He had prepared to run into the housekeeper as soon as he opened the door, but no one was there. As soon as he came out into the hallway, he headed straight to the bathroom. He could no longer ignore the fishy taste filling his mouth. This time, nausea really came up.
As soon as he entered the bathroom, he grabbed the toilet and threw it all up. As strength entered his body, his stomach throbbed. Seonwoo clutched his stomach with both arms, in pain. The sound of his struggling moans was exactly like sounds heard during sexual acts. But whether when he had Taejeong’s member in his mouth or now, the front of Seonwoo’s pants was in the same state as usual.
ლ
Because of his indifferent personality, Seonwoo had never taken the initiative to lead things from childhood, nor did he get swept up in whatever people around him said.
So male classmates at school often picked fights with Seonwoo, calling him “no fun” for not going along with their actions. On the other hand, he was well-regarded by female classmates. He wasn’t violent in speech or actions, and when they actually talked with him, conversations flowed smoothly, earning him favor. The saying “if you stay still, you’ll be average” fit perfectly.
His indifferent personality was packaged as “just a bit dull and quiet kid” thanks to his harmless and decent appearance. Thanks to that image, even when Seonwoo got into fistfights, most reactions were “he must have had a good reason.”
Anyway, while he seemed uninterested in worldly affairs in other people’s eyes, in truth, Seonwoo had a tendency to dig in tenaciously once his heart was set on something.
In third grade of elementary school, there was an assignment to observe kidney beans. They had to record changes over 7 days and submit it. Other kids neglected them as soon as the assignment ended, but Seonwoo watered them every day even after that.
Seonwoo’s morning routine during that time was to go to the veranda as soon as he opened his eyes and move the pot to a place with good sunlight. When he came home from school, he would immediately return home and observe intently how much it had grown in the meantime.
After the stem grew, he made a support with wooden chopsticks together with his dad, and his mom helped with pruning. He saw the flowers bloom and saw the long pods form and gradually harden.
While classmates had already forgotten the assignment, Seonwoo carefully raised it for two months. He even brought the harvested kidney beans to school and showed them to the kid sitting next to him. The child who had just recently become his seatmate thought it was a lie and didn’t believe Seonwoo’s words.
But Seonwoo wasn’t upset. He was already satisfied just by showing the kidney beans, and it didn’t matter what reaction the other person showed.
Seonwoo had to see things through once he became interested. There were various types. Even he couldn’t know what the criteria for becoming interested was. Everything seeped into Seonwoo’s life through coincidental opportunities.
Ceramics was the same. What started as a one-day experience led to his career path. Unlike growing kidney beans that were harvested in two or three months, ceramics had processes that continued endlessly.
Who knows what would happen if he went to university and learned properly, but that was a problem to think about when the time came. Since it was the subject he had poured the most interest and effort into in his life, for now it was just enjoyable. He wanted to see it through to the end, as far as he could go like this.
But after the accident, he could no longer do so. Ceramics, his parents, things that naturally existed in Seonwoo’s daily life all disappeared in an instant. Ironically, the only subject that now aroused Seonwoo’s tenacity was Taejeong.
It had been a while since he’d woken up in his room in the morning. As soon as he opened his eyes, Taejeong’s room, which he went to, was locked like yesterday. Seonwoo naturally took out the key from his pocket. He hadn’t put it back in its place and had kept it on him all night.
Seonwoo showed no sign of embarrassment even after doing such a thing the day before. As soon as he entered the room, he searched for Taejeong with his eyes, and where his gaze stopped was the corner of the bed. A large lump of blanket was touching the wall.
His body wasn’t visible because he was tightly wrapped in the blanket, but his bulk looked doubled in size, making him stand out even more. When Seonwoo’s weight settled on the bed, the blanket lump flinched. Confirming that Taejeong was awake, Seonwoo immediately closed the distance.
“Hey.”
It was a short sound, but he could feel his voice was completely hoarse and cracked.
“You can hear my voice is fucked up.”
Even when he forced himself to speak while tensing his throat, the pitch was unstable and it seemed like air was leaking. Seonwoo continued talking to Taejeong in that unstable voice.
“My throat is all hoarse because of you and it hurts like hell, but you’re going to keep ignoring me? My wrist is bruised too and it fucking hurts. Look at this. Look, hey, aren’t you going to look?”
He tried to show his bruised wrist by putting it inside the blanket, but there was no movement. They both could only use one hand the same, but the difference in strength was considerable. Seonwoo kept talking while trying to pull off the blanket. Not satisfied with that, he punched a few times at the part that felt like legs.
He thought if he tormented him, he’d get fed up and at least throw a punch. But Taejeong had no reaction whether he punched or not. When Seonwoo bothered him, it felt like he burrowed deeper into the blanket.
“…….”
Seonwoo stopped what he was doing and slowly closed his mouth. As if weighted down, the corners of his mouth drooped down. Because of that, even his already downturned eyes looked more drooped. At least in appearance, he looked like a rain-soaked puppy staring intently at Taejeong who was rejecting him.
Is he that disgusting to look at? Is it repulsive to have his dick sucked by a man when he’s not even gay? But even though he barely touched him a few times, he got hard right away and came everything he had to come. When he enjoyed it himself.
Overnight, he’d been on edge worrying that Taejeong might harbor unfortunate thoughts, so he came to find him as soon as morning came, but neither his words nor actions came out nicely.
He let out a deep sigh. His emotions fluctuated too much. Seonwoo had rarely been like this in his life. Because of Taejeong, he kept having experiences he could have lived without knowing.
“…….”
Frowning, Seonwoo stroked his throat. Just chattering for a few minutes made his throat sting. Even a light cough came out, so it was hard to squeeze out his voice anymore. So he left the motionless blanket lump alone and went down to the first floor.
Standing in front of the kitchen water purifier, he alternately filled hot water and purified water. He wanted to pour in cold water, but he held back because it felt like his throat would tear. When he drank water, his throat stung like being stabbed with a needle.
Come to think of it, his stomach hurt from being hit by Taejeong yesterday, so he tossed and turned all night and couldn’t even sleep properly. When he lifted his clothes in the morning, his skin was swollen red where Taejeong’s foot had kicked him.
“Ha…….”
After emptying one glass of water, his thoughts changed again. When his own nose was three feet long, coaxing and soothing Taejeong felt pathetic. As he was putting down the empty cup in the sink, he saw kitchen scissors placed on the dish drying rack. Seonwoo imagined going back with those and tearing up all the blankets.
It was the moment when he gripped the kitchen scissors, thinking he’d be satisfied if he could face Taejeong’s face even like that. He faintly heard the sound of the front door opening.
“…….”
He could tell from the sound that someone was taking off their shoes, passing through the hallway, and approaching the kitchen. Seonwoo turned around, still holding the scissors in his hand.
“Oh my, Seonwoo. You woke up early?”
It was the housekeeper who walked from the hallway. Seonwoo slipped the scissors behind his back and put them back in place.
“Isn’t today your day off?”
“That’s right, it was originally a day off, but the Vice Director contacted me yesterday. He asked me to check in every day for the time being. But your throat condition is worse than yesterday. Did you sleep with the window open at night?”
“I guess I did.”
