# Chapter 65
After a long silence, all I could manage was an awkward question.
“Then… what are we? I… you…”
Wimu quietly watched as I stumbled over my words. I tightly shut my eyes and blurted out an honest question.
“If I can only think of you as a friend, will you be hurt?”
When Wimu didn’t answer immediately, I cautiously opened my eyes to find him trying to hold back his laughter. Soon a loud laugh followed as Wimu shook his head. I stared at him in confusion, unprepared for this reaction. Wimu came closer and playfully ruffled my hair.
“You can’t easily hurt me.”
“Why?”
“Because just seeing you makes me happy.”
The corners of his mouth lifted. Despite calmly answering my honest question, his face was full of satisfaction. As Wimu moved away from me again to feel the breeze, I clenched my teeth. Thinking that crying here would make me look like a real fool.
I felt our relationship had entered a new stage. Perhaps not just with him, but with everyone else as well. It wasn’t simply about someone liking me, or me liking someone, and being sad if those feelings weren’t reciprocated. After everything we’d been through, solid trust and precious affection had finally settled in our hearts. Looking at Wimu’s clothes fluttering in the wind, I quietly said:
“I’ll stay.”
Wimu turned to look at me.
“I’ll stay here and hope for your happiness. I’ll remain here longer so that Jiman, Devan, and Kadilen can all be happy too.”
Hope blossomed on his face. Wimu walked back to me and asked, almost pleadingly:
“Then are you happy too? When you’re with us?”
“I…”
But as I opened my mouth to answer, Wimu noticed someone standing behind my shoulder. His head bowed respectfully.
“Your Majesty.”
* * *
Kadilen was staring intensely at me with an inscrutable expression. As always, a calm and gentle atmosphere surrounded him, but I couldn’t hide my flustered expression. There was nothing he shouldn’t have heard. Only…
‘If we find the medicine, would you live with the child?’
The question he had asked me, and
‘I don’t know why I should live.’
My answer flashed through my mind.
I wondered what Kadilen thought as he watched me tell Wimu I would stay here. Though it wasn’t a situation that required excuses, I felt awkward and fumbled for words. Kadilen observed me carefully and asked calmly in his usual low voice.
“Were you in the middle of a conversation?”
“Yes. We were taking a walk together.”
Wimu answered for me, as I was noticeably flustered. Kadilen silently nodded.
“You’re meeting Luan tomorrow, correct?”
“Yes. Devan will travel with Ludin, and I plan to follow behind.”
Wimu methodically explained our plan. Listening to this practical conversation helped me calm down a bit. Though Kadilen quietly listened to Wimu’s explanation, he occasionally glanced at me. Realizing I hadn’t properly greeted him yet, I gave a simple bow of my head whenever our eyes met.
“I understand. And…”
Even after Wimu finished speaking, Kadilen continued looking at me and slightly extended his words. Wimu and I, unable to anticipate his next words, waited curiously. Kadilen seemed to hesitate slightly, then said with a somewhat embarrassed face:
“He instructed that you should become closer to me.”
My face, which had just calmed down, now turned bright red. I was the only one who understood exactly what that instruction meant. Only I knew what useless comments that wretched Arzel had added with such instructions. What he wanted wasn’t some intense friendship between Kadilen and me.
But Wimu answered formally:
“That’s right. He said he wants you to become closer.”
Kadilen, staring directly at my reddened face, simply said:
“Then let’s start now.”
“What?”
Wimu and I turned our heads simultaneously. Kadilen gestured to me and whispered softly:
“Becoming… closer, I mean.”
Then he swiftly turned around and strode in the opposite direction. Wimu and I, left behind, both frowned. After saying we should become closer, what did he expect when he walked away so quickly? Wimu seemed to share my thoughts as he shrugged his shoulders.
I stretched out my hand, pointing at Kadilen so Wimu could see. Wimu shrugged again with a perplexed expression and waved his hand, suggesting I should follow him. While I hesitated, Kadilen had already passed a column, and I finally followed behind him cautiously.
In a suffocating silence, Kadilen walked well ahead of me, and I quietly followed in his footsteps. Occasionally, Kadilen would turn his head to check if I was still following. Each time, I fidgeted, not knowing where to fix my gaze, but he would simply look forward again without saying anything. Judging by the fact that he didn’t ask what was wrong, it seemed he really did want me to move with him. I followed him with some relief.
