‘Are you getting beaten while living there?’
‘…I do get oppressed by his mouth, but there’s been no physical violence.’
What’s with this guy? He answered with curiosity. And the guy gradually became serious and talkative.
‘You be careful. People’s nature doesn’t change. You don’t know what kind of guy Lee Euishin was, right? Our school district was a really honor student neighborhood, but he’s the one who turned that bottom into a thug scene. He was famous for returning this much when you picked a fight this much. I cried every morning at the start of the new semester when I found out I was in the same class as him. He transferred away for three months or so and came back as the total fucking final version. Whatever happened in that village…’
‘Hey, it’s not a village. You can get there by subway. There are lots of apartments and downtown too.’
Kwon Yunsu’s rebuttal was ignored.
‘Whatever thug he met there, my god… I feel like I could piss myself thinking about it again. He came back as a psycho. Before that he’d beat up kids while smiling, but when he came back he’d beat them while spouting really weird things. Later he’d curse in all sorts of ways and really curse…’
‘……’
‘I was class president. All I did was report where Lee Euishin went during lunch and what trouble he caused, as the homeroom teacher told me to, and it would’ve all been reported anyway even without me… Whew. Every time the kids called me class president, class president, he’d glare at me like he’d chew me up. I fucking begged the kids to call me student council class representative, but no one listened. I even took tranquilizers. Once I treated everyone to pizza with the class president’s money during sports day, and he kicked all the pizza boxes with his feet onto the dirt playground… Ugh…’
Class president. Sports day. Pizza. Words that were cherished memories for him were a combination frightening enough to require tranquilizers for someone else. I thought he wouldn’t beat up others even just because it’s bothersome, because he’d hate dirtying his hands… Lee Euishin, you crazy bastard, you weren’t just an eighth-grader syndrome with a big mouth but a real thug?
‘…What?’
And with a trace of anxiety, Kwon Yunsu asked.
‘Huh?’
‘What did… what did he say while beating up the kids?’
‘Hey, that’s the real kicker. You know what he said? That crazy bastard…’
‘Contact me.’
‘Contact me, fuck.’
‘Why aren’t you contacting me? Answer me, huh? Why aren’t you contacting me?’
I, I’ll co-contact… When the guy getting thoroughly beaten barely replied, Lee Euishin made a straight face and said this.
‘Ah, not you.’
‘……’
‘Fucking answer me. When are you going to contact me?’
Shin Jaewoo’s classmate and Lee Euishin’s middle school classmate said he could never forget the sobbing of the thugs who had been swaggering until Lee Euishin returned.
“…Huu.”
Is that crazy bastard really the one sleeping quietly over there?
At 2 AM, unable to fall asleep at all, Kwon Yunsu, who had bolted out of his room, looked at Lee Euishin’s firmly closed door in the darkness and thought.
‘─Why didn’t you contact me?’
He also recalled the memory of a day when he had a big fight with Lee Euishin. In reality, it was just being surprised and receiving the one-sided anger he’d vented, but since the cause of making him angry was in himself, it was right that they fought.
When he said he was leaving, he cried so desperately, but when he actually couldn’t see his face, his confidence to keep the connection completely disappeared. Lee Euishin, who had suddenly become distant, felt twice as far as when he was right next to him throwing side dishes and saying mean things, and he belatedly realized in friends’ conversations recounting his absence how aloof and popular the guy had been.
‘Kwon Yunsu monopolized that kid. What kind of fortune was he born with?’
Euishin probably doesn’t know that he felt as deflated as he was proud at the sound of girls openly snubbing him.
Would you accept my contact? Euishin-ah, is Seoul school fun? Isn’t a place where people live all the same? Don’t you miss our neighborhood? …You left without even saying you’d come visit, so I don’t know if you enjoyed life there or not… Playing soccer with me, going home, snacking together.
