# Chapter 32
The atmosphere within the palace had grown cold and somber lately. The heavy mood of the newly empowered king had enveloped the entire palace.
Kadilen tried his best to prevent his confused feelings from affecting others, but it wasn’t easy. Even after a month had passed, there was still no news from Wimu. Now that the regime had changed and the relentless political affairs were somewhat settling down, it was incredibly frustrating to have one situation remaining that he simply couldn’t resolve.
It was all the more frustrating because everything had started from that fact.
He thought of Ludin every day. During the past month, when nothing could be certain, the throne felt uncomfortable, as if it wasn’t his rightful place. The great shock he experienced when first discovering Zendal’s letter had subsided with time, and now it was mixed with about equal parts doubt. There was no room for such a contradiction in the path he had chosen. He didn’t know what methods were used, but whoever did this must have been extraordinary.
After experiencing disappointment upon disappointment and completely losing trust in Ludin, Kadilen rationalized the situation to his advantage. Whenever suspicious feelings arose in a corner of his mind, he invariably recalled situations where Ludin had disappointed him. Could someone like that have acted without a curse, committing such madness? Would he have truly tried to pass information to Kadilen without gaining anything? Would a person of royal blood, even if exiled, have helped the rebel forces win?
It made no sense. He didn’t want to believe it either.
There was no reason for it. If there was one thing that bothered him, it was Ludin’s emotions that wouldn’t leave his mind since the moment he saw the letter.
Such tender and unconditional feelings were something Kadilen had never experienced in his life. Feeding him the bead wasn’t meant to read such emotions. The bead had several effects, but Kadilen had used it to determine whether Ludin was lying. It had the ability to sense the other person’s emotions when facing them at close distance. The effect intensified when looking into their eyes, allowing him to know the most prominent emotion residing at the top of one’s heart.
That’s why it made even less sense. Such feelings couldn’t possibly be Ludin’s greatest emotion.
And that’s why he trembled with rage. It was disgusting that the fabricated feelings were of that nature, and he couldn’t stand the fact that his own heart had wavered for a fleeting moment when he confirmed it. Seeing so clearly what Ludin’s scheme was aiming for made his hatred rise even further.
‘So how could I possibly believe…’
Kadilen tried to brush away the unpleasant thoughts as he rested his chin on his hand and looked at the map on the desk. It was a map organized to show the kingdom’s political situation at a glance. But his concentration on work was brief as someone carefully knocked on the door of the room where Kadilen was.
“Enter.”
At his response, a servant hurriedly rushed in. When Kadilen raised his eyebrows with an expectant face, the servant handed him a message placed on a red velvet cloth. Kadilen ignored his frantically beating heart and read the words written on the paper.
‘Ludin is alive. Arriving today. All are safe.’
For the first time in a long while, color returned to his face. The servant breathed a sigh of relief at the king’s brightened expression. The memories of facing the king’s terrifyingly contorted face when delivering insignificant messages in recent days flashed by. Whatever this was, it was fortunate that the situation was being resolved.
Kadilen dismissed him with a benevolent smile. Even after the servant left the room, he continued fingering the paper, checking its contents several more times to make sure he hadn’t misread it.
Finally, today the questions that had been tormenting him would be answered.
* * *
Wimu entered the palace during dinner time. Upon receiving the news, Kadilen left his unfinished meal and rushed to the room where Wimu was waiting. Confused courtiers tried to follow the king’s hurried steps, but Kadilen ordered that no one be admitted and locked the door firmly.
Contrary to expectations, Wimu’s face looked quite haggard. When a slightly surprised Kadilen approached him with concern, Wimu bowed his head respectfully with an expression that seemed ready to cry. Confused by the weak appearance of his only loyal follower, Kadilen looked around to find the person who had reduced him to such a state.
At first glance, he failed to recognize and his gaze passed right by.
But looking again, he saw the small man sitting miserably. Even when imprisoned, Ludin had not looked so broken. Kadilen couldn’t begin to guess what he had done after leaving the palace. His half-closed eyes couldn’t focus on anything specific and trembled ceaselessly. Through the layers of wrapped clothing, his skeleton-thin body was visible. His mind seemed completely shattered as he continuously mumbled something quietly. Those whispers contained utterly incomprehensible content.
“Why did you take me out? If you had just left me to die, this wouldn’t have happened… Back to Devan…”
Kadilen looked at Wimu, demanding an explanation. But he only lowered his head further.
“Did you question him?”
“…I haven’t asked anything yet. It seems that a man called Devan had been keeping him captive.”
Wimu painfully spoke in response to his master’s question. He couldn’t even bear to look in Ludin’s direction. Kadilen guessed it would have been too difficult for him to find out the circumstances directly, given that he had once called Ludin a friend. He could somewhat understand Wimu’s feelings, as Ludin’s appearance was pitiful even to him.
Kadilen thought that at times like this, he needed to assess the situation coolly. Whatever Devan had done to Ludin didn’t matter. All he needed to discover was the truth about the curse Ludin carried. Although he had many questions for him, he first unfolded Zendal’s letter to him. It was something he had kept inside his clothes all afternoon since receiving Wimu’s message.
“Do you recognize this?”