As we slowly walked toward an unknown destination, everyone we passed had puzzled expressions like mine. Sometimes people greeted me, but I deliberately avoided conversation for fear they might ask where we were going. I didn’t know either.
Then, after walking non-stop for a while, Kadilen suddenly stopped in his tracks. I slowed down too and looked around. This corridor led to his office, but we would need to walk a bit further to reach it. I was about to ask why he had stopped, but Kadilen began doing something even stranger.
He suddenly started taking each step very slowly, like someone with heavy weights attached to his legs. Feeling somewhat foolish, I followed him, moving slowly. Now the gazes of people passing us were filled with even more questions. The same was true for me. Kadilen leisurely acknowledged the bows of those greeting him but didn’t stop his slow pace. However, after a short distance, his steps completely stopped again.
This time I stopped with him. Kadilen slightly turned his head to look at me, and whispered softly:
“Come beside me.”
Ah. So he was trying to match his pace with mine.
I finally started to understand the situation a bit. I quickly walked up and stood beside him. I was about to open my mouth to ask if we were going to his office, but Kadilen immediately began taking long strides again. Scrambling to match his pace, I stared at Kadilen’s face as he walked, focused only on what was ahead. Seeing his ears turning bright red made me feel a bit embarrassed.
In front of the office stood the attendant whose face was now familiar to me. He let out a small sigh as he saw Kadilen and me walking in side by side. While he prepared the office, I waited quietly in the back, watching carefully.
When the attendant finished his preparations and passed by me, I let out a sigh of relief. Kadilen, who had been observing me all this time, approached with a concerned face.
“You don’t look well.”
“It’s nothing.”
“If you’re feeling unwell, we should call Jiman immediately…”
I quickly shook my head and waved my hand.
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s nothing serious, just…”
I hesitated whether to answer or not, but Kadilen’s eyes were already narrowed as much as possible. I whispered roughly, ensuring my voice wouldn’t be heard outside:
“His gaze was uncomfortable…”
I tried to immediately ask another question to divert his attention, but Kadilen made a large gesture toward the door, summoning the attendant.
“Oh no! Your Majesty. There’s no need for that.”
I hurriedly grabbed his arm to stop him, but Kadilen’s expression was firmly set.
“No. I cannot simply watch someone making you uncomfortable.”
His face looked so serious that I felt both flustered and somewhat grateful. However, since this wasn’t something that needed to be escalated so much, I continued shaking my head. I tried to dissuade him by waving my hands several times, but to no effect.
“You there. Do you have an issue with Ludin?”
Finally, having summoned the attendant, he asked coldly. I kept my head down, trying my best to avoid eye contact with either of them. Still, I was curious about what answer would come from his lips. Why did he dislike me so much? Thinking he must have his reasons, I was actually somewhat glad for this situation. The attendant stared directly at me as I peeked at him, and answered indifferently:
“Yes, Your Majesty. I do.”
A brief silence fell. Even Kadilen seemed a bit perplexed, not expecting him to answer so directly.
“Well then, tell me.”
The attendant took one deep breath, and immediately spat out his words like rapid fire:
“Your Majesty, since Ludin entered the palace, you’ve been constantly lingering outside his room. It’s not just once or twice that you’ve rushed out in the middle of work. Even after returning, your face remained dark with worry, causing no small concern among the attendants. Even when I tried to dissuade you, your mind was always filled with thoughts of Ludin, making it simply amazing how you manage to attend to state affairs at all. Is that all? You don’t eat properly, and last time your health deteriorated, and now you even meet Ludin in your dreams, calling his name in your sleep…”
“E-Enough.”
Kadilen hastily raised his hand to stop the torrent of words.
“Shall I stop speaking?”
The attendant asked calmly. I could feel Kadilen’s face turning red as he glanced at me nervously. I slowly processed what had just been said, feeling somewhat dazed. Kadilen quickly waved his hands, driving the attendant out of the room.
“Yes. Stop talking and leave.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
I barely managed to hold back my laughter while watching him obediently leave. Now Kadilen had completely turned away from me, awkwardly rubbing his face.
“Um… Your Majesty?”
I quietly called to him. Kadilen, who had been fidgeting, turned his head gently.
“On second thought, I don’t think his gaze is uncomfortable after all.”
“…I see. That’s good then.”
An awkward cough substituted for the silence.