At Kadilen’s question, Ludin’s mumbling abruptly stopped. Zendal’s letter was placed where Ludin’s gaze could reach. Kadilen waited tensely for his answer. But Ludin’s eyes couldn’t reach the text and were merely trembling finely.
Out of frustration, Kadilen took one of the letters and read it aloud.
“I can no longer hold expectations for you, Ludin. Your actions at the temple seem to have completely failed to grasp my intention to carefully observe that place.”
“…”
“These are words written by your father.”
Kadilen, watching the unresponsive Ludin, asked in a sharp voice.
“Did he instruct you to monitor the temple?”
“…”
“How did you respond?”
“…”
“Judging from the content of the letter, you seem to have failed to understand his intentions. Did you transport the curse after this letter was written?”
“…”
Despite the succession of questions, Ludin remained silent. He couldn’t understand most of the questions, but he was gradually becoming aware of the situation. He couldn’t believe that the person standing before him was Kadilen. Despite the continued aggressive questioning, Ludin couldn’t even keep up with his pace, let alone think of answers. Nevertheless, he felt miserable that his first emotion upon recognizing Kadilen’s presence was happiness.
Ludin slowly raised his head, unsure if he was allowed to do so. Having placed before him someone he believed he would never see again, he wanted to see Kadilen’s face one last time, at the very least.
His gaze was piercingly cold. Without avoiding Ludin’s eyes, Kadilen opened his mouth once more.
“No answer. Let me ask just one more thing.”
“…”
“Did you come to the temple with the purpose of spreading the curse?”
Even knowing that nothing would change, Ludin slowly shook his head. He still couldn’t understand why this answer was needed. Kadilen wouldn’t believe him anyway. He had only responded reflexively to the barrage of stern questions. Watching Ludin shake his head, Kadilen tried to read his emotions. There was nothing particularly noticeable. Just something heavy and lusterless deeply embedded in Ludin’s heart.
“I saw a certain… emotion in you.”
“…”
“Having confirmed it directly with you, I think you know what it means.”
It was the night when Ludin had thought of Kadilen while gazing at the dark night. Kadilen had approached Ludin as he wandered through the temple, rapidly closing the distance between them. His heart had beat incessantly, and he felt his chest would burst from the tension of worrying that Kadilen might discover it.
That night, Kadilen had clearly confirmed Ludin’s feelings. And it took only a moment for his confusion to turn into hatred.
“Can you prove it.”
Kadilen’s doubtful words rang sharply in Ludin’s dazed mind. At this absurd demand, he laughed emptily. What more could he possibly prove and how? Since first opening his eyes at the temple, every moment had been a path to proving his feelings for him.
Truly, every moment.
The body he had thrown away for him, the blood he had shed, and each breath he had exhaled had ultimately saved Kadilen. It didn’t matter if he gained nothing in return. Even when he waited without resistance for Devan’s hands to brush against his naked body in a dark room, as payment for saving Kadilen, he didn’t feel wronged.
‘It’s all over now. There’s no need to ask me to prove my feelings at this point.’
Something neither resentment, nor affection, nor anger rose hotly within him. An unknown emotion welled up so overwhelmingly that Ludin could barely breathe. Nosebleed droplets fell to the floor. His eyes reddened, but he lacked the energy to cry. Shedding blood instead of tears, Ludin continued to laugh hollowly.
Kadilen, offended by his laughter, was about to open his mouth to command something else when a servant approached the king nervously.
“Your Majesty. A man called Devan has arrived.”
“Didn’t I say to call no one until later!”
“I relayed that, but…”
As the servant bowed his head awkwardly, the door opened and Devan stormed into the room. The two guards who tried to block him drew their swords in surprise, but Devan easily brushed off their blades.
“I heard you were interrogating Ludin without me, so I came.”
“How dare you…! Do you know where you are?”
“How dare you face Ludin, Your Majesty.”
“What?”
“How dare you, after what you did.”
Kadilen frowned at the sight of Devan, who stood before him fearlessly ignoring the royal command. While annoyed that he appeared at such a crucial moment to interfere with the situation, Kadilen also felt the need to extract what Devan knew about Ludin. After all, it was this man who had helped Ludin escape the palace. To prepare for any situation, he needed to uncover their relationship.
Devan gritted his teeth and shifted his gaze. The moment his eyes fell upon Ludin sitting feebly, he felt he might lose consciousness again. Drops of dark red blood were scattered on the floor where Ludin sat. His hands, weakly supporting his body, kept slipping, causing Ludin to collapse several times in the short interval.
What Devan had discovered while searching thoroughly at the foot of the mountain for Ludin, who had disappeared from the cave, was Wimu’s search party. He wanted to extract Ludin immediately, but their numbers were considerable. Knowing they were heading to the palace, he decided to observe the situation for now. The fact that he was behind Ludin’s escape probably hadn’t been reported to the royal court yet, so this was his last chance to enter the palace.
Devan silently watched Ludin trapped in Wimu’s arms. Eventually tearing his gaze away with difficulty, he headed for the royal palace.
And now, there was Ludin, kneeling before Kadilen, looking utterly exhausted. Hot blood rushed to his head. It was time to reveal everything. Nothing else registered in his vision.
“Let Jiman in.”
